The Last Sontaran

Part One

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: I've always loved the night sky. As a child I would lie in bed gazing out of my window, and fall asleep counting the stars, then dream about what might be out there. But I never dreamt that one day I would find out. How could I possibly have imagined everything that I would see? Everything that we would see?
MARIA: The Bane, Slitheen, the Gorgon, the Trickster. When I moved into Bannerman Road, I thought creatures like that were just stories. It's amazing, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: And there's still so much more to discover.

[Control room]

(The scientist in charge of the radio telescope talking to his daughter is wearing the traditional white lab coat, and has a touch of the Alan Rickman about him.)

SKINNER: All right, we'll be coming up on Rigel Beta Five in thirty seconds. I know this is a

(His daughter removes an earbud so she can hear him.)

SKINNER: I know this is a radio telescope, Lucy, but that's not really the sort of thing we tune into here.
LUCY: Sorry, Dad.
SKINNER: And this is our kind of show.
LUCY:: It's beautiful.
SKINNER: And your mother wants you to go into chemistry. You see sights like that down the end of a microscope? No. You tell her from me next time you see her, your veins run with starlight. You're going to be an astronomer.
LUCY: She says chemistry is hands on. Astronomy is just eye spy.
SKINNER: Well, chemists smell of formaldehyde. Astronomy is science gone rock and roll.
LUCY: Well, something's definitely got all shook up on Rigel Beta Five.
SKINNER: I've never seen anything like this before. Cyclic wave pattern. It's intelligent.

(Something whooshes overhead.)

[Outside the Observatory]

SKINNER: Amazing.

(Balls of light are playing around the radio telescope dish. Very CE3.)

SKINNER: Lucy, stay here.

(He runs into the woods to follow them.)

LUCY: Dad. Wait for me. Dad? Dad, where are you?

(Then she turns and screams.)

[Jackson kitchen]

(The post has arrived.)

MARIA: I think it's come.
ALAN: What if it's no?
MARIA: Then it's no and nothing has changed, has it?
ALAN: Maria, this new London office. A job like that could change our lives.
MARIA: More than they have already? I mean Xyloks, being turned to stone, alternate realities? Anything else is just money.
ALAN: Oh, come on, you're right. How much of a shocker can this be?

[Attic]

(Clyde and Luke are playing a Shoot Em Up video game on Mister Smith's screen.)

CLYDE: You're done for, Boney.
LUKE: Non, Monsieur le Duc. I've divided your forces. You're outnumbered. You don't stand a chance.
CLYDE: See, that's the problem with you, Bonaparte. All mouth and short trousers.
SARAH JANE: What's going on?
LUKE: It's our history project for the weekend. On Monday, Clyde and I have to demonstrate the different battle strategies of Bonaparte and Wellington at Waterloo.
CLYDE: I wanted to do the Battle of Hoth, But Mrs Pittman reckons that Star Wars isn't historically accurate, or something like that.
SARAH JANE: Oh, I see. Well, I'm sorry, but I need to speak to Mister Smith.
MR SMITH: Of course, Sarah Jane. What can I do for you?
SARAH JANE: There's a report on the news about a village called Goblin's Copse. Apparently, last night people saw strange lights in the sky. Did you detect any spacecraft activity?
MR SMITH: No. Lights in the sky can of course have many explanations other than those of an extra terrestrial nature.
CLYDE: An alien computer de bunking flying saucers? Now I've heard everything.
MR SMITH: If every aerial phenomenon reported as a UFO was in fact an alien spacecraft, I assure you, Earth would be at the centre of a solar grid lock backing up to the outer rings of Saturn.
SARAH JANE: It could be my imagination, Mister Smith, but since your re-boot have you acquired a sense of humour?

(Mr Smith imitates a Hitchhikers Guide computer beep.)

MR SMITH: I will run a diagnostics check immediately.

[Jackson kitchen]

MARIA: This is incredible.
ALAN: I know, but. I said it would change our lives but this'd be so much more.
MARIA: Dad, it's fantastic.
ALAN: Are you sure?
MARIA: What are you asking me for?
ALAN: Because this isn't just a job offer, Maria. This can't just be up to me. This decision involves you. Even your mum. And Sarah Jane, Luke, Clyde. All of it will be over.

[Outside 13 Bannerman Road]

(Sarah Jane is heading for her car.)

CLYDE: I thought Mister Smith said there was no alien connection to the lights last night.
SARAH JANE: He did. But the Tycho Project radio telescope is based at Goblin's Copse. Mister Smith is bright, but he doesn't have a journalist's nose for a story.
MARIA: What's going on?
CLYDE: Strange lights in the sky, a creepy sounding village and a radio telescope.
SARAH JANE: Fancy a ride into the country?
MARIA: Better catch it when I can.

[Outside the Observatory]

SARAH JANE: The Tycho Project is a network of radio telescopes around the world searching for friendly life in outer space. This one was converted from a Cold War listening station.
LUKE: Impressive. So instead of listening to the Russians, it's listening out for aliens.
CLYDE: So how come they've never spotted any when we've got aliens bent on invasion coming out of our ears?
LUKE: Space is a big place, Clyde. All the radio telescopes in the world couldn't monitor all of it.
CLYDE: You mean they're always looking the wrong way?
MARIA: And let's face it, most aliens don't want to be seen.
CLYDE: Until they're ready to jump us. Why do I get the feeling they're about to do it again?
SARAH JANE: Come on.

[Observatory living area]

SARAH JANE: Hello? Is there anyone here? Hello? It's like the Mary Celeste.
LUKE: Everything's operational.
SARAH JANE: But no sign of life.
CLYDE: Tea break?
SARAH JANE: It's stone cold. It's as if something happened out of the blue. They left suddenly. Just dropped everything and went.
CLYDE: Lottery win. I'm just trying to be positive.
LUKE: According to the data records, the antenna was in place to observe Rigel Beta Five last night at twenty two oh eight. But there seems to have been a burst of interference.
SARAH JANE: Around ten o'clock. That's when villagers said they saw lights in the sky.
CLYDE: So the people of Rigel Beta Five don't like telescopes being pointed at them. They come down to sort it. Like popping a paparazzi on the nose.
MARIA: Clyde, it just wouldn't be the same without you.
CLYDE: Well, it's a good thing I'm not going anywhere.

(Lucy runs in.)

LUCY: Something in the woods. There's something in the woods.

(She collapses. A little later, she's sitting up again.)

CLYDE: Here. Drink some of this.
LUCY: Thank you.
CLYDE: You're welcome.
LUCY: Have you seen my dad?
SARAH JANE: No. The place was empty when we got here. My name is Sarah Jane Smith, I'm a journalist. Who are you?
LUCY: Lucy. My dad is Professor Nicholas Skinner. He runs the observatory. Last night, there were lights in the sky, circling the telescope. We went after them into the woods, but I lost him, and. Something in the woods. It chased me. I fell, hit my head. Dad. Maybe it's got him?
SARAH JANE: Calm down. It's all right. What did you see in the woods?
LUCY: I couldn't see it. It's like it was there and it wasn't.
LUKE: Like it was invisible?
LUCY: It's got my dad. It must have!
CLYDE: Look, don't worry, okay? We'll go and find him. It'll be all right. Come on.
SARAH JANE: Just a minute. No one is going into those woods until I know what we're dealing with.
LUKE: I think Clyde wants to impress Lucy.
CLYDE: Actually, her old man might be hurt out there.
SARAH JANE: All right, Clyde. You have a look around the observatory buildings, but don't go into the woods.
CLYDE: Received and understood.

[Outside the Observatory]

LUKE: Lucy's dad isn't here.
CLYDE: Then he's probably out there somewhere.
LUKE: Mum said we shouldn't go into the woods.
CLYDE: Oh, she meant all the way in. We'll just have to nose around the edges, that's all.

(Something with a penchant for hexagons is watching them.)

[Control room]

SARAH JANE: Lucy's sleeping. Exhausted, I expect.
MARIA: Should we ring the police about her dad?
SARAH JANE: I'd like to think this is something the police could handle. My instincts tell me it isn't. They also tell me there's something you want to tell me.
MARIA: My dad's been offered a new job. In America.
SARAH JANE: America?
MARIA: Yeah, he applied for this place in London, then, out of the blue, they offered him a job at the head office in Washington.
SARAH JANE: Well, that's excellent news.
MARIA: Yeah, I suppose. But, how can I leave all this behind? Everything I've seen?
SARAH JANE: Nothing stays the same for ever. If there's anything I've learned in my life, it's that. People always move on.
MARIA: Why are you being like this? I don't want to leave you.
SARAH JANE: All the same, you must.
MARIA: Please don't. I'm sorry
SARAH JANE: There's no need to be sorry, Maria. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful life in America.

[Jackson home]

CHRISSIE: America? You've only just finished decorating.
ALAN: It's the job of a lifetime, Chrissie.
CHRISSIE: Are you going to take it?
ALAN: It's not just about what I want to do.
CHRISSIE: Does Maria want to go?
ALAN: Maria didn't think a job could change our lives any more than they've been changed already. But she wasn't expecting this. Neither was I. Didn't think anything could surprise me now.
CHRISSIE: You never know what's round the corner, Alan.
ALAN: If we go, Maria has a lot more to give up than I do.
CHRISSIE: And my little girl will be on the other side of the world.

[Woods]

CLYDE: I hate woods. The city is civilization, this is the Land That Time Forgot.
LUKE: So why didn't we just stay on the edge, like you said?

(A twig breaks under someone's foot.)

CLYDE: What was that?
LUKE: Maybe it's Professor Skinner.
CLYDE: I can feel the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
LUKE: That's strange. So can I.
CLYDE: No, Luke, that's not strange. That's one hundred percent creeped out to the max.
LUKE: Or the result of an electrostatic field. There's something here, Clyde. Right here.
CLYDE: Where?

(A pair of cloaked boots thumps into the leaf litter behind them, and a vague round-headed shape distorts the trees behind it.)

LUKE: There.
CLYDE: Maybe it can't see us.
LUKE: No, Clyde. I think he sees us.
CLYDE: So why isn't it coming after us?
LUKE: I think it's studying us.

(The shape presses some controls on its arms, and solidifies into a warrior with a big helmet on, before reaching for its weapon.)

LUKE: Run!

(They do. The three fingered alien follows. The boys give him the slip by hiding under some fallen brush.)

CLYDE: Come on.

(But a sort time later -)

LUKE: This is wrong. We didn't come this way.
CLYDE: We follow that, it's bound to lead to the road. Come on.

(And walks right into a forcefield or similar invisible barrier.)

CLYDE: What was that?
LUKE: I can feel the hair on the back of my neck again. There's something here that's cloaked.

(They trace out its rounded shape with their hands.)

[Observatory living quarters]

(Lucy wakes up.)

LUCY: What happened? Is my dad here?
SARAH JANE: No, Lucy, but Clyde and Luke have gone to find him. I'm sure they'll be back soon.
LUCY: I have to find him.
SARAH JANE: Lucy. Lucy!

[Control room]

SARAH JANE: Lucy, please, you have to listen to me.
LUCY: Why? I don't even know who you are.
SARAH JANE: Believe me, I know about things like this. Tell me about the lights you saw.
LUCY: They were the size of footballs. Circling the dish.
MARIA: Footballs? So we're not talking about spaceships then?
SARAH JANE: Don't be so sure, the Vorkazian hordes of Meta Vorka Six travel in spacecraft about the size of a coffee cup. But I believe what Lucy saw last night were some sort of drones.
LUCY: Spaceships? You're talking about spaceships here?
SARAH JANE: Come on, in this day and age the idea of aliens shouldn't be so difficult to accept.

(Professor Skinner walks in.)

LUCY: Dad. Dad. I was so worried.

(Lucy hugs her father, but he doesn't hug her back.)

SKINNER: Lucy, I've been looking for you.
LUCY: Something chased me last night in the woods.
SKINNER: There's nothing in the woods. Perhaps something to do with the lights you saw, Professor? My name is Sarah Jane Smith. This is my friend, Maria. What happened to you last night?
SKINNER: This is a private scientific facility. Visitors are not welcome.
LUCY: Miss Smith is a journalist.
SKINNER: I see. Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but there's no story here. The lights were ball lightning. A rare but fascinating meteorological phenomenon. Not an invasion of little green men. Not this time. Goodbye.
SARAH JANE: Oh. I see.
LUCY: But there was something in the woods.
SKINNER: Your imagination, Lucy, that's all. Now, if you will excuse us, I'd like to take care of my daughter.
SARAH JANE: Yes. Of course. Come on, Maria.

[Outside the Observatory]

MARIA: There's something wrong here, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: Yes, his body language was all wrong. He didn't look like a worried father who's been out hunting for his missing daughter. In fact, he didn't act like her father, at all.

(Sarah Jane's phone rings.)

SARAH JANE: It's Luke.

[Control room]

LUCY: Made you a coffee, Dad. Dad? Hey, are you all right?

(He stands up and walks towards her. She backs away.)

LUCY: Dad?

[Country lane]

SARAH JANE: I thought I told you two to stay out of the woods.
CLYDE: I know. But did you really think we would?
SARAH JANE: Of course not. That's why I'm so angry with myself.
LUKE: It's this way.

[Woods]

CLYDE: We thought it was some sort of a force field at first.
LUKE: But it isn't. I think it's a perception camouflage matrix. I think it's what the alien was using, too.
CLYDE: It's got a shape. See? It's sort of round.
MARIA: Is it the alien's ship?
SARAH JANE: Let's see, shall we?

(Sarah Jane powers up her sonic lipstick. The alien object starts to appear.)

SARAH JANE: Oh, no. It can't be.
MARIA: What is it?
SARAH JANE: We have to get out of here right now. Back to the car. Quickly!
CLYDE: What is it, Sarah Jane?
SARAH JANE: This is too big for us. We can't handle this. I have to contact UNIT.
MARIA: You've never wanted to call in UNIT before. You don't like the military.
SARAH JANE: That is a Sontaran space pod. I've seen one twice before, and I prayed that I would never see another. And never on Earth. The Sontarans are brutal killers. If there are Sontarans here then we are in trouble. Very big trouble. They only ever have one thing on their minds. Conquest.
KAAGH: Sontar-ha!

(The Sontaran presses another control button and his helmet retracts.)

CLYDE: Urgh. I am so off baked spuds.
KAAGH: Consider yourselves prisoners of war.
SARAH JANE: Who are you? What are you doing on Earth?
KAAGH: I am Commander Kaagh, attached to the Tenth Sontaran Fleet. Kaagh the Slayer, soon to be Kaagh the Avenger. Kaagh the Destroyer.
CLYDE: Sounds like Kaagh Who Watches Too Many Conan DVDs to me.
SARAH JANE: Clyde, be quiet. I take it you're responsible for the lights last night?
KAAGH: Simple devices to draw the primitives out of the radio telescope. You are my prisoners. Move.
MARIA: Look! UNIT!

(Kaagh turns to see where she is pointing, and they run away in different directions.)

KAAGH: By the might of Sontar, resistance will be crushed.
SARAH JANE: Do you know where you're going?
CLYDE: As far away from Kettle Head as I can get.
SARAH JANE: No, we have to go back to the telescope. Lucy is there, and her father, whatever Kaagh has done to him.
CLYDE: I don't get it. What does an alien want with a radio telescope anyway?
SARAH JANE: I don't know. Whatever Kaagh is up to, we have to stop him.

[Control room]

(Professor Skinner is loading lots of new programs into the computer very quickly.)

SARAH JANE: Professor Skinner? Professor Skinner?

(Something is blinking at the back of his neck.)

CLYDE: Whoa. What is that?
SARAH JANE: Some sort of neural control implant, I imagine. I always thought the Sontarans used hypnosis to control their drones.
CLYDE: What, is he dangerous?
SARAH JANE: Probably not as long as we let him get on with what he's doing.

(Which appears to be something to do with Earth orbiting satellites.)

CLYDE: Where's Lucy?
SARAH JANE: Maybe I can fix what Kaagh has done to the Professor and find out.
KAAGH: Put it down, female.

[Outside the Observatory]

LUKE: How do you know Mum'll be here?
MARIA: Lucy. She would have wanted to be sure she was safe. Besides, this place is right in the middle of what ever Kaagh is up to. She'll have come back here. It's what I would do.
LUKE: Trouble is, so would Kaagh.
MARIA: I know. But where else can we find out what he's planning? We have to find a way in there without him seeing. Like that.

(A manhole cover.)

[Control room]

KAAGH: The first law of the battlefield. Think like your enemy. You didn't escape me. You saved me the trouble of your escort.
SARAH JANE: What about my two friends? They escaped.
KAAGH: Half forms. What trouble can they cause?
CLYDE: You should ask my teacher.
KAAGH: But you interest me, female. You know my kind.
SARAH JANE: Oh, very well, Commander Kaagh. I met your people a long time ago. And some time off yet. I can tell you that the Sontaran Empire is going to be around for another ten thousand years. Unfortunately, there will still be no end to your war with the Rutan Host. But knowing Sontarans, that's probably the way you like it, isn't it?
KAAGH: You have encountered my kind and survived. You are indeed an extraordinary female.
SARAH JANE: Flattery won't get you anywhere. But you could tell me what you think you're doing on this planet. And why Professor Skinner is hacking in to the access codes of satellites in Earth's orbit. That is what he's doing, isn't it?
KAAGH: I am the sole survivor of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet's Earth Invasion Force.
CLYDE: You mean we already beat you? Loser.
KAAGH: The Empire had a plan. We infiltrated your automotive technology to introduce caesofine gas into the atmosphere.
SARAH JANE: ATMOS. The Sontarans were behind ATMOS? The sky, it burned.
KAAGH: We were tricked.
SARAH JANE: How?
KAAGH: A man they called the Doctor.
SARAH JANE: Of course. I'll bet that must be quite annoying. One man destroying an entire battle fleet. The Doctor's my friend, Kaagh, so you'd better watch out.
KAAGH: No, it is you who are in peril. I should take you back to Sontar to pay for his crimes. For what he has done to me.

(Kaagh points to a scar running down his face.)

CLYDE: The Doctor did that to you?
KAAGH: I was being despatched to Earth from the Battle Fleet when he destroyed the mother ship. I lost control of my craft It nearly burned up as it crashed through your atmosphere. The G-forces nearly killed me, but I survived. Sontar-ha! I was injured, alone. My fellow warriors, the entire battle force destroyed. The lone survivor of a shamed campaign, defeated by a single man without so much as a weapon in his hand. But I am a commander in the Special Assault Squad, trained to operate behind enemy lines. And as long as I have breath, I am undefeated. I moved my craft away from human eyes as I repaired it. And I laid my plans for the revenge of the Sontaran Empire. Here, I have all the weaponry I need to render your miserable planet a cinder floating in space.
SARAH JANE: By dropping satellites out of the sky?
CLYDE: Hold on, satellites come crashing down all the time. We get it on the news, but it's no big deal. They drop into the sea or they burn up.
SARAH JANE: We guide them into the sea, Clyde. I think Kaagh is planning something much more dramatic.
KAAGH: My scans detect more than three thousand satellites orbiting your planet. Your primitive, but deadly, nuclear reactors on Earth will make effective targets.
SARAH JANE: You'll trigger a nuclear chain reaction that will wipe out all life?
KAAGH: And I shall return to Sontar as the avenging hero. My name shall be purged of the shame of defeat. It will echo through the Halls of the Fallen and the Brave. Sontar-ha!
SARAH JANE: And when does this happen?
KAAGH: When they're in the primary position of alignment, a signal from the telescope antenna will bounce across the satellite network and trigger their fall in forty five minutes.

(Skinner starts the countdown.)

CLYDE: Forget it. It's not going to happen. We've seen off all sorts of aliens. No way is Earth going to go down to the Baked Spud From Outer Space.
KAAGH: Your defiance is good, half form.

(Luke and Maria are watching.)

MARIA: We have to do something.
KAAGH: Our battle intelligence on semi-developed organisms is incomplete. The countdown will give me time to expand it with the experiments I shall perform on you.
SARAH JANE: Don't you lay a finger on him. I won't let you!
KAAGH: Defiance will be eliminated.

(Kaagh fires his weapon.)

Part Two

[Control room]

(Sarah Jane falls to the floor. Clyde rushes to her.)

CLYDE: No! Sarah Jane.
KAAGH: She lives. She is my prize to take back to Sontar once Earth is destroyed. There, she will pay for the Doctor's crimes.
CLYDE: We'll stop you. You might be a Sontaran, but you're only one.
KAAGH: One Sontaran is all it takes. Secure her with the other female.

(Professor Skinner obeys.)

[Outside the Observatory]

MARIA: Luke, we really have to do something.

[Control room]

(Kaagh seizes Clyde.)

KAAGH: Your species' biology is primitive. Laboratory analysis at my ship could provide valuable information for the High Command.

(Maria opens a grill from the inside.)

MARIA: Clyde! Over here!

(Clyde gets free and runs to the opening.)

CLYDE: See you, Spud.

(The children escape into the underground bunker complex.)

KAAGH: Argh. I will fry your blood, half-form.

[Corridor]

CLYDE: Boy, that guy has a big case of little man complex.

(Kaagh shoots at them just as they turn a corner. They come to a junction.)

MARIA: Which way?
LUKE: This way.

(Kaagh gets to the junction and sniffs for their scent.)

CLYDE: I can't see.
LUKE: Just keep running.
MARIA: Faster. He'll catch us.
CLYDE: How far does this bunker go?
LUKE: Miles.
CLYDE: In forty five minutes this place could come in really handy.

(Kaagh's shot hits the hand rail, and they run again, ending up some stairs at a door.)

LUKE: I think I took a wrong turn. Sorry.
CLYDE: It's stuck.
MARIA: Clyde, we have to get it open.
CLYDE: First time in my life I wish I carried a lipstick.

(By the time Kaagh gets there, the door is closing again.)

[Outside the bunker door]

(Luke grabs a cut tree trunk.)

LUKE: Help me with this.

(They use it to wedge the door shut. Kaagh hammers on the other side.)

CLYDE: I reckon that is a toad in the hole.
MARIA: Come on.

[Laboratory]

(Sarah Jane wakes up in an armchair. Lots of bits of equipment on a bench, and a water cooler.)

SARAH JANE: Where's Clyde?
LUCY: I don't know. Dad locked you in. What's happened to him? He's acting like some sort of robot.
SARAH JANE: He's being controlled by an alien, a Sontaran. And if we don't get out of here, it's going to destroy the world. My bag! Oh, my sonic lipstick.
LUCY: Your what?
SARAH JANE: If only Luke were here. We'll just have to manage on our own, won't we?

[Bannerman Road]

CHRISSIE: You and Maria moving to America, I just can't get my head around it.
ALAN: If I take the job. Looks like someone's doing all right, anyway. Changed your car?
CHRISSIE: Oh, it's Ivan's. I just borrowed it. Don't change the subject. I mean it, Alan, it would be weird not having you here. We get on much better as friends than we did as husband and wife. I'll miss you.
ALAN: If I go.
CHRISSIE: Of course you'll go. You live for work. You always did.
ALAN: It's what you never understood, Chrissie. I live for Maria. I lived for Maria and you. That's all work was ever about. Looking after the two of you. That's why whatever I do, it has to be right for Maria.

(Alan's phone rings.)

[Woods / Bannerman Road]

MARIA: Dad? You have to help us.
ALAN: Maria, slow down. What's happened?
MARIA: We're at the Tycho Radio Telescope, near a village called Goblin's Copse. Sarah Jane's been captured by a Sontaran. We've got about forty minutes before it destroys Earth. You have to help us talk to Mister Smith.

[Laboratory]

LUCY: A jamming device.
SARAH JANE: Something that will interfere with the radio telescope.
LUCY: And we're going to build it?
SARAH JANE: What's wrong? Haven't you inherited any scientific aptitude from your father?
LUCY: Yeah. But if we jam the telescope won't they be able to trace the source?
SARAH JANE: Exactly.

[Bannerman Road]

CHRISSIE: Where are you going, Alan? Not Mary Jane's?
ALAN: I have to do something for Maria. Maybe you should get Ivan's car back before he finds out you've borrowed it.
CHRISSIE: What about Maria?
ALAN: Maria's fine. She's just er, she left her library book with Sarah Jane. It has to go back today, that's all.
CHRISSIE: All right. We've got to talk this American thing through properly, like a family.
ALAN: Yeah, of course.

(Chrissie drives away. Alan gets the spare key from behind a shrub and lets himself into number 13. Chrissie reverses back to check on him.)

[Attic]

ALAN: Mister Smith? Mister Smith, I need you.
MR SMITH: Oh, Mister Jackson. This is a surprise.
ALAN: It's that sort of a day.

[Woods]

(Maria's phone rings.)

MARIA: Dad?

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

(Chrissie finds an unlocked window and climbs in.)

CHRISSIE: Some people never learn.

[Attic / Woods]

MR SMITH: Sontarans are a clone species originating from the planet Sontar. They are fearless, well trained, strategically intellectual, and immensely strong.
LUKE: But they can be beaten? They must have a weakness.

(Chrissie is listening to the conversation.)

MR SMITH: Sontarans do not eat food. They intake pure energy by means of a probic vent at the base of their skull. This point is their sole weakness.
CHRISSIE: What on Earth is going on?
ALAN: Chrissie?
MARIA: Mum? What are you doing there?
CHRISSIE: I think I get first dibs on the questions. Alan, what's going on?
ALAN: Maria, I'm going to have to call you back.

[Woods]

CLYDE: Sarah Jane's going to be so happy.
LUKE: That's not what's important. All that matters is saving Mum.
MARIA: I think I've got an idea about that. Come on.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

(Alan hustles Chrissie outside.)

CHRISSIE: A role-playing game?
ALAN: It's an internet thing, only some of it's in the real world. You know, looking for clues, solving puzzles.
CHRISSIE: Like a treasure hunt, like when we were dating? All afternoon spent running round back lanes and plodding across fields looking for a golden rabbit?
ALAN: That's right.
CHRISSIE: I don't believe you, Alan. I know when you're lying. I've always known. Maria's in danger, isn't she? And it's got something to do with Calamity Jane.
ALAN: Sarah Jane. She fights aliens. Maria helps her.
CHRISSIE: Aliens?
ALAN: They exist, Chrissie. I've seen them. What do you think nearly brought the moon crashing down?
CHRISSIE: Aliens? From space?
ALAN: Believe me.
CHRISSIE: I do. Your mouth didn't twitch.
ALAN: What?
CHRISSIE: The corner of your mouth. It always twitched when you told a fib. It didn't move at all. Come on. We've got to help our daughter.

(They drive off in Ivan's car.)

[Woods]

CLYDE: Whoa. This is your great idea? The Sontaran's space ship?
MARIA: Kaagh said he had a laboratory. If Luke can synthesise a knock-out gas, we can use it on him.
CLYDE: Brilliant.

(Maria puts her hand into the three fingered door control, and it opens.)

[Control room]

SKINNER: The programme is enabled, Commander. The dish will align on schedule and the up-link will begin.
KAAGH: Good. In twenty five minutes, the Tenth Fleet shall be avenged. My name shall be purged of shame. I shall return to Sontar as Kaagh the Avenger.

[Sontaran ship]

CLYDE: We don't know what any of these chemicals are. They're alien.
LUKE: Dylixium chloride, Korazic acid, Lyzirium phosphate. Chemistry lessons with Mister Smith are much more fun than at school.

(An alarm sounds.)

MARIA: What's that?
LUKE: I think we tripped an alarm system.

[Control room]

KAAGH: Intruders on my ship. Ha! The half-forms. Like bugs in a battle-trench bunk, it is time to crush them.

[Sontaran ship]

MARIA: Kaagh will be coming. Luke, you have to get a move on.
LUKE: I can't rush this.

(Clyde leaves.)

MARIA: Where are you going?
CLYDE: If I can spot Kaagh coming, I can buy you more time.
MARIA: Be careful.
CLYDE: See you back at the telescope.

[Laboratory]

(Sarah Jane connects the power to her gizmo.)

LUCY: It's working.
SARAH JANE: And now, we wait.

(One of Skinner's computer screens reports Signal Interference. He types in the command Trace Interference Source.)

[Sontaran ship]

(As Luke works in the small spaceship, Maria looks through the photographs on her phone. Then it comes up Low Battery.)

MARIA: You know, Luke, I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like you again.
LUKE: You won't need to. You've got me.
MARIA: My dad's got a job in America.
LUKE: Are you going with him?
MARIA: I don't know.
LUKE: You can't go, Maria. I don't want you to go.
MARIA: But Luke, it's my dad.
LUKE: But you've always been here.
MARIA: I know, and I'm going to miss you so much. And Sarah Jane, and Clyde. But none of that matters if we don't stop Kaagh. Please, Luke, you have to make this gas.

(Meanwhile - )

CLYDE: Hey, Bilbo. Over here.

(Clyde throws a stick then runs. Kaagh fires and misses.)

KAAGH: By Sontar, I will crush you with my bare hands, bite-size.

(Back at the Observatory, Skinner enters the living area and sees the gizmo. Sarah Jane and Lucy are hiding behind the door. They make their escape, locking him in.)

[Outside the Observatory]

CLYDE: Someone! Anyone! Let me in!

(Sarah Jane opens the door.)

SARAH JANE: Clyde.
CLYDE: Quick.

(They lock Kaagh out.)

[Sontaran ship]

LUKE: Yes! I've got it.

[Control room]

CLYDE: Luke's working on this knock-out gas. Reckons he can take Kaagh out with it.
(The timer says 20:29.)
SARAH JANE: I'm not sure we've got time.
LUCY: I've watched my dad working. I can try and stop the program.

(She sits at the keyboard and starts typing.)

LUCY: The system's encrypted. I can't get into it.
SARAH JANE: Can we sabotage the dish? The antenna has to be aligned to transmit Kaagh's programme to the satellite. If it can't operate, he might as well howl at the moon.
LUCY: There's an operating system.
CLYDE: Where is it?
LUCY: Round the other side of the complex.

(Sarah Jane retrieves her bag, and lipstick.)

SARAH JANE: You stay here. See if you can break the code.

[Laboratory]

(Kaagh punches the door down.)

KAAGH: You miserable organism, you let them escape.

[Road]

(Chrissie stops by Sarah Jane's car.)

CHRISSIE: I thought you said they were at a telescope.
ALAN: Yeah, well, obviously the telescope must be near.

(He tries ringing Maria.)

MARIA [OC]: This is Maria. Try me again later.
ALAN: Oh, she's still not answering, then. Maybe the battery's dead.
CHRISSIE: Well, where do we go now, Alan? Maria's in danger, and I hope I don't have to remind you whose fault that is.

[Outside the Observatory]

MARIA: Are you sure this gas is going to work?
LUKE: I don't have any Sontaran physiological data, but the anaesthetic would disable a human for two hours.
MARIA: And a Sontaran?
LUKE: We only need a few minutes.

(They spot two lights in the air.)

MARIA: It's the Sontaran's drones. Run!

[Woods]

(But they cannot outrun them.)

SARAH JANE: Get down!

(Clyde tackles Maria and Luke, knocking them both down, as Sarah Jane sonicks the drones.)

LUKE: Mum!
SARAH JANE: Quickly. Maria, you have to go with Clyde. He's going to try to disable the dish. Luke, you're with me. We have to try everything we can.

[Telescope control]

MARIA: This is what drives the dish?
CLYDE: Lucy says there's a central control system transponder. All we've got to do is take it out.
MARIA: Doesn't that sound a bit too easy?
CLYDE: The hard part's finding it.

[Control room]

SARAH JANE: Any luck with the programme?
LUCY: It's no good. I can't do this.
LUKE: Let me.
LUCY: What? I mean, no disrespect or anything, but you're just a kid and we're looking at the end of the world here.
SARAH JANE: No disrespect, Lucy, but you really aren't much more than a kid, either, and can you see the flaw in Einstein's Theory of Relativity? Luke can. And he can save the world. He's had practice. Fifteen minutes to go. Why isn't Kaagh here to see his plan succeed?

[Telescope control]

CLYDE: It's got to be around here somewhere.
MARIA: Fourteen minutes, Clyde.

(Skinner grabs Clyde.)

MARIA: Let him go!
CLYDE: Go, Maria. Find the transponder. Now!

(Maria runs.)

CLYDE: Get off me. Get off!

(Maria spots a red switch box and opens it.)

KAAGH: Is this what you are looking for, female half-form? Remember the first law of battle. Think like your enemy. The second law of battle. Anticipate them.

(Kaagh puts the transponder back into its slot in the Transponder Fuse Unit and shuts the box.)

KAAGH: The operating system remains fully functional.

(The telescope dish moves into position.)

[Woods]

(Chrissie is tottering along in high heels.)

CHRISSIE: Alan. Alan! This is impossible.
ALAN: Just leave them there.
CHRISSIE: Are you mad? These are designer shoes. You want some squirrel moving into the most des res in the forest?

[Control room]

SARAH JANE: Luke, you've only got four minutes.
LUKE: The code is a bi-axial algorithm. It's not Earth mathematics. I'm having to try progressive cross-referencing number bases.
SARAH JANE: You have to hurry.

(He remembers Maria opening Kaagh's spaceship.)

LUKE: Six! That's it, six. Sontarans have three fingers on each hand.
LUCY: What?
LUKE: We use the decimal system. We have ten fingers. That's it. I've cracked the code. I've disabled the program.
KAAGH: Move away from the controls.

(Kaagh and Skinner bring in Maria and Clyde.)

MARIA: I'm sorry. We didn't do it. The antenna's still operational.
KAAGH: These half-forms might be primitive, but I admire their spirit. I shall remember them honourably on my return to Sontar. Earth will be a worthy sacrifice to the Empire.
SARAH JANE: No, Kaagh. Luke broke the program code. He disabled it. You can't take control of the satellites.
KAAGH: The third law of battle. Always have a Plan B. Activating my sleeper agent.

(Lucy gasps and grabs at the back of her neck.)

CLYDE: She was one of them all along? And I fancied her.
KAAGH: She was unaware of my control. Another rule of war. Infiltrate deep within your enemy, then infiltrate deeper still.
SARAH JANE: Lucy, no.
KAAGH: You might give your life, but will you sacrifice this half form?
MARIA: Do it.
SARAH JANE: I can't.
MARIA: It's me or it's Earth.

(Sarah Jane throws her sonic lipstick onto the desk.)

SARAH JANE: One life is as sacred as an entire planet.

(Lucy reinitialises the programme from her phone.)

KAAGH: When the program reloads, it will automatically transmit to the satellites and target your nuclear installations around the world. Sontar-ha.
SARAH JANE: This isn't conquest. It's annihilation. The Earth will be useless to your Empire.
KAAGH: I will have wiped the Sontaran defeat from history. My name will live for all eternities to come. My people will scream it as a battle-cry.
CLYDE: Now I have to admit, that is kind of cool.
MARIA: You're killing innocent people.
SARAH JANE: Stop the program. This isn't battle, it's murder.
KAAGH: Your planet defied Sontar. That can never be. We will have victory over all. Nothing will stop us.
CHRISSIE: Try my size fives, Humpty.

(And sticks one of her metal stiletto heels into his probic vent. The energy release knocks Kaagh out and throws Chrissie backwards.)

MARIA: Mum! Mum.

(Sarah Jane retrieves her lipstick and zaps Skinner and Lucy.)

SARAH JANE: Consider yourselves de-activated.

(Luke disconnects Lucy's phone just as the download reaches 98%.)

MARIA: Mum?

(Luke disconnects Lucy's phone just as the download reaches 98%.)

ALAN: She's all right.
SARAH JANE: What I would like to know is how Chrissie knew where to hit a Sontaran. I suppose it can wait.
ALAN: She's coming round.
MARIA: Quickly, the knock-out gas. Give it to me.
LUKE: What for?
MARIA: If we can get Mum home before she comes round, maybe we can convince her that none of this ever happened. She banged her head. Had a bad dream. Anything.
SARAH JANE: Your mum will have saved the world. She won't have a clue.
ALAN: Believe me, it's better this way. We'd never hear the end of it.
CHRISSIE: Maria.
MARIA: Go back to sleep, Mum.

(And gives her a puff of the knock-out gas. Lucy wakes up.)

LUCY: Dad? Dad, are you all right?
SKINNER: What happened? Those lights in the sky. What on Earth is that?
SARAH JANE: Don't worry, Professor. Commander Kaagh has been de-commissioned.
CLYDE: Sontar-ha!

[Sontaran ship]

SARAH JANE: Don't try anything. Your craft's weapons have been disabled, so don't think about coming back.
KAAGH: Defeated by a female and half-forms. I will go, Sarah Jane Smith, but I will not forget you. Sontarans will yet cry my name in battle.

(Kaagh goes into his spaceship and powers it up.)

SARAH JANE: Well, I think that went as well as could be expected, don't you? Now perhaps we should all run.

(They hide behind trees as the ship takes off.)

MARIA: Do you think that's the last we've seen of him?
SARAH JANE: I hope so. Of course, with some people, it really doesn't matter how far they travel. They never really go away.

[Jackson home]

(Chrissie wakes up lying on the floor.)

MARIA: Mum? Mum, are you okay?
CHRISSIE: What happened?
ALAN: I always said these heels will be the death of you. You tripped, banged your head.
MARIA: I was really worried, Mum.
CHRISSIE: Oh, it's all right, love. I had such a weird dream, though. I dreamed your dad got a job in America.
ALAN: I did. That is, if I take it.
MARIA: I'd love to go to America. You can still visit, can't you?
CHRISSIE: You try and stop me. They've got shops the size of aircraft hangars there.
ALAN: Are you sure? I mean, think about everything you'd be leaving behind.
MARIA: Dad, you can't ever leave the universe behind.

[Attic]

(Six weeks later.)

MR SMITH: I have completed a further scan, Sarah Jane. I have detected no Sontaran energy signatures.
SARAH JANE: Maybe Kaagh isn't coming back after all. Thank you, Mister Smith.
MARIA: Sarah Jane?
SARAH JANE: So, everything packed?
MARIA: I just wanted to come and take one last look. And I wanted to say goodbye to Mister Smith.
MR SMITH: In atomic terms, we all remain connected by the universe, Maria, so I will say au revoir.
SARAH JANE: I really don't know what your father did to him.
MARIA: Will you come and see us? Please?
SARAH JANE: Of course I will. And Maria, I really am sorry for how I reacted when you told me about America.
MARIA: It doesn't matter. We were sort of busy.
SARAH JANE: No, I was wrong. You see, well, for the first time, I felt I'd found a family. And so soon, so suddenly, it felt like I was losing it. Losing the daughter I always wanted.

[Bannerman Road]

(The Jackson house has already been sold.)

CLYDE: Bye.
LUKE: Bye.
MARIA: Safe landings.
CHRISSIE: Bye.
ALAN: Come on, come on.

(Maria and Alan get into the taxi. Chrissie stands next to Sarah Jane.)

CHRISSIE: I remember it all, you know.
SARAH JANE: Sorry?
CHRISSIE: The Sontaran. What really happened with my shoe. Don't worry, I won't say anything. They deserve a new start. We all do.
SARAH JANE: Thank you.

(The taxi drives away.)

[Attic]

(Night time.)

LUKE: I'll miss her.
CLYDE: Yeah, me, too.
SARAH JANE: I learned a long time ago that if you're missing somebody, just look up at the night sky. Whoever it is, wherever they are, chances are they're looking at the stars just like you. Sometimes, for all its size, the universe isn't such a big place after all.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

Back to top