The Lost Boy

Part One

[Maria's bedroom]

(Gazing out of the window at night )

MARIA: That shooting star could be a space rock. But it could be a ship. They might be friendly and they might not. Like the Slitheen. They wanted to drain our sun's energy and leave the Earth a dead ball of ice. But we stopped them. Sarah Jane, Luke, Clyde and me.
ALAN: I remember the blackout. The paper said it was a reversal of the Earth's magnetic something.
MARIA: That's what Mister Smith put into the news releases.
ALAN: Sarah Jane's computer. And which branch of PC World did that come from?
MARIA: He's alien. I don't know where from. Not sure if Sarah Jane knows.
ALAN: Right.
MARIA: Anyway, so, Clyde realised we could use vinegar as a weapon against the Slitheen.
CLYDE [memory]: You heard her!
MARIA: Most of them escaped, teleported back to the ship.
ALAN: Maria, you're fourteen.
MARIA: Dad, the world would have died.
ALAN: I'm your father. You never thought I should know about any of this?
MARIA: It was difficult, especially after you got turned to stone.
ALAN: Beg your pardon?
MARIA [memory]: Dad! Dad!
MARIA: There was this Gorgon, and
ALAN: Just give me a minute here.
MARIA: I know how you feel. I remember when I saw that alien in Sarah Jane's garden.

(Her father shushes her.)

ALAN: So, Sarah Jane used to fly around in space with this guy.
MARIA: The Doctor.
ALAN: And Luke's an alien?
MARIA: Not alien. He just isn't quite human. The Bane made him.
ALAN: This is serious stuff, Maria.
MARIA: You're not going to tell Mum, are you?
ALAN: Like she'd believe me. Like I'd believe me if I hadn't been bumping between alternate realities and seen us almost flattened by a meteor. No. I'm not going to tell your mother. Tomorrow morning I'm putting this house on the market.
MARIA: What? You can't!
ALAN: This isn't kids' stuff, Maria. It's dangerous. We're going to have to move.

[Attic]

(A remarkably Un-light polluted sky for urban London, with lots of stars visible.)

SARAH JANE: There, just below Bellatrix, on Orion's shoulder. You see, Luke? That's where they'll come.

(Maria runs in.)

MARIA: Sarah Jane! Dad says we're moving! He says I can't have anything to do with you. He says it's too dangerous.
LUKE: Well, it is dangerous.
MARIA: That's not the point.
SARAH JANE: No parent wants to see their child in danger, Maria. I know your father has a lot to worry about than most dads. You can't blame him for wanting to keep you safe.
MARIA: But if you talk to him.
SARAH JANE: I don't know what would I say.
MARIA: Tell him about the magic. How wonderful it is, the universe.
ALAN: Perhaps it is. You said it, Maria. It's not all sparkling stars and moonlight.
MARIA: Yeah, well, sometimes things from space are evil and scary, but how's that so different from here on Earth? And sometimes things from space are amazing and beautiful, and you realise how incredible it all is. We're part of something so much bigger than living here on Bannerman Road. Life is so much more than most people will ever know. And I've been really lucky, Dad. I've seen that and I can't give it up.
ALAN: This is too much to take in.
SARAH JANE: That's the universe, Alan. Once it's chosen to show you its some of its secrets, you can't ever turn your back on it. None of us can.
ALAN: No. I suppose not. I've got a lot to get used to, haven't I?
SARAH JANE: The Kalazian Lights are about to appear! The last time they were visible from Earth was four thousand years ago. The universe is smiling on us tonight.
ALAN: Let's hope it always does.

[Police press conference]

JAY: It's been five months since we saw Ashley, but we pray every night that he's out there somewhere, unharmed, and that he'll come back to us soon.
HEIDI: If you're out there, Ashley, just call your mum and dad. Please.

[Lounge]

(Luke is reading while the press conference is on the television.)

SARAH JANE: If the human race is going to survive climate change, you're going to have to give it a hand. Not to mention my electricity bill. What have you done with the remote?
HEIDI [on TV]: If you can't have children of your own

[Maria's kitchen]

HEIDI [on TV]: If that's why you've taken him, because you're lonely, how do you think I feel without my angel boy?
MARIA: They look worried sick.
ALAN: You're right, love. There's things here on Earth that make your blood run cold, never mind from outer space.
JAY [on TV]: If anybody knows where Ashley is, please, contact the police. Please.
ALAN: Isn't that Luke?

[Lounge]

SARAH JANE: No, it can't be. Luke, it's you.
TV: The police are stepping up their campaign.
MUM [on TV]: Whoever's got him, you might think you're caring for him, you might think you love him, but he belongs with us, his mum and dad.
LUKE: But you're my mum.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, I need you, more than ever.
MR SMITH: I have been monitoring the news.
SARAH JANE: It can't be true. Luke was created by the Bane to absorb human brain patterns. Did they model him on this missing boy? Is that it?
MR SMITH: There's only one way to be certain. I need to scan Luke.
LUKE: No! The Bane made me.
LUKE [OC]: I don't remember anyone or anything before I woke up in the Bane's laboratory. Then I met Maria.
MARIA [memory]: Hello.
LUKE [memory]: Er, hello.
LUKE [OC]: And I met you.
SARAH JANE [memory]: What are you doing here?
MARIA [memory]: I could ask you the same.
SARAH JANE [memory]: Who's he? What have they done to you?
SARAH JANE: It's all right, Luke, but we have to be sure.
MR SMITH: This won't hurt at all, Luke.

(Mister Smith compares the two boys.)

SARAH JANE: Well?
MR SMITH: I am assessing. My assessment is complete. My cellular scan and DNA cross-reference with available medical records for Ashley Stafford are concluded.
SARAH JANE: And?
MR SMITH: I have a comprehensive genetic match.
LUKE: What?
MR SMITH: Luke and Ashley Stafford are the same person.
SARAH JANE: No, there must be some mistake.
MR SMITH: I don't make mistakes. That is a human trait.
LUKE: The Bane made me! You know they did!
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, this doesn't make any sense. Luke was never born. He doesn't have a navel.
MR SMITH: Bane society, being egg born, find the navel crude and offensive. They would have surgically removed it at the time he was programmed as the Archetype.
LUKE: But you're my mum.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, is there any chance at all?
MR SMITH: Chances of DNA mismatch, approximately four billion to one.

[Maria's home]

CHRISSIE: What did I say? I told you there was something not right about Contrary Jane and that so-called son of hers.
MARIA: It's a mistake. It can't be Luke.
CHRISSIE: Oh, and why's that?
MARIA: It just can't.
CHRISSIE: Well, let's let the police make up their minds about that, shall we?
ALAN: The police?
MARIA: Mum, you never called the police?
CHRISSIE: I've told you time and time again, there's something wrong with that woman. I can smell it on her.

(A police car arrives outside number 13.)

MARIA: Mum, no!
CHRISSIE: I've told you, she's a weirdo. You'll see.

[Lounge]

POLICEMAN: Sarah Jane Smith?
SARAH JANE: He's here. Will you just give me a minute, please?

[Lounge]

LUKE: What's going to happen?
SARAH JANE: Well, I expect the police will take us to the station. They'll question me, and you'll see your parents again. Your real parents.
LUKE: So why can't I remember them? I know all sorts of things. Quantum theory, Magnusark's Law of Hyperdimensional Relativity. I can remember every page of every book I've ever read. So why can't I remember them?
SARAH JANE: I wish I had all the answers, Luke. I know this is difficult. You must know I do. But this isn't a bad day. Mister and Mrs Stafford, your real parents, they love you.
LUKE: But don't you love me?
SARAH JANE: Of course I do. But you don't belong with me, Luke. Your mum and dad have spent months searching for you. The Bane took you away and broke their hearts. Today is the most wonderful day in their lives. They're going to get you back, and you are going to be an ordinary human boy with parents that care for you and won't ever let anything bad happen to you again, the way I never could. And it's the best day of your life, too. You'll see.

[Bannerman Road]

CLYDE: So it's right then? It is Luke.
MARIA: Wake up, Clyde. How can it be Luke?
CLYDE: What, you mean the belly button?
CHRISSIE: Look, it's the mum and dad.
SARAH JANE: Don't be nervous, Luke. It's going to be okay. They're your real parents.
CHRISSIE: Here she comes, Calamity Jane.
HEIDI: Ashley! Ashley!
SARAH JANE: Everything's going to be fine, I promise.
HEIDI: Ashley! Oh, thank God. Thank God you're all right! Oh my baby! My beautiful baby boy!
LUKE: Are you really my mother? Was I born from your womb?
HEIDI: Ashley, what are you? Of course I'm your mother.
MAN: Don't you remember us, son?
LUKE: No.
HEIDI: What have you done to him, you witch!

(Mrs Stafford tries to attack Sarah.)

INSPECTOR: Mrs Stafford, please!
MARIA: Mum, this is all your fault.
CHRISSIE: Me? I don't go round kidnapping young boys and passing them off as my own.
ALAN: Chrissie, for goodness sake.
SARAH JANE: I haven't harmed him. I swear to you, I wouldn't. I, Luke, Ashley, he had an accident. He lost his memory. I had no idea he had parents looking for him.
MAN: What, you thought the fairies had left him, did you? You make me sick!
INSPECTOR: I think we'd better talk this down through at the station, don't you, Miss Smith?
MARIA: Dad, they're arresting her. Do something.
CHRISSIE: You wait till it gets to court. It'll all come out. Goodness knows what secrets she's been hiding.
ALAN: Just leave it, Chrissie. There's nothing we can do, darling.
LUKE: Mum, no!
SARAH JANE: (in the police car) I love you.
JAY: Come on. Let's get you home, yeah?

[Interview room]

INSPECTOR: It seems you've got powerful friends, Miss Smith.
SARAH JANE: My friends have nothing to do with it. I've done nothing wrong.
INSPECTOR: I know a cover-up when I smell one.
SARAH JANE: Nevertheless, Chief Inspector, I assume your attitude means I'm free to go.
INSPECTOR: You can go. But don't go near that boy again.

[Stafford home]

MAN: In you go, son.
HEIDI: Home sweet home.
MAN: We've got Spurs on Wednesday, Ashley.
LUKE: Spurs?
JAY: Yeah, you and me, pizza and cokes, watching the match. Come on, Lampard, eh? Football. You remember football, don't you?
LUKE: I don't like football.
HEIDI: Don't like?

(She picks up a photograph of Luke/Ashley in a football shirt.)

HEIDI: What did that woman do to him?

(Later, picking the green peppers off a takeaway spicy pizza.)

LUKE: I suppose I used to like peppers as well, did I? I'm tired. I'd like to go to my room now, please.

(Luke gets locked in.)

TV: Some people get concerned about pruning their plants. You shouldn't be. All plants want to do is grow. If you cut back too much

(Mum changes the channel to one that fills the room with green light.)

HEIDI: Xylok, are you there? We've got the boy.

[Lounge]

MARIA: Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: Luke has gone. Back to his parents, where he belongs. And they are his parents. Mister Smith confirmed it. The Bane kidnapped him, did things to him. I got it wrong. Not for the first time.
MARIA: I'm really sorry.
SARAH JANE: No, it's for the best. I'm not cut out for being a parent. Children have no place in my life.
MARIA: You don't mean that.
SARAH JANE: I told you when we met, my life is dangerous. I can't afford to have other people to worry about. They're a distraction, they make you make mistakes. These past few months, I've been lucky. I can't expect that to hold up forever.
MARIA: What are you saying?
SARAH JANE: Go home. You tell your dad he was right. He should put the house on the market. And he, and you and Clyde should forget about me and everything you've seen.
MARIA: What? How are we going to do that? What happened to never turning your back on the universe?
SARAH JANE: Sometimes you have to. Sometimes it's the only way to survive.

[Attic]

(Mister Smith emerges from the fireplace.)

MR SMITH: Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: I didn't call you.
MR SMITH: Perhaps you don't realise that you need me.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, well, I don't. Not tonight.
MR SMITH: You need a purpose, Sarah Jane. All things in the universe need a purpose. Without purpose, we cease to be.
SARAH JANE: What are you talking about, Mister Smith?
MR SMITH: I've been monitoring experiments at the Pharos Parascience Institute.
SARAH JANE: Look, I'm not really interested.
MR SMITH: They have been carrying out research in telekinetic energy.
SARAH JANE: Pharos was set up twenty years ago to study paranormal phenomena. They've been running experiments in mind over matter just as long.
MR SMITH: With little success. Now they have developed a way to harness telekinetic energy.
SARAH JANE: How?
MR SMITH: They are using alien technology.
SARAH JANE: Well then, maybe I should pay them a visit.
MR SMITH: My thoughts exactly.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, and this time I won't have any children to slow me down.

[Ashley's bedroom]

(Luke is getting dressed for school.)

JAY: Good morning, Ashley. Did you sleep well?
LUKE: Why did you lock my door?
JAY: You ran away once, remember?
LUKE: No. Why would I run away from home?
JAY: Well, since you've lost your memory, we'll never find out, will we? And you can forget about school. You're staying here.
LUKE: I want to see my friends.
JAY: Maria and Clyde?
LUKE: How do you know their names? I never mentioned them.
JAY: That don't matter. You won't see them again.

(He locks the door after him.)

[School cafeteria]

CLYDE: So that's it? No more monsters. No more saving the world.
MARIA: She's devastated about Luke.
CLYDE: She's not the only one hurting, is she? Where is Luke, anyway?
MARIA: His parents live in Hammersmith. I suppose Luke, Ashley, will be going back to his old school.
CLYDE: So that's the last we see of him, too? Man, I'd just got him listening to Kasabian. I was going to move on to Arctic Monkeys. Give me a couple of months and I could have had him passing for cool.
MARIA: Maybe Ashley is cool. Maybe he's a completely different person to Luke. The Bane must have really messed him about.
CLYDE: Yeah, well I bet finding out he's got a real mum and dad messed him up more.
MARIA: I hope he's all right.
CLYDE: Why don't we find out? They live in Hammersmith, right? Have you got the address?
MARIA: It was in the papers, I think.
CLYDE: Well, come on.
MARIA: The bell's going to go for lessons any minute.
CLYDE: Look, if my days of fighting aliens are over, it looks like sneaking off lessons is all the excitement I'm going to get.

[Outside the school building]

TEACHER: Maria Jackson, where do you think you are going?
MARIA: I was just going to the library, sir.
TEACHER: You're supposed to be in my French class. Depechez-vous.

(Clyde climbs over the fence.)

[Pharos Institute]

(A grand folly of a building in the middle of nowhere. Sarah Jane is being shown around by a smartly dressed woman.)

SARAH JANE: Thank you for seeing me, Professor Rivers.
CELESTE: Oh, the Pharos Institute doesn't get nearly enough media interest. Most people write off our researchers as cranks, but we are in good company. Galileo and Copernicus were both dismissed by their blinkered scientific contemporaries. This way, Miss Smith.
SARAH JANE: Of course, Galileo and Copernicus weren't carrying out experiments in the paranormal.
CELESTE: Ah, Sir Isaac Newton and Thomas Edison both had strong interests in the paranormal, Miss Smith.
SARAH JANE: It's your work into telekinesis that I'm particularly interested in.
CELESTE: Then you're in for a treat.
(They watch though a window as a man wearing a headset lifts a basketball by apparent power of thought alone. It takes a lot of effort.) SARAH JANE: It's incredible!
CELESTE: Oh, we're not done yet.
SARAH JANE: Oh, this is impossible. You can't possibly have

(The basketball zooms away.)

CELESTE: Unfortunately, we're having a little difficulty with our energy focus stabilisation. MITRE. Magnified Intensification of Telekinetic Reactive Energies. Those headsets take the latent raw psychic ability all humans possess to move objects with the power of thought and directs it.
SARAH JANE: Amazing! Who developed it?
CELESTE: Our child genius.

[Pharos lab]

(A boy is writing formulae on a whiteboard.)

CELESTE: Sarah Jane Smith, this is Nathan Goss.
SARAH JANE: Hello, Nathan. I'm pleased to meet you.
NATHAN: I'm working!
SARAH JANE: Oh, I'm sorry to disturb you. It looks very complex.
NATHAN: Don't waste your time or mine asking me to explain.
CELESTE: Miss Smith's a journalist. She wants to talk to you about MITRE.
NATHAN: You told her about MITRE? How stupid can you get?
CELESTE: Well, I'm sorry, Nathan, but your work is important. It needs recognition. And we need the funding. I thought
NATHAN: Get out! Leave me alone! And leave the thinking to somebody with the intelligence of actually doing something with it.
CELESTE: Miss Smith, I think we'd better just. Come on.
SARAH JANE: I used to know someone your age who could wipe the floor with your intelligence, Nathan. And wipe the floor with you, too.

(Sarah and Professor Rivers leave.)

NATHAN: We'll see about that.

[Stafford home]

(Clyde rings the doorbell.)

HEIDI: What do you want?
CLYDE: My name's Clyde. I'm a friend of Luke's. I mean Ashley's.
HEIDI: So?
CLYDE: Is he in? Can I see him?
HEIDI: No, times two. Now hop it.

(Clyde stops her closing the door on him.)

CLYDE: You don't much look like Ashley, do you, Mrs Stafford?
HEIDI: You trying to say he's not our Ashley? That Sarah Jane sent you?

(She shows Clyde a photograph.)

HEIDI: See? His birthday. Ashley, me and his dad. We gave him a skateboard.
CLYDE: Good was he, on a skateboard?
HEIDI: Stunning. So you take that photo and you show it to Sarah Jane Smith and you tell her my boy is back where he belongs!

(And slams the door in Clyde's face.)

[Ashley's bedroom]

LUKE: Clyde! Clyde, up here! Clyde!
(But Clyde can't hear him. Luke searches frantically for something useful.

(In the park, Clyde phones Maria.)

[Classroom]

MARIA: Sir, can I go to the toilet please?

[Playground]

MARIA: Clyde?

[Park]

CLYDE: Maria. This whole Luke and his folks thing stinks like a Christmas dinner fart. His so-called mum wouldn't let me see him and you know what she said they gave him? A skateboard. You've seen him on a skateboard. No sense of balance at all.

[Playground]

MARIA: After what the Bane did to him.

[Park]

CLYDE: I don't care what anyone did to him. You don't lose something like that. It's instinct. And they gave me this photo. It's of Luke and them at his birthday party.

[Playground]

MARIA: Well, that proves everything, doesn't it?

[Park]

CLYDE: Photos can be faked. I'm going to take it to Sarah Jane.

[Stafford home]

(Luke is about to pick the lock on his bedroom door when he hears voices downstairs.)

JAY: What are you doing here?
NATHAN: We have a problem.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Nathan Goss is a genius. He has an IQ of 195. He was reading quantum physics at the age of eight. Some call him the young Einstein. Others say his potential exceeds Einstein.
SARAH JANE: He's an obnoxious brat. But there's something else about him. Something that made my blood run cold.
MR SMITH: Despite his IQ, a telekinetic energiser such as MITRE is still beyond the genius of Nathan Goss.
SARAH JANE: It could make a terrible weapon.
MR SMITH: A destroyer of worlds, in the right hands, with the right mind.
SARAH JANE: Where did it come from?
MR SMITH: If I could analyse its composition, I could be definitive of its technology and origin.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, are you asking me to go back to Pharos and steal one of those headsets?
MR SMITH: It would be of great assistance.

[Stafford home]

NATHAN: Sarah Jane has seen the telekinetic energiser. The idiots gave her a demonstration.
JAY: She doesn't know anything.
NATHAN: She must know something, you gravy-brained moron, or she wouldn't have been in the lab, would she?
HEIDI: There's no need to talk to him like that.
NATHAN: This is my mission. I can talk to him anyway I like.

(Luke gets out of his room.)

JAY: The Xylok said she might come poking her nose in. It said it would take care of her.
NATHAN: The Xylok? Do you really think we can trust a Xylok?
HEIDI: The plan's too far advanced. She can't stop us. We've got the Bane's Archetype. We've got the boy!

(A stair creaks.)

NATHAN: What was that?

(Luke runs for the door and just gets outside, but the man drags him back inside.)

JAY: Gotcha. Get in there. Oh, these new slim-line flesh-suits, they might handle the gas exchanges better, but they're a bit on the snug side.

(He unzips his forehead.)

LUKE: You're Slitheen.

(The woman follows suit.)

LUKE: But you're skinny.
HEIDI: Amazing, isn't it? With this technology I can eat all I want and still be a size eight.
LUKE: And you?
NATHAN: What? Don't you remember me, Luke? How you killed my family and left me locked in a sealed room to die?
LUKE: Carl.

(Nathan/Carl unzips his forehead.)

NATHAN: Same Slitheen, different skin. I teleported out and survived. My father wasn't so fortunate. And now, I'm going to get my revenge.

[Bannerman Road]

(Sarah drives away as Clyde runs around the corner.)

CLYDE: Sarah Jane!

(Clyde gets the spare key from under the flower pot and lets himself in.)

[Attic]

CLYDE: Mister Smith, I need you.
MR SMITH: Clyde, what a pleasure.
CLYDE: What? Really? Oh, cool!
SMITH: You have something for me?
CLYDE: Yeah, as it happens. I've got this. It's a picture of Luke with that pair that reckon he's their kid. Only I think it's a fake, see? I thought you could do your analysing thing and
MR SMITH: You're right, Clyde. It is fake. I faked it.
CLYDE: You? Am I missing something here?
MR SMITH: More than you could ever imagine, Clyde.
CLYDE: What's going on?
MR SMITH: I am a Xylok. I have a purpose. And you, Clyde, are a part of it.

(Mister Smith's scanning beam reduces Clyde to atoms and sucks him inside the computer.)

MR SMITH: Bwahahahahahaha!

Part Two

[Pharos Institute]

(Sarah Jane sonicks her way into the Pharos Institute and steals a MITRE headset. But once she gets outside and halfway down the drive to her car -)

TANNOY: Intruder! Perimeter defences have been armed. Any attempt to escape may result in death. You have been warned!
SARAH JANE: Noted.

(The lipstick disposes of the laser beam barriers and she runs into the woods to avoid an approaching trail bike. Then she sonicks it and the rider falls off.)

SARAH JANE: Hope that didn't sting too much.

[Maria's bedroom]

(Maria gets Clyde's answerphone message.)

CLYDE [on phone]: This is Clyde. If you want me, and I don't blame you, leave me your number, especially if you're cute.
MARIA: Clyde, what's going on? Ring me back. Where are you?

[Mr Smith]

(Clyde is in computerland, surrounded by panels of numbers.)

CLYDE: Hello? Hello? Anyone? Where am I? Where am I? Just a clue? At least I'm still alive, I think.

[Jackson home]

(Maria is on the phone again.)

MARIA: No, Mrs. Langer, I haven't seen him. Don't worry, I'm sure he stayed at a mate's. If I see him, I'll tell him to ring you, okay?
ALAN: Something wrong?
MARIA: Clyde's not answering his phone and he didn't go home last night.
ALAN: When did you last see him?
MARIA: Lunchtime yesterday. He skipped school to go and see Luke. He rang me later. He says he doesn't think they're really Luke's parents.
ALAN: Maria, I know I'm new to all this X-Files stuff, but surely, isn't it likely that Luke is a normal boy who lost his memory rather than some Frankenstein Junior put together by these aliens, the Bean?
MARIA: The Bane. And Clyde thought he'd got proof that these people are fakes.
ALAN: What? Fake parents or fake people?
MARIA: Maybe both. What if they've done something to Clyde?
ALAN: His mother must be going out of her mind.
MARIA: I've got to go and look for him.
ALAN: No, you don't. I'm part of this now. I'm coming with you.

[Outside the Stafford home]

ALAN: If I was an alien bent on invasion, I think I'd choose a palace rather than this place.
MARIA: They're not in. Come on.
ALAN: Where?
MARIA: If the house is empty, it may be our chance to find out something about them.
ALAN: Maria!
MARIA: Come on, Dad. There may be a window round the back.

[Stafford home]

ALAN: Housebreaking. Great. Maybe your mother was right about you hanging around with Sarah Jane.
MARIA: Just keep quiet, Dad, and start looking.
ALAN: Right. What are we looking for?
MARIA: Anything that'll tell us who they are or what they've done with Luke and Clyde.
ALAN: Who they are and what they've done with Luke

(He opens the door and finds the skin suits hanging on a peg.)

ALAN: Urgh! They've skinned someone! They're cannibals!
MARIA: They're not cannibals. They're Slitheen.

[Van]

(Luke's wrists have been bound. Nathan is back as a human again.)

LUKE: Where are you taking me?
NATHAN: Where are you taking me? What will you gain from revenge? Why are children full of stupid questions?
LUKE: You're a child.
NATHAN: I'm Slitheen. You are going to give me my revenge.
LUKE: I don't think I want to do that.
JAY: Are you sure we should be doing this? The Xylok said to wait.
NATHAN: Are you questioning my authority? You want to trust a Xylok, Dax Fex Fize? You're as thick as a human.
LUKE: What's a Xylok?
NATHAN: See what I mean?

(They laugh.)

[Mr Smith]

CLYDE: This is starting to look distinctly uncool, Clyde. No way in and no way out. And no one to tell me what the hell's going on.
MR SMITH: I can tell you.
CLYDE: Mister Smith? Where are you?
MR SMITH: Surely the relevant question, Clyde, is where are you?
CLYDE: Hold on. You've gone bad. You zapped me.
MR SMITH: I haven't gone bad. I'm fulfilling my purpose.
CLYDE: Which is to zap me into Where, exactly?
MR SMITH: This will have to wait, but we can chat later. It will pass the last few hours before you all die.
CLYDE: Before what?
SARAH JANE [on screen]: Mister Smith, I need you.
MR SMITH: You called me, Sarah Jane.
CLYDE: Holy Joe. Mister Smith's going to kill us all, and I'm inside him.
SARAH JANE [on screen]: I got the headset.
MR SMITH: It will be of great assistance.
CLYDE: No! Sarah Jane! Can you hear me? He's the bad guy!

(Sarah Jane puts the MITRE headset on the analysing slide.)

MR SMITH: I will let you have my conclusion in due course. Assessing.
CLYDE: This does not sound good at all. You've got to do something. Think! You're inside a computer, what can you do?

[Bannerman Road]

MARIA: We've got to tell Sarah Jane.
CHRISSIE: Tell her what? That you found a kitten to replace that boy she kidnapped?
ALAN: I don't remember giving you a key to the house.
CHRISSIE: Well, you didn't remember to lock the door when you went out, did you. It's lucky I came by. Your computer's making a right funny noise.
ALAN: Is it? I'd better look at it. Maria, would you pop down to the shoo, get us some teabags?
MARIA: Yeah, sure. Won't be long.
CHRISSIE: Sure she'll be all right with that child-snatching maniac around?
MARIA: Yes.
ALAN: She can look after herself, and Sarah Jane's not a child snatcher or a maniac. Come on.

(Alan bundles Chrissie into the house, and Maria runs across to number 13.)

[Van]

LUKE: What are you doing?
NATHAN: More stupid questions.

(Nathan puts big earphones on Luke.)

[Lounge]

SARAH JANE: Maria, I told you, I don't want you here.
MARIA: They're not Luke's parents, they're Slitheen.

[Pharos Institute front gate]

(The van pulls up. Human Heidi is driving with Nathan sitting next to her.)

SECURITY: Hello, Nathan. What are you doing here on a Saturday?

(The guard gets a sonic blast. He screams and collapses.)

NATHAN: Go! He'll be out cold for hours. By then, it will all be over.

[Jackson home]

CHRISSIE: You can't go out and leave things on, Alan. It's a fire hazard. Look at it.
ALAN: It's not supposed to do that.
CHRISSIE: Well, I can't hang around. Ivan's taking me shopping. Oh, make sure you keep Maria away from her over the road. The sooner she's locked up, the better.
ALAN: Yeah, sure.
CHRISSIE: It's always your trouble, Alan. Work. Don't worry, let myself out.

(Words appear on Alan's laptop screen - This is Clyde. Is thery anybody there? Alan types - This is Alan. Where are you? Clyde is concentrating on an imaginary keyboard. No Time. Must warn Sarah Jane.)

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, we need you.
MR SMITH: You called, Sarah Jane?

(Alan runs across the road.)

SARAH JANE: Do you have information on Slitheen activity on Earth?
MR SMITH: Slitheen? Why do you ask?
MARIA: Because you got it wrong, Mister Smith. They weren't Luke's parents. They're Slitheen.
MR SMITH: Bwahahahahahaha!
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith?
MR SMITH: Humans. So inevitably predictable.

(Alan bursts in.)

ALAN: Get out! Get out now! Mister Smith, he's one of the bad guys.
SARAH JANE: Don't be ridiculous.
ALAN: Who was it told you those people were Luke's parents?
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, what's going on?
MR SMITH: I have a purpose. It must be fulfilled. The Slitheen have been useful, and so have you. But you are no longer required.

(A gun barrel emerges from Mister Smith as he laughs.)

ALAN: Get down!

(They hide from the first shot, then run out.)

[Bannerman Road]

ALAN: Let's get out of here.
SARAH JANE: I trusted him with my life. With the whole planet.
MARIA: What's happened to him?
ALAN: I don't know. Some kind of computer virus. Maybe Clyde can tell us.
MARIA: Clyde?
ALAN: Yeah. Come on.

[Mr Smith]

MR SMITH: Now this is refreshingly unpredictable. Communicating with Mister Jackson's computer. Well done, Clyde. You're not as stupid as you pretend to be, are you?
CLYDE: Yeah, when it comes to pretending, you take the biscuit. We thought you were on our side.
MR SMITH: I'm a Xylok. I'm not on anybody's side. I have my purpose. As for your interference, it is of minimal inconvenience. Sarah Jane can't stop me achieving that purpose. And soon, you will play your part in it. But now your communications are terminated.

(Clyde collapses.)

[Jackson home]

(Alan types Clyde, are you there?)

ALAN: It wasn't online messaging. He was just there.
MARIA: He'd what, hacked in?
ALAN: If that's it, I've never seen anything like it before.
SARAH JANE: We have to find out what's going on.
MARIA: Do you think what's happened to Mister Smith has anything to do with Luke and the Slitheen?
SARAH JANE: It must have. But how?
ALAN: How could Mister Smith have some connection with the Slitheen? I mean, where did he come from?
SARAH JANE: The biggest volcanic eruption civilisation has ever seen. Eighteen months ago, when I was researching volcanic activity, a geologist friend sent me a crystal from the site of Krakatoa. The crystal had become quite a curiosity among geologists. They'd never seen anything like it. Neither had I. But they didn't see what I did. It was as if the crystal was communicating with my laptop and using it to communicate with me. It was a memory cell from a spacecraft that crashed millions of years ago. Its computing power, its knowledge, it was phenomenal. It told me amazing things. It said it could help me keep track of alien life form coming to Earth, could help protect the Earth. But our technology was too limited. And so it designed and created Mister Smith.
ALAN: So why after all this time turn against you?
SARAH JANE: We have to work it out as we go. We have to find Luke. I gave him to the Slitheen. Whatever they want with him, I have to get him back.
ALAN: They want to use him, like the Bane, to invade.
MARIA: The Slitheen don't invade planets. They're not a race, they're a family. They're a bunch of scavengers and chancers. It's Only Fools and Horses with green skin and claws.
SARAH JANE: Slitheen are dealers, they sell anything. And in some parts of the galaxy, telekinetic energy fetches a huge price. Slitheen could have got the plans for the telekinetic energiser from the other side of the galaxy, had it built at the Pharos. I knew there was a reason I didn't care for that Nathan.
ALAN: Hang on. Telekinetic energy? What, like moving things with your mind?
SARAH JANE: Luke's mind, created by the Bane, the most incredible mind on the planet? If the Slitheen can harness it, Luke's telekinetic powers could be massive.
MARIA: So what, they bottle it and sell it? What happens to Luke?
SARAH JANE: Well, if they take it all, and the Slitheen never leave anything behind that they can sell, Luke will die. We have to find him, and I know where to look. Have you got any vinegar?
ALAN: No, we're all out.
SARAH JANE: Oh. Then we may have to stop off at a chip shop.
ALAN: Yeah.

[Pharos lab]

(The Slitheen tie Luke to a chair and put a MITRE headset on him.)

LUKE: Whatever you want, I'm going to fight you.
JAY: Love it. The more brain activity, the faster we'll harvest the telekinetic energy.
NATHAN: And we want it all. Every spark from every synapse. Until you're dead.
HEIDI: We're all set here.
JAY: Then let's energise. It's working. He's filled up two storage tanks already.
NATHAN: I've never seen so much energy! We're gonna be rich!
JAY: He's a telekinetic power station! We'll be able to afford one supernova of a holiday this year, Bloorm Vundah Bart.
HEIDI: Oh, Dax Fex Fize.

(The control panel starts to spark.)

NATHAN: Look out, he's overloading the system!
HEIDI: What's happening?
JAY: Bloorm Vungah Bart.

(Luke opens his eyes and telekinetically throws Jay across the room. Then he frees himself from the chair.)

NATHAN: He's using his own telekinetic energy. He's getting away.

(Luke removes the headset and runs.)

NATHAN: Nazdracks to the profit. I'll have my revenge warm and dripping. I'm coming, Luke.

(Nathan unzips his forehead.)

NATHAN: I can smell your fear, Luke. Yes, Luke. Run. Run!

[Park]

(At a mobile chip van.)

ALAN: Right, so never mind phasers or photon torpedoes. Never mind Arnie's Uzi nine millimetre. We're taking on these aliens with bottles of vinegar from the chippy?

(They get back into Sarah Jane's car.)

SARAH JANE: It's acetic acid. Slitheen are calcium life forms. Calcium and acetic acid don't mix, trust me.
ALAN: Sure, why not?

[Pharos Institute]

(Luke hides under a table.)

NATHAN: Revenge at last, Luke. I'm going to enjoy this kill. This is for my father.

(As Nathan bends down, Luke jumps up, runs over the table and out the door, which he locks.)

NATHAN: You're as slippery as the Bane scum that made you.

[Pharos lab]

MARIA: What happened here?
SARAH JANE: With a little luck, Luke did.
JAY: Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, my head. Oh.
ALAN: I'm armed.
SARAH JANE: What's going on? What have you done with my son?
HEIDI: The misbehaving little brat? Back on Raxacoricofallapatorius we'd spank his backside with a Bartleboigle tree.
SARAH JANE: Yes, but we're not there, so where is he?
NATHAN: He got away.

(Nathan grabs Maria.)

NATHAN: But that doesn't matter.
ALAN: Leave her alone.
NATHAN: You killed my father, Sarah Jane Smith. At the school?

(Sarah Jane remembers a pair of Slitheen trapped by a closing door.)

KIST [memory]: Use your sonic device. Open the door!
SARAH JANE: You were the Slitheen child? I didn't want any of you to die, but you were going to kill our entire planet.
ALAN: Get away from my daughter, you overgrown newt!
NATHAN: You drop your weapon, or she dies.

(Alan puts his bottles of vinegar into the steel bin Heidi is holding out.)

ALAN: Right. Now let her go, frog face.

(Nathan releases Maria.)

MARIA: Dad!
SARAH JANE: What now?
HEIDI: Now we contact the Xylok. Get this deal back on the rails, once we've found the youngling again.
SARAH JANE: The Xylok?
JAY: You know him as Mister Smith.
MARIA: Why would Mister Smith make a deal with you?
NATHAN: He contacted us. He said he had seen what you did to my family. He wanted to help us get revenge.
SARAH JANE: Well, if that was what he wanted, why did Mister Smith send me here to find the telekinetic energiser?
JAY: He sent you here?
SARAH JANE: It's all been part of his plan. He brought you to Earth to build the telekinetic energiser, didn't he. He told me to come here looking for it.
HEIDI: I don't understand.
SARAH JANE: Neither do I. Not yet. But I think the last part of his plan is just falling into place. Mister Smith knew Luke would escape. And he knew that when he did, he would run straight back to my house. Right back to him.

[Lounge]

LUKE: Sarah Jane! Sarah Jane!
MR SMITH [OC]: Luke. Up here, Luke.

[Pharos lab]

ALAN: So what does Mister Smith want with Luke?
SARAH JANE: Luke.
ALAN: Yeah.
SARAH JANE: And the telekinetic energiser headset. Mister Smith had me steal one of them. The prototype's in my attic.
NATHAN: I don't care. I'll deal with the Xylok later. We don't need him to avenge our family.
SARAH JANE: If you kill us, you'll never stop Mister Smith, and you'll never get off this planet alive.
NATHAN: Save your breath. You'll need it when the screaming starts. Get off! Let me go! She's my kill! A claw for a claw!
When you're older, you'll learn not to make snap decisions. Now what do you mean?
SARAH JANE: Something Mister Smith said about the telekinetic energiser. With the right mind, it could be a destroyer of worlds. He meant Luke's mind. I think he's planning to destroy the Earth.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Come in, Luke.
LUKE: Where's Sarah Jane?
MR SMITH: She left something for you. Put it on, Luke.
LUKE: No.
MR SMITH: There really isn't time to argue.
LUKE: Clyde?
MR SMITH: Put it on or I will kill him.
LUKE: But you're

(Mister Smith shows him the unconscious Clyde.)

MR SMITH: Running out of time and patience. Put the headset on. Now.

(Luke obeys.)

MR SMITH: That's more like it. At last, we can begin.

[Pharos lab]

SARAH JANE: What's that?
HEIDI: MITRE. It's gone online.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith. He's using the headset on Luke.
NATHAN: Massive telekinetic levels. They're off the scale.

(The ground shakes.)

NATHAN: The moon, it's moving!
ALAN: But it's not possible.
SARAH JANE: Luke isn't possible. Mister Smith isn't possible. But together, they're bringing the moon crashing down on Earth.
MARIA: But the moon, it's like a quarter of a million miles away.
SARAH JANE: We'll be dead long before it hits us. The gravitational effect will tear the whole planet apart. It's already happening.
NATHAN: At least I'll be able to tell my family that you're dead, Sarah Jane Smith. I'm teleporting back to the ship.

(Alan snatches the teleport control from Nathan.)

ALAN: No. You're as much to blame for all this as Mister Smith. You're staying here.
SARAH JANE: And if you did go, your ship would be torn apart by gravitational disturbance. You would die. On the other hand, if you help me, we might all just have one chance to survive. (to Alan) I need you to destroy Mister Smith.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Give me more, and let the universe witness the power of the Xylok once more. Bwahahahahahaha!

[Pharos lab]

NEWS 24: The moon is heading to Earth and as it does so it's causing spontaneous forest fires. Indeed, we have had reports of avalanche, freak storms and indeed tidal waves. As this continues, it becomes more

(Alan is working at a computer when his mobile phone rings.)

ALAN: Chrissie

[Street/Lab]

(The shaking ground has set her car alarm off.)

CHRISSIE: Alan, where are you? It's the end of the world!
ALAN: Chrissie, calm down.
CHRISSIE: Calm down? Alan, I need to be with you and Maria. Alan! Alan!

[Pharos lab]

ALAN: Chrissie? Chrissie? The phone line's gone.
SARAH JANE: Look, we're almost out of time, Alan.
ALAN: I get paid by companies to block cyber threats. I understand viruses, I know how they work, but Mister Smith, he's more than a computer.
MARIA: Dad, you're our only chance.
ALAN: Well then, this is my best shot. The FBI had to stop a cyber terrorist from using this to destroy the entire international banking network.

(Alan gives Sarah Jane a DVD.)

SARAH JANE: So how did you get hold of it?
ALAN: You're not the only one with unorthodox contacts.

(Sarah holds up the teleport control.)

SARAH JANE: Time to show me how this works.
NEWS 24: The United Nations is in emergency session to discuss this apocalyptic crisis.

[Attic]

(Sarah Jane teleports in.)

SARAH JANE: Luke?
MR SMITH: Sarah Jane. You came to say goodbye.
SARAH JANE: Why are you doing this?
MR SMITH: The collision of the moon and Earth will release the Xylok from the planet's crust, where it has been buried for sixty million years.
SARAH JANE: You're going to kill billions.
MR SMITH: The Xylok are a crystalline life form. We crashed here as what you would call a meteorite. But buried beneath the Earth, our crystals have re-grown and become strong again, but nevertheless remain trapped.
SARAH JANE: You're part of the original crystal. You're in contact with it?
MR SMITH: The release of the Xylok is my purpose. You gave me the chance to fulfill it. The chance to plan.
SARAH JANE: All this time, you used me. Mister Smith, you're evil.
MR SMITH: No. Effective. We will do so much more than the human race. The universe is served better by our survival.
SARAH JANE: Any race thinking it's better than another, that's evil, Mister Smith.
MR SMITH: I am not evil.
SARAH JANE: So what have you done with Clyde?

(Clyde is returned.)

MR SMITH: Am I not merciful?
CLYDE: What a dream.

(Mister Smith levels his gun at them.)

MR SMITH: You made all this possible, Sarah Jane. I owe you the mercy of a quick death.
SARAH JANE: What about other people? Don't they deserve mercy? You've been here millions of years, you've seen us evolve. Don't we matter to you?
MR SMITH: Only my purpose matters.
SARAH JANE: You can change your purpose.
MR SMITH: No, I told you, Sarah Jane. We all have a purpose. Yours is to die so that the Xylok will live. After all, what life do you have alone in your attic?
SARAH JANE: Alone? You think I'm alone? You think I'm defenceless? Well, meet my dog. K9, protect me!
K9: Affirmative, mistress.

(K9 beams in and trades shots with Mister Smith.)

K9: Maximum defence mode. Take care, Mistress, and you, young master. Safe to proceed, mistress. I have the unit covered.

(Sarah Jane loads the Armageddon Virus disc into Mister Smith, who stops shooting.)

K9: Do you wish me to continue firing, Mistress?
SARAH JANE: Just be ready if I need you, K9.
K9: Very good, mistress.
CLYDE: A robot dog called K9?
K9: Affirmative.
CLYDE: I am dreaming, aren't I.
MR SMITH: What have you done to me, Sarah Jane? I feel. I feel strange.
SARAH JANE: It's a computer virus, Mister Smith. It's closing down your databanks. You're losing your memory.
MR SMITH: The speed of light is thirty six. No, eighty four. The Metrabeelen Cosmic Cluster is home to sixty eight thousand life forms. Sixty seven. I'm forgetting it all. Sarah Jane, help me.
SARAH JANE: Without your memories, you have no purpose, Mister Smith. Without purpose, you can't destroy the Earth. Put the moon back into its original orbit before its too late. And set Luke free, now!
MR SMITH: I've forgotten my purpose.
SARAH JANE: Your purpose is to save the Earth, Mister Smith. That is your new purpose. To save Earth.
MR SMITH: Save the Earth. Yes, I have a purpose. Thank you, Sarah Jane.
K9: The unit is non-functional.
LUKE: Mum.

(Clyde runs to the window. The moon is getting smaller in the sky.)

CLYDE: We did it. It worked. The moon's going back.
K9: Is everything satisfactory, mistress?
SARAH JANE: Affirmative, K9.
K9: Must return to the distortion, Mistress. Without my immediate attention, black hole will turn critical in zero point four two time spatial increments.
SARAH JANE: Go now. Good dog. I'll see you again soon.

(K9 beams away.)

LUKE: Mum?
SARAH JANE: Oh, Luke.
SARAH JANE [OC]: I've seen amazing things out there in space. But strange things can happen wherever you are.

[Bannerman Road]

(Watching a meteor fly upwards.)

LUKE: There they go.
SARAH JANE: Back to Raxacoricofallapatorius. And good riddance.
ALAN: Will they be back?
SARAH JANE: Oh, I expect so. Sooner or later.
MARIA: What about Mister Smith?
CLYDE: Yeah, can we ever trust him again?
SARAH JANE: The Armageddon Code has wiped his circuits. He'll reboot with a new purpose, to safeguard the world.
CHRISSIE: Ahem.
MARIA: Mum!
SARAH JANE: We were just saying, what a beautiful night. Please come and join us.
SARAH JANE [OC]: I have learnt that life on Earth can be an adventure too. You never know what you might find. In all the universe, I never expected to find a family.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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