[Yard]

(Darius is looking around. He finds a device and walks away, but two tramps confront him.)

TRAMP 1: What’s your flipping game?
TRAMP 2: Yeah, this is our patch, so you can just stroll on!
TRAMP 1: Yeah, stroll!
DARIUS: Your patch? Umm… So, show me some ownership papers.
TRAMP 1: Ain’t we fighting it, (unclear)? We’ve found ourselves a comedian!
TRAMP 2: Yeah, watching it!
TRAMP 1: You want to get out of here, maggot, otherwise the Bogeyman might get you!
DARIUS: Oh, the Bogeyman? You mean that thing behind you?

(Tramp 1 looks behind him, but then he and Tramp 2 grab Darius.)

TRAMP 1: You need to be taught a lesson! We’re going to chuck you in there and you ain’t going to come out alive! (They drag him over to a wardrobe and lock him inside.) Happy landing!

(The tramps run away, laughing.)

[Wardrobe]

DARIUS: Hey! Let me out of here, you creep! Come on, let me out of here! Come on, let me out of here! What are you doing!? Let me out of here! Hey! Come on, let me out of here! (He turns around and sees the clothes rail.) Oh, what’s happening? Hey, hey, hey! (The walls and floor disappears and he holds onto the rail in a black void. Something growls.) Help! Please, let me out of here! Help me! Please, please, please! Guys, I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry! Oh, no! Please!

[Street]

(Two CCPCs walk past Gryffen’s mansion.)

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is watching the news.)

REPORTER: These officers were in the firing line the night the Dayboro Avenue erupted. This was…

(Starkey walks in.)

GRYFFEN: You feel it too? We’re not alone. Look. (The screen shows scenes of chaos.) Spontaneous stampede at a football match, rioting, whole streets ablaze. Everywhere, panic and terror.

(A machine prints something out.)

STARKEY: Well, I feel it. You feel it. Something somewhere is causing it.

(K9 appears, surprising them.)

K9: What?
STARKEY: Nothing, fella. Prof and I have a bad feeling.
K9: A feeling that makes you jump at shadows?
GRYFFEN: A deep, dark, nameless dread.

(Darius runs in, panting.)

DARIUS: Oh, man. You guys are never going to believe what just happened to me. I just got thrown into a wardrobe and there was a bottomless pit in there and it just went down forever.
GRYFFEN: A couple of deep breaths, I think, Darius.
STARKEY: Where was this wardrobe?
DARIUS: I was in a yard somewhere.
GRYFFEN: Where was the yard?
DARIUS: Hang on, it was there!

(Darius points at the screen.)

[Yard]

REPORTER: And what did the boy say?
TRAMP 1: He was scared out of his wits. Kept on saying “there was something down there”.
REPORTER: So, what did you do?
TRAMP 1: Well, another human being in trouble? Didn’t care about myself or my own safety. Saved him, poor little scamp.
REPORTER: And this thing. How would you describe it?

[Yard / the laboratory]

DARIUS AND TRAMP 1: Huge black creeping shadow from the deep.

[Yard]

(Drake arrives and covers up the camera.)

[The laboratory]

STARKEY: What was Drake doing there?
DARIUS: Oh, duh. There was obviously an alien in the hole.

[Yard]

(Two CCPCs walk past the wardrobe. Starkey, Jorjie, Darius and K9 sneak in.)

DARIUS: Oh, what a shame, CCPC guards. Looks like we’re going to have to check this out later.
K9: Leave it to me. I have a 29d to report.
DARIUS: What the heck’s a 29d?
JORJIE: The supply of unapproved sandwiches at a picnic.

(K9 flies over to the CCPCs.)

CCPC: Hello.
K9: Officers.
CCPC: What do you want?
K9: Picnic-goers disregarding the law.
CCPC: That’s scandalous.
K9: Follow me.

(K9 leads the CCPCs outside.)

JORJIE: Nice one. He’s leading them away.
STARKEY: How do you guys feel?
JORJIE: Like my mother is watching me interfere with CCPCs and illegally cross a police cordon.
STARKEY: As bad as that?

(They spot Drake outside.)

JORJIE: We’ve got company. We can’t let him see us here.

(They run over to the wardrobe.)

DARIUS: No, no, no. Not in there.
STARKEY: Quick. Hide.
JORJIE: Move it, Darius!

(Darius enters and grabs onto the rail above the void again. Starkey and Jorjie grab onto his legs from the doorway. Something growls.)

DARIUS: Help!
STARKEY: Hold on, Darius!
DARIUS: It’s trying to suck me in!
JORJIE: I can’t hold on much longer!

(K9 returns.)

K9: Hang on, Darius. I won’t be long.

(K9 fires a beam.)

DARIUS: Hurry up, please. (The beam pulls Darius out of the wardrobe.) Now do you believe me?

(Starkey closes the door. Drake has appeared.)

DRAKE: Did you see it?
STARKEY: What?
DRAKE: The alien. (Starkey, Jorjie, Darius and K9 run away, but Jorjie turns around to see Drake going up to the wardrobe.) I’m not afraid of you! You are just a shadow of a shadow!

(A claw emerges from the wardrobe.)

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen is using a chalkboard to explain things to Starkey, Jorjie, Darius and K9.)

GRYFFEN: All of this has happened before. At times throughout history, for whatever reason, fear reaches a critical mass and then it spreads like wildfire.
K9: I’m having trouble comprehending any of this since I do not feel fear.
GRYFFEN: Okay, an example. In 1665, a plague spread across London. No one knew what caused it. One month, a thousand people died. Then two thousand. Then seven thousand. But worse than the plague was the panic. People rioting. Neighbours attacked one another. Then, finally, when the shadow of fear was at its deepest, they burned their own city to the ground. The Great Fire of London.
JORJIE: A shadow. That’s what Drake shouted out.
DARIUS: What is Drake afraid of?
STARKEY: His horrible nameless crimes might be coming back to haunt him.
JORJIE: So, what’s Darius’s excuse?
GRYFFEN: He’s afraid of enclosed spaces.
DARIUS: How do you know? I mean, says who?
GRYFFEN: Go and fetch the vacuum from the cupboard under the stairs.
DARIUS: All right. It’s my problem and I’m dealing with it.

(Jorjie looks at an animal Gryffen has drawn on the chalkboard.)

JORJIE: What’s that?
GRYFFEN: Oh, this is what spread the bubonic plague.
DARIUS: Beavers spread the bubonic plague?
STARKEY: I thought it was rats.
GRYFFEN: That is a rat!

(Gryffen hastily adds details to his drawing.)

K9: How can you be frightened of the unknown?
GRYFFEN: Ah! That’s precisely what gives us the bogeyman myth. He dwells within the dark recesses of our imaginations.
JORJIE: When I was little, I was scared to run past the dark at the top of the stairs.
STARKEY: Me too, even though I knew there was nothing there.
K9: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

(Darius laughs.)

[Department camo]

(June is at a set of controls. Drake enters.)

DRAKE: I sometimes wonder just how seriously you take your job, Inspector.
JUNE: Really? I find I’m too busy working to sit and wonder.
DRAKE: What steps are you taking about the alien infiltration in NW8?

(June presses a button. The two tramps appear on a screen.)

JUNE: Report by two vagrants. Incident was investigated and found to be baseless.
DRAKE: So, case closed as far as you’re concerned?
JUNE: Parts of London are rioting. This city is a tinderbox. There are hundreds of honest citizens reporting alien threats, every one a false alarm.
DRAKE: Not false. I’ve seen it. The alien threat is real. It’s coming from that wardrobe.
JUNE: The wardrobe? There’s a nasty monster in the wardrobe?
DRAKE: Yes, and it’s your job to stop it.
JUNE: Or open the wardrobe door and show you that it doesn’t exist.

(They leave.)

[The laboratory]

(K9 is hovering about. Starkey jumps out wearing a white sheet and a false knife through his head whilst carrying a torch. Starkey moans, growls and laughs maniacally.)

K9: Interesting. (Jorjie enters in a skeleton costume.) Yes… What astonishing behaviour.

(Starkey and Jorjie drop the act.)

STARKEY: Were you scared?
K9: What sort of a hat is that?
JORJIE: This is hopeless.
K9: No. I want to learn.
JORJIE: You don’t learn fear. You feel it.
K9: Do you feel fear now?
JORJIE: We’re having fun with you. It takes our mind off of fear.
STARKEY: First rule: if you fight it, you give it strength.
K9: So, what do you do?
STARKEY: Well, you just have to keep on telling yourself it’s not real.
K9: May I offer some advice? Your big mistake is feelings. If you stuck to logic, you could avoid all these problems.
STARKEY: Feelings have a use.
K9: I’m listening.
STARKEY: Sometimes you can see more by feeling than by thinking.
K9: Oh, young master. That’s impossible.
STARKEY: Feelings can give you a sixth sense.
K9: Really?
JORJIE: Why don’t you let yourself feel? Try it. You might like it.

(Starkey leaves, using his hand to give the impression that he is being pulled around the doorway involuntarily.)

K9: After reviewing the information, my conclusion is that feelings are a systems error.

[Yard]

(June scans the wardrobe with a device whilst Drake watches. They are accompanied by two CCPCs.)

JUNE: All right, I’ve seen enough. Absolutely nothing. Go back to base.

(The CCPCs leave.)

DRAKE: They should remain here on guard in case the alien…
JUNE: There is no alien.

(Drake uses his cane to stop the CCPCs from leaving.)

DRAKE: If there is no alien incursion, the case becomes mine.
JUNE: There is no human threat either.
DRAKE: Oh, really? Then why did someone divert our CCPCs, breach a Department cordon and force entry into an unauthorised place?
JUNE: I really think you should take stress leave. You’re working too hard.
DRAKE: This morning, I discovered a nest of sewer rats in here. Darius, Starkey and your daughter.

(June leaves.)

[The laboratory]

(Gryffen has opened K9 up.)

K9: Is there an emotion program you can retrofit?
GRYFFEN: An emotion program? K9, that would override your binary protocols.
K9: Is that the only way?
GRYFFEN: Well, in machine thinking there are only two options: zero or one. With emotions there are a different setting. It’s neither one nor the other.
K9: But, but, but… If there is a setting between 0 and 1, how could you possibly know what to do?
GRYFFEN: Unfortunately, most of the time we don’t know what to do with our feelings.
K9: Then, can you close me up again, please?

[Yard]

(Starkey goes to the wardrobe and opens it.)

STARKEY: It’s your own fear that makes you see the hole.

(The two CCPCs emerge from behind the wardrobe.)

CCPC: Hello, sunshine.
CCPC: We’ve got someone who wants to talk to you.

[Cell]

(Starkey is imprisoned and guarded by the CCPCs. They open the door for Drake. Drake enters.)

STARKEY: I thought this had your touch.
DRAKE: Do you think you know me?
STARKEY: Not especially.
DRAKE: Are you afraid of me?
STARKEY: Not especially.
DRAKE: You should be. Nobody can hear you scream down here.
STARKEY: Can they hear you scream?
DRAKE: You saw something you shouldn’t have.
STARKEY: It’s okay to be scared.
DRAKE: How is it that when anything untoward happens, you are not far away? There is an alien incursion and who should happen to be there? Perhaps you were visiting the alien.
STARKEY: There is no alien.
DRAKE: What are you trying to hide?
STARKEY: There’s nothing there.
DRAKE: I heard it.
STARKEY: What you heard is your own fear.
DRAKE: I could force the truth out of you.
STARKEY: It’s all in your imagination.
DRAKE: I’m not afraid. Do you hear me? I fear nothing.
STARKEY: You fear what’s in here. (He touches between Drake’s eyes.) Like all of us.

(Drake walks away.)

DRAKE: Guards. (The CCPCs open the door.) Toss him into the gutter where he belongs.

[The laboratory]

(K9 is with Starkey, Jorjie, Darius and Gryffen.)

K9: So, the pit is there when you feel fear but gone when you’re calm. My synaptical circuits are aching. Can I get some basics straight? Reality is not like choosing a favourite channel. Reality is the channel we’re all on.
GRYFFEN: Well, yes and no.
K9: Professor. Did Newton and Einstein live in vain?
GRYFFEN: K9!
K9: Just answer me this. Is there something in the wardrobe or not?
JORJIE: Depends who you ask.
STARKEY: It doesn’t matter whether it’s in there or not. People believe it is and fear alone could destroy the city.
K9: We have to go down there and prove it isn’t real.
DARIUS: Uh, who’s this “we”, Kemosabe?
K9: I don’t feel fear, so the shadow can’t harm me. But I need someone’s fear to open the hole and you’re the most fearful, Darius.
STARKEY: I can open it.
JORJIE: What are you afraid of?

[Yard]

(Starkey, Jorjie and K9 are heading to the wardrobe.)

K9: You did not answer Jorjie’s question, young master. What are you afraid of?
STARKEY: I’m afraid of losing you, K9.
K9: But I’m only a robot.
STARKEY: No, you’re my K9.
K9: Binary malfunction. Reboot. (His ears whir.) I’m okay, but my binary system is not happy. Let’s boogie.

(They reach the wardrobe. Starkey opens it. They see the pit.)

STARKEY: There it is.
K9: Yes, it is.
JORJIE: You can see it too?
K9: I think so.
STARKEY: Are you sure?
K9: The thought of never seeing you again makes me scared.
STARKEY: You don’t have to go down there, K9.
K9: But I have to, to get to the bottom of this.

(He flies down.)

[Wardrobe]

(K9 descends through the void.)

K9: Nothing so far.
STARKEY: (Over a communicator) Are you still descending?
K9: Affirmative. Pit is very deep.
STARKEY: Keep your eyes peeled.
K9: Peeling eyes now. (He reaches a surface.) I’ve touched down in a sort of cave.

[Yard]

STARKEY: How deep are you?

[Wardrobe]

K9: My sensors say 1500 metres, but…

[Yard]

STARKEY: But what?

[Wardrobe]

K9: My readouts are a little…

[Yard]

STARKEY: K9, say it again. You’re breaking up. K9, can you change channels? (He calls Gryffen.) Gryffen, how’s your reception?

[The main hall]

(Gryffen and Darius are watching on a screen.)

GRYFFEN: No better than yours, Starkey.

[Wardrobe]

(Something rushes past K9.)

[Yard]

STARKEY: K9, can you please advise your status?

[Wardrobe]

K9: Did you see that?

[Yard]

STARKEY: Did we see what?
K9: (Over communicator) There was something behind me.
JORJIE: What are we looking for, K9?

[Wardrobe]

(The creature keeps appearing and disappearing.)

K9: There is something down here with me.

[Yard]

JORJIE: What is it?
K9: (Over communicator) Scanning.
STARKEY: Is it alien?

[Wardrobe]

K9: I’m getting nothing on my sensors.

[Yard]

STARKEY: K9, did you say you were getting no data?

[Wardrobe]

K9: What I am seeing leaves no imprint on my cyber drive.

[Yard]

JORJIE: What do you think it is, K9?
STARKEY: What’s going on?

[Wardrobe]

K9: Can you see that?

[Yard]

STARKEY: It’s just darkness.
JORJIE: There’s nothing there, K9.

[Wardrobe]

(The creature comes into view.)

K9: It’s a Jixen Warrior!

[Yard]

JORJIE: A Jixen?
STARKEY: K9, what you’re seeing isn’t there. It’s your bogeyman.

[Wardrobe]

K9: But I can see it.

[Yard]

STARKEY: What you see is what you’re most afraid of.

[Wardrobe]

K9: I don’t know what to do.
STARKEY: (Over communicator) Don’t fight the fear. That just gives it power. Let it wash through you.
K9: This has never happened before. I have no way of dealing with it.

[Yard]

STARKEY: I’m here with you, K9. We’ll get through this together.

[Wardrobe]

K9: System error, system error, system error, system error, system error.

[Yard]

JORJIE: Starkey.

(Starkey turns around. Drake has arrived with four CCPCs carrying a cylinder.)

DRAKE: Well, well, well. You just can’t take no for an answer, can you?
K9: (Over communicator) Starkey, are you there?
STARKEY: Stand by, K9. What is that?
DRAKE: It’s an alien-buster.
K9: (Over communicator) Starkey, are you there? Starkey, please respond. Things are getting bad down here.

(Drake grabs the vidcom and crushes it.)

DRAKE: Was that K9?
JORJIE: Destroy him now and you’ll never get to exploit his technology.
DRAKE: That’s collateral damage I can live with. Arm the bomb.
STARKEY: No!
CCPC: Yes, sir.

(Starkey tries to get to the bomb but a CCPC grabs him.)

STARKEY: Jorjie! Tell K9 to get out of there!

(Drake grabs her vidcom as well.)

[The main hall]

GRYFFEN: Sound feed has dropped out completely.
DARIUS: Something’s going spiral with his vital signs.
GRYFFEN: I’ve never seen that before. His cybernetic systems are scrambled. His binary logic is malfunctioning. K9, do you read me?
DARIUS: What are you staring at?
GRYFFEN: There’s nothing there, but he’s utterly transfixed.

[Wardrobe]

K9: Starkey! I need help!

[The main hall]

DARIUS: Where are Starkey and Jorjie?

[Wardrobe]

STARKEY: (K9’s memory) You just have to keep on telling yourself it’s not real.
K9: You are not real. You are not real. You are not real. You are not real. I know you are not real.

(K9’s systems show that he can detect no life signs.)

[Yard]

(A CCPC arms the bomb.)

DRAKE: Hurry it up.
CCPC: The bomb is armed, sir.
DRAKE: Prepare to drop.

[Wardrobe]

STARKEY: (K9’s memory) Let it wash through you.

(The Jixen disappears.)

[The main hall]

GRYFFEN: The data crawl is normalising.
DARIUS: He’s on the move again.
GRYFFEN: He’s heading back towards the hole.

[Wardrobe]

(K9 ascends, but stops and looks around.)

STARKEY: (K9’s memory) Sometimes you can see more by feeling than by thinking.
K9: (K9’s memory) Oh, young master. That’s impossible.
STARKEY: (K9’s memory) Feelings can give you a sixth sense.

[Yard]

DRAKE: Release it.

(The CCPCs drop the bomb into the pit.)

[The main hall]

(Starkey and Jorjie burst in through the front door.)

STARKEY: Professor! Tell K9 to get out of there! Drake is going to drop a…

(The earth shakes.)

GRYFFEN: K9!

(The feed on the screen fails.)

[London]

(K9 flies through a pipe and emerges at the Thames.)

K9: Whee! Most exhilarating. I should do that again some time.

(He flies over the city.)

[Yard]

DRAKE: I have destroyed you. You are no more.

(Drake removes the glove from his left hand, which is cybernetic.)

VOICE: I am your shadow. I am your fear. I am with you forever. Despair.
DRAKE: I’ve won! You are no more!

(He punches the wardrobe. It shatters. Lights shine.)

VOICE: Despair. Despair!

(The lights disappear.)

[Dining room]

(Starkey, Jorjie and Gryffen are sat by the fire morosely. Darius is pacing. K9 flies in and lands on the table.)

STARKEY: K9, you’re alive!

(Starkey hugs him.)

GRYFFEN: How did you get out of there?
K9: I knew the bomb was coming.
STARKEY: Knew? How?
K9: I felt it.
GRYFFEN: That’s not logical.
K9: No, it’s not.
JORJIE: Congratulations.
K9: I just wish feelings weren’t so confusing.
JORJIE: That’s what feelings are.
K9: It makes things messy, doesn’t it?
DARIUS: Yeah, well, it kind of goes with the territory.
K9: Yes, the binary system is so comforting.
STARKEY: But not as much fun.
JORJIE: That’s what being a human is. Fun and mess.
K9: Oh, dear.
JORJIE: Welcome to our nightmare. Group hug.

(They all hug.)

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.