[TARDIS]

(River 2 is on the floor, the Doctor is attempting to revive her)

DOCTOR: River? Are you okay, talk to me! Ok erm er, oh, breathe breathe come on, gotta keep breathing... errr. River. You are holding your breath!

(River 2 opens her eyes)

RIVER 2: You're a fine one to talk about holding. How many hands do you have?

DOCTOR: Get up! What are you doing? Who's shooting at you?

RIVER 2: Oh, just a few Sontarans. Chased me halfway across the galaxy. I probably shouldn't have asked them if they were on a hen night.

DOCTOR: River, you can't do things like that!

RIVER 2: Or what? You already had me banged up in jail for 5 years, what else are you going to do? Spank me?

(River 2 notices the dress)

RIVER 2: Doctor! Have you brought someone else here? Does anyone agree to wear that dress? Where is she?

DOCTOR: River, think it through!

RIVER 2: This happened the last time we were here. You brought someone else!

DOCTOR: No I didn't.

RIVER 2: Yes you did, I heard you talking to her!

DOCTOR: It's the same night!

(The first River appears from another doorway)

RIVER 1: Doctor. Were you talking to someone?

DOCTOR: No no, just me.

(The second River comes back)

RIVER 2: Were you talking to someone?

DOCTOR: No no dear, just me.

(They both leave. The TARDIS door opens. Another River appears, wearing the dress)

RIVER 3: You nostalgic idiot, you just can't keep away, can you? Doctor? Why have you bought another one of these? (she sees the dress hanging up) Who else is here?

DOCTOR: River. Could you just check the light on top? I think the bulb needs changing.

RIVER 3: The bulb?

(She leaves, confused. The second River comes down the stairs)

RIVER 2: Who are you talking to?

DOCTOR: You. I'm talking to you. Back to Stormcage, Doctor Song.

(He sonics her Vortex Manipulator)

RIVER 2: Oh at least give me a lift, you know what this thing does to my hair?

DOCTOR: It's always like that.

(She disappears. The third River comes back through the door)

RIVER 3: The light's fine, I don't know what you're talking about.

DOCTOR 2: No! River! Wrong TARDIS I'm... parked round the back... younger version.

RIVER 3: Two of you! The mind races, does it not?

DOCTOR 2: Come on, we'll be late.

RIVER 3: He's taking me to The Singing Towers of Darillium! He's been promising for ages!

DOCTOR: (to the other Doctor) The first time we met her at The Library, when she...

DOCTOR 2: Died, yes.

DOCTOR: She said that the last time she saw us was at Darillium. Is that now?

DOCTOR 2: Spoilers. Good luck tonight.

DOCTOR: You too

DOCTOR 2: Yeah.

(River 1 comes running in, and sees the two Doctors)

RIVER: There's two of you! The mind races.

DOCTOR: Right, come on you, let's go and see the stars.

RIVER: But I haven't changed!

DOCTOR: And you never will, River. Never, ever.

RIVER: What was the other you doing here?

DOCTOR: Sorry, can't say.

RIVER: What's that word you use?

DOCTOR: Spoilers.

RIVER: I like that word.

DOCTOR: I thought you might.

RIVER: Doctor, you and your secrets. You'll be the death of me!

Transcript by Shauny. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.