Let’s Kill Hitler

“You said he was funny. You never said he was hot.”

“Well, let's see. You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell. Let's kill Hitler.”

DOCTOR: You've shot it! You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console!

MELS: It's your fault!

DOCTOR: Argh! How's it my fault?

MELS: You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace.

DOCTOR: That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie.

“Welcome. You are unauthorised. Your death will now be implemented. Welcome. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death. Remain calm while your life is extracted.”

HITLER: Thank you, whoever you are. I think you have just saved my life.

DOCTOR: Believe me, it was an accident.

MELS: When I was little, I was going to marry you.

DOCTOR: Good idea, let's get married. You stay alive and I'll marry you, deal? Deal?

MELS: Shouldn't you ask my parents permission?

DOCTOR: As soon as you're well, I'll get on the phone.

MELS: Might as well do it now, since they're both right here. Penny in the air. Penny drops.

DOCTOR: Mels. Short for-

MELS: Melody.

AMY: Yeah. I named my daughter after her.

DOCTOR: You named your daughter after your daughter.

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Whoa! Right, let's see, then. Ooo, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair! Oh, the hair. It just doesn't stop, does it? Look at that. Everything changes. Oh, but I love it. I love it! I'm all sort of mature.”

AMY: That's Melody.

RORY: That's River Song.

RIVER: Who's River Song?

DOCTOR: Spoilers.

RIVER: Spoilers? What's spoilers?

“Oh, that's magnificent! I'm going to wear lots of jodhpurs.”

“Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention. I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor.”

NAZI OFFICER: What are you doing here?

RIVER: Well, I was on my way to this gay Gypsy Bar-Mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish. I think I'll kill the Fuhrer. Who's with me?

NAZI OFFICER: Shoot her.

“Tip for you all. Never shoot a girl while she's regenerating.”

HOLO-DOCTOR: Voice interface enabled.

DOCTOR: Oh no, no, no, no, no. Give me someone I like.

(Holo-Rose Tyler.)

DOCTOR: Oh, thanks. Give me guilt.

(Holo-Martha Jones.)

DOCTOR: Also guilt.

(Holo-Donna Noble.)

DOCTOR: More guilt. Argh. Come on, there must be someone left in the universe I haven't screwed up yet.

“Okay. Okay, I am trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor.”

“I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out.”

“Never knowingly be serious.”

TESELECTA-AMY: The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked.

DOCTOR: What question?

TESELECTA-AMY: The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight.

DOCTOR: Yes, but what is the question?

TESELECTA-AMY: Unknown.

“All life forms prepare for immediate decease. You will experience a tingling sensation and then death.”

“I seem to be able to fly her. She showed me how. She taught me. The Doctor says I'm the child of the TARDIS. What does he mean?”

AMY: You can't die now. I know you don't die now.

DOCTOR: Oh, Pond, you've got a schedule for everything.

RIVER: Just tell me. The Doctor, is he worth it?

AMY: Yes! Yes, he is!

(River pours her golden regeneration energy into the Doctor, and he revives.)

DOCTOR: River. No. What are you doing?

RIVER: Hello, sweetie.

“Rule one. The Doctor lies.”

RORY: Doctor, River was brainwashed to kill you, right?

DOCTOR: Well, she did kill me, and then she used her remaining lives to bring me back. As first dates go, I'd say that was mixed signals.

PROFESSOR: So then, tell me. Why do you want to study archaeology?

RIVER: Well, to be perfectly honest, Professor, I'm looking for a good man.