Skip to content
TARDIS Guide

Overview

Released

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Written by

Tim Foley

Directed by

Barnaby Edwards

Runtime

55 minutes

Tropes (Potential Spoilers!)

LGBTQA+

Synopsis

Chris is on a date. But it isn't working out. Perhaps he'll end it over dinner. Or on a cruise. Or in a lunar spa. But who are these figures in red? And why are they so invested in his relationship?

All of reality might be at stake, and the Monks will pursue Chris wherever he goes - but as long as he manages to break up with his boyfriend, the Doctor, everything might be saved...

Add Review Edit Review Log a repeat

Edit date completed

Characters

How to listen to Five Hundred Ways to Leave Your Lover:

Reviews

Add Review Edit Review

7 reviews
Very interesting premise for a story, and an interesting new use for the Monks. Chris is a great character for this story, and he has some great chemistry with Eight.
A.

Azurillkirby

View profile


This review contains spoilers!

A very fun romp that takes advantage of the Eighth Doctor as a Bryonian romance figure (albeit one more interested in the sights than talking feelings, much to the chagrin of his apparent boyfriend) and the trippy nature of the Monks (particularly use of simulations and forced consent). I thought the Monks were well utilised and the set pieces were nicely judged. The slightly sour note of the Doctor's simulation dying without telling his real self (the contrivances of keeping story elements secret for the TV show rarely fail to annoy me) of the Monks was helped by the discovery if real Mark for a sweet ending- but one that also unpicks the (somewhat trite) emotional pathos for lead Chris. Hard to be disappointed by a story with plenty of gay (though there could be even more if you ask me).


FM4213

View profile


This review contains spoilers!

it was beautiful!! honestly one my new favorites though i also would have wished the doctor would have had an actual boyfriend, even for just one story. big finish should just bring Fitz Kreiner back to audio tbh because he is the doctors ultimate boyfriend. still i loved this very much 🖤


eldritchlamb

View profile


What a beautiful story about love, consent and self respect. Amazing performances all round, a great use of the monks, and a perfect encapsulation of what makes 8 my Doctor and why I adore him so much.

Just a fab story to end a fantastic character driven set.


BSCTDrayden

View profile


THIS WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL


Rock_Angel

View profile


Open in new window

Statistics

AVG. Rating61 members
4.15 / 5

Member Statistics

Listened

76

Favourited

9

Reviewed

7

Saved

2

Skipped

0

Quotes

Add Quote

CHRIS: The overrides are biometrically linked to me.

DOCTOR: So I’d need a sample of your DNA to trip the lock. Right! You know what you need to do.

CHRIS: Oh, all right, fine. I’ll kiss you.

(Mwah! Chris kisses the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: Oh. No, I just meant a follicle of your hair.

CHRIS: Oh. Really?

DOCTOR: But don’t worry about it.

CHRIS: Oh, I’m so embarrassed.

DOCTOR: There should be enough on my lips, um—oh, actually I probably need a bit extra. Hang on.

(Mmmmwah! The Doctor kisses Chris back.)