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TARDIS Guide

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[TARDIS]

(The Doctor and Rory are working on the TARDIS - Rory down below, under the glass floor, and the Doctor above)

AMY: Hey

DOCTOR: Hey!

AMY: Listen, can we talk?

DOCTOR: Rory!

AMY: No, shut up, I've just got a question that's all.

RORY: Are you okay up there?

DOCTOR: Yeah, fine, no problem.

AMY: What are you doing?

RORY: Helping the Doctor. Um, it's humming, is that okay?

DOCTOR: Yeah it's fine we're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana, or anything curved, actually don't because it's not curved or like a banana - forget the banana!

AMY: Er, is he helping you fly the TARDIS?

DOCTOR: Attach thermo couplings two, seven, and eleven, like I showed you!

AMY: How come he gets a go, you never let me have a go!

RORY: Er Doctor, don't! Seriously, I let her drive my car once.

AMY: Yeah, to the end of the road!

RORY: Yeah where, according to Amy, there was an unexpected house!

AMY: Aww he's jealous because I passed my test first time!

RORY: You cheated. You wore a skirt.

AMY: I didn't wear a skirt.

RORY: Well that would have worked, too.

AMY: No, no, I did wear a skirt, but it was any old skirt.

RORY: Have you ever seen Amy drive, Doctor?

DOCTOR: No!

RORY: Neither did her driving examiner.

AMY: Actually, it was this one. It was this skirt!

(A loud crash, the TARDIS collapses to one side, the lights go out)

AMY: What was that?

DOCTOR: Rory! Did you drop a thermo coupling?!

RORY: Sorry.

DOCTOR: Ah! How did you do that, I told you don't drop them, I specifically mentioned not dropping!

AMY: It was my fault.

DOCTOR: Of course it wasn't your fault.

RORY: It kind of was her fault.

DOCTOR: How could it be her fault?

AMY: Because it was my skirt, and my husband, and your glass floor.

DOCTOR: Oh, Rory!

RORY: Sorry.

DOCTOR: Well, we've landed. Emergency materialisation, should be fine, should have locked onto the safest space availale.

(The Doctor pulls a switch and the lights come back on - the TARDIS is parked in itself)

AMY: Doctor, what's happened?

DOCTOR: The safest spot available. The TARDIS has materialised inside itself.

RORY: Is that supposed to happen?

DOCTOR: Take a guess.

RORY: No?

DOCTOR: That's the one.

(The Doctor places his hand on the TARDIS)

AMY: Woah, what are you doing?

DOCTOR: I've absolutely no idea.

(The Doctor enters the TARDIS and comes in again through the main TARDIS door)

AMY: Okay, that is a bit weird.

(The Doctor puts his hand through the door and it comes out the other door)

RORY: (laughs) That is actually pretty cool.

DOCTOR: Oh, I'm glad you're entertained Rory, now that we're stuck here for all eternity at least you won't be bored.

AMY: Wait, what, we're stuck?

DOCTOR: The inside of the TARDIS is now joined to the outside of the TARDIS. Worse than a time loop, a space loop. Nothing can enter or leave this ship ever again.

(A second Amy enters the TARDIS)

AMY 2: Okay kids, this is where it gets complicated!

(To be continued)

Transcript by Shauny. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.