(The TARDIS materialises, the Doctor gets out and looks around, then walks to the camera).

DOCTOR: Oh, there you are! Hello to everyone watching Comic Relief in the UK, and on the planet Quicksarpantagarus.

DOCTOR: You know Earth’s not the only planet to have Comic Relief, right?

DOCTOR: I just wanted to let you know: If you’re donating on Earth, and you’re a UK taxpayer, please say “Yes” when asked “Are you a UK tax payer?”, and your donation will be increased by 25% thanks to gift aid.

DOCTOR: While, if you’re donating on Quicksarpantagarus, please remember we are no longer accepting donations in trynties, only kavlons and krins please.

DOCTOR: So to recap, let’s make every penny count. Please say "Yes" to gift aid and we can get an extra 25p for every pound you donate. That’s Doctor’s orders. And thank you.

(She uses the Sonic to zap the camera)

Transcript by Shauny. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.