Torchwood One – Machines

#2.01. The Law Machines ~ 9/10

◆ An Introduction

Classic Who has a menagerie of different foes that would work exceptionally well in the modern day, with some writers taking the initiative and capitalising on that potential.

Torchwood VS WOTAN: now that’s a fantastic premise!

Ladies, gentleman, fellow non-binary people. It’s time to meet the Law Machines!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

The Mayor of London is launching her bold new law and order initiative. The capital will be kept safe from crime, from fear, from terrorists. The Law Machines are launching. What could possibly go wrong?

◆ DISCLAIMER

It was only after pre-ordering ‘I Hate Mondays’ that I was made aware of the Islamophobic and transphobic rhetoric that Tracy-Ann Oberman continues to share on social media.

For this reason, I will not be purchasing any further releases featuring Oberman. I refuse to support someone with such despicable views.

I previously covered the first four sets for TimeScales, so will be porting those reviews over to this site: each of them will carry this disclaimer. They were all written prior to May 2023. Please remember not to take any of my comments in this review about Oberman’s performance – positive or negative – as condoning her frankly awful views.

◆ Yvonne Hartman

Having written for this team in the previous box set, Matt Fitton has already proven he understands these characters perfectly. Yvonne is afforded some excellent material in ‘The Law Machines’.

Tracy-Ann Oberman kicks off ‘Machines’ with a brilliant performance.

Yvonne thinks the original concept for the Law Machines was a little too retro: Torchwood have gone sleeker, sexier. She tries to convince Fiona that the Law Machines’ rampage is only a “temporary hiccup” – unsurprisingly, nobody believes that. Torchwood has experience in these kinds of situations, so she attempts to get in touch with her people, only to discover that all her staff are also being massacred by Law Machines! Yvonne dismisses the notion that the robots are being remote controlled from the BT Tower, as it only runs satellite link-up and breakfast TV now; the last omnipotent voice the tower broadcast was Eamon Holmes! She completely wipes the floor with Fiona: the Mayor is temporary, whilst she is permanent. Torchwood has been this country’s last line of defence for over a century, and Yvonne’s role in the organisation has been ordained by the monarchy, and she’ll be damned if some manicured, jumped-up career politician thinks she can end it! She defends the general public because they are incapable of doing so themselves.

◆ Ianto Jones

‘The Law Machines’ doesn’t give Ianto that much material. I’m perfectly alright with this, as the next episode puts the focus squarely onto our favourite coffee boy.

Gareth David-Lloyd continues to provide amazing performances in this range.

Ianto finds the history behind the Law Machines and the Brett archives fascinating, but is soon told to keep his trap shut by Yvonne.

◆ Tommy Pierce

I would quite happily listen to a whole box set focused entirely on Tommy. Such an interesting character, who is rapidly becoming the shining star of this range. He gets some great material in ‘The Law Machines’.

Timothy Bentinck is back, delivering yet another assured performance as the Head of Alien Acquisitions.

Tommy tried using the master switch at Torchwood Tower to deactivate the Law Machines, but it didn’t work. A Code Black has since been declared, and all operatives – himself included – are out on the streets of the capital trying to deal with ninety killer robots. He wonders if they’re being controlled from the BT Tower like last time. As soon as he claps eyes on the Mayor, he practically starts drooling. Misogynistic and attracted to powerful women: certainly not an expected combo! The way Tommy talks to Fiona is actually pretty vomit inducing, and reminiscent of Gene Hunt’s usual manner towards women.

◆ Story Recap

The Mayoress of London has fewer staff and falling budgets. Criminals and terrorists do not, but Torchwood can help her to leapfrog the problem and take them a step ahead of the ne’er-do-wells.

An ergonomic, mechanical solution; everything from a simple caution to full-blown arrests. The Law Machines are set to bring vital improvements to law and order within the capital, but the Institute built them using technology salvaged from the Post Office Tower incident; from C-Day, July 1966.

When the Law Machines go rogue during their public debut, Torchwood One are left to pick up the pieces.

◆ I Fought the Law!

I have no issue in telling you that ‘The War Machines’ is my absolute favourite story with the First Doctor. The 1960s were a very different time; computers were significantly more primitive. Having WOTAN emerge into the digital age is a genius idea: with access to downloads and Wi-Fi to enslave the planet.

That also explains why WOTAN, and the previously enslaved Julian Delaware, are able to remotely take control of ninety robot rozzers on ninety street corners… which is when all Hell breaks loose!

◆ Sound Design

‘The Law Machines’ features the best soundscape in this range, so far. Iain Meadows does an amazing job at showcasing what happens when the Law Machines are unleashed on the capital. Short answer: absolute carnage!

An adoring crowd cheers and claps for the Mayor of London. The Torchwood production line features machines building machines. The robotic voices of the Law Machines are accompanied by clicking cameras during the press release. The robots go rogue and start causing carnage, showing just how much more advanced they are than their 1960s predecessors; flamethrowers, machine guns, and just a general powerhouse of weaponry and explosives. Fleeing Londoners scream in terror, whilst emergency service vehicles are detonated by the Law Machines’ weaponry. Flamethrowers melting the flesh of Met Officers. People hiding inside a London internet café, as the familiar echoing voice of WOTAN booms out of Delaware’s laptop. A Law Machine promptly sets the Mayor on fire before deciding to run her over: you can hear the sounds of her body squelching and crunching. It’s quite disgusting. The Law Machines drive straight into the Thames, short circuit, and promptly detonate!

◆ Conclusion

“OBEY THE LAW, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR!”

Torchwood One have constructed ninety robot police officers to be stationed on ninety street corners within the capital. Unfortunately, they’ve all gone rogue during the press release and started a full-blown massacre. Probably not the smartest idea to construct them from research relating to WOTAN!

‘The Law Machines’ is an excellent way to kick off this box set. WOTAN is back in business, and this time… he’s gone wireless! The story is a little bit thin on the ground, but that’s because this whole episode is one action packed romp across the city of London.