Referenced in The Unicorn and the Wasp as a humorous flashback, the Doctor’s meeting with Charlemagne and an insane computer is also a short story available on the BBC website.

This is a very quick read. It is a mere two ‘pages’ long on the BBC website.

The story sees the Doctor and Donna pulled off course for 1985 and ending up materialising in the kitchens of Charlemagne in the year 800. After being mistaken for the Emperor’s new food taster (!) the Doctor learns that Charlemagne has disappeared in the Ardennes forest. Investigating, he and Donna also disappear and are transported to an alien planet where they find not only Charlemagne, but a host of other historical celebrities…and Cher!

It transpires that a computer called Momos has kidnapped the great minds of Earth in an attempt to resurrect his creators’ ravaged society. The Doctor points out the potential disaster that would befall the timelines if these figures remain kidnapped from their rightful places in history and Momos apologises, returns everyone home and sets off to explore the universe on its own.

It’s an odd little tale, clearly written for a younger audience. The prose is far from complex and there are some very clumsy pieces of exposition from characters. This is clearly to move the story along quickly in such a short space, but doesn’t make for the most satisfying of reads.

The scene featuring the various ‘celebrities’ is fun though and includes: Charlemagne, Winston Churchill, Joan of Arc, Michelangelo, Beethoven, Cleopatra, Galileo, Boudicca, Sir Francis Drake, Caligula, Noel Coward and Cher.

Cher is clearly included to allow a couple of gags but the inclusion of Noel Coward is an odd one. I can imagine many of the children reading the story to have heard of people such as Churchill or Cleopatra, but Coward? Admittedly, the author Rupert Laight, would have been aware than older fans such as my good self would also be reading this, but it still strikes me as an odd choice.

The plot doesn’t bear too much scrutiny – I’m presuming the return journey for these people also wipes their memories – but it doesn’t strike me as a story over which much time was actually spent.

As an expansion of the scene from The Unicorn and the Wasp it’s a darn sight less exciting than the unseen adventure I had made up in my own imagination, but that is always a danger with this sort of extrapolation.

Historically, aside from the ‘great minds’ we meet Badlebert and Macon from Charlemagne’s retinue, some guards with pikes and spend a brief couple of scenes in the palace kitchens and the Ardennes forest. Aside from that it is fairly light on historical detail, aside from the two meals the Doctor tastes – a soup involving celery and something like a hotpot without enough salt. Badlebert refers to aconite as a poison which struck me simply because it was the poison used in this week’s episode of Merlin to attempt to murder King Arthur.

A brief, fun romp which enjoys itself expanding on the briefest of hints which is accompanied by a couple of quite nice illustrations into the bargain.