[Rally]

(Flanked by CCPCs and accompanied by Drake, June is addressing a rally of people carrying signs protesting chips.)

JUNE: These microchips are designed to make the world a safer place. Sure, they do have security applications, but one day your life may depend on them. This technology means your children will never get lost again.

(Items are thrown at June. She withdraws.)

DRAKE: This isn’t a protest, it’s a riot! Arrest them!

(More items are thrown at Drake. He avoids them. K9 flies over the protestors.)

JUNE: K9? (K9 shoots at balloons and decorations.) K9! What are you doing? Drake, look out! (K9 shoots Drake and flies away.) Are you alright?
DRAKE: K9’s gone mad.
JUNE: What’s wrong with him?
DRAKE: It’ll be my pleasure to find out.

[Starkey’s bedroom]

(K9 enters, making an alarm sound. Starkey wakes up.)

STARKEY: What?
K9: Time to start the day.
STARKEY: K9, it’s quarter to nine.
K9: 8:47, to be precise.
STARKEY: K9, humans don’t just regenerate. We need actual sleep.
K9: Do we need to reset my alarm?
STARKEY: How about you erase it?
K9: Verbal override. Command verified. Implementing erase protocol.

(Starkey lies back down.)

[Jorjie’s bedroom]

(June enters. Jorjie is getting ready.)

JUNE: We’ve got to go to Gryffen’s now. I’m going to need your help to get Starkey to cooperate.
JORJIE: Mum, what’s happened?
JUNE: K9 tried to kill Drake.
JORJIE: I don’t believe it.
JUNE: Well, it was captured on four different cameras.
JORJIE: But why did he do it?
JUNE: Well, that’s what the Department want to find out. If K9 gives himself up, it’ll be better for everybody. That’s why I need your help. Let’s go.

[The laboratory]

(Starkey enters.)

STARKEY: Morning, Gryff.
GRYFFEN: Morning.
STARKEY: Slept like a log.
K9: A logarithm.
STARKEY: K9, do logarithms sleep?
K9: I thought that was the point.
GRYFFEN: He means a felled tree.
K9: They’re not asleep. They’re dead.

(June enters.)

GRYFFEN: June! What a pleasant surprise.
JUNE: I’m afraid you’re speaking a little prematurely.

(She activates a device. K9’s attack at the protest appears on a screen.)

K9: Uh, is that me?
GRYFFEN: Well, is it?
K9: I have no memory of doing that.
STARKEY: Because I’m sure you wouldn’t. It’s suicide.
JUNE: Which is why I’m here. Drake is seeking an arrest warrant from the Public Safety Council. I’m told he might talk to you. But if you hand yourself in, it’ll prove you haven’t gone rogue.
STARKEY: Hand himself in to Drake? Over my dead body!
JUNE: Well, if they have to come looking for him, that just might happen!
STARKEY: Well, if they want K9, they can deal with me first!
GRYFFEN: Can we please calm down? First, we have to establish that the accusation is justified. K9, would you please download your memdrive from this morning?
K9: Affirmative. (His memories appear on the screen.) I went for a wander around the streets this morning.
JUNE: Why, exactly?
JORJIE: That’s not illegal yet, is it, Mum?
JUNE: Go back! (The memories rewind.) What’s that?
K9: I erased my alarm here and it generally edits out half an hour on either side of the log line unless I specify otherwise.
STARKEY: It’s true. I asked him to erase his alarm. It was driving me crazy.
JUNE: How convenient.

[Department camo]

JUNE: You’ve made a speedy recovery.
DRAKE: No thanks to the homicidal K9. I heard you paid a visit to Gryffen’s, Inspector. What was that about?
JUNE: To negotiate a peaceful solution.
DRAKE: With criminals? Doesn’t that give them the wrong idea?
JUNE: Well, think about it. K9’s firepower is an unknown quantity. You go in there all guns blazing and you’ll have a bloodbath on your hands.
DRAKE: An inevitable consequence of putting yourself outside the law.
JUNE: Gryffen and the two boys didn’t.
DRAKE: So, what was their answer?
JUNE: As soon as I get one, you’ll be the first to know.
DRAKE: Well, they’d better put their skates on. That arrest warrant is not far away.

[The laboratory]

(Darius switches off the screen.)

DARIUS: And you’re saying you didn’t do it?
STARKEY: Of course he didn’t do it.
K9: I am reliant on my memdrive and the incident is not in there, so…
DARIUS: But you’re denying you did it.
JORJIE: Don’t harass him.
STARKEY: His word is good enough for us.
DARIUS: But, wait, he’s not given us his word, is he? He’s given us his memdrive. Robots don’t have words to give.
STARKEY: K9’s our friend, so we’ll stick by him.
DARIUS: Look, the Department’s going to come down on us like Armageddon, so we’ve got to get our story straight.
JORJIE: It’s not a story, Darius!
DARIUS: Jorjie, your mum saw the whole thing, yeah? What did she see if it didn’t happen?
STARKEY: Just whose side are you on?
K9: Stop. Do not argue over me. I’m sure June is not a liar. Therefore, I must have done it.

[The garage]

(Darius is washing Mariah with a sponge. He stops as Jorjie enters.)

JORJIE: Why would you say that to him? You know how he feels.
DARIUS: He’s a robot.
JORJIE: I mean Starkey.
DARIUS: Well, we all know what he is.
JORJIE: You know how he feels about K9.
DARIUS: He’s a machine!
JORJIE: So is that car and how do you feel about it? (Darius laughs.) You could show some consideration.

(Jorjie leaves.)

DARIUS: Yeah? (He leans on Mariah.) Got all the consideration in the world, my friend, don’t you?

[Starkey’s bedroom]

(Starkey is on his bed with a Rubik’s cube. Jorjie knocks.)

STARKEY: Go away.

(Jorjie enters anyway.)

JORJIE: I’m with you. There’s got to be another explanation.
STARKEY: Like what?
JORJIE: Well… K9 wasn’t the only cybernetic dog in the 50th century. Maybe another one came through the STM.
STARKEY: Thanks, but, first of all, K9 coming through was an astronomically unlikely event. Secondly, we would have heard the STM operating and, third, don’t you think he’d have another number like K10?
JORJIE: Well, maybe it wasn’t his fault. Maybe he malfunctioned.
STARKEY: That’s no excuse. They’ll grab him anyway. I hate to think what they’d do to him.
JORJIE: So, what do you think happened? What?
STARKEY: You remember the time Drake grabbed me and tried to monster me?
JORJIE: Yeah, of course.
STARKEY: K9 got really angry and asked me if I wanted Drake taken out.
JORJIE: Ah, right.
STARKEY: Maybe he did this for me.

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is working on a radio. Jorjie enters.)

GRYFFEN: Jorjie! I’m having so much fun with these old radio signals.
JORJIE: How can you talk about fun? Drake is going to break him up for scrap.
GRYFFEN: What’s on your mind, Jorjie?
JORJIE: K9. K9’s on my mind.
GRYFFEN: Well, you’ll just have to wait and see what happened. That’s all we can do. What’s really on your mind?
JORJIE: I’m scared that K9’s problem is going to drag Starkey into danger.
GRYFFEN: Ah, yes, well, there is that risk but, you know, Starkey is a sensible boy. He knows the score.
JORJIE: I know. It’s just, I want to be a better friend to him and I feel so useless.
GRYFFEN: Believe me, I understand, but you’re doing what a good friend does. You’re standing by and waiting until he asks for help.
JORJIE: And he doesn’t ask for help. Like all guys, they think they’re okay until they’re not.
GRYFFEN: Jorjie, Starkey has to walk his own path.
JORJIE: But he’s got so close with K9 and he’ll be trapped by his feelings.
GRYFFEN: Are you feeling trapped by your feelings? You won’t if you share them.
JORJIE: But… what if he laughed at me?
GRYFFEN: K9?
JORJIE: No.
GRYFFEN: I’m only teasing. I’m certain Starkey won’t laugh.
JORJIE: Do feelings get easier?
GRYFFEN: Do you want the good news or the bad news?
JORJIE: Good news first.
GRYFFEN: The good news is that you get better at dealing with them as you get older.
JORJIE: And the bad news?
GRYFFEN: They hurt just as much.

[Street]

(Darius is walking. His way is blocked by two CCPCs.)

CCPC: Oi! What have we got here, then?

(Darius turns around. The other way is blocked by two others.)

CCPC: Hello, my little darling. What’s the worry there? (Unclear) Face forward, march.

(They march Darius away.)

[Department camo]

(Darius is sat down. Drake stands over him.)

DRAKE: You’ve got something I really admire, something very few kids your age have. You’re a pragmatist.
DARIUS: Who are you calling names?
DRAKE: And I like that, too. You don’t scare easy. Do you know what a pragmatist is?
DARIUS: Surprise me.
DRAKE: It’s somebody who doesn’t stick with a losing team. Somebody who always asks themselves one simple question: what’s in it for me? Is that you?
DARIUS: Yeah. It’s like looking into a mirror.
DRAKE: Well, let’s look into this mirror a bit more, shall we? What sort of future do we see? Oh, that’s a pity. You graduate from petty crime and you do serious jailtime. And when you’re not on the run, you’re in a containment facility. Doesn’t sound like much of a life, does it, Darius?
DARIUS: Sounds like you’ve got my future mixed up with some loser’s future.
DRAKE: Well, here’s how you could change your luck. Tomorrow morning, I’ll have a warrant for K9’s arrest. When I come for him, it would be really good to have someone on the inside.
DARIUS: You mean me.
DRAKE: Do you hear that? That’s pragmatism. Do we have a deal? (Darius says nothing.) Do we have a deal?

[The laboratory]

(Jorjie is watching the recording and pauses on Drake.)

JORJIE: Look at that smug smile. Yuck. (Darius enters, carrying a bag.) Every pixel’s in its place. Even the Department can’t counterfeit a recording this good.
DARIUS: So, you’re calling your mother a liar.
JORJIE: I’m just looking at other options. It’ll break Starkey’s heart if K9 is taken in.
DARIUS: Jorjie, don’t get angry at me. I’m just trying to be clear-headed. If K9’s got a screw loose then it’s wrong for all of us to get burned pretending he doesn’t, yeah?
JORJIE: I really expected more support from you.
DARIUS: I am supporting you! And I’m supporting Gryffen! Even though I think Starkey’s a fruit loop sometimes, I’m supporting him. But I’m not supporting K9 if he crossed a line. He’ll have to face the music.
JORJIE: I’m just trying to be loyal to Starkey.
DARIUS: I don’t call that loyal, I call that stupid. If we let Starkey convince himself that K9 is being victimised, he’ll get hurt big time.

(Later, Gryffen is working on his radio.)

GRYFFEN: It’s remarkable how many of these old radio signals contained music. Radio was an enormously popular platform and the music is still quite infectious.
STARKEY: I’ll take your word for it. Hey, prof. Do you think Darius has got a point?
GRYFFEN: I think he’s got many points, most of them good. You mean about K9, of course.
STARKEY: Yeah, I mean… You think he could be right? You think K9 could have done this?
GRYFFEN: Highly unlikely.
STARKEY: Yeah, unlikely, but we can’t be sure. I mean, how well do we really know him?
GRYFFEN: How well do you think you need to know him?
STARKEY: What do you mean?
GRYFFEN: Well, how well do you know him already?
STARKEY: Umm… He stumbled here through the portal, he wants to find his way home, he hates being called a dog…
GRYFFEN: And? He’s your friend.
STARKEY: Yeah.
GRYFFEN: What else do you need to know?
STARKEY: I’m right to stand by him.
GRYFFEN: And if you’re proved wrong, it’ll hurt, but not as much as realising you let your best friend down.
STARKEY: I think I knew that, but thanks for helping me get it clear.
GRYFFEN: I’m having a good day, advice-wise. Jorjie and I had a chat earlier, also on the subject of friendship.
STARKEY: Yeah? Well, she came to the right bloke.

[Jorjie’s bedroom]

(Jorjie is in her wardrobe. June enters.)

JUNE: Are you okay?
JORJIE: So, he’ll get the warrant?
JUNE: Yes, he will.
JORJIE: Aren’t you the same rank as him? Couldn’t you have done something?
JUNE: Jorjie, when a robot shoots one of our top officers on coast-to-coast vidcast, it’s pretty hard to do something about it.
JORJIE: He’s not just a robot anymore. He’s Starkey’s best friend.
JUNE: Well, to make sure Drake does everything by the book, I’ll stick to him like glue.
JORJIE: But he’s mad! He’ll do whatever he wants.
JUNE: He’s not mad. It doesn’t help to say silly things.
JORJIE: He is mad! Only a madman would have that weird smug smile on his face when everyone else is ducking for cover.

[The dining room]

(Starkey is showing K9 a device.)

STARKEY: This should show us if you go walkabout tonight.
K9: I’d like to know that myself.
GRYFFEN: To make doubly sure, I could devise some sort of tripwire and attach it to your tail.
STARKEY: Professor, can you do that now?
GRYFFEN: Yeah. Oh, of course. Just capturing some old music trapped under the Heaviside layer.
K9: What sort of receiver are you using?
GRYFFEN: Oh, you see, all I do…
STARKEY: Hey, could we have some focus here? Professor, the tripwire.
GRYFFEN: Right. What I’ll do… (He grabs some wire.) I’ll attach this to K9’s tail and the whole neighbourhood should hear about it if it moves. (He connects the wire. K9 yelps.) Oh, sorry. I reversed the polarities.

[The garage]

(K9 flies in and uses his cannon to damage Mariah.)

[Department camo]

(June is watching the recording of K9’s attack on Drake. She notices Drake’s smug smile and pauses the recording. She opens up his application for K9’s arrest warrant and sees that it is connected to Operation Orthrus, but she is denied access to further information. Drake walks up behind her.)

DRAKE: Working late, Inspector?

(June changes the screen.)

JUNE: Paperwork. It never ends.
DRAKE: What’s your interest in Operation Orthrus?
JUNE: I’m not really interested in the operation. More why I haven’t been told about it.
DRAKE: You haven’t got the clearance.
JUNE: And you have?
DRAKE: That’s classified too.
JUNE: Well, let me ask you about something which won’t be classified since it’s been on network 24/7. When K9 went rogue, everyone took evasive action except you.
DRAKE: Is there a question in there?
JUNE: Yes. Why were you smiling?
DRAKE: Courage. Coolness under fire. Steely nerves. Take your pick.
JUNE: Ah. The person who pointed out your odd behaviour thinks you’re mad.
DRAKE: Who is that?
JUNE: Classified, sorry.

[Outside the mansion / garage]

(Darius walks over to the garage with a bucket of soapy water. Mariah’s hood is open and her engine badly damaged.)

DARIUS: Mariah. (He drops the bucket.) Who on Earth…?

(He walks into the garage and closes the hood. A message on the windscreen reads “K9 WOZ ‘ER”.)

[The dining room]

(K9 is on a chair. Darius walks through the room.)

DARIUS: Starkey! That dog of yours deserves a good hiding!

(K9 hovers and shoots a beam at the mirror which bounces off and damages the tripwire. He flies into the next room.)

[Room]

(Darius is showing Starkey his vidcom.)

DARIUS: He trashed Mariah.
STARKEY: Impossible! We would’ve heard the alarm! (K9 flies in.) How’d you get here?
DARIUS: Some alarm.

[The laboratory]

(Starkey, Darius, Jorjie and K9 are watching footage of K9’s vandalism of Mariah.)

JORJIE: It’s like… K9’s begging to be caught. See there? He’s actually shoving his face in the camera.
STARKEY: You’re right. What if this is meant to distract us?
DARIUS: Well, it sure got my attention!
STARKEY: No, I mean, maybe K9’s being framed.
DARIUS: Oh, come on. Is that or is that not a spitting image of K9?
K9: It’s best I cooperate with the authorities.
STARKEY: No! Drake will pull you apart and turn you into his little pet!
DARIUS: K9’s right.
STARKEY: K9 has the firepower to take them all out.
DARIUS: Oh, get serious!

(Gryffen enters.)

GRYFFEN: Stop! Enough. We cannot fight fire with fire. Fight the Department on their own terms and they will win every time.
STARKEY: So, what do we do?
GRYFFEN: We just be ourselves. Being ourselves is the only defence against thugs in uniform.
JORJIE: Will that be enough?
GRYFFEN: Being yourself is always enough.

(There is a knock at the door.)

CCPC: (OC) Open up!
STARKEY: K9, I authorise you to use your photon cannon.
GRYFFEN: Stop! I am telling you that is not the way.
K9: I agree, young master.
DARIUS: Well, at last someone is making some sense.
CCPC: (OC) Open up. Open up.

(Darius heads to the main hall. The others follow.)

[The main hall]

(Two CCPCs enter, followed by Drake.)

CCPC: We have a warrant to enter the premises and arrest the one called K9.
DRAKE: Oh, my favourite pragmatist.
CCPC: We have a warrant for the arrest of K9. Who is K9?
GRYFFEN: I want to see the warrant.
DRAKE: Let’s move it.
JORJIE: Show us the warrant! (A CCPC grabs her arm.) Ow, let me go!
DARIUS: Hey, leave her alone, bozo!
CCPC: Pejorative denomination is an offence.
DARIUS: Yeah, well, do you prefer “creep” or “jerk”?

(Darius puts a bucket on the CCPC’s head.)

GRYFFEN: See what I mean?
CCPC: Hey, who turned the lights off?
GRYFFEN: Pure Darius.
DRAKE: Remove the bucket, you moronic machine. (Gryffen attaches a wire to a CCPC and spins a handle on a device. The CCPC dances.) I order you to stop it!
CCPC: What’s happening to me?
DRAKE: This is a disgrace! You, fall in!
GRYFFEN: Go, go, go, go!
STARKEY: Quick, let’s get out of here! Come on, K9!
DRAKE: This wasn’t our deal, Darius.
DARIUS: Call my lawyer.
DRAKE: You can run, but you can’t hide!
GRYFFEN: Go, go, go, go, go, go!

(Starkey, Jorjie, Darius and K9 leave. Drake removes the bucket from the one CCPC’s head.)

DRAKE: I blame you for this.
GRYFFEN: What, me? They’re just kids being themselves.

(Drake grabs Gryffen’s device. The other CCPC stops dancing.)

CCPC: Sorry, sir. Don’t know what came over me.

[Tunnel]

K9: Darius, what was that about a deal?
STARKEY: Yeah, I’d also like to know.
JORJIE: Me too.
DARIUS: They pulled me in off the street and I said to him what I’d already said to you. K9 should bring himself in. Nothing more.

(They hear a stomping sound and see the shadow of a CCPC.)

STARKEY: Shh! What’s that?
DARIUS: Oh, that’ll be them. All right. You guys go that way and I’ll lose these can heads. What? I’m still on your side, you know.
STARKEY: Come on.

(Starkey, Jorjie and K9 head off.)

DARIUS: Hey! Over here!
CCPC: Wait. Resistance is futile.
DARIUS: Morons.

(He runs off.)

STARKEY: K9, any readings yet? K9?
JORJIE: We’ve lost him.

(Darius is luring the CCPCs away.)

DARIUS: Just keep going. (There is a banging noise.) Who’s there? (K9 appears.) K9. K9, you’re creeping me out. Oh, come on. Don’t sulk. (K9’s cannon powers up.) Hey, that’s not funny. Hey, K9, don’t…! (K9 fires. Darius runs and finds Starkey and Jorjie.) Go!
STARKEY: Are you okay?
DARIUS: No. Your dog’s totally lost it.
STARKEY: Oh, not this again.
DARIUS: He tried to kill me!
JORJIE: I don’t believe you.
DARIUS: Well, here’s your proof right now.

(K9 flies in.)

STARKEY: K9, are you okay? K9, what’s going on? (K9’s cannon powers up to shoot Jorjie.) No, K9! If you’re going to shoot anyone, shoot me! Why?

(Another K9 flies in and shoots the first.)

K9: Too slow! (The attacking K9 powers up his cannon again.) Hit me with your best shot. (The attacking K9’s shots miss.) You call that a cannon? This is a cannon! (He shoots the attacking K9. It deactivates.)
STARKEY: Well done, K9!

(Drake arrives with his CCPCs and looks at the damaged K9.)

K9: Friend of yours?
DRAKE: 15,000 manhours up in smoke.
K9: Word to the wise, Inspector Drake. He needs twice the RAM on his command drive. Back to the drawing board, I’m afraid.
DRAKE: It will give me the greatest pleasure to pull you apart slowly, bit by uppity bit, and then turn you into my lapdog to do my bidding.

(June arrives.)

JUNE: That’s not going to happen. I convened a special council meeting and pointed out that Operation Orthrus had bypassed all the required approvals. So, Operation Orthrus, like Orthrus itself, is hereby terminated.
DRAKE: We’ll just see about that.

(Drake leaves. June winks at Starkey, Jorjie and Darius. K9 laughs.)

[The laboratory]

JORJIE: So, Drake set up this whole thing to incriminate K9.
STARKEY: So he could get K9 into his laboratory.
DARIUS: He’s crazy.
GRYFFEN: He’s sly, like a fox. And it almost worked.
STARKEY: Well, Darius, I think you owe K9 an apology.
DARIUS: Hang on. He tried to kill me.
JORJIE: That was Orthrus.
DARIUS: No! In the other tunnel, before.
K9: That wasn’t me either.
DARIUS: So you say. (K9 growls.) Yeah, look at that. I rest my case. He’s completely out of control.

(Darius leaves. K9 follows.)

GRYFFEN: Shouldn’t you try to stop them?
STARKEY: No, they’ve got things to discuss.
DARIUS: (OC) Get away from me!

(K9’s cannon fires.)

JORJIE: Darius is afraid of intimacy.
K9: (OC) You need to be taught a verisimilar lesson.
JORJIE: And K9’s got anger issues.
DARIUS: (OC) No!
K9: (OC) Take that!
STARKEY: At least they’re talking.
GRYFFEN: I need a cup of tea.

(Starkey and Jorjie laugh.)

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.