[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is bouncing a ball and looks out at the Space-Time Manipulator in the main hall. He looks at a moving picture of his wife and children and sighs.)

[The sitting room]

(Starkey is sat next to a chessboard with a box of biscuits on it. Darius walks in, picks up the box and sees that it is empty.)

DARIUS: You ate all the biscuits. You could have at least put the box in the bin.

(Starkey stands up.)

STARKEY: It’s not like I want to be here.
DARIUS: Well, the feeling’s mutual. Why don’t you take a hike, huh?

(Darius sits down. K9 flies in.)

K9: Because as soon as he steps outside, the Jixen will locate him and tear him limb from limb.
STARKEY: I can’t just sit around waiting to be dismembered. Why don’t I go out and get this stupid Jixen before it gets me?
K9: Calculating odds of human defeating Jixen. 4,300,002,003 to 1.
STARKEY: Yeah, you’d be the 1.

(The doorbell rings. Starkey gasps. Darius gets up and walks over to him.)

DARIUS: Relax, doofus. Our enemies tend to storm in, not use the bell.

[Main hall]

(Jorjie walks in through the front door. Starkey and Darius meet her in the main hall.)

STARKEY: Jorjie. What are you doing here? You could’ve been followed.
JORJIE: I’m not stupid.
DARIUS: Yeah, she knows what she’s doing.
JORJIE: What’s happening with the time machine?
DARIUS: Oh, the prof. He turned it off, didn’t you, prof?

(Gryffen is in the laboratory doorway.)

GRYFFEN: Oh, yes.
JORJIE: I thought we could go somewhere. Back in the past. The Dark Ages. London 2010.
DARIUS: Don’t encourage him. That thing’s dangerous. I mean, I don’t know, what if a dinosaur came through or something? We’d be all torn apart before we could get through the front– (The Space-Time Manipulator powers up.) Hey, I thought you said you’d turned it off?
GRYFFEN: What? I thought I had.
DARIUS: I warned you.

(The vortex of light disappears, leaving a pair of rats.)

GRYFFEN: Oh, great.
JORJIE: They’re rats.
STARKEY: Yeah, some dinosaur.
DARIUS: Yeah, well, it could’ve been.

(Darius recoils as a rat heads in his direction. K9 flies in.)

K9: Professor! Professor Gryffen!
GRYFFEN: What is it, K9?
K9: Jixen. It’s alive and on the move.

[Outdoors elsewhere in London]

(The Jixen is on the move.)

[The laboratory]

(K9 is looking out of the window.)

K9: 3.2 miles north, heading south. Coordinates 28.45 north by 28.56 east.
GRYFFEN: What would they find of interest in that area?
STARKEY: It must be where the prison is you dragged me to.

(Jorjie carries a map over to the table.)

JORJIE: On our next date, I’ll take you somewhere that serves dinner.
DARIUS: Well, I like Italian.
GRYFFEN: What prison?
JORJIE: The Department keeps captured aliens there. They have no rights. It’s so inhumane.
STARKEY: Duh. So are they.
JORJIE: It’s unfair. No one knows what they do to the prisoners.
DARIUS: Why would a stupid Jixen go to an alien prison? To give himself up?
K9: Meron.
DARIUS: Hey, who are you calling a moron?
JORJIE: He said “Meron”, moron. What’s a Meron?

(An image of a Meron appears on a screen.)

GRYFFEN: The enemy of the Jixen. And highly dangerous to boot.
STARKEY: So, we go to the prison, get the Jixen before it gets me.
K9: Negative. The last thing you’ll want to get caught in is a battle between Meron and the Jixen. Whole planets have been wiped out.

(Jorjie’s phone rings.)

JORJIE: It’s Mum. I’ve got to go. (She heads off.) Hello, Mum. No, I’m fine.
K9: Can the Mermaids of Gorgol XIII suck dinner through their nostrils?

(Starkey goes to leave.)

GRYFFEN: Wait. K9. (Darius leaves. The screen shows the Tower of London.) Can you go explore this prison? See what the Jixen is up to?
K9: Can the Mermaids of Gorgol XIII suck dinner through their nostrils?
GRYFFEN: Uh.
K9: The answer is yes but with great discomfort, which I’m sure is what I’m about to go through.

[Above London]

(K9 flies.)

[The garage/outside Gryffen’s mansion]

(Darius is working on Mariah and Starkey is sat on the mansion’s front steps.)

STARKEY: We need to be out there helping K9 get rid of the Jixen.
DARIUS: I’m sure the robo-dog can look after himself. Besides, you heard the prof. He said no way.

(Starkey gets up and walks over to Darius.)

STARKEY: What are you, chicken? Scared of a little rat. What do you actually do for the professor, anyway?
DARIUS: Protect him from idiots like you.
STARKEY: Jorjie would go with me.

(Darius thinks for a moment.)

DARIUS: What do I get out of this, huh?
STARKEY: What do you want?
DARIUS: You, gone.
STARKEY: Suits me.
DARIUS: No, I’m serious. We go in, we get them out and once we get out, you don’t come back. And you say something nice to Jorjie about me.
STARKEY: Fine.
DARIUS: Alrighty. Hello, Mariah!
MARIAH: Checking voice.
DARIUS: Let’s go for a drive.
MARIAH: Voice recognition approved. Hello, Darius. Driver’s door open. Passenger door open.

(Starkey and Darius get inside the car.)

DARIUS: Alrighty. Let’s go for a ride.

(Darius touches a screen with a map on it.)

MARIAH: Directional mapping drive on. Initiating startup sequence. Autodrive mode engaged. Relax and enjoy the drive.

(Mariah starts moving.)

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is watching the screen. The screen shows K9’s view of Dauntless Prison.)

K9: (OC) Alien heat signature increasing.
GRYFFEN: Be careful, K9. Careful you’re not detected. K9, maybe you should back off.
K9: Negative.
GRYFFEN: Couldn’t they have integrated just a little bit of kitten into you?

[Dauntless Prison]

(K9 flies above the prison, which is orbited by flying spheres.)

[Department vehicle]

(Alarm sounds.)

DEPARTMENT MAN: Unidentified flying device observed outside main Department facility.
DRAKE: Monitor it.

[London street]

(One of the spheres flies along a street.)

DARIUS: Well, what did you expect?
STARKEY: I expect that when you have a car you use it, not park so far away we have to walk a mile.
DARIUS: Hey, you don’t park at the front door when you’re trying to sneak in the backdoor. Plus, you’re not a paying customer.

[Department vehicle]

DEPARTMENT MAN: The UFO is in the Department exclusion zone.
DRAKE: Then exclude it.
DEPARTMENT MAN: Firing now.

[Dauntless Prison]

(The spheres shoot at K9, who flees.)

[London street]

STARKEY: Look, let’s just get in there, find K9 and get out. The quicker the better.
DARIUS: Yeah, well that’s fine by me. (Gestures.) Where do you think he is, then?

(A sphere shoots K9 out of the sky. He lands in a bin behind Starkey and Darius.)

STARKEY: He could be anywhere.
DARIUS: Right. Well, let’s not hang about. This place is weird enough.

[The laboratory]

(The screen shows K9’s view of a can of beans in the bin. It cuts out.)

GRYFFEN: K9? K9? (K9 powers down.) K9? K9?

[Tunnel]

(Starkey and Darius climb down a ladder into the sewers. Darius waves his hand in front of his nose because of the smell.)

STARKEY: Don’t be such a sook.

(Their way is barred by a giant grate.)

DARIUS: Now what?

(Starkey takes out a device and starts working on a panel.)

STARKEY: Now I work my magic. How about you? Got any tricks?
DARIUS: Whose idea was it to come down here in the first place?
STARKEY: Come where? These tunnels just run on forever. They could take us anywhere.
DARIUS: Yeah, well, it sure beats your idea which was… Oh, oh, yeah. Nothing.
STARKEY: Well, I’m not wasting any more of my time.

(Starkey deliberately bumps into Darius as he walks away.)

DARIUS: Oh, fine, fine. Good luck finding your way out of this joint because as I recall, you had… (Darius leans against a brick wall which collapses, revealing a passage.) Help!

(Starkey runs over and helps Darius up.)

STARKEY: What happened?
DARIUS: Lousy brickwork, that’s what happened.
STARKEY: Did you hear that? An electric hum. I think you’ve managed to stumble upon the actual entrance to the building.
DARIUS: What do you mean, stumble?
STARKEY: You fell through a wall.
DARIUS: Pushed. Pushed through a wall in the process of searching.
STARKEY: Well, if you were searching then why did you call for help?
DARIUS: It wasn’t me.

(Darius heads down the newly revealed passageway.)

STARKEY: What do you mean it wasn’t you? There’s no one else here!
DARIUS: I don’t know what you heard, man.

(Starkey follows.)

STARKEY: What, you think a rat called for help?
DARIUS: It could’ve done.
STARKEY: A rat in the middle of the sewer called for help?
DARIUS: Or was his name Starkey?

[Dauntless Prison]

(Starkey and Darius peer around a corner and see two scientists experimenting on an alien strapped to a table.)

STARKEY: Can you see K9?
DARIUS: What are they doing up there?
STARKEY: Don’t know. We need to find K9.

(A CCPC puts its hand on Darius’s shoulder.)

CCPC: I’m sure that can be arranged.

(Starkey blows his dog whistle.)

[The laboratory]

(An alert sounds and the screen starts to show K9’s view in the bin again.)

GRYFFEN: Starkey? K9!

[Dauntless Prison]

(The CCPC escorts Starkey and Darius through a corridor. They pass aliens imprisoned in cells.)

CCPC: Keep moving, keep moving, you. Look lively. Hurry up. To the left now. Keep moving, keep moving.

[The laboratory]

GRYFFEN: K9. One word, even a disagreeable one. It shouldn’t be so difficult for a machine of your stubborn nature. K9, respond! Please respond!

[Dauntless Prison cells]

CCPC: Keep moving, keep moving.
STARKEY: Don’t look.
DARIUS: Don’t look at what?
CCPC: Hurry up. Look lively. To the left now. Hurry up.

(They pass an alien which chatters in an alien language. They turn a corner to find more cells.)

DARIUS: Where did they all come from?
STARKEY: There’s a lot we don’t know about the Department.
CCPC: Attention!

(They stop and Thorne approaches.)

THORNE: Our intruders. You want to share the fate of your alien friends? (CCPC presses a button on the wall. Thorne opens the nearest cell in which a horned blue alien is trapped.) Meet Mr Whiffy.
DARIUS: Whoa, you’re not wrong! (The CCPC forces Starkey and Darius into the cell.) You can’t keep us in here.
CCPC: Locked up, gov.
DARIUS: Why charge us?

(June arrives.)

JUNE: Yes, he can since you asked. You again! Starkey, the boy everyone’s looking for. (Turns to Thorne.) They’re not to be harmed.
THORNE: I’m in charge of this prison.
JUNE: And I’m a Department inspector in charge of alien threats. And, Thorne, might I suggest in future your prisoners are searched before you blab your face off. (June takes a device from Darius’s pocket.) Hello, Alistair.

[The laboratory / Dauntless Prison cells]

(June’s face appears on the laboratory screen.)

GRYFFEN: Yes, yes, I’m here, June. Why are the Department imprisoning aliens?
JUNE: We’re simply cataloguing so we have a record on file for the future. If any of these alien-types commit a crime on Earth, we’ll know what we’re looking for.
GRYFFEN: And what if they’re innocent?
JUNE: Would you have them wandering around London?
GRYFFEN: They should just be sent back home.
JUNE: We’ve tried. No, Gryffen. This is the only way. (She ends the call and turns to Starkey.) And you will be returned to virtual detention where I understand your sentence will be reset to Day 1, plus an extra six months for escaping. That’s a year, all up.
STARKEY: Oh, come on!
JUNE: Unless… Tell me where I can find this cyborg from the future, K9. If you do, I’ll organise your release immediately. Both of you.
DARIUS: Sure, we’ll give you the dog.
STARKEY: No way. No deal.
JUNE: Fine. You can both stay here until the guards arrive to take you back to virtual detention. I’m sure your friend here will enjoy hanging out with Mr Whiffy.
DARIUS: Ma’am, look.

(June leaves.)

[The laboratory / bin]

(Gryffen is pacing.)

GRYFFEN: Oh, come on, K9! (He looks at the moving picture of his family, then walks up to the screen.) Now, you listen to me. If you survive this and they don’t, you’ll never forgive yourself. You’ll never get past that you weren’t there for them. Listen to this and try and resist. (He starts bouncing a ball.) Come on!
K9: Professor.

(Gryffen stops bouncing the ball.)

GRYFFEN: K9! You’re alive.

(K9 flies out of the bin.)

K9: Of course I’m alive! My living metal frame required downtime to attune to the energy signatures of the Department’s weaponry. My combat conditioning system has now done its job.
GRYFFEN: And what are you waiting for?! The boys are trapped in Dauntless Prison!

(K9 flies to Dauntless Prison.)

[Dauntless Prison cells]

DARIUS: Look, I’m telling you, just give up the tin mutt. Anyway, if the Jixen’s here, you’re trapped. Done for. (A door opens.) Here, what’s that?
STARKEY: Jorjie!

(Jorjie approaches.)

JORJIE: Ugh, it’s awful! The stinky blue one’s a bit of alright, though.
DARIUS: Jorjie, you –
JORJIE: You boys can’t do a thing without me, can you?
STARKEY: How did you find us?
JORJIE: I tracked Mariah’s autodrive and then followed you here. Then all I had to do was follow the sound of bickering through the tunnels.
DARIUS: Oh, well. Whew. You smell worse than Mr Whiffy, here.
JORJIE: (Scoffs.) How do I get you guys out of here?
STARKEY: You can’t.
DARIUS: Yes, you can. (He hands a device through the bars.) Swipe this against the keypad up the corridor.
JORJIE: Okay.
STARKEY: Where did you get that?
DARIUS: Thorne. Remember by little performance with Mr Whiffy?
STARKEY: You picked his pocket?

(Jorjie uses the device as instructed.)

[Another room]

(A guard is playing a handheld video game.)

GUARD: Oi, what’s going on down there?

(Unclear)

CCPC: Want me to go and check, boss?
GUARD: Not going anywhere. I’m on Level 6.

[Dauntless Prison cells]

STARKEY: Jorjie, what are you doing? Hurry up.
DARIUS: Yeah, hurry up.
JORJIE: I’m hurrying!
STARKEY: Come on, Jorjie!

(Jorjie presses several switches and the cells open.)

DARIUS: Right, let’s go.

(An alarm sounds.)

[Another room]

(The guard gets up.)

GUARD: What’s that? (Looks at the CCPC.) What are you waiting for?
CCPC: I thought you might be onto Level 7.
GUARD: Get down to them cells!
CCPC: (Unclear) On the double!

[Dauntless Prison corridor]

(K9 flies along a corridor. He detects alien signatures.)

K9: Jixen!

(Along another corridor, Starkey, Darius and Jorjie are helping the aliens escape the CCPCs.)

JORJIE: Come on!
STARKEY: Quickly, everyone! Let’s move it! (He looks back along the previous corridor. The Jixen appears and corners him.) This stinky pheromonal-tracking-puke thing is getting a tad creepy. Maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while. (K9 arrives and shoots the Jixen.) Is that all you’ve got?
K9: My energy levels don’t have time to reboot. I recommend rapid movement in the opposite direction of the xenomorph.
STARKEY: In other words, run?
K9: Affirmative.

(In another corridor, Jorjie, Darius and the aliens reach a locked door.)

DARIUS: Ah, great. Now… (He starts tampering with a panel next to the door.) I can try and hotwire this thing.

[Dauntless Prison cells]

STARKEY: We’ve got friends in here! Loads of friends!

(Starkey and K9 arrive back at the cells. Starkey closes the door behind them.)

K9: Hurry! (They go to an empty cell.) Hmm. This is twice as many friends as I thought you had.

(Starkey takes off his jacket and leaves it in the cell, then he and K9 flee. The Jixen gets through the door and enters the cell. As he sniffs the jacket, Starkey returns and locks him in.)

K9: Checkmate!
STARKEY: Yeah, you big git! No wonder you were defeated by the Meron. Yeah, you know their name, don’t you?
K9: Knows and detests.
STARKEY: Beat up by a bunch of cranky mermaids. That’s just embarrassing.
K9: Alien threat detected. (Department Field Agent 1 walks in.) Species identified. Meron!

(Department Field Agent 1 transforms into a Meron.)

STARKEY: Far out! They morph! (Meron 1 shoots K9 with a beam from his hand. He is thrown backwards and lands on the floor.) K9! (Meron 1 raises his hand to attack Starkey, but the Jixen makes a cry which hurts him and makes him run.)

[Dauntless Prison office]

(June is reading. She hears the Jixen’s cry.)

JUNE: What on Earth is that?

(Thorne closes the door before June can go and investigate.)

THORNE: It’s Jixen. (He uses a device to lock the door.) It’s best we stay here.

(June looks at a screen showing Starkey with K9.)

JUNE: It’s the boy. He’s brought the cyborg. Open the doors. Let’s go.
THORNE: No. (His hand is shaking and, unnoticed by June, transforming.) We don’t know what’s going on down there.
JUNE: I’m ordering you. Do it!

[Dauntless Prison cells]

STARKEY: You don’t look so good.
K9: Immunity levels down to 19%. Rebooting energy reserves. Critical systems.
STARKEY: We’ve got to get out of here. If the inspector sees you…
K9: You go.
STARKEY: We’ve got to go, now.
K9: Unable to comply. Power levels critical.
STARKEY: Come on, K9! You’ve got to try.

[Dauntless Prison office]

JUNE: Release the locks! (Thorne does not move. June grabs the device from the desk and uses it to open the door.) I promise you, Thorne. You’ll never darken these doors again. You’re finished.

(June leaves.)

THORNE: You’ll pay for this! One day.

[Dauntless Prison corridor]

(Starkey and K9 join Jorjie and Darius at the locked door. Darius is still hotwiring the door.)

DARIUS: Where have you been?
STARKEY: Yeah, thanks for waiting.
JORJIE: We didn’t realise you weren’t with us. Come on!

[Dauntless Prison exit]

(June opens a door and passes through a force field by activating her arm unit.)

[Dauntless Prison corridor / hall]

(The locked door opens.)

JORJIE: Run, everybody! Run like the wind!

(The aliens flee into a large hall.)

STARKEY: Move it!
JORJIE: Come on! This way! Through here!
STARKEY: Come on everyone! Move it!
JORJIE: Hurry!

(They reach the exit, but June is stood there.)

JUNE: That is a maximum impact force field. There’s no escape. You will return to your cells now.
DARIUS: What? To be experimented on? Mr Whiffy might be stinky, farty and gross but, lady, you’re a monster.
JUNE: The system works.
STARKEY: You’re imprisoning innocent aliens!
JUNE: I’m doing this for the future, so our children’s children will be safe.
STARKEY: What about your children?
JUNE: Any child of mine is certainly none of your business.

(Jorjie approaches.)

JORJIE: I wouldn’t be so sure, Mum.
JUNE: Jorjie? You’re supposed to be doing homework at Vicky’s!
JORJIE: And you’re supposed to have a boring job in IT.
DARIUS: So, you guys know each other?

(The Jixen appears and growls.)

K9: Young master!

(The Jixen uses its power to knock Starkey down.)

JORJIE: Leave him alone!
JUNE: Leave them all alone.

(The Jixen uses its power on June.)

JORJIE: Mum!
DARIUS: (To K9.) Do something!

(K9 shoots at the Jixen.)

STARKEY: K9, you need more power!
K9: That is all I have left.

(Starkey stands in front of K9.)

K9: No, young master!
JUNE: Jorjie, the arm unit! Arm it for self-destruct! The red button! (Jorjie picks up the fallen arm unit and obeys. Darius grabs it.) Attach it to the creature!

(Darius throws the beeping arm unit to Starkey. Starkey attaches it to the Jixen’s arm. It electrocutes him.)

JORJIE: Quite a team!
DARIUS: Quite a team.
STARKEY: What do you think, K9?
K9: Assessment logical.

(Starkey collapses. Darius and Jorjie catch him.)

DARIUS: Whoa!

[The sitting room]

(Starkey wakes up on the sofa.)

STARKEY: K9!
GRYFFEN: It’s alright. It’s alright. He’s right here.
STARKEY: How did you get away from Inspector Turner?
DARIUS: Well, all the aliens did. (He looks at Gryffen.) Someone leaked what the Department was doing to the media. The prison’s being shut down.

(Gryffen passes Starkey a cup of tea.)

GRYFFEN: So, K9, the Jixen. Finally gone?
K9: Yes. One problem solved. Another one presents itself.

(A bunch of rats run past the doorway.)

STARKEY: What’s that?
GRYFFEN: Ah, yes, well, bad news about the rats. They seem to multiply every ten seconds or so. Yes, I know, I know, the machine needs more work before I tamper with it. (Starkey gets up.) Where are you going?
STARKEY: Time to get moving. We had a deal. Jorjie’s gone home, the Jixen’s dead. I’ve got a job to do.
K9: Ah, young master. I believe acknowledgement is in order for saving this unit from termination.
STARKEY: Thanks, K9, for saving my life too.

(Starkey leaves.)

[Beside the Thames]

(Starkey again sabotages the panel by the Thames. The CCPCs approach him.)

CCPC: Oi, what’s your game?
STARKEY: Come on, metalheads! Catch me if you can!

(Starkey runs.)

CCPC: Stark Reality, you’re under arrest.

(K9 arrives and Starkey turns back to the CCPCs.)

K9: Ready for action, young master.
CCPC: Unlicensed cybernetic intruder detected. (K9 and Starkey both flee.) Halt! You are both under arrest. Stay where you are.
HOLOGRAM WOMAN: It’s for your own good.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.