The Devil’s Chord

“Ta-da!”

TIMOTHY: Henry, get away from him.

MAESTRO: Them.

TIMOTHY: What?

MAESTRO: Me.

TIMOTHY: What?

MAESTRO: I'm them.

TIMOTHY: You're who?

MAESTRO: You're who?

“Music, Maestro, please!”

“Oh! People always say the Titanic, or Mars, or Bethlehem. But the Beatles! Why have I never done that before? Come on!”

DOCTOR: In the past, right now, I live in a place called Totter's Lane. 1963, I park the TARDIS in a junkyard and live there with my granddaughter, Susan.

RUBY: Oh!

DOCTOR: Okay?

RUBY: Your what?

DOCTOR: My granddaughter.

RUBY: Susan.

DOCTOR: The Time Lords were murdered. The genocide rolled across Time and Space, like a great big cellular explosion. Maybe it killed her too.

RUBY: Doctor, God...

“I wrote this for my friend Trudy when a girl broke her heart.”

“...”

“Sound and vision.”

RUBY: You're scaring me now.

DOCTOR: That thing must be part of the Pantheon. Oh, Ruby, there are vast powers beyond the universe. I told you, when we first met. I said, I said the Toymaker... And defeating him took everything. It ripped me in half.

RUBY: But you survived.

DOCTOR: It literally... it tore my soul in half. I can't survive that again. The Toymaker said... he said, he warned me, he said, "My legions are coming. My legions are coming." He said, "My legions are coming."

DOCTOR: This is what we're trying to stop.

RUBY: But this isn't real. This is... this is just like a parallel universe.

DOCTOR: This is your time. This is your home if Maestro isn't stopped.

“I thought that was non-diegetic.”

“But she's the only human left with music in her heart! Playing lovesick songs for heartbroken lesbians. And that just makes me hungry for all those delicious songs.”

MAESTRO: What is this?

DOCTOR: Christmas. The music that was playing the night that she was born.

MAESTRO: How can a song have so much power? And power like him?

DOCTOR: Like who?

MAESTRO: The Oldest One. On the night of her birth. He can't have been there. What for? What for? What for?

DOCTOR: Who was there?

MAESTRO: Go on, then. Do it. Can you find it? The lost chord? Are you enough of a genius?

DOCTOR: Oh, I would never call myself that, Maestro. But I have lived. And I have loved. And I can only smile like this because I have lost so much. I've experienced everything, every single thing, and if that's where music comes from... I can find the chord to banish you.

“The One who Waits... is almost here!”

“But there is one thing that I should warn you about, Ruby, and this is really very serious. With all of my adventures throughout Time and Space, I have to tell you there is always a twist at the end.”

PAUL MCCARTNEY: (sings)

I've got a dog. He's called Fred.

My dog is alive. He's not dead.

I love my dog. He loves me too.

I haven't got a cat. Only a dog.

THE BEATLES: (sings)

My dog, my dog.

My dog, my dog.

I've got a dog.

I love my dog.

He's my dog.

He's not your dog.

If you want a dog, get your own.

JOHN LENNON: What for? I'm no good at anything.

DOCTOR: But, Paul, see, when it's just you on your own, don't you think that there must be better songs? Songs that lift you? And devastate you? And make you soar? Songs that are tucked away somewhere in secret, in the back of your mind?

PAUL MCCARTNEY: How do you know that?

JOHN LENNON: I just want to go home. Forget this life. Just have my tea and go to bed with a woman of my own, you know. That's all I want. But then why do I wake up crying?

PAUL MCCARTNEY: It's like sometimes, late at night, I get this thought, like, it's so far away, but it's a note. A single note. And then a second, and a third and fourth and fifth. And you put them together and it feels like the most holy thing on this Earth. Like a G, then an E. Then a G maybe twice. Then C. And if you put words to it, words right from your heart... (sings) I love you so much...

RUBY: Where's Maestro?

DOCTOR: Composing. And the next tune might be deadly.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. (kisses the TARDIS console) Don't hate me.”