The Christmas Invasion

[London]

(In the Tyler's flat, Jackie is decorating the white plastic Christmas tree and putting presents under it. She looks at the one for Rose and gazes wistfully into the distance. Meanwhile, at Mickey's work, Noddy Holder is screaming 'Merry Christmas' on the radio when another sound can be faintly heard above it and John's hammering.)

[Clancy's garage]

MICKEY: Hey, turn that down. Turn it off, Stevo. Turn that off! John, shut up!

(It's a familiar whooshing sound. Mickey runs out.)

[The Tyler's flat]

(Jackie hears it too.)

JACKIE: Rose!

[Powell Estate]

JACKIE: Mickey!
MICKEY: Jackie, it's the TARDIS!
JACKIE: I know, I know, I heard it. She's alive, Mickey. I said so, didn't I? She's alive!
MICKEY: Just shut up a minute.
JACKIE: Well, where is it then?

(The TARDIS comes out of the vortex in mid air and bounces off one block of flats, a second and a third before avoiding a post office van and finally crashing into a set of waste bins. The Doctor opens the door, still in t-shirt and leather jacket.)

DOCTOR: Here we are then, London. Earth. The Solar System. We did it. Jackie. Mickey. Blimey! No, no, no, no, hold on. Wait there. I've got something to say. There was something I had to tell you, something important. What was it? No, hold on, hold on. Hold on, shush, shush, shush, shush. Oh, I know! Merry Christmas!

(The Doctor collapses. Rose comes out of the TARDIS.)

ROSE: What happened? Is he all right?
MICKEY: I don't know, he just keeled over. But who is he? Where's the Doctor?
ROSE: That's him, right in front of you. That's the Doctor.
JACKIE: What do you mean, that's the Doctor? Doctor who?

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

(The Doctor has been dressed in pyjamas and put to bed. Jackie comes in with a stethoscope.)

JACKIE: Here we go. Tina the cleaner's got this lodger, a medical student, and she was fast asleep, so I just took it. Though I still say we should take him to hospital.
ROSE: We can't. They'd lock him up. They'd dissect him. One bottle of his blood could change the future of the human race. No! Shush!

(Rose listens to both sides of the Doctor's chest.)

ROSE: Both working.
JACKIE: What do you mean, both?
ROSE: Well, he's got two hearts.
JACKIE: Oh, don't be stupid.
ROSE: He has.
JACKIE: Anything else he's got two of?
ROSE: Leave him alone.

(Rose and Jackie leaves. The Doctor exhales some of the TARDIS's golden energy, which flies off into space.)

[The Tyler's flat - kitchen]

(Rose investigates the fridge.)

JACKIE: How can he go changing his face? Is that a different face or is he a different person?
ROSE: How should I know? Sorry. The thing is I thought I knew him, Mum. I thought me and him were... And then he goes and does this. I keep forgetting he's not human. The big question is where'd you get a pair of men's pyjamas from?
JACKIE: Howard's been staying over.
ROSE: What, Howard from the market? How long's that been going on?
JACKIE: A month or so. First of all, he starts delivering to the door and I thought, that's a odd. Next thing you know, it's a bag of oranges
ROSE: Is that Harriet Jones?

(Rose goes into the living room.)

JACKIE: Oh, never mind me.

[The Tyler's flat]

ROSE: Why's she on the telly?
JACKIE: She's Prime Minister now. I'm eighteen quid a week better off. They're calling it Britain's Golden Age. I keep on saying my Rose has met her.
ROSE: Did more than that. Stopped World War Three with her. Harriet Jones.
MAN [on TV]: Prime Minister, what about those calling the Guinevere One Space Probe a waste of money?
HARRIET [on TV]: Now, that's where you're wrong. I completely disagree if you don't mind. The Guinevere One Space Probe represents this country's limitless ambition. British workmanship sailing up there among the stars.
LLEWELLYN [on TV]: This is the spirit of Christmas, birth and rejoicing, and the dawn of a new age, and that is what we're achieving fifteen million miles away. Our very own miracle.
NARRATOR [OC]: The unmanned probe Guinevere One is about to make it's final descent. Photographs of the Martian Landscape should be received by midnight tonight.

(Out in space, the probe bumps into presumably either Phobos or Deimos. A hatch opens in the Martian moon and the probe is sucked inside.)

[Street]

(A brass band dressed in Santa robes plays God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen.)

MICKEY: So what do you need? Twenty quid?
ROSE: Do you mind? I'll pay you back.
MICKEY: Call it a Christmas present.
ROSE: God, I'm all out of sync. You just forget about Christmas and things in the TARDIS. They don't exist. You get sort of timeless.
MICKEY: Oh, yeah, that's fascinating, because I love hearing stories about the TARDIS. Oh, go on Rose, tell us another one because I swear I could listen to it all day. TARDIS this, TARDIS that.
ROSE: Shut up.
MICKEY: Oh, and one time the TARDIS landed in a big yellow garden full of balloons.
ROSE: I'm not like that!
MICKEY: Oh, you so are.
ROSE: Mmm, must drive you mad. I'm surprised you don't give up on me.
MICKEY: Oh, that's the thing, isn't it? You can rely on me. I don't go changing my face.
ROSE: Yeah. What if he's dying?
MICKEY: Okay.
ROSE: Sorry!
MICKEY: Just let it be Christmas. Can you do that? Just for a bit. You and me and Christmas. No Doctor, no bog monsters, no life or death.
ROSE: Okay.
MICKEY: Promise?
ROSE: Yes!
MICKEY: Right! What're you going to get for your mum?

(They walk around the market.)

MICKEY: I'm round there all the time now, you know. She does my dinner on a Sunday, talks about you all afternoon, yap yap yap.

(The band, which is wearing plastic masks, starts to follow them. Rose notices. They stop playing and one fires a flame out of his trombone, starting a panic. Mickey and Rose hide behind a stall. )

ROSE: It's us! They're after us!

(The tuba fires a blast which demolishes a large tree, sending it crashing onto him. Mickey and Rose flee.)

MICKEY: What's going on? What've we done? Why are they after us?
ROSE: Taxi!

[Taxi]

ROSE: They're after the Doctor.
MICKEY: I can't even go shopping with you. We get attacked by a brass band. Who're you phoning?
ROSE: My mum.

[The Tyler's flat]

(But Jackie is already on the phone to a friend.)

JACKIE: She turns up, no warning. I've got nothing in. I said, Rose, if you want a Christmas dinner of meat paste, then so be it.

[Taxi]

ROSE: Get off the phone!
MICKEY: Who were those Santa things?
ROSE: I don't know. But think about it. They were after us. What's important about us? Well, nothing, except the one thing we've got tucked up in bed. The Doctor.

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

JACKIE: Oh, no. Don't come round, darling. No, flat's all topsy turvy. Yeah, she just barges in and litters the place. Yeah. No, I'll come round and see you on Boxing day.

(Jackie puts a mug of tea by the Doctor's bed and leaves. More golden energy is exhaled.)

[The Tyler's flat]

(Rose and Mickey burst in.)

JACKIE: So, save us a chipolata.
ROSE: Get off the phone.
JACKIE: It's only Bev. She says hello.
ROSE: Bev? Yeah. Look, it'll have to wait. Right, it's not safe. We've got to get out. Where can we go?
MICKEY: My mate Stan, he'll put us up.
ROSE: That's only two streets away. What about Mo? Where's she living now?
JACKIE: I don't know. Peak District.
ROSE: Well, we'll go to cousin Mo's then.
JACKIE: No, it's Christmas Eve! We're not going anywhere! What're you babbling about?
ROSE: Mum. Where'd you get that tree?

(The Christmas tree is now green.)

ROSE: That's a new tree. Where'd you get it?
JACKIE: I thought it was you.
ROSE: How can it be me?
JACKIE: Well, you went shopping. There was a ring at the door, and there it was!
ROSE: No, that wasn't me.
JACKIE: Then who was it ?

(The tree lights up by itself and starts playing Jingle Bells.)

ROSE: Oh, you're kidding me.

(Sections of the tree start to rotate in different directions, creating a strong wind. It starts to move, chopping through a coffee table.)

MICKEY: Get out! Go, go! Get out!

(Mickey picks up a chair to fend it off as Jackie and Rose run for the door.)

ROSE: We've got to save the Doctor.
JACKIE: What're you doing?
ROSE: We can't just leave him.
JACKIE: Mickey!

(The spinning tree shreds the chair legs.)

JACKIE: Leave it! Get out! Get out!
ROSE: Mickey!
JACKIE: Get out of there!

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

JACKIE: No, leave him. Just leave him!
MICKEY: Get in here!

(Jackie does as the tree heads for them. She and Mickey pull a wardrobe across the door.)

ROSE: Doctor, wake up!

(Rose gets the sonic screwdriver from the jacket pocket and puts it in the Doctor's hand. The tree smashes through the door.)

JACKIE: I'm going to get killed by a Christmas tree!

(Rose speaks into the Doctor's ear.)

ROSE: Help me.

(He suddenly sits up, aims the screwdriver at the tree, and it explodes.)

DOCTOR: Remote control. But who's controlling it?

[Outside the flat]

(Dressing gown on, the Doctor leads the trio out. Down on the ground, three Santa's gaze up, one holding a radio controller.)

MICKEY: That's them. What are they?
ROSE: Shush!

(The Doctor aims the screwdriver at them and the Santa's back away. Then they are beamed away.)

MICKEY: They've just gone. What kind of rubbish were they? I mean, no offence, but they're not much cop if a sonic screwdriver's going to scare them off.
DOCTOR: Pilot fish.
ROSE: What?
DOCTOR: They were just pilot fish.

(The Doctor is in pain.)

ROSE: What's wrong?
DOCTOR: You woke me up too soon. I'm still regenerating. I'm bursting with energy.

(He exhales the golden energy.)

DOCTOR: You see? The pilot fish could smell it a million miles away. So they eliminate the defence, that's you lot, and they carry me off. They could run their batteries on me for a couple of ow!
JACKIE: Oh! Oh! Oh!
DOCTOR: My head! I'm having a neuron implosion. I need
JACKIE: What do you need?
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Say it. Tell me, tell me, tell me.
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Painkillers?
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Do you need aspirin?
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I don't know, Pepto-Bismol?
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Liquid paraffin. Vitamin C? Vitamin D? Vitamin E?
DOCTOR: I need-
JACKIE: Is it food? Something simple. Bowl of soup. A nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Soup and a little ham sandwich?
DOCTOR: I need you to shut up!
JACKIE: Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
DOCTOR: We haven't got much time. If there's pilot fish, then. Why's there an apple in my dressing gown?
JACKIE: Oh, that's Howard. Sorry.
DOCTOR: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
JACKIE: He gets hungry.
DOCTOR: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
JACKIE: Sometimes.
DOCTOR: Argh! Brain collapsing. The pilot fish. The pilot fish mean that something, something, something is coming.

(The Doctor passes out.)

[The Tyler's flat]

(Rose puts the suffering Doctor back to bed and mops his brow. Mickey has fetched his laptop.)

MICKEY: Jackie, I'm using the phone line. Is that all right?
JACKIE: Yeah. Keep a count of it. It's midnight. Christmas day. Any change?
ROSE: He's worse. Just one heart beating.
REPORTER [on TV]: Scientists in charge of Britain's mission to Mars have re-established contact with the Guinevere One space probe. They're expecting the first transmission from the planet's surface in the next few minutes.
LLEWELLYN [on TV]: Yes, we are. We're, we're back on schedule. We've received the signal from Guinevere One. The Mars landing would seem to be an unqualified success.
MAN [OC]: But is it true that you completely lost contact earlier tonight?

[Press conference]

LLEWELLYN: Yes, we had a bit of a scare. Guinevere seemed to fall off the scope, but it, it was just a blip. Only disappeared for a few seconds.

[The Tyler's flat]

LLEWELLYN [on TV]: She is fine now, absolutely fine. We're getting the first pictures transmitted live any minute now. I'd better get back to it, thanks.
MICKEY: Here we go, pilot fish. Scavengers, like the Doctor said. Harmless. They're tiny. But the point is, the little fish swim alongside the big fish.
ROSE: Do you mean like sharks?
MICKEY: Great big sharks. So, what the Doctor means is, we had them, now we get that.
ROSE: Something is coming. How close?
MICKEY: There's no way of telling, but the pilot fish don't swim far from their daddy.
ROSE: So, it's close?
JACKIE: Funny sort of rocks.
NEWSREADER [on TV]: The first photographs
ROSE: That's not rocks
NEWSREADER [on TV]: This image is being transmitted via mission control, coming live from the depths of space on Christmas morning.

(It's an red-eyed ugly alien with a head like a goat's skull. It growls and gurgles at the screen.)

NEWSREADER: The face of an alien life form was transmitted live tonight on BBC1.
NEWSREADER 2: (USA) On the 25th of December, the human race has been shown absolute proof that alien life exists.
NEWSREADER 3: These remarkable images have been relayed right across the world.

[Tower of London]

(A cortege of black cars drive past the White Tower. Llewellyn is let out by a Secret Service officer and greeted by a man in Army uniform with a troop of Red Berets.)

BLAKE: This way, sir.

[UNIT HQ]

(Basement level 11 is a hive of industry.)

BLAKE: Mister Llewellyn.

(He is taken to a quieter room.)

LLEWELLYN: Mister Llewellyn, ma'am.

(Harriet flashes her ID.)

HARRIET: Harriet Jones. Prime Minister.
LLEWELLYN: Oh. Well, yes, I know who you are. I suppose I've ruined your Christmas.
HARRIET: Never off duty. Now, we've put out a cover story. Alex has been handling it.
ALEX: We've said it was a hoax. Some sort of mask or prosthetics. Students hi-jacking the signal, that sort of thing.
HARRIET: Alex is my right hand man. I'm not used to having a right hand man. I quite like it, though.
ALEX: I quite like it myself.
LLEWELLYN: I don't suppose there's any chance it was a hoax?
HARRIET: That would be nice. Then we could all go home. I don't suppose anyone's offered you a coffee?
LLEWELLYN: No.
HARRIET: But, no, the transmission was genuine. And this seems to be a new species of alien. At least, not one we've encountered before.

(Harriet gives him a cup of coffee.)

LLEWELLYN: You seem to be talking about aliens as a matter of fact.
HARRIET: There's an Act of Parliament banning my autobiography.
BLAKE: Prime Minister?
HARRIET: I'm with you.

(They go out into the main area.)

BLAKE: Miss Jacobs can explain.
HARRIET: I don't think we've been introduced. Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
SALLY: Yes, I know who you are. The transmission didn't come from the surface of Mars. Guinevere One was broadcasting from a point five thousand miles above the planet.
BLAKE: In other words, they've got a ship and the probe is on board.
LLEWELLYN: But if they're not from the surface, then they might not be from Mars itself. Maybe they're not actual Martians.
BLAKE: Of course not. Martians look completely different. We think the ship was in flight when they just came across the probe.
SALLY: And they're moving. The ship's still in flight now. We've got it on the Hubble array.
HARRIET: Moving in which direction?
SALLY: Towards us.
HARRIET: How fast?
SALLY: Very fast.
HARRIET: What was your name, again?
SALLY: Sally.
HARRIET: Thank you, Sally.

[The Tyler's flat]

MICKEY: Rose. Take a look. I've got access to the military. They're tracking a spaceship. It's big, it's fast, and it's coming this way.
ROSE: Coming for what, though? The Doctor?
MICKEY: I don't know. Maybe it's coming for all of us.

(Mickey gets a clear image of four of the aliens. UNIT has an even bigger picture of more of them.)

MICKEY: Have you seen them before?
ROSE: No.

[UNIT HQ]

(The alien leader is speaking an alien language.)

BLAKE: Translation software.
ALEX: Yes, sir.

[The Tyler's flat]

ROSE: I don't understand what they're saying. The TARDIS translates alien languages inside my head, all the time, wherever I am.
MICKEY: So, why isn't it doing it now?
ROSE: I don't know. Must be the Doctor. Like he's part of the circuit, and he's, he's broken.

[UNIT HQ]

BLAKE: I'm getting demands from Washington, ma'am. The President's insisting that he take control of the situation.
HARRIET: You can tell the President, and please use these exact words, he's not my boss, and he's certainly not turning this into a war.

(She goes to Alex.)

HARRIET: What have we got?
ALEX: Nothing yet. Translating an alien language is going to take time.
BLAKE: How far off is the ship?
ALEX: About five hours.

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

NEWS READER 2 [on TV]: Despite claims of an alien hoax, it's been reported that NATO forces are on red alert.
JACKIE: Oh, come on, sweetheart. What do you need? What is it you need? Tell me.
NEWSREADER [on TV]: Speaking strictly off the record, government sources are calling this our longest night.

[UNIT HQ]

HARRIET: I don't suppose we've had a Code Nine? No sign of the Doctor?
BLAKE: Nothing yet. You've met him, haven't you? More like the stuff of legend.
HARRIET: He is that. Failing him, what about Torchwood?
BLAKE: I-
HARRIET: I know I'm not supposed to know about it, I realise that. Not even the United Nations knows. But if ever there was a need for Torchwood, it's now.
BLAKE: I can't take responsibility.
HARRIET: I can. See to it. Get them ready.
ALEX: Prime Minister.
HARRIET: Has it worked?
ALEX: Just about. People. That could be cattle. You belong to us. To the Sycorax. They seem to be called Sycorax, not Martians. We own you. We now possess your land, your minerals, your precious stones. You will surrender or they will die. Sycorax strong, Sycorax mighty, Sycorax rock, as in the modern sense, they rock.
LLEWELLYN: They will die? Not you will die, they will die? Who's they?
ALEX: I don't know, but it is the right personal pronoun. It's they.
HARRIET: Send them a reply. Tell them, this is a day of peace on planet Earth. Tell them, we extend that peace to the Sycorax. And then tell them, this planet is armed and we do not surrender.
SALLY: Come on.

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

(Jackie has fallen asleep by the Doctor's bedside.)

ROSE: The Doctor wouldn't do this. The old Doctor, the proper Doctor, he'd wake up. He'd save us.
MICKEY: You really love him, don't you?

(Rose turns to Mickey and they hug.)

[UNIT HQ]

(Dawn breaks.)

SALLY: They got the message. Here comes the response.

(The Sycorax leader holds out his hand and a blue energy plays over it.)

HARRIET: What was that? Was that a reply?
ALEX: I don't know. It looked like some sort of energy, or static?
LLEWELLYN: Almost like someone casting a spell.

(Blue energy plays over Sally's head.)

LLEWELLYN: Maybe it's a different form of language, some sort of ideogram or pictogram.

(Two more woman and a man have the energy over their heads. They start to walk out.)

LLEWELLYN: What the hell? It's the light. It's the same light, Sally, what're you doing? Sally?
HARRIET: Oh, leave her. You'll hurt her.
BLAKE: Let them pass!
LLEWELLYN: Where are they going?

[Outside the flat]

(A blank faced man is walking along outside the Tyler's flat.)

SANDRA: What is wrong with you? Jason? Jason?

(Rose and Mickey come out.)

ROSE: Sandra?
SANDRA: He won't listen. He's just walking. He won't stop walking! There's this sort of light thing. Jason? Stop it right now! Please, Jason, just stop.

(Rose and Mickey look down to see lots of people walking through the estate.)

[UNIT HQ]

(Level 2 corridor, apparently.)

HARRIET: They're all heading in the same direction.
LLEWELLYN: It's only certain people. Why isn't it affecting us?
ALEX: Prime Minister, it's happening all over the country.

[Residential street]

WOMAN: Alan, come on, now stop this. It's not funny anymore. Come on, Alan, come back inside the house. Katrine. Katrine, listen to mummy. You come back inside now. And you, Jonathan. You come back in with mummy. Jonathon, come back in with mummy. You're scaring me now! Come on! Alan, help me out here, please.

(Somewhere else, a policeman is reporting in.)

POLICEMAN: As far as I can tell, they're heading for any sort of high-rise building. Anything with stairs, anything with steps.

[Staircase]

LLEWELLYN: They're going all the way up. They're going to the roof.
POLICEMAN: Just making my way to the front of the building now. There's hundreds of them. Oh, God. They've gone right to the edge. They're going to jump. They're all going to jump!

[Tower rooftop]

LLEWELLYN: Sally, stop it. It's Danny Llewellyn. Daniel Llewellyn. Sally, just concentrate. Listen to me. You're being controlled. We need you! Stop it, Sally!

[Flats rooftop]

SANDRA: Jason, I'm talking to you! Just stop!

(The controlled people all line up along the edge of the roofs.)

[UNIT HQ]

ALEX: It's not just the whole country. It's the whole world.

(Along the edge of the Coliseum, on apartment buildings.)

[Street level]

POLICEMAN: They've stopped. They've all stopped. They're just standing there, right on the edge.

[UNIT HQ]

ALEX: According to reports, it's like a third. One third of the world's population. That's two billion people ready to jump.

[Tower rooftop]

LLEWELLYN: Surrender or they will die.

[Flats rooftop]

MICKEY: What do we do?
ROSE: Nothing. There's no one to save us. Not anymore.

[UNIT HQ]

ALEX: Wait a minute. There is a pattern. All these people tend to be father and son, mother and daughter, brothers and sisters. Family groups, but not husbands and wives.
LLEWELLYN: Oh, my God. It's Guinevere One. Have you got medical records on file for all your staff?
ALEX: Of course we have, yes.

(Harriet takes Major Blake to one side.)

HARRIET: What about Torchwood?
BLAKE: Still working on it. Bear in mind they have just lost a third of their staff.
HARRIET: But do they have what we need?
BLAKE: Yes, ma'am.
HARRIET: Well, tell them to hurry up.
LLEWELLYN: Here it is. Sally Jacobs, blood group A Positive. Who else walked out?
ALEX: Luke Parsons.
LLEWELLYN: Luke Parsons, A Positive.
ALEX: Jeffery Baxter.
LLEWELYN: Baxter, A Positive. That's it. They're all A Positive.
BLAKE: How many people in the world are A Positive?
LLEWELLYN: No idea, but I bet it's one third.
BLAKE: What's so special about that blood group?
LLEWELLYN: Nothing, but it's my fault. Guinevere One. It's got one of those plaques identifying the human race. A message to the stars. I mean, you don't expect anything to come of it, but I put on maps and music and samples. There's wheat seeds, and water, and, and blood. A Positive. The Sycorax have got a vial of A Positive. And, well, I don't know how, but through that-
HARRIET: They control the blood.
LLEWELLYN: Oh, my God.
HARRIET: There's only one more thing I can try. Major, with me.

[Studio]

(With Union flags draped either side, Harriet Jones, PM, sits in a panelled room at a desk with a photograph of Her Majesty on it for her broadcast to the nation.)

HARRIET: Ladies and gentlemen, if I may take a moment during this terrible time. It's hardly the Queen's speech. I'm afraid that's been cancelled. (to an aide) Did we ask about the royal family? Oh. They're on the roof.

[The Tyler's flat]

HARRIET [on TV]: But, ladies and gentlemen, this crisis is unique, and I'm afraid to say, it might get much worse. I would ask you all to remain calm. But I have one request. Doctor, if you're out there, we need you. I don't know what to do. If you can hear me, Doctor. If anyone knows the Doctor, if anyone can find him, the situation has never been more desperate. Help us. Please, Doctor. Help us. God help us.

(Rose bursts into tears.)

ROSE: He's gone. The Doctor's gone. He's left me, mum. He's left me, mum.
JACKIE: It's all right. I'm sorry.

(Suddenly, all the glass in the block of flats shatters. The Gherkin (St Mary Axe) also shatters, indicating that it is at least city-wide.)

[UNIT HQ]

LLEWELLYN: Sonic wave! It's the spaceship. It's hit the atmosphere!

(All the non-possessed people turn to look. Rose and Mickey go outside amongst the glass shards to watch this big powered rock with nasty pointy bits glide overhead, as big as Westminster.)

[The Tyler's flat - bedroom]

ROSE: Mickey, we're going to carry him. Mum, get your stuff, and get some food. We're going.
MICKEY: Where to?
ROSE: The TARDIS. It's the only safe place on Earth.
JACKIE: What're we going to do in there?
ROSE: Hide.
JACKIE: Is that it?
ROSE: Mum, look in the sky. There's a great, big, alien invasion and I don't know what to do, all right? I've travelled with him, and I've seen all that stuff, but when I'm stuck at home, I'm useless. Now, all we can do is run and hide, and I'm sorry. Now, move. Oh, lift him up.

[UNIT HQ]

LLEWELLYN: They're transmitting. Onscreen.

(The Sycorax leader speaks, and Alex translates.)

ALEX: Will the leader of this world stand forward.
HARRIET: I'm proud to represent this planet.
ALEX: Come aboard.
HARRIET: Well, how do I do that?

(Harriet, Blake, Alex and Llewellyn are enveloped in light.)

LLEWELLYN: What's happening?
HARRIET: I would imagine it's called a teleport.

[Spaceship]

(The four are beamed aboard into a massive cavern. More aliens are lined up in galleries. The leader walks up to them and starts to remove -)

LLEWELLYN: It's a helmet. They might be like us.

(The face underneath is flatter, but still bony.)

LLEWELLYN: Or not.

[Outside the flat]

(Rose and Mickey carry the Doctor while Jackie struggles with half a dozen carrier bags.)

ROSE: Mum, will you just leave that stuff and give us a hand?
JACKIE: It's food! You said we need food.
ROSE: Just leave it!

[Spaceship]

(The leader speaks.)

ALEX: You will surrender, or I will release the final curse and your people will jump.
LLEWELLYN: If I can speak.
BLAKE: Mister Llewellyn, you're a civilian.
LLEWELLYN: No, I sent out the probe. I started it. I made contact with these people. This whole thing's my responsibility. With respect sir. The human race is taking it's first step towards the stars, but we are like children compared to you. Children who need help. Children who need compassion. I beg of you now, show that compassion.

(The Sycorax raises a glittering force-whip, cracks it around Llewellyn's neck and disintegrates his flesh.)

BLAKE: That man was your prisoner! Even your species must have articles of war, forbidding-

(And he gets the same treatment. Now there are two skeletons in heaps on the floor.)

HARRIET: Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
ALEX: "Yes, we know who you are. Surrender or they will die".
HARRIET: If I do surrender, how would that be better?
ALEX: "Half is sold into slavery or one third dies. Your choice".

[TARDIS]

MICKEY: No chance you could fly this thing?
ROSE: Not anymore, no.
MICKEY: Well, you did it before.
ROSE: I know, but it's sort of been wiped out of my head, like it's forbidden. Try that again and I think the Universe rips in half.
MICKEY: Ah, better not, then.
ROSE: Maybe not.
MICKEY: So, what do we do? Just sit here?
ROSE: That's as good as it gets.
JACKIE: Right, here we go. Nice cup of tea.

(Jackie has brought a flask.)

ROSE: Mmm, the solution to everything.
JACKIE: Now, stop your moaning. I'll get the rest of the food.

(Jackie leaves.)

MICKEY: Tea. Like we're having a picnic while the world comes to an end. Very British. How does this thing work? If it picks up TV, maybe we could see what's going on out there. Maybe we've surrendered. What do you do to it?
ROSE: I don't know. It sort of tunes itself.

[Spaceship]

ALEX: The noise. The bleeping. They say it's machinery. Foreign machinery. They're accusing us of hiding it. Conspiring. Bring it on board.

[Powell Estate]

JACKIE: Rose?

(The TARDIS is beamed up.)

JACKIE: Rose!

[TARDIS]

(There's an odd pattern on the scanner.)

MICKEY: Maybe it's a distress signal.
ROSE: A fat lot of good that's going to do.
MICKEY: Are you going to be a misery all the time?
ROSE: Yes.
MICKEY: You should look at it from my point of view, stuck in here with your mum's cooking.
ROSE: Where is she? I'd better give her a hand. It might start raining missiles out there.
MICKEY: Tell her anything from a tin, that's fine.
ROSE: Why don't you tell her yourself?
MICKEY: I'm not that brave.
ROSE: Oh, I don't know.

(Rose steps outside and is grabbed by a Sycorax. She screams.)

MICKEY: Rose?

(Mickey drops the open flask of tea near where the Doctor is lying.)

[Spaceship]

ROSE: Get off! Get off me!

(Mickey runs out.)

ROSE: The door! Close the door!

(He gets there just before a Sycorax. The tea drips down onto TARDIS workings underneath the time console. The Sycorax cheer.)

HARRIET: Rose. Rose! I've got you. My Lord. Oh, my precious thing. The Doctor, is he with you?
ROSE: No. We're on our own.

(Tea vapour rises through the floor grating and the Doctor breaths it in, exhaling more golden energy.)

ALEX: "The yellow girl. She has the clever blue box. Therefore, she speaks for your planet".
HARRIET: But she can't.
ROSE: Yeah, I can.
MICKEY: Don't you dare.
ROSE: Someone's got to be the Doctor.
HARRIET: They'll kill you.
ROSE: Never stopped him. I, er, I address the Sycorax according to Article Fifteen of the Shadow Proclamation. I command you to leave this world with all the authority of the Slitheen Parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorius, and er, the Gelth Confederacy as er, sanctioned by the Mighty Jagrafess and, oh, the Daleks! Now, leave this planet in peace! In peace.

(The Sycorax all burst into laughter.)

ALEX: "You are very, very funny. And now you're going to die".
HARRIET: Leave her alone!
MICKEY: Don't touch her!
HARRIET: Leave her alone.

(Harriet and Mickey are held back as the leader walks up to Rose.)

ALEX: "Did you think you were clever with your stolen words? We are the Sycorax, we stride the darkness. Next to us you are but a wailing child. If you are the best your planet can offer as a champion-"
SYCORAX: Then your world will be gutted
ALEX: "Then your world will be gutted"
SYCORAX: And your people enslaved.
ALEX: Hold on, that's English.
HARRIET: He's talking English.
ROSE: You're talking English.
SYCORAX: I would never dirty my tongue with your primitive bile.
ROSE: That's English. Can you hear English?
MICKEY: Yeah, that's English.
ALEX: Definitely English.
SYCORAX: I speak only Sycoraxic!
ROSE: If I can hear English, then it's being translated. Which means it's working. Which means-

(Everyone turns to look at the TARDIS. The Doctor opens the doors.)

DOCTOR: Did you miss me?

(The Sycorax cracks his whip. The Doctor catches the end and pulls it out of his hand.)

DOCTOR: You could have someone's eye out with that.
SYCORAX: How dare!

(The Doctor takes a thick club off another Sycorax and breaks it across his knee.)

DOCTOR: You just can't get the staff. Now, you, just wait. I'm busy. Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones MP for Flydale North. Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life. Tea! That's all I needed, a good cup of tea! Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. Just the thing for healing the synapses. Now, first thing's first. Be honest, how do I look?
ROSE: Er, different.
DOCTOR: Good different or bad different?
ROSE: Just different.
DOCTOR: Am I ginger?
ROSE: No, you're just sort of brown.
DOCTOR: I wanted to be ginger. I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler, fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me. Oh, that's rude. That's the sort of man I am now, am I? Rude. Rude and not ginger.
HARRIET: I'm sorry. Who is this?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor.
ROSE: He's the Doctor.
HARRIET: But what happened to my Doctor? Or is it a title that's just passed on?
DOCTOR: I'm him. I'm literally him. Same man, new face. Well, new everything.
HARRIET: But you can't be.
DOCTOR: Harriet Jones, we were trapped in Downing Street and the one thing that scared you wasn't the aliens, it wasn't the war, it was the thought of your mother being on her own.
HARRIET: Oh, my God.
DOCTOR: Did you win the election?
HARRIET: Landslide majority.
SYCORAX: If I might interrupt.
DOCTOR: Yes, sorry. Hello, big fellow.
SYCORAX: Who exactly are you?
DOCTOR: Well, that's the question.
SYCORAX: I demand to know who you are!
DOCTOR: I don't know! See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right handed? Left handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob. And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess. It's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it?

(The Doctor opens the base of the pillar under the button.)

DOCTOR: And what've we got here? Blood? Yeah, definitely blood. Human blood. A Positive, with just a dash of iron. Ah, but that means blood control. Blood control! Oh, I haven't seen blood control for years. You're controlling all the A Positives. Which leaves us with a great big stinking problem. Because I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then I just want to do this.

(He hits the button.)

ROSE + HARRIET: No!

[Flats rooftop]

(Everyone takes a step forward then stops. The blue energy flickers then the people look around, confused.)

JASON: What the hell am I doing up here?
SANDRA: Get away from the edge!

[Spaceship]

ALEX: You killed them!
DOCTOR: What do you think, big fellow? Are they dead?
SYCORAX: We allow them to live.
DOCTOR: Allow? You've no choice. I mean, that's all blood control is. A cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off you, but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnosis. You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis. You can't hypnotise them to death. Survival instinct's too strong.
SYCORAX: Blood control was just one form of conquest. I can summon the armada and take this world by force.
DOCTOR: Well, yeah, you could, yeah, you could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people. These human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than. No, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!
SYCORAX: Or what?
DOCTOR: Or

(The Doctor takes a sword from an aide and runs back towards the TARDIS.)

DOCTOR: I challenge you.

(General laughter.)

DOCTOR: Oh, that struck a chord. Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?
SYCORAX: You stand as this world's champion.
DOCTOR: Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you just summed me up.

(The Doctor throws his dressing gown to Rose.)

DOCTOR: So, you accept my challenge? Or are you just a cranak pel casacree salvak?

(This insult makes up the leader's mind.)

SYCORAX: For the planet?
DOCTOR: For the planet.

(They clash swords.)

ROSE: Look out!
DOCTOR: Oh, yeah, that helps. Wouldn't have thought of that otherwise, thanks.

(The leader is the more experienced swordsman. The Doctor retreats up a tunnel.)

DOCTOR: Bit of fresh air?

[Spaceship hull]

(And out into the day light. The Doctor is driven back to the edge, and hit on the nose.)

DOCTOR: Stay back! Invalidate the challenge and he wins the planet.

(The leader knocks the Doctor down then slashes. The sword and a hand fall to Earth.)

DOCTOR: You cut my hand off.
SYCORAX: Ya! Sycorax!
DOCTOR: And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky. Because quite by chance I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I've got just enough residual cellular energy to do this.

(He grows a new hand.)

SYCORAX: Witchcraft.
DOCTOR: Time Lord.
ROSE: Doctor!

(Rose throws him another sword.)

DOCTOR: Oh, so I'm still the Doctor, then?
ROSE: No arguments from me!
DOCTOR: Want to know the best bit? This new hand? It's a fighting hand!

(They fight again. The Doctor disarms the Sycorax and thumps both hilts into it's abdomen, twice. It falls, right on the edge, overlooking London.)

DOCTOR: I win.
SYCORAX: Then kill me.
DOCTOR: I'll spare your life if you'll take this Champion's command. Leave this planet, and never return. What do you say?
SYCORAX: Yes.
DOCTOR: Swear on the blood of your species.
SYCORAX: I swear.
DOCTOR: There we are, then. Thanks for that. Cheers, big fellow.
HARRIET: Bravo!
ROSE: That says it all. Bravo!
DOCTOR: Ah, not bad for a man in his jim-jams.

(Rose helps him on with the dressing gown.)

DOCTOR: Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man. Hold on, what have I got in here? A satsuma. Ah, that friend of your mothers. He does like his snacks doesn't he? But doesn't that just sum up Christmas? You go through all those presents and right at the end, tucked away at the bottom, there's always one stupid old satsuma. Who wants a satsuma?

(The Sycorax leader gets up, grabs his sword and runs at the Doctor's back. The Doctor throws the satsuma at a control on the spaceship hull, a piece of the wing opens up and the leader falls to his death.)

DOCTOR: No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.

[Spaceship]

DOCTOR: By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of time. And when go you back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of it's riches, it's people, it's potential. When you talk of the Earth, then make sure that you tell them this. It is defended.

(The TARDIS, Harriet, Alex, Rose, Mickey and the Doctor are beamed away.)

[Road]

ROSE: Where are we?
MICKEY: We're just off Bloxom Road. We're just round the corner, we did it!
DOCTOR: Wait a minute, wait a minute.

(The spaceship flies away.)

MICKEY: Go on, my son! Oh, yeah!
ROSE: Yeah! Don't come back!
MICKEY: It is defended!

(Rose and Mickey hug, then Rose hugs Alex.)

HARRIET: My Doctor.
DOCTOR: Prime Minister.

(They hug.)

HARRIET: Absolutely the same man. Are there many more out there?
DOCTOR: Oh, not just Sycorax. Hundreds of species. Thousands of them. And the human race is drawing attention to itself. Every day you're sending out probes and messages and signals. This planet's so noisy. You're getting noticed more and more. You'd better get used to it.
JACKIE: Rose!
ROSE: Mum!
DOCTOR: Oh, talking of trouble.
JACKIE: Oh, my God! You did it, Rose! Oh!

(Alex answers a phone call.)

ROSE: You did it too! It was the tea. Fixed his head.
DOCTOR: That was all I needed, cup of tea.
JACKIE: I said so.
ROSE: Look at him.
JACKIE: Is it him, though? Is it really the Doctor? Oh, my God, it's the bleeding Prime Minister!
DOCTOR: Come here, you.

(Group hug.)

JACKIE: Are you better?
DOCTOR: I am, yeah.
ALEX: It's a message from Torchwood. They say they're ready.
JACKIE: You left me.
ROSE: I'm sorry.
JACKIE: I had all the food.
HARRIET: Tell them to fire.
ALEX: Fire at will.

(Five green beams streak up into the sky, meet and fire out into space. The Sycorax asteroid ship goes KaBOOM!)

ROSE: What is that? What's happening?
DOCTOR: That was murder.
HARRIET: That was defence. It's adapted from alien technology. A ship that fell to Earth ten years ago.
DOCTOR: But they were leaving.
HARRIET: You said yourself, Doctor, they'd go back to the stars and tell others about the Earth. I'm sorry, Doctor, but you're not here all the time. You come and go. It happened today. Mister Llewellyn and the Major, they were murdered. They died right in front of me while you were sleeping. In which case we have to defend ourselves.
DOCTOR: Britain's Golden Age.
HARRIET: It comes with a price.
DOCTOR: I gave them the wrong warning. I should've told them to run as fast as they can, run and hide because the monsters are coming. The human race.
HARRIET: Those are the people I represent. I did it on their behalf.
DOCTOR: Then I should have stopped you.
HARRIET: What does that make you, Doctor? Another alien threat?
DOCTOR: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones, because I'm a completely new man. I could bring down your Government with a single word.
HARRIET: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met, but I don't think you're quite capable of that.
DOCTOR: No, you're right. Not a single word, just six.
HARRIET: I don't think so.
DOCTOR: Six words.
HARRIET: Stop it!
DOCTOR: Six.

(The Doctor goes over to Alex and whispers in his ear.)

DOCTOR: Don't you think she looks tired?

(The Doctor, Rose, Mickey and Jackie leave.)

HARRIET: What did he say?
ALEX: Oh, well, nothing, really.
HARRIET: What did he say?
ALEX: Nothing. I don't know.
HARRIET: Doctor! Doctor, what did you? What was that? What did he say? What did you say, Doctor? Doctor! I'm sorry.

[The Tyler's flat]

(The Doctor is picking himself a new outfit in the TARDIS wardrobe, and considers David's Casanova costume. We hear the specially written Song For Ten by Murray Gold sung by Tim Phillips.)

SINGER: When I woke up today and the world seemed a restless place, it could have been that way for me.

(Mickey, Rose and Jackie are back at the flat having Christmas dinner. Mickey carves the turkey.)

SINGER: Then I wandered around and I thought of your face that Christmas looking back at me.

(The Doctor finds a brown pinstripe suit and long brown coat. He leaves the wardrobe past the old hat stand with a long scarf on it.)

SINGER: I wish today was just like every other day. Cause today has been the best day.

(The Doctor is back to a nice suit and tie.)

SINGER: Everything I ever dreamed. Then I started to walk, pretty soon I will run. And I'll be running back to you. Because I followed my star, and that's what you are. I've had a merry time with you.

(The Doctor enters. The dinner progresses to the crackers.)

SINGER: I wish today was just like every other day.
DOCTOR: Oh, that's yours.
ROSE: It's pink! Mum, it should be yours. Look, it's Harriet Jones.

(That television is never switched off BBC24, it seems.)

MAN [on TV]: Prime Minister, is it true you are no longer fit to be in position?
HARRIET [on TV]: No. Now, can we talk about other things?
MAN [on TV]: Is it true you're unfit for office?

(The Doctor puts on a pair of spectacles to watch the interview.)

HARRIET [on TV]: Look, there is nothing wrong with my health. I don't know where these stories are coming from. And a vote of no confidence is completely unjustified.
MAN [on TV]: Are you going to resign?

(The telephone rings.)

HARRIET [on TV]: On today of all days, I'm fine. Look at me, I'm fine. I look fine, I feel fine.
JACKIE: It's Beth. She says go and look outside.
ROSE: Why?
JACKIE: I don't know, just go outside and look. Come on, shift!

[Powell Estate]

(The ground is covered with white flakes falling from the sky. Streaks of light cris-cross the sky.)

ROSE: Oh, it's beautiful. What are they, meteors?
DOCTOR: It's the spaceship breaking up in the atmosphere. This isn't snow, it's ash.
ROSE: Okay, not so beautiful.
DOCTOR: This is a brand new planet Earth. No denying the existence of aliens now. Everyone saw it. Everything's new.
ROSE: And what about you? What are you going to do next?
DOCTOR: Well, back to the TARDIS. Same old life.
ROSE: On your own?
DOCTOR: Why, don't you want to come?
ROSE: Well, yeah.
DOCTOR: Do you, though?
ROSE: Yeah!
DOCTOR: I just thought, because I changed.
ROSE: Yeah, I thought, because you changed you might not want me anymore.
DOCTOR: Oh, I'd love you to come,
ROSE: Okay.
MICKEY: You're never going to stay, are you?
ROSE: There's just so much out there. So much to see. I've got to.
MICKEY: Yeah.
JACKIE: Well, I reckon you're mad, the pair of you. It's like you go looking for trouble.
DOCTOR: Trouble's just the bits in-between. It's all waiting out there, Jackie, and it's brand new to me. All those planets, and creatures and horizons. I haven't seem them yet! Not with these eyes. And it is going to be fantastic.
ROSE: That hand of yours still gives me the creeps.

(She takes hold of it anyway.)

ROSE: So, where're we going to go first?
DOCTOR: Er, that way. No, hold on. That way.

(He points up.)

ROSE: That way?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
ROSE: Yeah, that way.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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