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“THE GREATEST MOVIE NEVER MADE: BLOCKBUSTERS, BEE SWARMS, AND BARELY A SCRIPT”

The Greatest Movie Never Made is a short and breezy comic strip that closes out the long-running Doctor Who Adventures magazine on something of a whimper. Clocking in at only a handful of pages, it stars the Thirteenth Doctor and her fam as they zip off to see the Seven Wonders of the Universe—only to discover that someone’s blown them up. The culprit? A flamboyant, egotistical space film director destroying cosmic landmarks in the name of high art. Naturally.

This is very much a “what you see is what you get” affair. The tone is light, the action fast, and the message—such as it is—wrapped up within minutes. There’s no room for depth or drama here, just a brisk gallop through a silly concept with some sparkly visuals and a swarm of alien wasps.

ART STYLE: SIMPLE BUT EFFECTIVE

Visually, the comic is bright, bold, and cartoonish, with expressive character designs that do a decent job of capturing Thirteen and her companions despite the stylistic simplification. The art doesn't attempt to be realistic, but it does make the characters recognisable—no small feat in such a condensed format.

There’s something charming about the colourful, no-nonsense style—though it’s unlikely to wow fans of more intricately illustrated Doctor Who comics like those in Doctor Who Magazine or Titan Comics. This is clearly aimed at a younger audience, and it wears that on its sleeve.

PLOT: A BLOCKBUSTER BUST-UP IN SPACE HOLLYWOOD

The premise is silly but not without potential: the Doctor and fam visit the Seven Wonders of the Universe, only to find them being blown up by an intergalactic auteur in Follyrood, a sort of space Hollywood. The director insists he’s making the greatest film of all time and justifies the destruction of uninhabited worlds in the name of cinematic legacy. It’s very Doctor Who Adventures—a thinly veiled jab at destructive egotism, showbiz excess, and creative irresponsibility.

Thirteen ultimately turns the tables on him by doing what the BBC once did with its own back catalogue: she wipes his master copies, using alien wasps for good measure. There's even a bit of meta-humour in that twist, echoing both the climax of Lux and real-world archival losses.

Errol Flynn shows up too… because why not? It’s never really explained, and he adds little beyond being a historical non-sequitur. Still, it’s good for a chuckle, even if the randomness underlines how thin the story is.

CHARACTERS: THE FAM GET A CAMEO EACH

Unfortunately, while the Doctor gets most of the lines and some decent material, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham are barely present. Each of the fam gets a single line, possibly two, and mostly serve as visual background noise to Thirteen’s investigation. It’s a pity, since their dynamic is usually one of the few consistent strengths of Thirteen’s era.

The villain is pure caricature, and the story offers him the barest sketch of a redemption arc—though “being humiliated by wasps” probably isn’t one for the books.

A FORGETTABLE FAREWELL

There’s an undeniable sense of finality to this strip, being the last comic printed in Doctor Who Adventures before its discontinuation. That said, if this was representative of the standard within the magazine’s final stretch, its end feels understandable. The story is harmless but disposable, the humour is lightweight, and the sci-fi trappings are superficial at best.

It may entertain a young reader on a car journey, but it lacks the charm, wit, and inventiveness that characterise the best of Doctor Who's extended media. Compared to more ambitious one-shots, audio dramas, or even the Titan Comics range, this barely registers.

📝 VERDICT: 52/100

The Greatest Movie Never Made is a zany, colourful mini-adventure that caps off the Doctor Who Adventures run with a whisper rather than a bang. With expressive but simplistic art, a throwaway villain, and a wafer-thin plot, it’s a brisk read with minimal impact. Thirteen is faithfully rendered, but the fam are barely there, and the satire is paper-thin. Unless you're a completionist or under the age of ten, this is one story that—ironically—might be better left never made.

You know, this comic makes Doctor Who Adventures seem like the ideal home of Thirteen and the fam, what with its complete lack of discernible character traits for Yaz, and story that was clearly written in about 45 minutes. The difference, of course, being that it is a magazine aimed at six-year-olds, rather than a headline BBC drama with a multi-million pound budget.

I can see a good idea about disregarding nature in favour of consumption here, but the comic is too short to elaborate on anything or even have a reasonably logical plot. It’s just: event happens, so characters does things. That’s it. And the length is partially at fault for that, but I have read many 5 page comics with infinitely more structure than this. I don’t think mister Quinn put much thought or care into it.

Unlike the artist Russ Leach though! Quite some detail in the drawings, and even while they’re pretty stiff, the character designs are great! Varied and with a lot of personality, and they’re staged really well across the panels. And I don’t know if this was a case of writer or artist doing it (though I would guess the latter), but the paneling is really clear and pleasant.

The colours I personally find too bright and contrasting to be nice to look at. But it’s fine overall outside of that preference for me.

The Thirteenth Doctor #12

'The Greatest Movie Never Made' (2019) from Doctor Who Adventures Special.

Feel like next to no effort went into this. Very disregardable.

The Doctor Who Adventures Comics were an Oddity in the Whoniverse.

Starting in the Tennant Era they were publishing those constantly throughout that tenure, later the Smith Years and even in the Capaldi Years. That stopped in the Whittaker Era, it's only Entry is this Story, and what an odd Story to finish this Comic Range.

For me, this Story is a double sword, I really like the Concept and see a lot of Potential. The Art as often with those is decent enough, sadly for me this Story just doesn't use its Potential. There are some nice Bits to it, but it suffers from past ones, which offered some interesting Story/World building Potential but never go beyond it with it.

Honestly looking at this Oddity of the Range is much more intriguing, the DWA were definitely something very 2000s, I don't think they could have continued throughout the 2020s unlike DWM Comics.