(The TARDIS materialises, the Doctor gets out and looks around, then walks to the camera).

DOCTOR: Oh, there you are! Hello to everyone watching Comic Relief in the UK, and on the planet Quicksarpantagarus.

DOCTOR: You know Earth’s not the only planet to have Comic Relief, right?

DOCTOR: I just wanted to let you know: If you’re donating on Earth, and you’re a UK taxpayer, please say “Yes” when asked “Are you a UK tax payer?”, and your donation will be increased by 25% thanks to gift aid.

DOCTOR: While, if you’re donating on Quicksarpantagarus, please remember we are no longer accepting donations in trynties, only kavlons and krins please.