Part One

[Attic]

(A meteor is burning red through the Earth's atmosphere.)

MR SMITH: Meteor redirected to these coordinates. Strong possibility of germ pathogens.
SARAH JANE: We've got to neutralise it. Rani, biocoolant. Clyde, thermoclamps. Go, go, go!

[Countryside]

(Scorched earth and small fires around the main impact crater.)

SARAH JANE: If it splits opens, the germs will escape. We've got to be quick.

(They walk into the crater. Sarah Jane is scanning all the time.)

SARAH JANE: Just in time. Rani?
RANI: On it.

(But before she can use her 'fire' extinguisher, there is a big flash.)

CLYDE: Whoa. What was that?
SARAH JANE: It's reading all clear.
RANI: I didn't do anything.

(There is a beeping noise, and someone appears on the crater edge holding a small fire extinguisher.)

SARAH JANE: There's something there. What are you doing here?
RUBY: Saving the world. All in a day's work. Goodbye.
SARAH JANE: No, wait. Who are you?

(The stranger, who also middle aged, wears tight clothing and has shoulder length brown hair, zooms off in a red convertible.)

CLYDE: She's exactly like you.

(They walk to Sarah Jane's car.)

SARAH JANE: She's bad news, whoever she is. Last thing we need is amateurs under our feet.
CLYDE: Well, she looked pretty professional to me.
RANI: Well, she must've detected the meteor, so she's got alien tech. Plus she knew what she was doing.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, well, I'll get Mister Smith on the case. We'll find her.

[Bannerman Road]

(Sarah Jane has just parked on her driveway when Ruby's red car parks outside another house.)

CLYDE: Wait, wait, wait. What did I just see?
RANI: We've found her.
SARAH JANE: What?

(Rani points down the road.)

RANI: There was a big furniture van out there the other day.
CLYDE: Wonder Woman's moved in down the road.

(Sarah Jane's car starts rolling forward.)

CLYDE: Ah, you left the hand brake off.

(He stops the car.)

SARAH JANE: Must be getting old.
RANI: So, what now?
SARAH JANE: Well, we find out exactly what's going on here.

[Ruby's home]

(The house is still stacked with unopened boxes.)

SARAH JANE: We need to talk.
RUBY: You followed me?
RANI: We only live over there.
RUBY: Like I care. Get lost.

(Sarah Jane pushes her way inside.)

SARAH JANE: Not good enough. Ah.
RUBY: Get out of my house.
SARAH JANE: I've been doorstepping since I was nineteen.
RANI: Those days at the South Croydon Echo have never left her.
RUBY: You're a journalist. I might have known. Get out or I'll call the police.
SARAH JANE: You don't really want to do that. Not with alien technology lying about the place.
RUBY: You have no idea what you're getting into here, or you wouldn't be bringing kids with you.
SARAH JANE: Wherever I go, they go.
RUBY: You get one minute.
SARAH JANE: What's your name?
RUBY: What's yours?
CLYDE: Ruby White.

(He has found an envelope.)

RUBY: Put that down. Who d'you think you are?
SARAH JANE: You just used a bio-coolant spray on a meteor you couldn't have known had fallen to Earth. To destroy germs you couldn't have known it contained. Would you like to explain?
RUBY: All of which equally applies to you. Don't think I haven't met amateurs before.
SARAH JANE: Why this house? Why move here?
RUBY: This area, they call it the Ealing Triangle. Trueman the astrologer, happened here. The Bubbleshock factory, ten minutes away. Reports of rhinos in police cars. Alien plant life. Shall I go on?
CLYDE: How very peculiar.
RUBY: Your little cub reporters not taking notes?
SARAH JANE: My name's Sarah Jane Smith. I'm not an amateur, and I don't think you are either.
RUBY: I don't care what you think. Your minute's up. Get out. Now.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Ruby Ann White. First class degree in biophysics from Oxford. Attached to the Auckland Institute. Recently returned from New Zealand.
SARAH JANE: Okay, save the rest for later.
CLYDE: You got to admit she sounds kosher.
RANI: Yeah, just like us, except ruder. Sarah Jane?
SARAH JANE: Hmm? Oh, sorry. What were we talking about?
CLYDE: Er, Ruby White?
SARAH JANE: Oh, sorry. I was miles away.
RANI: So what do we do about her?
SARAH JANE: What she wants. We stay away. Yeah, but we keep our eyes open. Right, you two, home. It's been a long day.
CLYDE: You okay, Sarah Jane?
SARAH JANE: Fine. Bye.

(Clyde and Rani leave. Sarah Jane's hand shakes violently.)

[Outside the Chandra home]

(Haresh and Rani are helping Gita load up the florist's van.)

GITA: No, this one. Oh. Huh? Did you see that face, then? So cheeky.

(Ruby walks past on the other side of the road, in a bright red jacket.)

GITA: Yoo hoo. Hello, new neighbour.
RUBY: Hello.
RANI: Hello. Afternoon.

(Ruby walks around the corner.)

GITA: Ooo, charming. Frosty the snow woman.
RANI: Yeah, maybe she's got her reasons.
HARESH: Somebody knows something.
RANI: Yeah, went round there the other day.
GITA: Oh?
RANI: Just to say hello.
GITA: Hello, Clyde. Secret new friend? Why wasn't I invited?
CLYDE: She's not the friendly type. Hello, sir. You know, I'm still not feeling the yellow.

(They have painted the outside of the house.)

HARESH: It was Gita's idea.
GITA: It's like summer all year round. Number 46, is she? I've always wanted to look in there, but she was a right ratbag, that old Mrs Kuthrapali.
HARESH: Gita. The woman's only been dead a month.
GITA: Afternoon, Sarah!
SARAH JANE: Hi. Can't stop. Have to put Luke's tea on.
HARESH: Is Luke back? Rani didn't say.
SARAH JANE: What? No, no, he's not back. Sorry, excuse me.
GITA: Oh, shall I go over?
RANI: No, Mum, leave her alone. Come on, Clyde. We need to go pick up that stuff.
GITA: Bye. Come on, Haresh.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

CLYDE: Look, I know she's been acting a bit weird, but that was off the scale.
RANI: And now she's left the door open. You know what? She needs a holiday.
CLYDE: You're right. Let's tell her.
RANI: No, wait. You hang back five minutes. I'll do it.

[Attic]

(Luke is on Mister Smith's screen.)

LUKE [on screen]: Mum, is something wrong?
SARAH JANE: No, nothing. Just wanted a chat. Missing you.
LUKE [on screen]: Already? It's only been a couple of hours since you called.
SARAH JANE: Well, Mum's prerogative. How's er, oh, whatshisname. Metal dog?
LUKE [on screen]: You mean K9? Yeah, he's good.

(Rani sneaks in.)

LUKE [on screen]: Mum, are you sure you're all right?
SARAH JANE: Yes, I'm absolutely fine.
LUKE [on screen]: Hey, Rani.
RANI: Hi, Luke. Don't worry, I'm keeping your mum out of trouble.
LUKE [on screen]: Oh, tough job. Listen, I said I'd meet Sanjay back at the Union. I've got to go, okay? See you later. Bye.

(Transmission ends.)

SARAH JANE: Love you. Right, what can I do you for?
RANI: You are not all right, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: Oh, yeah, I've been waiting for this, Rani. I forget something, I make a silly mistake, and you blow it into this big disaster.
RANI: No, I'm not even going to try. Hey, you're missing Luke.
SARAH JANE: Yes, of course, but it's not just that. It's like I can't concentrate.
RANI: When was the last time you took a holiday, a proper holiday?
SARAH JANE: Oh no, I love my work. I don't need one.
RANI: When was the last time?
SARAH JANE: Look, I can't put a sign on the dark side of the moon, oh, don't invade this week, because old Smith, she's on her hols.
RANI: Go and see Luke, just for a few days. He only lives an hour down the road.
MR SMITH: Red alert. Red alert.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, report.
MR SMITH: Spacecraft approaching the solar system.
SARAH JANE: Get it on the screen.
MR SMITH: Scanning. No visual contact. Suggest intruders are using shields.
SARAH JANE: Bring up their data traces, quick. A fleet, moving in to attack.
MR SMITH: Inference. Invasion of Earth.

(Clyde enters.)

SARAH JANE: Identify.
CLYDE: Whoa.
SARAH JANE: The Dark Horde. Oh, bad news. They've never come this near to Earth.
MR SMITH: Their ships are undetectable by human techno. Alert. Our scan beam is being traced.
SARAH JANE: Well, switch it off.
MR SMITH: Too late, they have located us. Dark Horde strategy will be to neutralise any technology considered a threat.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, I know them, what they did on the Kravasta colonies. Oh, they'll be coming straight at us.
MR SMITH: A teleport beam is locking down on the attic. I can divert it, but not reverse it.
SARAH JANE: Bring them down in the nearest uninhabited area.
MR SMITH: Complying.
SARAH JANE: And contact UNIT.
MR SMITH: All transmissions are now blocked.
RANI: What, we're on our own?
SARAH JANE: Oh well, life was getting boring anyway. Rani, take that. Clyde, your hour has come.

(Sarah takes a ray gun out of the safe.)

RANI: What are you doing?
SARAH JANE: Our job is to protect this planet by any means.
CLYDE: Are you serious?
SARAH JANE: More than I've ever been.
CLYDE: You're going to let him fire that? Sarah Jane, this is not like you.
SARAH JANE: Oh, stop talking and move!

[Junk yard]

(Piles of old tyres, rusting vehicles.)

RANI: How many do you think there are?
CLYDE: Should we split up?
SARAH JANE: No. Stay close. They're down. Three of them. Advance party. They'll knock us out, then fortify.

(An energy bolt flies past them. The Horde use Stargate Jaffa Ma'Tok staff weapons.)

SARAH JANE: Whoa. Down, down!
RANI: They're coming.
SARAH JANE: They won't kill us till they've scanned us. First indigenous specimens. The fireworks are just scare tactics.
CLYDE: The scare tactics are working.
SARAH JANE: We need them close. They're ruthlessly logical. This is a scanning blind. It'll overload their sensors. They'll think we're tougher than them. They tell the fleet, they withdraw. Simple.
CLYDE: Then use it!
SARAH JANE: They're close enough. Need to activate it. Clyde, the sonic.
CLYDE: I don't have it.
SARAH JANE: What? I told you to bring it.
CLYDE: You said bring this.
SARAH JANE: What good's that? It's not even charged.
CLYDE: What's Plan B?
SARAH JANE: There is no plan B. Oh, I've got us killed.

(The Horde arrive at their hiding place.)

HORDE: Scan complete. Inferiors. Eliminate.
SARAH JANE: I'm so sorry. Oh, Luke.
RUBY: Dark Horde Warriors. You got it wrong, boys. Scan over here. Wait till you see what I've got for you.

(Ruby holds up two white globes.)

RUY: Clyde. Rani. Trust me. Clyde, left. Rani, right.

(The children run.)

RUBY: Catch.

(She throws the globes to them and takes out a disc.)

RUBY: When I shout, press the buttons. Trust me.
HORDE: Inferiors. Eliminate.
RUBY: Now!

(They trap the Horde inside an energy triangle, and they teleport away.)

RUBY: Is everyone all right?
CLYDE: What did you just do?
RUBY: You mean, what did we do?

(Ruby's disc speaks.)

MR WHITE: Dark Horde fleet retreating.
RANI: What's that?
MR WHITE: I'm an artificial intelligence. Hello.
CLYDE: Hello. Somebody explain.
MR WHITE: With your help, I reflected back to the Horde an image of a slightly stronger version of themselves. Their logical reaction was to flee.
RANI: Cool. You should call him Mister White.
SARAH JANE: Ruby, you saved our lives. You saved the Earth. You are amazing.
RUBY: No, I've been doing my research. If anyone's amazing, it's you, Sarah Jane. Rani Chandra, Clyde Langer, thank you both. I don't think we were properly introduced last time, which is my fault, jumping to conclusions. You're no amateurs. If that handshake is still on offer, Sarah Jane?

(The two women shake hands.)

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Welcome to the attic.
RUBY: Wow, this is incredible.
MR SMITH: And rather unexpected.
CLYDE: Ruby White, say hello to Mister Smith.
RANI: She's a friend.
RUBY: Mister Smith. Wow. Jello. Makes my revelation a little less impressive.
RANI: Nah, he's good. Pocket sized.
RUBY: Mister White, I like that. Reminds me of my dad.
RANI: Where did you get him?
RUBY: New Zealand. Dredged him out of a swamp. I couldn't turn him in to the authorities. They'd just strip him down and use him as a weapon of war.
RANI: Mister Smith, meet Mister White.
MR WHITE: Hello, Mister Smith.
MR SMITH: You're certainly the most agreeable artificial intelligence I've met since I've been on this planet.
MR WHITE: You're not so bad yourself, Smithy. RUBY: There's so much out there. Alien civilisations. When I was a kid, I never dreamed the universe could be so strange and beautiful. Finally, people I can talk to about all this. It's like a dream.
CLYDE: Well, welcome to the club.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

CLYDE: I really like her.
RANI: Yeah, me too. She's so much like Sarah Jane.
CLYDE: Cooler car, though.
RANI: This is proper good news. We've got a new mate. Sarah Jane's got someone to take the pressure off.
CLYDE: Isn't that what we're for?

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Oh, I love Clyde and Rani. They're great kids, but they're a different generation. I could do with a grown up friend.
RANI: Well, I need a friend too. I got you so wrong the other day. My big mouth.
SARAH JANE: No, no, you were right about one thing. I put children in danger. Today I nearly got them killed. Sonic lipstick, which I take everywhere with me, except this afternoon, when I really needed it.
RUBY: Sonic lipstick? Well, now I really feel inadequate.
SARAH JANE: You've led a normal life. Nothing's been normal for me. I was 23, thought I knew it all. Just another day, chasing a story, trying to make my name. Then my world turned upside down.
RUBY: Oh, no. What happened?
SARAH JANE: I met him, didn't I? The man who changed my life.
RUBY: Who's that?
SARAH JANE: He's, er. Oh, it's the Doctor. Yes, the Doctor.
RUBY: I'm terrible with names, too. It's no big deal.

(Later, Ruby has left.)

SARAH JANE [on screen]: The man who changed my life.
RUBY [on screen]: Who's that?
SARAH JANE [on screen]: He's. er. Oh, it's the Doctor. Yes, the Doctor.
RUBY [on screen]: I'm terrible with names, too.
SARAH JANE: Finish replay. How could I forget his name, even for a second? How could I? Mister Smith. I want a full medi-scan.
MR SMITH: Of Ruby?
SARAH JANE: Of me. Do it.
MR SMITH: Complying. Compiling scan data. Sarah Jane, I do not know how to
SARAH JANE: Well, just tell me.
MR SMITH: There is evidence of deterioration of brain tissue, cognitive dysfunction, impaired reaction times. Damage is not serious, but it cannot be treated. I am sorry. You are very ill indeed.
SARAH JANE: Listen, in my current condition, should I be given a position of responsibility and authority over other people's lives?
MR SMITH: Sarah Jane, it is not my
SARAH JANE: I want an answer.
MR SMITH: No.
SARAH JANE: Thank you, Mister Smith. So, no one's irreplaceable.

(Another time, Clyde and Rani are showing Ruby a piece of alien tech.)

RANI: Try it, it won't bite.
CLYDE: It pongs, though.

[Ruby's car]

(Rani gets into the driver's seat.)

GITA: Are you sure about this, Ru?
RANI: Mum, it's only one lesson.
RUBY: Bye, Mrs Chandra.
GITA: Oh, Ru, call me Gita.
RUBY: Call me Ruby.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Ruby, I can't do this any more.
RUBY: What? Don't be stupid.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith scanned me. Second best doctor I know. I'm getting old, it's too much for me. Ruby, look at my hands.
RUBY: You need to calm down.
SARAH JANE: Now, listen. I am ill. My life has made me ill. I'm old and I'm tired and I'm dangerous. I nearly got Clyde and Rani killed and, no, that must never happen again. No, it's over. I'm over. My story is finished. But this planet, it needs someone to protect it. Are you that person? Are you the woman I think you are?
RUBY: You want me to take over?
SARAH JANE: You're so much like I used to be.
RUBY: Wait, wait, wait. We need to stop and think.
SARAH JANE: We do not have timem and we don't need to think. You're the only other person in the world who could do this. I wouldn't ask unless I was completely sure. If you agree, you get this house, you get Mister Smith, you get Clyde, Rani, you get everything. Yes or no?
RUBY: I can't suddenly decide something this big.
SARAH JANE: Yes or no.
RUBY: Yes.
SARAH JANE: Right. Well, I'm leaving right now.
RUBY: You can't be serious.
SARAH JANE: Oh, I have to. If I don't, I'll change my mind.
RUBY: What about Luke?
SARAH JANE: He doesn't need me any more. He's got his own life and I won't be a burden to him. It's harsh, but this life is harsh. Just remember, one day, this'll happen to you. So, it's a deal?
RUBY: It's a deal.
SARAH JANE: Right. Mister Smith? Program Alpha three. You delete my voice from the command program. Your orders now come from Ruby White.
MR SMITH: Do you think that is wise, Sarah Jane?
SARAH JANE: It's an order. My last order.
MR SMITH: Con, confirmed.
RUBY: So, Sarah Jane, what are you going to do with yourself now?
SARAH JANE: Oh, no plans. I'm just going to drive off and see where I end up. Well, it's all yours. Keys. And the watch. Oh, yes, I mustn't forget this.

(Sarah Jane gives Ruby the sonic lipstick.)

SARAH JANE: Yes, now you've got everything.
RUBY: Thank you. Oh, are you okay?
SARAH JANE: I'm fine.

(Ruby takes down Sarah Jane's photographs.)

RUBY: We're all going to miss you, Sarah Jane. Me and all your little chums. Wonderful, brilliant Rani and amazing, plucky Clyde. Oh, and your son. Lukey wukey pukey. But you don't want these. Your mind's made up. No looking back, no goodbyes. You're a hard woman, Sarah Jane. What am I going to tell those poor, poor kids?
SARAH JANE: Wait, I can't think.
RUBY: No time to think, you said. No one's going to change your mind, least of all me.
SARAH JANE: No, I can't leave.
RUBY: You can't?
SARAH JANE: Not like this. I didn't even say goodbye to Luke.
RUBY: It's the way you wanted it.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, get Luke on the screen. Mister Smith.
RUBY: He's not answering. Oh, silly me. Your voice has been erased from the command program, hasn't it?
SARAH JANE: Yes, Ruby, please, patch me back in, I must talk to my son.
RUBY: No.
SARAH JANE: What? Ruby, please. What's happening?

(Ruby catches Sarah Jane as she swoons.)

RUBY: What's happening is you're not in charge any more. You gave me these, you gave me this place, and you gave me yourself. Well, what's left of you.
SARAH JANE: Ruby, no.
RUBY: Oh, shush, shush, don't struggle.

(Ruby presses her large green ring and teleports them away.)

[Cellar]

SARAH JANE: Where, Where are we?
RUBY: You've got your secret attic. Welcome to my secret cellar.

(Something large and red is throbbing in an alcove.)

SARAH JANE: Oh, lord, what is that?
RUBY: You mean over there? That's my stomach. And it's hungry for your soul. Yes, you are ill. I made you ill. I've been draining you dry. Sucking your life force, every time we met, drop by drop. Would you like to see?
SARAH JANE: Ruby, please. Ruby, no. Ruby. What are you?
RUBY: I am Qetesh. My race devours the excitement and excesses of life. The adventures, the terrors, the thrills. That's why I came for you. Yours is the most exciting life on the planet.
SARAH JANE: I trusted you.
RUBY: Well I did my homework. A meteor, playing hard to get, saving you from the Dark Horde. Oh, you saw yourself in me, and so did Clyde and Rani.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, well, they'll find me.
RUBY: Hmm, no. Right now, Mister White is back in the attic preparing a very, very touching farewell message. Clyde and Rani will believe you've gone, because you're going to tell them.
SARAH JANE: No!
RUBY: You've handed me your life. Now my stomach can drain you directly.

(Ruby fastens Sarah Jane to the wall and transfers energy directly from her to the stomach. I'm thinking the Wraith from the Atlantis Galaxy.)

RUBY: Soon it will drain you completely, and then my adventure begins. I will feast on this world.

Part Two

[Cellar]

RUBY: Your life essence is delicious. And you're just the starter. Once it's consumed you, it'll be big enough to absorb many more life essences. Many, many souls at a time.
SARAH JANE: How? What are you going to do?
RUBY: Well, I'm going to carry on your work. Well, with one big difference. I'll still be tracking aliens from the attic, yes, but, I'm going to help them.
SARAH JANE: Help them? How?
RUBY: Anyway they like. They want all the water? Go ahead, drink up. Mineral wealth? That way. Colonise? Pick a continent.
SARAH JANE: You'll destroy the planet.
RUBY: Eventually, yes. But what an exciting time humanity will have.
SARAH JANE: No!
RUBY: And I will feed on every drop of their terror and despair.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

RANI: I'll get my hair done like Lady Gaga, all skew wiff, then dye it streaked.
CLYDE: No way. This is a wind-up. I know one when I hear one. Oh, the door's open again.
RANI: Oi, I'm serious.

[Attic]

CLYDE: Sarah Jane, tell Rani she's. Oh, sorry, Rubes. Where's Sarah Jane?
RUBY: Play.
SARAH JANE [on screen]: I want you to listen. Please don't start shouting. Most important, don't take it out on Ruby.
CLYDE: What's this?
SARAH JANE [on screen]: I nearly got you killed. You aren't safe with me any longer.
RANI: What? No.

[Cellar]

(The recording is also being relayed to a screen here, where Sarah Jane can see it.)

SARAH JANE: No. Oh, please, no.
SARAH JANE [on screen]: This life is exciting and wonderful.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE [on screen]: But it changes you, and it's hard. We have a responsibility, all of us. The biggest responsibility is knowing when to stop. So I'm stopping. I've gone.
CLYDE: What? Gone where?
SARAH JANE [on screen]: Ruby is talking my place. She needs your full trust and support, and I know you'll be mature enough to give that to her. Please don't try and find me. You've been incredible. Clyde, Rani, and Ruby defending the Earth from an attic in Ealing. What could be better? Goodbye.

[Cellar]

SARAH JANE: That isn't me! That isn't me!

[Attic]

CLYDE: You knew about this and you didn't tell us?
RANI: No, Clyde, no. You heard what Sarah Jane said.
CLYDE: She wouldn't go and not tell us.
RUBY: I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. I'm so sorry.
RANI: It's not your fault, Ruby.
CLYDE: Luke'll know where she's gone.
RUBY: No, she even didn't tell him. She knew he would talk her out of it.
RANI: What, Luke doesn't know?
RUBY: I don't know what to say.
CLYDE: Just shut up.
RANI: Clyde! I've just got to talk to him.

(Clyde and Rani leave. Ruby picks up Mister White.)

RUBY: Oh. I'm almost upsetting myself.

(She teleports.)

[Cellar]

RUBY: Enjoying the show?
SARAH JANE: They'll find a way to stop you.
RUBY: The hope of the dying tastes so sweet.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

(Clyde is on his phone.)

CLYDE: You've got to get this message. You've got to help.
RANI: Clyde? Are you okay?
CLYDE: You and your stupid holiday. You put this in her head and now she's gone, just like my dad's gone, and it's all your fault.
RANI: But
CLYDE: Just stay away from me.

[Chandra home]

(Rani rushes in as Haresh and Gita are about to go out.)

HARESH: Oh.
GITA: Sweetheart.
HARESH: Rani?
GITA: Whatever's the matter?
RANI: It's Sarah Jane. She's gone. She's moved away.
HARESH: What? I only saw her yesterday.
GITA: Well, are you sure, my love?
RANI: She's gone, Mum. And she just left a message with Ruby.
GITA: What? Moonlight flit? That's not her style.
RANI: She didn't even tell Luke.
GITA: Well, now I know this is rubbish. Luke's her son. The way Sarah Jane looks at Luke. Well, it's the same way I look at you. A mother knows. I see you two, having a laugh, sharing your big secret. Don't think I've not noticed. You and her, you have something special. Sometimes, I get a bit jealous.
RANI: Mum, don't say that.
GITA: But Sarah Jane makes you happy, and that makes me happy. You listen to me, Rani Chandra. She would never, ever just run off.

[Attic]

CLYDE: Where's Ruby?
MR SMITH: Clyde.
CLYDE: Tell me.
MR SMITH: I, I cannot comply. Clyde, I
CLYDE: Doesn't matter. Find Sarah Jane. I'm going after her.
MR SMITH: I, I cannot com, comply.
CLYDE: What's wrong with you?
MR SMITH: Letter two.
CLYDE: Mister Smith?
MR SMITH: Letter two.
CLYDE: What does that mean?
MR SMITH: Letter two.
CLYDE: What, like the alphabet? The letter B?
MR SMITH: Letter five. Letter twenty three.
CLYDE: B E W. Beware. Beware what?

(Ruby enters.)

RUBY: Clyde, are you okay? I was worried. What you said before
CLYDE: Forget it, we've got to find Sarah Jane.
RUBY: She doesn't want us to find her.
MR SMITH: Letter eighteen. Eighteen.
RUBY: What was that? Mister Smith?
CLYDE: What's the matter with you?
MR SMITH: There's nothing wrong. A minor malfunction, now rectified.
CLYDE: He was trying to tell me something. Beware and then letter eighteen. What's letter eighteen in the alphabet?
RUBY: Huh? That's R.
CLYDE: For Ruby. Mister Smith was trying to warn me it's you. You've done this. You made Sarah Jane go.

(Ruby applauds Clyde, then grabs his arm.)

RUBY: Clyde, We could've had so much fun together, but I can't have you running to Rani and I've heard enough from the Zylox. Shut him down, Mister White.
WHITE: With pleasure.
CLYDE: No. Mister Smith. No. Mister Smith. Oh, get off me.

[Spacecraft]

(Ruby teleports them both to a small white room.)

CLYDE: Where is this?

(Ruby pushes him to a porthole.)

RUBY: Take a look. Recognise it? I think that bit's Finland. This was my prison. My people exiled me. We have a, a hunger. Mine was too strong. They trapped me here for eternity with only a game system for company. Only now it's my ship.
CLYDE: What, this golf ball?
RUBY: Well, I reprogrammed the games device. It took me a while. A long while.
CLYDE: Mister White? He's a PlayStation?
RUBY: He's taken me to so many places. But don't go looking for them. They're sadly no longer with us.
CLYDE: But Sarah Jane scanned you
RUBY: Ah, this has a biodamper. It screened me. Belonged to a previous friend, God rest her soul.
CLYDE: Where's Sarah Jane?
RUBY: Oh, she's watching us right now. I was going to feed off you, Clyde. I wanted your love, your dependence, your hope. And then your despair.

[Cellar]

SARAH JANE: You can't. Leave him alone.
RUBY [on screen]: Now this ship will be your prison, too. But only for a little while.

[Spacecraft]

RUBY: We've only got the air we came in with, and I don't need it. Goodbye, Clyde.

(Ruby teleports away.)

CLYDE: No! No, Ruby!

[Chandra home]

(Rani is using her phone.)

RANI: Come on, Clyde, pick up.
MESSAGE: The number you dialled is not available. Please try again

(Doorbell.)

RANI: Clyde!

(She opens the front door.)

LUKE: What the hell's going on?

(Inside. K9 is on Rani's laptop screen because he has to stay in Luke's room at university.)

LUKE: Then suddenly I've got Clyde leaving me a message. I rush down here and you tell me Mum's gone. What did you do? I trusted you.
RANI: Oh, so it's my fault again.
LUKE: You and Clyde. You must've done something to drive her away.
RANI: You're the one who left her.
K9 [on screen]: Mistress. Immediate cessation. Stop arguing. We must locate Mistress Sarah Jane. Cooperation between all units essential.
LUKE: Sorry, Rani. Where's Clyde? We need him.
RANI: K9, can you track Clyde's phone, tell me where he is?
K9 [on screen]: Attempting to contact mobile now.
RANI: We'll get him round here. Mum and Dad will be gone for hours.
K9 [on screen]: Phone out of communication range. However, transponder locators indicate vectors 471.3 231.4.
LUKE: That's impossible. Recalculate.
K9 [on screen]: Calculation confirmed.
RANI: What's the matter?
LUKE: Those coordinates. That's space. He's in orbit.

[Spacecraft]

CLYDE: Help!

(Clyde is running out of oxygen. He tries his phone again.)

[Chandra home]

LUKE: We have to get to the attic. We need Mister Smith.
RANI: Wait, wait, wait. Both of you try this. Today, Sarah Jane runs away without saying a word. Ruby takes over and Clyde is now in space. What are the chances of that?
K9 [on screen]: Zero point one percent.
RANI: Which means it's not by chance. Which means it's Ruby. And I believed her.
LUKE: Ruby. She's got Mum and and she's got Clyde. And my mum saw it, we didn't. None of us.
LUKE: Wait. Have you still got that photo of Ruby and Mister White?

(Rani calls it up on her phone.)

RANI: Here.
LUKE: K9, scan it.
K9 [on screen]: Affirmative, Master Luke. Scan reveals technology of Mister White unit is of Qetesh origin.
LUKE: What's a Qetesh?
K9 [on screen]: They are called Soul Stealers. Skilled in manipulation, they create heightened emotional states in their victims and drain their life essence.
LUKE: Ruby's a Qetesh. Mum wasn't ill, Ruby was feeding from her.
RANI: Oh, Luke, I am so sorry.
LUKE: She tricked you all. It's not your fault.
K9 [on screen]: Alert. Image does not show entirety of Qetesh entity. The human part is just the mouth. Qetesh stomach must be nearby.
RANI: The stomach? Oh, my God. Sarah Jane.

[Cellar]

SARAH JANE: No

[Attic]

RUBY: Oh, I can feel Sarah Jane Smith fading away.
MR WHITE: On schedule.
RUBY: Not long now.

[Chandra home]

LUKE: Rani, get out of my way.
RANI: You run in there and she will kill you. We need to think. You taught me to think, use logic.
LUKE: Logic? Mister Smith should have seen this.
K9 [on screen]: Inferior Smith was dominated by Qetesh Mister White unit. Typical.
RANI: Well, can we get him back on our side?
K9 [on screen]: Scans reveal that Mister White unit is a modified and corrupted holographic entertainment system.
LUKE: Of course. 5D holograms. Rani, there never was a meteor or an invasion, it was all special effects.
K9 [on screen]: Also, Mister White unit must control a teleport link.
LUKE: Which is how Clyde's got up there.
K9 [on screen]: Correct.
RANI: So, Mister White, he's just a games console?
K9 [on screen]: But massively upgraded.
LUKE: Can you wipe him, get rid of the upgrades?
RANI: Reset him. See? Logic.
K9 [on screen]: I can transmit a reset codec. I can then assume control, release Mister Smith and rescue Master Clyde.
LUKE: Then do it, now.
K9 [on screen]: Regret. I will need direct access to transmit signal.
LUKE: Oh, no. No. Wait. K9, if we get this close to Mister White, can you send the signal that way?

(Luke holds a mobile phone.)

K9 [on screen]: Affirmative. Caution, audio relay not ideal. It will take some minutes to complete reset.
RANI: Some minutes. How many's some?
LUKE: Doesn't matter. Let's go.
RANI: Stop. She'll know something's up if you walk in there.

(Rani takes the phone.)

LUKE: You can't.
RANI: It's the only way, or Clyde and Sarah Jane will die.

[Spacecraft]

(Clyde records a message.)

CLYDE: Rani, Sarah Jane, Luke. My time's almost up. It'll soon be over. But you'll find the phone. Sarah Jane, you're the best. Don't ever beat yourself up about this, okay? I've had the best time. And tell Mum I had to go away. Tell her I'm sorry. And Luke? Best mates, forever, yeah? Rani, you're brilliant. I always, I always

(He passes out.)

[Attic]

(Ruby is letting Mister White scan the sonic lipstick when Rani enters.)

RUBY: Rani. How's Clyde? How's everything?
RANI: Clyde's not good with his emotions. You know what blokes are like. Come here, Ruby, I need a hug.
RUBY: Oh. Oh. I thought you'd blame me.
RANI: I'd never blame you.

[Chandra home]

(Luke is watching on the laptop. Rani puts her phone down next to Mister White.)

RANI [OC]: You know we'll always be mates. Clyde's just a bit touchy, because of his dad.

[Attic]

RANI: Look, I could do with a girly chat, though.
RUBY: Oh, OK.
RANI: How are you holding up? It must be really hard on you.
RUBY: Oh, the shock of it. She just sprang it on me last night, I've hardly slept.
RANI: And I bet she didn't give you much choice.
RUBY: You know Sarah Jane. I keep hoping she'll suddenly walk through the door, but if it really is me in charge, then, I'm going to need you, Rani.
RANI: Oh, Ruby
RUBY: Oh. Oh, come on. There, there, it'll be all right. You and me.
RANI: And Clyde.
RUBY: And Clyde, of course.

(Luke holds up a Come On sign to K9, who flashes his red light in response.)

RANI: There's something else. I can say it now she's gone. Don't tell Clyde. I prefer you to Sarah Jane. You're going to be so much more fun. With Sarah Jane, it was just rules, rules, rules. Don't wander off, do your homework. You know, to be honest, it's a relief she's gone.
RUBY: Oh, Rani. That's so sweet. You shouldn't say things like that, because they're not very convincing.

(Ruby grabs Rani's arm.)

RANI: Argh. Oh!
RUBY: Right, I enjoyed you having to do that. Now you're going to tell me why.

[Chandra home]

LUKE: K9, now. It has to be now.

[Luke's room]

K9: Contact.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Contact.

(Rani grabs the sonic lipstick.)

WHITE: Factory settings restored.

(Ruby picks up Rani's phone.)

RUBY: Clever little girl.

[Chandra home]

LUKE: Get Clyde down. Teleport now.
K9 [on screen]: Teleportation in ten seconds.

[Attic]

(Ruby crushes the phone.)

RUBY: Oh, Rani. Mummy will be so upset.

(Clyde is teleported in.)

RANI: Clyde!

(He grabs the ray gun and points it at Ruby.)

CLYDE: Stay away from her.
RUBY: I know you'll never fire that.
CLYDE: Of course not. I just wanted you standing there. Mister Smith, containment vortex now.
RUBY: A forcefield. How quaint. Don't think this is going to hold me for long.
CLYDE: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

(Luke pops up on Mister Smith's screen.)

LUKE [on screen]: Rani, I love you. Mister White, my mum, where is she?
MR SMITH: Your mother's in the cellar at Number 46, Old Forest Road.

(And a picture of that scene comes up.)

RANI: Ugh, that must be Ruby's stomach.

[Chandra home]

LUKE: Mum.

[Attic]

CLYDE: Her what?
RUBY: My stomach.
MR SMITH: Vortex compromised.
RUBY: Better start running.
MR SMITH: Vortex compromised.
LUKE [on screen]: Get over there. I'll deal with her.

(Rani and Clyde leave.)

RUBY: Luke Smith. You really are your mother's son. But it changes nothing. She's finished. Clyde and Rani are next, and then I'm coming for you.
MR SMITH: Containment vortex critical.

(The forcefield fails, and she reaches for Mister Smith.)

RUBY: Mine, I think.

(And gets an electric shock.)

RUBY: Ow!

[Chandra home]

LUKE: No chance. Give it up, now.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: I have blocked all teleport transmissions.
RUBY: Well, I can still use my legs. My power is growing, and soon no one on this planet will be safe from me.

[Chandra home]

LUKE: Mister Smith, what she said. Her power's growing, so it's not ready yet.
MR SMITH: I do not understand you, Luke.
LUKE: Both of you, give me everything you've got on Qetesh. The way they feed, the stomach. Mister White, clear hologram channels for emergency transmission.

[Cellar]

(Rani and Clyde run in.)

CLYDE: Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: Get back.

(Rani sonicks the chains off Sarah Jane.)

SARAH JANE: Oh, oh I knew. Oh, I knew you could do it.
RANI: We're getting out of here.
RUBY: I'm afraid not. This is where the adventure ends. Yours, not mine. I wouldn't normally do this, but for you three it'll be a pleasure. Direct absorption of living flesh.

(The stomach lurches forward and reveals a mouth full of needle teeth.)

RUBY: Goodbye, Sarah Jane Smith.
LUKE: Qetesh. This is your one and only warning.
SARAH JANE: Luke.
LUKE: Leave this planet now.
RUBY: And here's sonny boy. Are you threatening me? You're nothing! Why don't you come and join the feast.
LUKE: (into phone) Mister White, hologram program now.

[Bannerman Road]

HARESH: Of course Sarah Jane hasn't run off. Bet Rani's with her and Langer right now, doing whatever it is they do.
GITA: Haresh!

(Numerous fireballs are heading straight down to the ground.)

HARESH: Get down.

[Cellar]

(Ruby holds her head in pain.)

LUKE: You wanted thrills, Qetesh? Well, here they are. Mister White's sending out a hologram. Right now, everyone on Earth is seeing your meteor coming right to them. Millions of them. He's giving it everything he's got.
RANI: And you're giving her what she wants.
SARAH JANE: But too much. An emotional surge from six billion people all in one go. It's overwhelming her.

(Ruby is on her knees.)

SARAH JANE: Feedback from the whole world.

(The energy streams from Ruby into her stomach, which swells rapidly.)

CLYDE: Starter, main course, pudding, everything at once. You've been super-sized.

(Ruby finally collapses as the stomach is engorged.)

CLYDE: It's going to splurge, I know it. It's going to splurge.

(Instead, it collapses like a punctured balloon, returning Sarah Jane's life energy to her. She does a mini-regeneration.)

LUKE: Everything you've taken from my mum. She's getting it back.

(The fireball shower stops.)

SARAH JANE: Thank you, Rani. Hello, Luke. Welcome home.
CLYDE: You aced it, Lukeyboy. Oh, look. It didn't splurge.

(Clyde goes over to the tiny stomach, and gets a face full of pink goo.)

CLYDE: Okay. It did.
SARAH JANE: Ruby You made a big mistake coming here. What we do, it isn't for thrills. It's not yours to take.
RUBY: Sarah Jane, I underestimated you.
SARAH JANE: No. You know me inside out. I knew I could rely on Luke and Rani and Clyde. I could always rely on them.
RUBY: But my hunger, I need to feed. I can't help the way I am.
SARAH JANE: Yeah, but you didn't have to enjoy it so much. I wish I could help you, but I can't.
RUBY: What are you going to do to me?
SARAH JANE: That teleport bracelet, a link up to your prison, where your people judged you should be. Who am I to question their judgment?
RUBY: No, no, don't send me back into the darkness. Please, you understand. I can't be alone. You know what that's like.
RANI: Don't fall for it, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE: Oh, Rani. I wasn't born yesterday.

(Sarah Jane sonicks the teleport ring.)

RUBY: This isn't the end. I'll make you regret this.

[Spacecraft]

RUBY: You will suffer for this, Sarah Jane Smith.
MR SMITH [OC]: Gravity lock disengaging.
RUBY: This world will suffer!

(The little spacecraft heads towards the sun.)

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Right, Mister White is going straight into the safe.
CLYDE: Can't I keep him? He's just a flashy games console now.
SARAH JANE: Nice try. No.

(Rani is on a phone.)

RANI: No, Mum. I didn't see anything. Probably just an advert or something. One of those new 3D games. Yeah. I'll be home soon. I promise. Bye.
SARAH JANE: 3D games? I like that. Get Mister Smith to do a cover story.
MR SMITH: So, I take it I the combined efforts of myself and K9 were satisfactory?
SARAH JANE: You called him K9.
MR SMITH: He's not so bad after all. I've met worse.
K9 [on screen]: It is an equitable arrangement.
CLYDE: Get a room, boys.
SARAH JANE: All of you saved me. Every single one of you played a part. Thank you. But don't think you're having an easy ride. We've got a planet to protect.
CLYDE: You sure you're up to it?
SARAH JANE: Oh, Clyde. With a team like this? Yeah, I think I can go on forever.

(A car horn sounds outside.)

SARAH JANE: Oh, that's our ride.
RANI: Ride where?
SARAH JANE: Pizza, cinema, whatever you like. I think we've earned one night off.
MR SMITH: Goodbye, Sarah Jane.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

CLYDE: Lukey boy.

(They all get into the bright yellow Beetle.)

SARAH JANE [OC]: Yes, there are amazing things up there in the universe, but they've got some very stiff competition down here on Earth.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.