I put this on in the car and gave up after 10 minutes, it was hard to make out the voices, so it seemed best to try at home with earphones. It was no better. Some of the dialogue is indecipherable, and I did consider just giving up. The related issue is that in consentrating so hard to make out what was said, I didn't get much of the plot - what there was of it.

A Sea Devil colony of on the planet Chosan is where Benny heads to in this audio. Chosan was the setting for a story in seres 2 - a terrorist threat means Benny is sent there with meeting an old friend as cover.

As I said at the start, trying to make out what the Sea Devils were saying made it hard work following the plot. But I feel even then there wasn't much to it.

There's a monologue by Benny towards the ends where she reflects on her life, though its quite nice It feels out of place. Just a pause in the proceeding.

Bland with nothing to grip me, is all I can say.

Bernice Summerfield

#4.03. The Poison Seas ~ 1/10

◆ An Introduction

Following on from that anxiety inducing masterpiece, we have an adventure with the aquatic variants of Homo Reptilia. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh right… this is written by David Bailey, and is a pseudo-sequel to ‘The Secret of Cassandra’.

My expectations are truly through the floor now!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

Professor Bernice Summerfield's life has never been what you could call simple. But, just as she really feels like things at the Braxiatel Collection might be settling down to some sort of normality, she is sent away from the comforts of home on a mission for the Earth Reptile Council.

Bernice has visited the planet Chosan before, so she seems the ideal candidate to intervene when a Sea Devil colony there comes under threat from a terrorist cell. Under cover of visiting an old friend, Bernice sets out to learn who is working in league with the terrorists to ensure the eradication of the colony.

But as she delves deeper under the oceans of Chosan, she discovers that something else – something much more ancient and powerful wants rid of the Sea Devils. Soon, every living thing on the planet is in peril. And all because there's no place like home…

◆ Prof. Bernice Summerfield

Lisa Bowerman’s performance here is… about as bland as you can get.

The last time Benny was on Chosan, she was knocked out, dragged to the cargo hold, and locked up with a living bomb. Why she ever thought this world would be a good place for a holiday, she’ll never know.

◆ Story Recap

Sent on another mission by Irving Braxiatel, Benny finds herself returning to the planet Chosan on an undercover counter-terrorism mission. It appears a xenophobic human named Carver is attempting to get the Sea Devils off her world, and that she has a contact in the enemy ranks.

That’s the least of Benny’s worries though… as the oceans of the planet appear to be alive, and are possessing the Devils!

◆ Migraine Inducing Waffle!

‘The Poison Seas’ comes to us from David Bailey, who previously created a nondescript adventure with giant bats, and another with the worlds most boring boat ride! This has got to be his worst contribution to BigFinish.

You can definitely make a dialogue heavy story work, but the dialogue itself needs to be interesting and have some personality – that’s why ‘The Green-Eyed Monsters’ is currently my favourite story in this range. The issue with Bailey’s script is that the dialogue is abysmal, and 90% of the runtime is just me receiving a migraine from the Sea Devil voices chatting away to each other about nothing!

◆ Sound Design

I hope you enjoy the raspy, clicking voices of the Sea Devils, cause they do not stop talking in this adventure… and it managed to give me a headache within five minutes!

I like the Sea Devils, but their voices aren’t a great fit for audio – probably why BigFinish usually stick with their land-lubber cousins.

◆ Music

Imagine recycling the score from ‘Cryptobiosis’. This is incredibly lazy, and I honestly wish I was relistening to that story instead.

◆ Conclusion

“May this ocean drown you and consume you.”

I’ve come to the conclusion that I simply can’t stand David Bailey’s writing. ‘The Poison Seas’ left me with such a blinding migraine that it could easily be free advertising for Nurofen!

If you’re gonna create a story that’s light on action and heavy on dialogue, put some spice into said dialogue… because if I hear another Sea Devil talking, I genuinely think I’ll scream.

Basically fine overall but definitely a weaker story in the Benny range. The Sea Devil voice effects very jarring and hard to understand in places