[17 years ago]

(Stargazing while sitting on a bench under a street light...)

ALAN: If you travel to that star, it's four quadrillion miles away. I know girls aren't good at maths, but that's a long way. Cos the thing is, Belinda, I look up at the night sky, and it is so beautiful, and I think, "How can I capture this? How can I celebrate your birthday and treasure this moment forever?" So I bought you... this. Happy birthday.
BELINDA: Thank you.

(She starts to rip open the wrapping paper)

ALAN: You could fold the paper and save it for later, but never mind.

(A framed Star Certificate.)

BELINDA: Oh! Wow.
ALAN: So, what it means is, that star, that's yours. That star, right there. Shining down upon us.
BELINDA: Does it have to say Miss?
ALAN: Are you married?
BELINDA: No.
ALAN: Then it's Miss. Do you like it, or...?
BELINDA: Yes! I'm sorry, Alan. Yes. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you.
ALAN: Just... gonna... kiss you.

[17 years later - Hospital A&E]

(A shooting star / fireball flies over a hospital as the TARDIS materialises outside.)

BELINDA: So, who bit you? Was it a dog? Was it a man? Was it your wife...?
PARAMEDIC KIRBY: She's tachy at 120, systolic at 70. She's had one gram of TXA, five milligrams of morphine, and she's got a gram of IV paracetamol...
BELINDA: I'm sorry, but I've phoned your daughter, and she's on her way. Is there anything else I can get you? How about a nice cup of tea and a sandwich?

(The Doctor just misses her. Later, off-duty...)

NURSE STEFAN: There's a doctor looking for you.
BELINDA: Tell me about it. See you tomorrow.

RECEPTIONIST: (To the Doctor) No.
DOCTOR: Just one little name.
RECEPTIONIST: I can't give out home addresses, it's not allowed.
DOCTOR: Oh! Look over there!
RECEPTIONIST: What?

(The Doctor sonics the computer screen and it sparks, then the lights go out.)

DOCTOR: Oops. Sorry! Sorry.

(The entire hospital goes dark.)

[Belinda's Kitchen]

(Everything in the fridge is labelled with a housemate's name. The pot labelled Belinda smells off to her.)

TOMBO: Linda! Don't touch the granola! It's mine!
BELINDA: It's Belinda. And that was Kristine, not me.
TOMBO: She said it was you.
KRISTINE [OC]: Will you two keep it down? Some of us have got work in the morning.

[Belinda's bedroom]

(A rumbling makes a photo frame topple off the bedside table and her Star Certificate fall off the wall. She gets up and watches a bright light descend.)

BELINDA: What the...?

(A classic 1950s style pulp sci-fi rocket ship has landed in the garden.)

[Hallway]

(Two robots break through the front door and one briefly points a laser pistol at her. They are red, egg-shaped, two arms and legs, with a circular screen on the front. No head.)

BELINDA: Is this some kind of joke? You're not real, actual robots, are you? Cos that is just... ridiculous. Oi! You're wrecking the place! And my landlord is... not a nice man. Where do you think you're going?

(The other robot goes up the stairs.)

ROBOT 2: Residents will stay in their rooms.
BELINDA: Don't tell me he needs the toilet.
ROBOT: Missbelindachandra?
BELINDA: What?
ROBOT: You are Missbelindachandra?
BELINDA: How do you know my name?
ROBOT: Name confirmed. Your Majesty.

(Bright blue tick on its chest display screen.)

BELINDA: Your what now?
ROBOT: You will come with us.
BELINDA: What if I don't?

(It zaps the cat to ashes.)

BELINDA: Oh. You killed the cat.
ROBOT: The cat is irrelevant.
BELINDA: It wasn't my cat.
ROBOT: The cat is still irrelevant.
BELINDA: What do you want me for?
ROBOT: We come from the star Missbelindachandra. We need you as our Queen.
BELINDA: What do you mean, the star Belinda...?

(The second robot holds out the Star Certificate it has retrieved from her bedroom. The first takes the certificate from its frame, it tears in the top right corner.)

ROBOT: Missbelindachandra.
BELINDA: Oh, you are kidding me.

[Belinda's Garden]

(Being escorted between the two robots when the elderly next door neighbour comes out in her dressing gown.)

MRS FLOOD: Belinda? What's going on?
BELINDA: Do you know Lucy at Number 7?
MRS FLOOD: Yes.
BELINDA: Tell her her cat's gone to live on a farm. Apparently, I'm the queen of outer space, if you could tell the police. And my mum and dad... Oh, my poor mum and dad. Tell them robots are kidnapping me. Tell them I love them.
MRS FLOOD: Oh, take care, Belinda. Bye, bye!
ROBOT: Transmat initiated.
BELINDA: They're beaming me up!

(Then the rocket takes off. The Doctor runs through the house.)

DOCTOR: Belinda! Belinda!
MRS FLOOD: (to us as she hides behind the hedge) You ain't seen me.
DOCTOR: Belindaaaa...!

[Rocket ship]

(The TARDIS is in pursuit of the rocket ship. Belinda is strapped into a seat, holding the certificate.)

BELINDA: You haven't even got the right person. It's Alan that bought this thing. Mister Alan Daniel Budd. Go and get him. I haven't seen him in 16 years. I think he moved to Margate. Tell him he owes me 50 quid! And what's that thing?

(She has spotted the TARDIS.)

COMPUTER: Descent in 500 cycles.
BELINDA: Can someone tell me what the hell is going on? (Time juddering) It was Alan... A-A-A-Alan Daniel Bu-Bu-Budd... Six... Fift-Fift... Sixteen years... Fifty qu-qu-quid! Go and get him! Da-Da-Daniel Budd! And what's tha-that thing?

[TARDIS]

(Same juddering effect in the TARDIS.)

DOCTOR: Wha-a-a-a-a-a... ..a-a-t? Oh. That's complicated things.

[Rocket ship]

COMPUTER: Entering orbit of Missbelindachandra One.
BELINDA: A planet called Belinda.

[Walkway]

(They are met on a walkway running from the rocket's tiny landing pad, above the city.)

BELINDA: Oh, thank God. Someone to talk to. Do me a favour and ask your robots to lay off, will you?
SASHA 55: Welcome to Missbelindachandraville.
BELINDA: Don't you start.
SASHA 55: I stand as People's Representative. My name is Sasha 55, and on behalf of all Missbelindachandrakind, I bid welcome to our one true Queen...
BELINDA: Yes, sure, but could you just tell these goons...
SASHA 55: ..and we obey our Robot Overlords in all things.
BELINDA: What?
SASHA 55: Our Robot Overlords. The Missbelindachandrabots.
BELINDA: So they're in charge?
SASHA 55: All praise the Robots.

(Objects fly overhead. Belinda ducks.)

BELINDA: Is that...? What's happening?
SASHA 55: Rebels in the North Zone started a riot. So the Robots are unleashing Missbelindachandrabombs.

(Distant screams.)

BELINDA: They're killing them?
SASHA 55: The Robots must be obeyed. (sotto) Please help us.

[Throne room]

(Two lines of identically clad people wait. A little bot rushes around.)

SCOOT: Polish polish.
ROBOT: The pathway for Missbelindachandra must be cleaned and polished.
SCOOT: Polish polish.
BELINDA: Right. Thanks.
SCOOT: Polish polish.
BELINDA: Right...
SCOOT: Polish polish.
ROBOT: Missbelindachandra, proceed towards the Throne of the Queen.
SCOOT: Polish polish. Polish polish. Polish polish.

(The Doctor is in one of the lines of people. Belinda is enthroned.)

BELINDA: And what happens now?
ROBOT: The Planet Missbelindachandra One will celebrate your royal wedding.
ALL: Congratulations to Your Majesty.
BELINDA: What do you mean, wedding? Who am I marrying? A spark plug?
ROBOT: The Great AI Generator. Behold!

(A screen shows a giant robotic head. Its right eye is green, the left one red and slightly closed)

AI [on screen]: Attention, citizens of Missbelindachandra One. Be warned. No help is coming. You will surrender and genuflect to me.
ROBOT: The AI Generator knows no pity. No kindness. No mercy.
BELINDA: And you want me to marry it?
ROBOT: It demands union. Behold.
AI [on screen]: The Binding Contract of the Stars may yet save the people. The Robots will bring her to me so metal and skin may weld within Miss Belinda Chandra.

(The Star Certificate is held out for her to see, the Doctor takes a sneaky sonic scan of it.)

BELINDA: Weld?
ROBOT: Queen and Machine combined. Behold!

(An animated presentation on the screen shows Belinda welding with the robot)

AI BELINDA [on screen]: I obey the machine.
BELINDA: I'm saying no.
ROBOT: With regret, your powers are only nominal. Enforced wedlock will commence.
BELINDA: Why is it all so mad? Why's everything on this planet so stupid?
SASHA 55: If I may? I think our Designated Historian might explain.
ROBOT: He may speak.

DOCTOR: Once upon a time, the planet was united, listen. The Robots and people lived together in peace, to. But then, ten years ago, it all changed, me. Because on that day, the Robot Revolution arose, please.
BELINDA: What?
DOCTOR: Thank you for listening attentively to my story. Careful.
BELINDA: Okay.
DOCTOR: The AI Generator evolved and achieved perfection. Robots. It told its soldiers to conquer all life. Faulty. No one knows why. It remains a mystery. Cannot. So the mighty Robots marched across the world. Hear. People fought back but they are weak flesh. Every. They begged for kindness and hoped for peace. Ninth. But then the AI Generator conquered them. Word.
DOCTOR [flashback]: Robots - faulty - cannot - hear - every - ninth - word.
BELINDA: So... Thank you very much. Very, very much. Gotcha.
DOCTOR: I am very grateful for your infinite wisdom. Good. With the people subjugated, the Generator looked out. Rebels.
BELINDA: Rebels...
DOCTOR: It sought for the original Miss Belinda Chandra. Fight. And so it looked to the planet Earth. Back. It beheld the creator, and brought you here. Very. It knew metal and flesh must finally unite. Soon.

(The people take weapons from their waistbands beind their backs. The Robots look around.)

BELINDA: This is a fact. And then another fact. When?
DOCTOR: I can confirm, your Highness, the time... is now!

(The people start shooting, the Doctor runs forwards and grabs Belinda.)

BELINDA: Oh, my God!
ROBOT: Eliminate all rebels!

(More robots arrive. The Doctor and Belinda take cover.)

ROBOT: Vaporise!
REBEL [OC]: Concentrate your fire!

(One robot blows up. A rebel is killed.)

ROBOT: Destroy! Vaporise! Vaporise!

(More rebels abseil in, one dies.)

ROBOT: Destroy!

(One of the new rebels fires a harpoon through a robot.)

MANNY: Rebels! Come on!
SASHA 55: Over there, now!
DOCTOR: Come on.
REBEL: Fall back! Fall back!
ROBOT: Vaporise!
DOCTOR: Belinda! Belinda, my name is the Doctor, and I will get you out of here.
BELINDA: You're not doing a very good job!
SASHA 55: I swear you can trust this man. He came to us as a stranger and in just six months, I have learnt to trust him with my life. Take her home, Doctor. Then take me to the stars.
DOCTOR: That is a date.
SASHA 55: The Delta Exit. I'll cover you, Doctor. Now take her and run!

(Sasha destroys one robot, then gets killed.)

DOCTOR: No!

(More robots enter.)

ROBOT: Queen Belinda will surrender to us.
BELINDA: Doctor, we have to get out of here!

(More rebels are killed, and the polishing bot goes berserk.)

[Corridor]

BELINDA: But we're trapped.
DOCTOR: Come on! We're charging up!

(The harpoon hero comes, helping a wounded rebel.)

MANNY: They've all gone, all of them. I'm sorry, Doctor. We lost them.
BELINDA: Doctor!
SCOOT: Polish polish.

(The Doctor transmats them away.)

[Rebel base]

BELINDA: But...? What is it...?
DOCTOR: Come on. Eyes!

(He destroys the transmat.)

DOCTOR: Stops them following.
MANNY: You'd better be worth it.
BELINDA: Excuse me.
DOCTOR: Okay...
BELINDA: It's not my fault! None of this is my fault, mate!
DOCTOR: Okay!
BELINDA: Don't shush me!

(The Doctor turns away and cries.)

BELINDA: I'm sorry about your friend.
DOCTOR: Sasha.
BELINDA: Sasha 55. She was nice to me.
DOCTOR: She was lovely. She's dead. Right.
SCOOT: Polish polish. Polish polish.
DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Little fella. I am sorry, babes. The Robots could track you down and find us. You have got to go... off. Sorry.

(Switches the little bot off, and kisses it.)

DOCTOR: Now, then, Miss Belinda Chandra, we have got a world to overthrow.

(They go through to the main area, where the wounded are being treated.)

DOCTOR: Welcome to the North Zone. It's interesting, that diploma from the Star Register. If I'm right, that thing is dangerous.
BELINDA: Excuse me, is this IV? Do you have basic IV? Is it fluids or medicine?
SHAGO: That's simolin. It's fluid.
BELINDA: Okay. Er, it's empty. Can I replace it?
SHAGO: Help yourself. Simolin, IV kits, sanferric over there. Disinfect with mylos. Your Majesty.
BELINDA: Simolin. Mylos. Got it. I was supposed to be starting a new shift on Monday.
DOCTOR [memory]: Mundy-Mundy-Mundy-Mundy Flynn. I'm an ordained Anglican Marine.

(The Doctor is remembering Mundy Flynn)

BELINDA: What, happy watching? Some things don't change. There's always a doctor standing back while the nurses do all the hard work. So, what's your name? Doctor what?
DOCTOR: Just the Doctor.
BELINDA: What, you're actually called the Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
BELINDA: All right, then. I'm called the Nurse.
DOCTOR: Doctor and Nurse. Good team.
BELINDA: Now let's take a look at you, sweetheart.

(The surface is still being attacked.)

BELINDA: How about you, darling? Has anyone had a chance to look at you?
SCOLEY: I'm okay. They said it's a dislocated shoulder.
BELINDA: Okay. Doctor, are shoulders on this planet the same as back on Earth?
DOCTOR: More or less.
SCOLEY: It doesn't matter. There's people in a worse state than me. Ah!

(Shoulder wrenched back into its socket.)

BELINDA: Just, er, give it a good rest for a couple of hours, okay?
SCOLEY: Thanks.

(She puts a blanket over him.)

BELINDA: Okay. Oh, my God! It's like...
DOCTOR: X-ray blankets.
BELINDA: X-ray blankets?
DOCTOR: Radiation-free. And look, the main difference between humans and Missbelindachandrakind. Instead of the kidneys and the liver, all the detox is carried out here in an organ called the pasculum.
BELINDA: It's like a second diaphragm.
DOCTOR: Exactly. The diaphragm kind of protects it like a sheath.
BELINDA: Is that better or worse than humans?
DOCTOR: If you start deciding which body is best, you're going down a very dangerous path.
BELINDA: That's the truest thing I've heard all day.
DOCTOR: And hey...

(He holds a blanket up over his chest.)

DOCTOR: Ta-da!
BELINDA: Have you got two hearts?
DOCTOR: Padam, padam.
BELINDA: No way. Can I...? Do you mind if I...?

(She listens to his chest.)

BELINDA: Wow! That's... that's so weird. But the pasculum man, he hasn't got two hearts.
DOCTOR: No, no, no. I'm not Missbelindachandrakind. I'm from a different planet.
BELINDA: Okay. Another alien. Add it to the list. So, what are you doing here?
DOCTOR: I came for you.
BELINDA: Why?
DOCTOR: I was told about you, by someone. It's kind of a long story, and I've got to be careful about timelines. But he told me your name, like you would be important.
BELINDA: But I'm not. I'm really not. I just don't get it. Why me?

(Looking at what the AI Generator was holding up, on a screen.)

DOCTOR: Do you see? The problem is that. The diploma. Have you got yours?
BELINDA: The original?
DOCTOR: Ah ha. But the AI Generator has got the same thing.
BELINDA: Yeah. So it's got a copy.
DOCTOR: It's not a copy. It is the exact same diploma. Look. It's older, obviously, because it's been here longer, but it's got the same exact tear, do you see?
BELINDA: Just like mine.
DOCTOR: Ah ha. It's the same object twice.
BELINDA: Do you mean it's literally the same diploma, like in a time-travel way?
DOCTOR: Timey-wimey.
BELINDA: Timey-wimey?
DOCTOR: Yup.
BELINDA: Am I six?
DOCTOR: But it's fascinating. Cos I have waited for you for a long time, Belinda. And yet, when you were taken by the Robots, I was at your house. When was that for you?
BELINDA: Er, I don't know, it's been... two hours?
DOCTOR: It was six months ago, for me. I saw the rocket. I was in your garden.
BELINDA: Wait, you were at my house?
DOCTOR: Yes, and I chased you, I followed you, but when you were on board the rocket, did you have a blip? Did you feel...a schwup?
BELINDA [memory]: Six-six-six-six-sixteen years!
BELINDA: No, I-I did, yes, it all went schwup! We schwupped.
DOCTOR: It was the fracture. In time.
BELINDA: Which means?
DOCTOR: Everything is out of sync. The border between this world and Earth keeps jumping about in time. So you left Earth May the 24th, 2025. I followed you. But when I landed...
DOCTOR [memory]: Hello, Robots!
DOCTOR: ..Robots impounded my spaceship.
DOCTOR [memory]: No, please, stop, I can help!

(As he is rescued by rebels.)

MANNY [memory]: Get back.
DOCTOR: So I've been living down here in the Undercity for six months. And I met Sasha, and she looked after me.
BELINDA: I'm sorry.
MANNY: Yeah, she was, er... Sasha was the best, and she died. Helping you.
DOCTOR: It is not Belinda's fault!
BELINDA: Hey, I don't need you to fight my battles, thank you. And it's not my fault, okay?
MANNY: Is that an order from the Queen? Is that a royal decree? You're as bad as the Robots.
DOCTOR: Okay. That's Manny. He's good, I swear. I'm sorry. So! I have been living here with the rebels, trying to help. It's taken me a long time to get promoted to Historian so that I could finally be let into the throne room for the day of your arrival.
BELINDA: At least someone's glad to see me.
DOCTOR: Worth the wait. And the problem isn't you. It is that diploma. Because you've always had that, yeah?
BELINDA: Yeah, it was on the wall. I mean, it didn't mean anything.
DOCTOR: The Robots must have got it from the future. But when they brought it back to this planet...
BELINDA: It went schwup.
DOCTOR: Ah ha.
BELINDA: Back to the past.
DOCTOR: Gotcha! But it travelled further than six months. It went back 5,000 years and became a foundation myth.
BELINDA: But I've seen films. When you get two versions of the same thing crossing over in time, don't they explode?
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes! If you get the same atoms in the same space twice, the Laws of Time say no. Kaboom! I think I'll take this, and I'll keep it very safe.
BELINDA: So is this, like, your job? Are you some sort of Time Detective?
DOCTOR: Ha! No. Er...

(Big explosion.)

MANNY: Incoming!
DOCTOR: Everybody on the supports! Move!

(The nurses go to shield the patients.)

BELINDA: (to Scoley) It's okay, it's okay.
MANNY: Take cover!
DOCTOR: Manny, hold the roof!
MANNY: This is all your fault, Queen Belinda.

(Later, Belinda goes to the deactivated polishing bot, and switches it on.)

MANNY [OC]: All right, Shago, protect the medical supplies, move them to the West Bay. Stack them under the archway. Seth, get a list of injuries. We need to prop up the North Wall. We need ballast, we need sandbags, we need liquid cement.
BELINDA: Stay there.
SCOOT: Polish polish. Polish polish.

(Back in the main area.)

DOCTOR: I need to get to the Memory Banks. I told Sasha that that's the key.
MANNY: That's... that's top security. It's guarded by a full Robot Phalanx.
DOCTOR: It'll have a record of what went wrong. Because the people and the Robots have a great big long history. You have been friends for centuries, and then it all changed, in one night, ten years ago. But why?
MANNY: Wait. Wait a minute. They've found us!
DOCTOR: Belinda, we need to get you out.
BELINDA: I did this.
DOCTOR: Manny! Manny, grab the documents. Belinda, go with Shago.
SHAGO: This way!
BELINDA: No! I'm telling you, I did this.

(Robots blast their way in.)

ROBOT: Rebels, you will surrender.
BELINDA: Everyone, guns down! They've come for me. Manny, put your gun down. Right now.
MANNY: You betrayed us!
BELINDA: I'm saving you.
DOCTOR: Bel. What have you done?
BELINDA: I'm sorry. But people are dying, and it is my fault. Because my name is Miss Belinda Chandra. And it's about time I owned it.
DOCTOR: Belinda...
ROBOT: Silence!
DOCTOR: B...
ROBOT: Let her speak.
BELINDA: Robots! Now listen to the words of your Queen. Leave these people alone. Take me.

[AI Generator chamber]

AI: Queen of our great planet. Your heart may beg and weep, but I will bring elevation to you.
DOCTOR: But hold on! Can I just say? Boss? If you leave Belinda alone and you weld with me, you will get a much better result.
AI: You are the Historian. You will witness events, not participate.
DOCTOR: But she won't survive the process.
AI: You will be silent!
BELINDA: It's okay. Cos once I'm part of the machine, I can talk to it. Maybe I can lead it towards peace.
AI: The ceremony will begin!
SCOOT: Polish polish. Polish polish. Polish polish. Polish polish.
BELINDA: All right, little fella. I don't think you want to be a part of this. But thank you. Off you go.
SCOOT: Polish polish! Polish polish. Polish polish.
AI: Conversion will be a world without sadness or pity. You will achieve serenity, peace and joy, with me.
DOCTOR: Serenity, peace and joy...
BELINDA: What do I do?
ROBOT: Approach the Great AI Generator.
BELINDA: I'm doing this for you, remember? Once I'm gone, stop the war.
ROBOT: We will honour you and remember your sacrifice, Missbelindachandra.
BELINDA: Okay. Just... remember me as Belinda. You can drop the Miss. I never liked it anyway. I said to Alan that night, "Who says Miss?"
AI: Are you married?
BELINDA: What?
DOCTOR: What? AI: Are you married?
BELINDA: But that's what he said.
DOCTOR: Who did?
BELINDA: Those were his exact words. Hold on. Are you...?
AI: At last, you know me.

(The Generator casing opens to reveal a humanoid cyborg.)

ALAN: Belinda, beloved, behold!
BELINDA: Alan?
DOCTOR: It's not AI. It's Al.
BELINDA: Alan Budd?
ALAN: Belinda.
BELINDA: Oh, my God. Alan, are you all right?
ALAN: I am... supreme.
BELINDA: But that must hurt.
ALAN: I am beyond pain.
BELINDA: I don't understand. For God's sake, Alan, what are you doing here? I thought you moved to Margate.
ALAN: Stargate.
BELINDA: But how did you end up...?
ALAN: They came for me.

(Memory of being in his room, playing a game on his computer, lava lamp lit, fictitious 50s style movie poster on the wall.)

ALAN [OC]: In the night.
ROBOT [memory]: You are Alan Budd?
ALAN [memory]: What the hell?
BELINDA: Oh, my God. It's my fault. I told them about Alan. I told them to...
BELINDA [on rocket]: Alan Daniel Budd. Go and get him!
DOCTOR: Okay. Ha. So the Robots went to get Alan, but to do that, they went through the Time Fracture.
BELINDA: They went schwup.
DOCTOR: So they went back...
ALAN: Ten long years ago.
DOCTOR: He landed before the Robot Revolution.
ALAN: I found happiness, beyond pain.
BELINDA: But you've been killing people.
DOCTOR: Because he loved it.

[Ten years ago]

(Leaving the rocket.)

ALAN: You mean... it's like a game? With robots and cities and lasers? And you're saying this is mine? I can make up the rules and win. Oh, give it to me!

(Being connected up in the generator chair.)

ALAN: I feel strong, like never before. I feel... power.
MINISTER: We welcome you to this world, Earthman. But I must confess, this Robot technology seems in advance of ours by a good... ten years? Do you mind if I ask...?
ALAN: I mind very much. Destroy him!

[AI Generator Chamber]

DOCTOR: You started the revolution.
BELINDA: But what for?
DOCTOR: Bel, why did you finish with him?
BELINDA: Because...

(Memory - back on that bench, Alan down on one knee.)

ALAN: And when we're married, I really don't think you should wear clothes that tight any more. Plus, no more texting after 8pm, okay?
BELINDA: Alan, sweetheart. No!

(And back to 'now'.)

BELINDA: Cos all you ever did was correct me. And tut, and huff, and roll your eyes and tell me off. Oh, my God, you've taken coercive control and made it complete control of the whole planet! How can you live with yourself?
DOCTOR: That's the point. He can't.
BELINDA: He's the king of the world!
DOCTOR: No. No. Every ninth word. Your brain interfaces with the machine on an eight-part loop. So every speech, every ninth word, your mind is free. Every ninth word is telling us the truth.
ALAN [flashback]: Help me. Save me. Pain.
ALAN: You were born to travel. Destined for me, Belinda. To the perfect wedding. Your mind subsumed within mine.
BELINDA: Planet of the incels.
ALAN: Say yes, Belinda, or the violence will rage forever.
DOCTOR: Alan, I can help you. I can separate the bio-links...
ALAN: No more words!
DOCTOR: Okay.
BELINDA: I'm sorry. I've got no choice.
DOCTOR: Belinda, he won't stop. His anger will go on and on.
ALAN: Face me! You will obey me. Belinda, now hold the diploma. My bride. Join with me in ecstasy and freedom.

(Belinda looks back at the Doctor, who takes his version of the diploma out of his pocket and drops it on the floor.)

SCOOT: Polish polish. Polish polish. Polish polish. Polish polish.

(Belinda takes this diploma out of the little bot's dust bag.)

BELINDA: I'm sorry.

(Alan holds out his diploma, and she touches it with hers. Schwup. The Doctor runs forward. When he grabs her, he is thrown away and so is human Alan. They are in the Time Fracture.)

DOCTOR: Bel!

(A series of flashes of Belinda and Alan at different ages in their lives, then the Doctor drags Belinda back into real time. She still has the diploma, and he is clutching his back.)

BELINDA: What happened?
DOCTOR: Ouch! Oh! Oh, you needed a Time Lord to take the kaboom! But wow! Oh, Bel, baby! Ha! I just went through your entire life like a bullet! The Time Fracture sent me like, whooosh! And Bels! Oh, you are... amazing, Belinda Chandra. You and me, we go back years.
BELINDA: But where's Alan? Where'd he go?

(Sonic scanning.)

DOCTOR: Er... I think...he is microscopic.
BELINDA: Do you mean...?
DOCTOR: He's a sperm and an egg.
SCOOT: Polish polish.
DOCTOR: Oh.
SCOOT: Polish polish.
DOCTOR: Oh!
SCOOT: Polish polish.
DOCTOR: Oh. Goodbye, Alan.

(They both laugh.)

BELINDA: This place is nuts.
DOCTOR: Yas, Queen!

[Walkway]

ROBOT: Robots, rejoice. Free from Alan Budd Generator, we will make reparations and live in harmony with the people to rebuild this world. Now, Doctor. Behold.

(A Robot is pushing the TARDIS along the walkway.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Oh-ho-ho, baby, gimme some! Mwah!
BELINDA: I saw that box in space. Is that your... TARDIS?

(Okay, who told her that?)

DOCTOR: Isn't she everything?
BELINDA: Well, I mean, it's going to be a tight fit with both of us.
DOCTOR: Babes, there's still a little bit of mystery left. Like, how did the Robots get ahold of this in the future?

(The older diploma.)

(Belinda counts on her fingers, nine words):

BELINDA: You, solve your mystery, after you've taken me home.
DOCTOR: Okay. Okay, okay, okay. You lot. Forgive. Rebuild. Maybe change the name of the solar system.
MANNY: Well, we thought we'd start with renaming this building, Doctor, in honour of those that we lost. This will now be the Citadel of Sasha 55.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
MANNY: And I've got to say, all praise to you, Queen Belinda of Planet Earth.
ROBOT: All hail Belinda, Queen of Planet Earth.
ALL: All hail Belinda, Queen of Planet Earth.
BELINDA: Thank you. And good luck.
DOCTOR: Lovely. Let's go, okay? Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go.

[TARDIS]

BELINDA: Oh, now this is ridiculous.

(She steps back outside to address the crowd.)

BELINDA: If you thought this was mad... That is mad.

(She comes back in.)

DOCTOR: It is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
BELINDA: Yeah, I know. Now get me home. 24th of May, 2025. My shift starts at 7.30am, thank you very much.
DOCTOR: Yeah, but we don't need to rush, cos... Time Lord, time machine.

(He puts the diploma into a cylinder and inserts it in the console.)

BELINDA: This is a time machine?
DOCTOR: Boom! Because there is something already connecting us, Belinda, way beyond Robots. I have been to the future, and I have met your descendant on a planet far away, in the 51st century. Her name was Mundy Flynn.
BELINDA: Did she look like me?
DOCTOR: Absolute match.
BELINDA: The 51st century? You're saying... 3,000 years' time? Is that supposed to be a coincidence?
DOCTOR: Well, that is what I am worried about.

(He scans her and uploads the results.)

DOCTOR: Cos the genetic link is amazing. Is that just chance, or something more? Cos I can't help thinking, Bel, that maybe we are meant to be connected.
BELINDA: Like this is destiny? Is that what you say to all the girls? Is that what you said to Sasha? She trusted you, and she died. And you tested my DNA without even asking my permission. God. You're dangerous.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry. Inexcusable. With both hearts, I apologise.
BELINDA: I am not one of your adventures. Now I'm asking you, Doctor, to do the right thing.
DOCTOR: I will take you home.
BELINDA: Thank you.

(He pulls a lever and they hang on to the console.)

BELINDA: Well, that was quick. Are we there?
DOCTOR: No! No, er, we're...

(He tries again and again and again.)

BELINDA: Is this how it works? Do we just kind of... bounce our way home?
DOCTOR: Something is wrong. Like we are being repelled. We are bouncing off May the 24th, and that is impossible.

(He opens the TARDIS door. They are in space.)

DOCTOR: That is all wrong.
BELINDA: Oh, my God, we're in space.
DOCTOR: Halfway between Missbelindachandra and Planet Earth.
BELINDA: Is that cos of the Time Fracture?
DOCTOR: No. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, I closed that. This is... this is... this... this is...

(Shuts the TARDIS door.)

DOCTOR: I don't know what this is. Let's see. Right, er... Right.

(He tries again and again. The Cloister Bell starts tolling.)

DOCTOR: Oh! Something is stopping us! Something is bouncing us off Planet Earth on the day that we left. But why?
BELINDA: Doctor, I told you. Get me home!
DOCTOR: I am.
BELINDA: You are not!
DOCTOR: Oh, this might be the long way round, Miss Belinda Chandra, but hold on tight. Because this is going to be quite a ride.

(The TARDIS dematerialises. A London black cab floats into view, along with le Tour d'Eiffel or Blackpool Tower, part of the Statue of Liberty, lots of wreckage, the original framed Star Certificate/diploma and the page from a calendar with everything up to and including 23rd May 2025 crossed off.)

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.