Enemy of the Bane

Part One

[Bloomin' Lovely]

(Gita is working in her shop whilst talking on the telephone.)

GITA: I'm sorry, I know it's late, but this is a really special order. This woman turns up out of the blue. Her florist has let her down big time and she's got this important do tomorrow. And money, she says, is no object. So I tell her, if you're asking me to work Saturday night to dig you out of the fertiliser, it better not be.

[Chandra home]

RANI: I could come over and help. Dad's cooking one of his specials. I could bring some over for you.
GITA [OC]: Oh, thank you, darling

[Bloomin' Lovely]

GITA: But I think I've got everything I need. (chocolate biscuits) And you know me, if somebody's here, I'll be rabbiting instead of working.

[Chandra home]

GITA [OC]: And believe me, my darling, tonight, rabbits and flowers do not go.
HARESH: I'll keep some on a low heat.
GITA [OC]: There's somebody at the door. Oh, I hope it's not the client, I'm nowhere near done. I'll see you later. Love you. Don't wait up.
RANI: She says not to wait up. Mmm.

[Bloomin' Lovely]

GITA: Oh, sorry. I haven't quite finished yet. You're very welcome to take a seat. Cup of tea?
WORMWOOD: That won't be necessary. I think this is as we agreed.

(Mrs Wormwood hands Gita a cheque.)

GITA: Oh. Oh, yes. What an unusual name.
WORMWOOD: Wormwood. Mrs Wormwood.

(Mrs Wormwood activates her ultrasonic ring. Gita cries out in pain, then collapses.)

WORMWOOD: Sleep well.

(She takes her cheque from Gita's fingers.)

[Luke's room]

(Luke is having a nightmare about his origins. See Invasion of the Bane for details.)

WORMWOOD: The time of man is over.

(He wakes up, sweating.)

WORMWOOD: Hello, Luke.

(Luke turns on the light, and she has vanished.)

[Kitchen]

SARAH JANE: It was a nightmare, that's all.
LUKE: But it seemed so real. She spoke to me. She said, hello, Luke.
SARAH JANE: But I didn't name you Luke until after the Bane were destroyed, Mrs Wormwood along with them. It was just a dream.
LUKE: But I don't dream. I never have.

(A knock on the door.)

[Front door]

SARAH JANE: Rani.
RANI: My mum. She's disappeared.

[Chandra home]

HARESH: Thank you for coming over, but I don't know what you can do.
SARAH JANE: What have the police said?
HARESH: Has anything like this ever happened before? Is she on medication? Did we have a row?
RANI: Mum wouldn't just leave the shop. She didn't even take her van.
LUKE: Why was she there so late?
RANI: She had a rush order.
SARAH JANE: And there were no signs of a struggle at the shop?
HARESH: There were flowers all over the floor.

[Outside the Chandra home]

SARAH JANE: I wish I could save you and your father all this worry. All I know is that people do disappear all the time, and then come back safe and sound.
RANI: We know the world isn't as safe as that.
LUKE: You mean you think she was taken by aliens?
SARAH JANE: There's no reason to suppose anything that.
RANI: What about what happened with Mister Trueman? She walked off then.
SARAH JANE: Rani, there's really no evidence
RANI: You could use Mister Smith, couldn't you? He could look for Mum or something.
SARAH JANE: I'll do what I can. But first, I'd like to take a look at the shop.

[Bloomin' Lovely]

CLYDE: I got the message. Gita's disappeared? Rani must be going off her head. Is it aliens?
SARAH JANE: Well, if there has been an alien here in the last twenty four hours, it will have left an energy trace.

(She scans.)

SARAH JANE: Oh, no.
LUKE: Aliens?
SARAH JANE: Yes, but the trace is too weak to identify the species.

(Luke has found the cheque.)

LUKE: It's the Bane.
CLYDE: What? The shape-shifty squiddy things that made you?
SARAH JANE: How could you know that?
LUKE: Mrs Wormwood.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, I need you.
MR SMITH: Yes, Sarah Jane? You appear to be in something of a hurry.
SARAH JANE: Rani's mother has been kidnapped by the Bane. And I think Mrs Wormwood left this for me to find.
MR SMITH: An intentional clue?
CLYDE: Or maybe it's a red herring.
MR SMITH: The Bane are not usually the perpetrators of intrigue. Their purpose in visiting a planet is rather more fundamental. To feed.
SARAH JANE: That's what worries me. Mrs Wormwood has set this up to get my attention. I'm betting there's some sort of clue on that cheque.
MR SMITH: The cheque is for the Mercian Bank, but the sort code and account digits are not what they purport to be.
LUKE: So, what are they?
MR SMITH: They form a tetric-bi-axial numeric code. Deciphering now.

(Block-3 Lexington-road Industrial-estate.)

CLYDE: It's an address.
SARAH JANE: It's an invitation.
RANI: So, what are we waiting for? Let's get my mum.
SARAH JANE: How long have you been there?
RANI: Long enough.
SARAH JANE: I'm going alone. If Mrs Wormwood has gone to this trouble, it won't just be for my company. She could be after you, Luke, and she's not going to have you.
LUKE: I can look after myself.
SARAH JANE: All the same, you're staying here. And I want you to make sure that he does.
CLYDE: Yeah, sure.
RANI: No, this is my mum. No way are you leaving me behind.
SARAH JANE: All right, but this is dangerous. You do exactly as I say.

[Industrial estate]

SARAH JANE: The Bane are a cephalopod race, who use shape-shifting technologies to infiltrate planets. Mrs Wormwood led their invasion plans last time, but she and the other Bane served the Bane Mother. They made this drink, Bubble Shock. Sold it right across the country.
RANI: I remember that. It was foul.
SARAH JANE: Then you were one of the two percent unaffected. You were the reason they made Luke. Mrs Wormwood needed to refine the formula, so she took samples from thousands of people and created the perfect human being, Luke.
RANI: Looks like you're right. She's expecting us.

[Block 3]

SARAH JANE: Stay close behind me.

(Gita is standing still in the middle of the rubble of the unused unit.)

RANI: Mum! Mum. Mum, it's me. It's Rani.
SARAH JANE: No, I think she's all right. It's just some sort of induced trance.
WORMWOOD: I thought it would be better this way. Fewer witnesses.
SARAH JANE: Mrs Wormwood. Still hiding out in factory units, I see.
WORMWOOD: Sarah Jane Smith. Still involving children in your dangerous games.
RANI: You kidnapped my mum.
WORMWOOD: Hello, Rani.
RANI: How do you know my name?
WORMWOOD: Oh, I've been watching you. You're taller than your predecessor. How does she like America? I always said we should have launched Bubble Shock there. More cosmopolitan taste buds.
SARAH JANE: What do you want?
WORMWOOD: I want your help.
SARAH JANE: I beg your pardon?
WORMWOOD: Believe me, I take no pleasure in this, Miss Smith.
RANI: You're asking for help?. After you kidnap my mum and put her in a trance? You've got a funny way of saying please on your planet.
WORMWOOD: I didn't imagine that simply knocking on your door was an option. Oh, how is the Archetype, by the way?
SARAH JANE: His name is Luke, and you stay away from him.
WORMWOOD: Oh, I have no interest in the boy. He was merely an experiment. A failed experiment, thanks to you.
SARAH JANE: Well, now he is my son, and I will protect him with my life.
WORMWOOD: Then you have no option but to help me.
SARAH JANE: Is that some sort of threat?
WORMWOOD: Your entire planet is under threat, Miss Smith. The entire galaxy.
RANI: Sarah Jane, there's something here.
SARAH JANE: It's a trap!
WORMWOOD: Oh, no. It's me they're after.

(Four bald men enter.)

RANI: They've got us trapped. Who are they?
WORMWOOD: I'm warning you.
MAN: You are an enemy of the Bane Kindred. Surrender or be devoured.
SARAH JANE: Bane! They're Bane.
WORMWOOD: I never surrender.

(He transforms into a Bane, and Mrs Wormwood zaps him with her ring. Then the others get the same. They collapse.)

WORMWOOD: They're only stunned. Run! (Mrs Wormwood leads the way, tottering in high heels. Rani brings Gita and Sarah Jane is in the rear. The Bane recovers and grabs her ankle with a tentacle.)
SARAH JANE: Let go of me!
RANI: Sarah Jane!
SARAH JANE: Rani, help me! It's got my leg!
RANI: You have to save her.
WORMWOOD: Oh, I do so loathe amateurs.

(Mrs Wormwood goes back inside, picks up a piece of twisted aluminium and hits the tentacle. It releases Sarah Jane. Mrs Wormwood offers to help Sarah Jane up.)

SARAH JANE: I'm not past my sell-by date yet.

[Industrial estate]

WORMWOOD: Shut the doors.

(Sarah Jane sonicks them locked. Rani gets Gita to the car.)

SARAH JANE: I don't understand. Why are the Bane after you?
WORMWOOD: My mission on Earth was a failure. You killed the Bane Mother, but I bore the blame, for which I was cast out from the Bane Kindred.
SARAH JANE: And that's why they're hunting you?
WORMWOOD: No. I am hunted because I want to stop them taking over the galaxy.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

WORMWOOD: Will Luke be in?
RANI: Never mind Luke, what about Mum?
WORMWOOD: Wakey, wakey.

(Mrs Wormwood slaps Gita, who wakes up.)

GITA: Oh! What's going on?
RANI: Mum. You're all right.
GITA: What am I doing here?
SARAH JANE: You went sleep-walking, Gita.
GITA: Come off it.
RANI: Dad's been really worried.
SARAH JANE: You'd better get her home.
GITA: Haven't you been in my shop?
WORMWOOD: No. I despise flowers.

[Hallway]

LUKE: Mum's back.

[Front door]

WORMWOOD: Hello, Luke.
LUKE: Mum? What's she doing here?
SARAH JANE: Mrs Wormwood wants our help.
CLYDE: That's Mrs Wormwood? I thought you said she was an ugly bug-eyed squid thing.
WORMWOOD: Children. They have no respect.

[Attic]

WORMWOOD: So this is from where you save the world? How comfortingly unsophisticated.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, I need you.
WORMWOOD: And there's a computer in the wall. I had no idea that you could be so entertaining.
MR SMITH: Good afternoon, Sarah Jane. I see that we have a visitor.
SARAH JANE: Mrs Wormwood is Bane.
MR SMITH: So my bio-analysis tells me.
CLYDE: How much make-up does it take before you get out in a morning?
MR SMITH: Is it wise to have Bane in the attic?
SARAH JANE: Watch her closely, Mister Smith. At the first sign of trouble, you are to put her in a containment vortex. Do you understand?
MR SMITH: Perfectly.
RANI: Dad's looking after Mum. Did I miss anything?
CLYDE: Luke's family aren't exactly lookers.
LUKE: She's not my family.
SARAH JANE: No, Clyde. She isn't.
CLYDE: Sorry.
SARAH JANE: And now it's about time you told us exactly what's going on.
WORMWOOD: The Bane Kindred blamed me for the failure of our Earth invasion. And for the death of the Bane Mother. Do you know what Bane do to their kind who fail them?
SARAH JANE: I'm not sure that I want to.
WORMWOOD: They eat them. Alive.
LUKE: But you escaped, obviously.
WORMWOOD: I made you rather handsome, didn't I? For a human. And there can't be anyone at your school to match your intelligence.
SARAH JANE: Just get to the point.
WORMWOOD: Have you ever heard the legend of Horath, of the Dark Empire?
SARAH JANE: No. Mister Smith?
MR SMITH: The Dark Empire was a period of tyrannical galactic rule by a mysterious and reportedly immortal alien entity called Horath, who crushed the civilisations of all but the most primitive planets.
WORMWOOD: Your hole in the wall machine really is very impressive. Horath was defeated, but couldn't be killed, so his body and his consciousness were divided and they were hidden at opposite ends of the galaxy.
SARAH JANE: Are you saying that the Bane have found Horath?
WORMWOOD: His consciousness, in the Kaldeann Cluster. They have a mercenary agent bringing it to Earth.
CLYDE: And, don't tell me, this is where they hid the other half, right?
WORMWOOD: Three thousand years ago, there was nowhere more primitive than Earth. Little has changed.
RANI: So the Bane get hold of this and they can take it over the galaxy. And stopping them is your way of getting your own back?
WORMWOOD: We Bane have a saying, the sweetest delicacy is the tongue of an enemy that has looked at you and licked their lips.
CLYDE: I am now officially a vegetarian.
SARAH JANE: So where is Horath's body?
WORMWOOD: If I knew, would I shackle myself with the tedium of asking you for help?
LUKE: But the Bane know.
WORMWOOD: Of course.
SARAH JANE: So how do we find Horath?
MR SMITH: Sarah Jane, there is a relic. The Tunguska scroll that tells the story of Horath and his final resting place.
RANI: So where is it?
MR SMITH: The Black Archive.
CLYDE: Why does that sound so cool and so scary at the same time?
SARAH JANE: The Archive is the repository of everything on Earth that shouldn't exist but does. The UNIT vaults.
WORMWOOD: That, Miss Smith, is why I need you.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith, contain Mrs Wormwood.
MR SMITH: Instantly.
WORMWOOD: What treachery is this?
SARAH JANE: Don't worry. You'll be perfectly safe while I'm gone.
WORMWOOD: How can you know that? The Bane have agents everywhere.

(Sarah Jane and the children leave as Mrs Wormwood tests out the size of the containment field.)

WORMWOOD: Argh.

[Hallway]

CLYDE: So is this it? The day Clyde Langer finally hooks up with UNIT? Locked and loaded, ready to fight the scum of the universe.
SARAH JANE: Haven't I taught you there are better ways of dealing with aliens than guns?
RANI: What do you expect? He's a boy.
SARAH JANE: UNIT have their uses, but in my experience, guns never solved a problem they didn't first make worse. And UNIT can be so suspicious.
RANI: They're not the only ones. Can we really trust Mrs Wormwood?
SARAH JANE: I don't know. And if I tell UNIT about Mrs Wormwood, they could start asking other questions.
LUKE: About me?
SARAH JANE: Questions it would be difficult to answer without them getting more suspicious. Oh, Luke, you have to stay here, but keep away from Mrs Wormwood. LUKE: Yes. Of course.
SARAH JANE: And Clyde, stay with him. Keep an eye on things. Please, keep him safe.
CLYDE: No problem.
SARAH JANE: Right, come on, Rani. I need to see a friend. A very old friend.

[Room]

(A wood panelled place with coats of arms in the window panes, and a pair of knights on horseback. A white haired gentleman is leaning on a walking stick at the far end of a long oak table, looking out of the window, when an Army officer enters.)

KILBURNE: Brigadier, sir.
BRIGADIER: Major Kilburne. What a surprise.
KILBURNE: Your wife let me in.
BRIGADIER: Oh, yes. What can I do for you?
KILBURNE: I'm here to debrief you, sir. On your mission in Peru.
BRIGADIER: On my what? Good God, man, I'm retired. I don't do missions any more, and I certainly don't do debriefings.
KILBURNE: I'm sorry, Sir Alistair, but you do remain UNIT's special envoy.
BRIGADIER: Yes, which allows you to dust me down once in a while before sending me off on some fool's errand to Peru.
KILBURNE: I'm sorry, sir, but the Homeworld Security Mandate dictates
BRIGADIER: Homeworld Security. That's the trouble with UNIT these days. Too many buzzwords, too many directives. At least in my day we maintained the benefits of common sense.
KILBURNE: With respect, Sir Alistair, UNIT has had to adapt to the challenges of a more hostile universe.
BRIGADIER: In my day, we took on Daleks, Cybermen, Autons, Zygons and all manner of space-thuggery, and it doesn't get more hostile than that.

(Sarah Jane and Rani enter.)

SARAH JANE: No, Brigadier, you're so right. It doesn't.
BRIGADIER: Sarah Jane Smith.
SARAH JANE: Hello, Sir Alastair. It's been a long time.
BRIGADIER: Oh, it has, it has.

(They embrace.)

KILBURNE: Major Kilburne, Miss Smith. It's an honour to meet you. I've read most of your files. Some are still level one security restricted. I'm only level two.
SARAH JANE: My files have a higher security rating than I ever did.
BRIGADIER: I think we're finished here, Major.
KILBURNE: Yes, sir. Good day, Sir Alistair. Miss Smith.

(Major Kilburne salutes and leaves.)

SARAH JANE: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I'm afraid this isn't a social call.
BRIGADIER: I would almost be disappointed if it were. How can I help you?
SARAH JANE: I need to break into the Black Archive.
BRIGADIER: Oh.

[Kitchen]

CLYDE: I've met some pretty nasty characters since I hooked up with Sarah Jane. But as far as I'm concerned, none of them can hold a candle to my old man for what he did to me and my mum. But at the same time, he was my dad. Without him, I wouldn't even be here.
LUKE: That's what I'm thinking. About Mrs Wormwood. I want to see her.
CLYDE: Sarah Jane told you to keep away. And, I don't know, it's not like she wanted a kid, is it? The Bane wanted to take over the world and eat us. Believe me, that's something most families don't want to talk about.
LUKE: I'm going. Please.

[Attic]

WORMWOOD: Luke. I see you haven't abandoned me. Thank you.
LUKE: I want to ask you some questions.
WORMWOOD: Of course. Release me and we can talk.
LUKE: I'm not going to release you.
WORMWOOD: I won't harm you. I created you. It must have been very difficult for you, Luke, being born into this strange world, knowing so much and yet nothing at all.
LUKE: I was born running. Sarah Jane gave me a name.
SARAH JANE [memory]: I like Luke.
LUKE [memory]: I like Luke.
LUKE: She made me into a person.
WORMWOOD: From the raw material I provided. How does it feel to be so special?
LUKE: It isn't always easy.
WORMWOOD: Is that why you wanted to talk? Do you hate me for giving you life?
LUKE: I enjoy my life. But this world is complicated, however clever you are.
WORMWOOD: And sometimes, you feel so isolated. You are quite unique throughout the entire universe. Alone in its darkness, without blood kin. Just as I am.

[Car]

(The Brigadier stops his Bentley so Sarah Jane and Rani can look at the squat dark building.)

RANI: So that's the Black Archive facility?
BRIGADIER: Yes, and no one's allowed anywhere near there without level one clearance.
SARAH JANE: But they won't look twice if you drive up.
BRIGADIER: All the same, if they were to catch you in there, it won't go well.
SARAH JANE: There's no other way. I won't risk UNIT taking an interest in Luke. As far men like Major Kilburne are concerned, he isn't human. That means he's a threat.
RANI: And the Bane's agent is already on his way. We have to get the scroll, find Horath and stop them bringing him back to life.
BRIGADIER: Better get in the back, and get down.

[Main gate]

(The guard just looks at Brigadier Sir Alastair Lethbridge Stewart's ID card, and takes no notice of the bundle under the travelling rug.)

GUARD: Thank you, sir.
BRIGADIER: Thank you.
GUARD: Pass through, sir.

[Outside the buildings]

BRIGADIER: We're here. Stay put while I check the coast is clear.

(He gets out of the car.)

KILBURNE: Brigadier, what are you doing here?
BRIGADIER: Major Kilburne, this must be my lucky day.
KILBURNE: Sir, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong foot earlier. I fully understand the debt the world owes to you and the men of UNIT in the past.
BRIGADIER: That's very gracious of you, Major.
KILBURNE: Perhaps we could go for dinner some time, sir. I'd be fascinated to hear some of your stories about the old days.
BRIGADIER: Yes, of course.
KILBURNE: I look forward to it.

(He walks on, then turns back.)

KILBURNE: By the way. You didn't say, sir. What are you doing at the archive?
BRIGADIER: My memoirs, Major. Now that the cat's out of the bag about aliens, it seems as good a time as any to tell a few of those stories about the old days.
KILBURNE: I see. Just don't give away our secrets, will you, sir?

(Major Kilburne walks away, and the Brigadier opens the back door.)

BRIGADIER: Come on, quickly. In there. Now, this will get you into the archive. You'll move faster without me. I'll keep watch out here.

(He gives Sarah Jane his pass.)

SARAH JANE: Come on, Rani. Thank you.

[Archive]

(Warehouse 13 for Whovians.)

RANI: It's huge!
SARAH JANE: Shush. The most extensive collection of alien artefacts anywhere on Earth.
RANI: You mean the authorities have known about aliens all this time? So since Roswell, all they've been doing is lying to us?
SARAH JANE: Oh, Roswell was nothing. Queen Victoria knew about aliens.
RANI: I bet she wasn't amused.

(Sarah Jane searches the database for the scroll.)

SARAH JANE: No, I don't believe she was. Got it. Tunguska Scroll, Section E 4 6. Come on.

[Security room]

(Two UNIT paratroopers are watching small CCTV screens.)

KILBURNE: All quiet?
TROOPER: Sir.

(Kilburne apparently uses a shiny curved surface to check for nose hairs.)

[Archive annex]

(The Brigadier's pass lets Sarah Jane and Rani into the small storeroom.)

SARAH JANE: This is it.

(Sarah Jane sonicks open safe E46 and takes out the heavy alien scroll. A camera watches them.)

RANI: It's beautiful.

[Front door]

(Clyde answers the doorbell to see a woman with a charity collecting box.)

CLYDE: Sorry, this isn't a good time.

(She transforms into a Bane. Clyde slams the door shut.)

CLYDE: Luke! Luke! It's attack of the one-eyed squiddy things!

[Attic]

CLYDE [OC]: Luke!
LUKE: Something's happened.
WORMWOOD: They've found me. They will eat me alive. You have to help me, Luke. I am your mother.

[Security room]

TROOPER: We've got a security breach.
KILBURNE: Show me the pictures, now.

[Archive annex]

SARAH JANE: Quick, we have to get out.

[Outside the buildings]

KILBURNE: Gate, we have a security breach.

[Front door]

(Luke and Mrs Wormwood come down the stairs.)

CLYDE: I can't hold it for much longer.
WORMWOOD: We have to escape. The back way.
CLYDE: What's she doing out?
LUKE: We couldn't leave her. They'd kill her.
CLYDE: Okay, on three, run for it. One

(A tentacle smashes the skylight.)

CLYDE: Forget it, just run.

[Garden]

(The Bane leaps onto the lawn.)

CLYDE: This is not good. Let's go back.
WORMWOOD: My sonic disruptor isn't working. The containment vortex must have drained its power.

(More Bane trap Clyde and Luke on the driveway.)

[Outside the buildings]

(Sarah Jane and Rani rejoin the Brigadier.)

KILBURNE: Brigadier. Stay where you are, sir.

(Kilburne points his service revolver at the Brigadier.)

BRIGADIER: Stand down, Major Kilburne. That's an order.
KILBURNE: You're retired, Sir Alistair. Have you forgotten? Hands on your heads, all of you!
BRIGADIER: Major.
SARAH JANE: Do as he says, Brigadier.
KILBURNE: I have the situation secure.

(Sarah Jane zaps the soldiers with her sonic lipstick.)

KILBURNE: Argh.
SARAH JANE: I've sonicked their earpieces.

(The Brigadier drives them away as the main gate is closing.)

BRIGADIER: Hold on.
KILBURNE: Stop that car!

(The Brigadier powers the Bentley through the gap and away.)

[Garden]

WORMWOOD: At least I'll have the satisfaction of giving you food poisoning.

(The Bane vanishes, to reveal a scarred Sontaran with a smoking gun.)

WORMWOOD: Kaagh. Such perfect timing. Do you have it? The consciousness of Horath?
KAAGH: I have it hidden, but it's safe.
WORMWOOD: Then soon Sarah Jane Smith shall lead us to Horath, and make us emperors of the galaxy. And she will crawl before me as we crush her world. Oh, the sweetness of revenge.

Part Two

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

CLYDE: Typical. I turn vegetarian, and now I'm Bane munchies.
LUKE: What happened to Mrs Wormwood?
CLYDE: Don't know. Could be one of these, for all I can tell.

(He grabs the garden hose.)

CLYDE: Tap. Come on.
LUKE: Go.
CLYDE: Nothing eats Clyde Langer without a fight.

(Clyde squirts water at the Bane. Mrs Wormwood and Kaagh look around the corner of the house.)

KAAGH: Your kindred have the half-forms trapped.
WORMWOOD: They're not my kindred, Kaagh. Not any more. I'm like you, an outcast with no family.
KAAGH: Then they will feast on the Smith woman's boy and his friend.
WORMWOOD: No. Not today. Kaagh, my phonic disruptor needs an energy boost.

(Kaagh's bracer provides the energy. A Bane knocks the hose out of Clyde's hand.)

CLYDE: I think they're done playing with their food.
WORMWOOD: Bane Kindred. Humans are off the menu.

(Her phonic disrupter makes the Bane go splat, all over Clyde and Luke.)

CLYDE: Urgh. Nice one, Mrs W.

(Sarah Jane drives up.)

SARAH JANE: Luke! I told you to stay away from her.
LUKE: She saved our lives.
CLYDE: It's true. We were Bane bait, then Mrs W fixed them with her ring thing.
WORMWOOD: Saving human lives is becoming a bit of a habit with me, Miss Smith. I do hope we can conclude our business together before I am scarred for life. Do you have the scroll?
SARAH JANE: Yes, we've got it.
WORMWOOD: Then give it to me.
SARAH JANE: Somehow, I don't think this is the right time.
RANI: It wasn't exactly a stealth operation. Half of UNIT is probably headed this way right now.
BRIGADIER: Miss Chandra's right. We should be on our way.
WORMWOOD: And, er, who are you?
BRIGADIER: Brigadier Sir Alistair Gordon Lethbridge Stewart, madam, at your service.
RANI: Ahem. I know the last place UNIT'll look for us. Let's go.

(Kaagh looks around the corner of the house to watch them leave.)

[Bloomin' Lovely]

CLYDE: Hiding out in a flower shop?
SARAH JANE: I think it's an excellent idea. Rani's right, it's the last place UNIT will look.
RANI: Tea. Come on, Mum's got a kettle out the back.

(Rani and Clyde leave.)

WORMWOOD: So, now may I see the scroll?
SARAH JANE: I should thank you for saving Luke and Clyde.
WORMWOOD: Oh, there's no need. I am an outcast from the Bane Kindred. Their only interest in me now is one of digestion. I take the deepest satisfaction in ensuring they go hungry.
SARAH JANE: Don't you have any children of your own?
what would you call them, spawn?
WORMWOOD: No. I am alone. Completely.
SARAH JANE: I was alone. For a long, long time, until I met Luke.
WORMWOOD: Then perhaps you should be indebted to me, for enriching your sad, purposeless life.
SARAH JANE: Don't push it, Wormwood.
WORMWOOD: Just give me the scroll.
SARAH JANE: First, tell me exactly how you were able to save Luke and Clyde. Mister Smith's containment vortex is designed to draw the energy from any weapon confined within it.
WORMWOOD: How very ingenious, and how unfortunate.

(The two women point ring and lipstick at each other.)

SARAH JANE: Not another inch, Mrs Wormwood.
WORMWOOD: The battle of the costume jewellery counter. How very female. Perhaps what we need here is a more masculine influence. Kaagh!

(Kaagh enters from the back, pushing Rani and Clyde in front of his very big gun.)

RANI: Get off!
SARAH JANE: Kaagh!
KAAGH: A Sontaran always keeps an oath of vengeance.
BRIGADIER: You alien chaps never get the message, do you?

(Kaagh stamps on Sarah Jane's lipstick.)

RANI: The sonic lipstick. No!
SARAH JANE: You will regret doing that, Kaagh.
KAAGH: You shall regret robbing me of the honour of Sontar, for all eternity.
WORMWOOD: Kaagh and I both have a score to settle, Miss Smith. Our vengeance will span a galaxy.
SARAH JANE: Kaagh has the Consciousness of Horath. He is the Bane's agent. And you're both double-crossing them.
KAAGH: I could never return to Sontar. What sort of soldier is beaten by a female and half-forms? I was reduced to working as a mercenary for the Bane.
WORMWOOD: Kaagh was carrying the Consciousness of Horath for the Bane when he recognised me on a planet in the Snake Tongue Nebula. The Bane had put a high price on my head. But I encouraged Kaagh to see the bigger picture. A much bigger picture. So, give me the scroll.
RANI: Don't do it, Sarah Jane.
WORMWOOD: Oh, I suggest you do. Or Kaagh will disintegrate your friends one at a time.

(Sarah Jane gets the scroll out of her bag.)

SARAH JANE: You're mad. It will destroy you. It will destroy everything.
WORMWOOD: Oh, really, Miss Smith. You're so negative. Power has such beauty, hasn't it, Kaagh?
KAAGH: Power is the most beautiful thing in the universe. Shall I destroy them now?

(Luke steps in front of Kaagh's gun.)

LUKE: No! Leave them alone, Mrs Wormwood. My mum's given you what you wanted, now get out.
WORMWOOD: Such a brave boy. So much more than a boy.
SARAH JANE: Keep away from him.
WORMWOOD: Luke, I will spare your friends, if you will come with me.
SARAH JANE: No. He's going nowhere with you. He is my son.
WORMWOOD: And I gave him the intelligence to make his own choices. Well, Luke?
RANI: No, Luke.
WORMWOOD: Very well. Then you all die. Kaagh?
LUKE: I'll come with you. But you don't hurt anyone. You have to promise.
SARAH JANE: No, Luke.
WORMWOOD: I promise you, Sarah Jane Smith, that as long as you can resist that infuriating tendency to meddle, Luke will be safe. Take him away, Kaagh.
SARAH JANE: Luke. I love you.
LUKE: And I love you.
SARAH JANE: We are not finished, Mrs Wormwood.
WORMWOOD: Oh, I think we are, Miss Smith.

(Mrs Wormwood activates her ring and knocks them all out.)

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

(Gita is knocking on the front door when the garden gate creaks.)

GITA: Sarah? Is that you, Sarah?

(She goes around and reaches for the handle. It is opened by an Army major.)

[Chandra home]

HARESH: I didn't realise Sarah Jane had a nephew. I didn't think she had any relatives at all, to be honest.
KILBURNE: We're not a close family.
GITA: Well, you shouldn't have to wait long. Sarah's always very busy with her newspaper stories. She's teaching my daughter. Oh, that's Rani, very bright, all the tricks of the trade. Ooo, I could call her, if you like. Tell Sarah you're here.
KILBURNE: No, it's okay. When Aunt Sarah Jane gets home, I'd like it to be a surprise.
HARESH: Of course. We understand.

[Industrial estate]

(Mrs Wormwood is driving the Brigadier's Bentley.)

KAAGH: Out, half-form.
WORMWOOD: Be careful, Kaagh. This isn't a bout of Sontaran quicksand wrestling. He is a boy. They break, or so I understand.
KAAGH: I will make sure the perimeter is secure.
LUKE: Where are we?
WORMWOOD: Some squalid wasteland, rancid with the stench of stagnant oil and rotting fast-food wrappers. Typical of this depressing planet you call home.
LUKE: I like Earth.
WORMWOOD: Your development has been stunted by a lack of spectacular horizons. What sort of a mother has Sarah Jane Smith been? The boy I made was more than this.
LUKE: You didn't make me. You just grew me from synthesised DNA. Living here has made me what I am. I'm like Kaagh, bred for one purpose. But life has changed him. He's supposed to serve the Sontaran Empire. Instead, he serves you.
KAAGH: No Sontaran would serve a woman. I should blast you into atoms for such an insult.
WORMWOOD: Don't you see, the boy engages in mind games? He's clever.
LUKE: I won't do anything for you.
KAAGH: You already have. You are our hostage. Sarah Jane Smith won't move against us while we have you.
WORMWOOD: Too much talk, Kaagh. Get me what we came for.
KAAGH: This way.

[Empty unit]

LUKE: Kaagh's space pod.
WORMWOOD: Soon I will look upon a galaxy crushed to stardust beneath my feet. I want Sarah Jane Smith to know she gave it to me. And that she gave you to me. Such shall be my vengeance.
LUKE: Why is revenge so important?
KAAGH: Humans, the runts of the galaxy. No wonder half the species from here to the Vylixik Spiral Cluster have plans to invade you. You have no guts.
LUKE: My mum does. That's why she defeated you before. Both of you. And she will this time.
WORMWOOD: She will have to find us to do that. And to our destination there is only one guide. Kaagh?

(Kaagh places a glowing crystal from his pod inside the scroll.)

WORMWOOD: The Eye of Horath begins to open, and the galaxy shall tremble.

[Bloomin' Lovely]

(Rani recovers first.)

RANI: Sarah Jane. Sarah Jane, wake up.
SARAH JANE: How long have I been unconscious? Luke.
CLYDE: We have to get him back.
BRIGADIER: And the Tunguska Scroll.
SARAH JANE: She thinks kidnapping Luke will stop me going after her. If Mrs Wormwood thinks that, she really doesn't understand motherhood.

[Empty unit]

LUKE: The scroll's a receiver, isn't it? It's searching for a homing signal from Horath. It's not so much a map as a Sat Nav.
WORMWOOD: This drab world may have stunted your potential, Luke, but you still remain so very impressive. So intelligent, so perceptive, so intuitive. After three thousand years, the signal is faint. But the scroll will locate it, and then we shall find Horath.
LUKE: Horath was never a living being, was he?
WORMWOOD: Horath is a cybernetic organism.
LUKE: A computer?
WORMWOOD: And so much more. A computer that can command the physical laws of the universe, that can destroy worlds and give birth to them in the blink of an eye. As I gave birth to you. The universe is a cruel place, Luke. It delights at the tricks it plays. How could I ever have imagined that it would come to this, that my only kindred, my only child, would be the most perfect human? I can see why Sarah Jane Smith is so attached to you, my boy.
LUKE: You're not my mother.
WORMWOOD: I gave you life, Luke, and I can give you so much more. There are such wonderful things out in space. Amazing things. Be my prince and you will inherit an entire galaxy. You could wield such power, as my son.
LUKE: What about Kaagh?
WORMWOOD: Kaagh is a foot soldier, bred for war, not to rule. Unlike you. Here, my son.

(She gives Luke the scroll. He runs with it.)

WORMWOOD: Kaagh!
KAAGH: Half-form!

(Luke runs into an office, tries jamming the door, then climbs out of a small window.)

[Industrial estate]

KAAGH: I will fry you alive, half-form.

(Kaagh shoots and misses.)

WORMWOOD: Bring him back to me. Alive.

(Kaagh cuts off Luke.)

KAAGH: You cannot escape. Defiance will be eliminated.

(Luke dodges the shots that ignite a pile of oil barrels.)

WORMWOOD: I said I want him alive. Idiot Sontaran.

(Mrs Wormwood transforms into a Bane. Luke hides behind some barrels, and Kaagh conceals himself on the other side. When Luke comes out, he gets tripped up. Kaagh takes back the scroll.)

KAAGH: The Bane woman has her fancy idea of vengeance. But for what you and your half-form friends did to me, you will taste Sontaran reckoning.

(Mrs Wormwood bounces in between them and turns back into a woman.)

KAAGH: No one comes between a Sontaran warrior and his prize of vengeance.
WORMWOOD: Except you're no longer a Sontaran warrior, are you, Kaagh the Slayer? Kaagh the Shambles, more like.

(She punishes him with her phonic disrupter.)

WORMWOOD: Now, do we understand each other?
KAAGH: Yes. But not the logic in keeping a half-form alive.
WORMWOOD: Of course you wouldn't, Kaagh. You are a clone. You were born in a tub of green goo. You've never created anything, only destroyed. But as long as the Bane hunt for me, I need you.

(She helps Luke to his feet. The scroll hums.)

WORMWOOD: The scroll has re-established contact with Horath. Our journey is almost done. A new age nears.

[Bannerman Road]

RANI: No sign of UNIT.
BRIGADIER: Yeah, they're soldiers, trained to disappear into the background.
SARAH JANE: Mister Smith is our only chance of finding Luke and stopping Mrs Wormwood.
CLYDE: Hang on. UNIT don't know me. I can go in and do a recce, see if the coast is really clear, and they wouldn't suspect a thing. Clyde Langer, superspy.

(So Clyde goes up the driveway, watched by someone hiding behind the garden gate. Then he goes into the garden. Sarah Jane's phone rings.)

SARAH JANE: Clyde?
CLYDE: All clear.
SARAH JANE: Be right there.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

RANI: Where is he?

[Hallway]

(The front door is open. They walk over the broken glass.)

SARAH JANE: This does not look good.
RANI: Clyde?

[Lounge]

(Major Kilburne is holding Clyde, with his hand over his mouth.)

BRIGADIER: Major, what the hell do you think you're doing? Let him go.
KILBURNE: I always follow orders.

(Kilburne pushes Clyde away and draws his gun.)

KILBURNE: I'm afraid all of you are under arrest.
BRIGADIER: Major, I assure you, you are making an earth-shattering mistake.
KILBURNE: Give me the Tunguska Scroll.
SARAH JANE: Major, please listen to me. We are trying to save the galaxy.
KILBURNE: Just give me the scroll!
RANI: We haven't got it anymore.
KILBURNE: What?
SARAH JANE: My son's been kidnapped. I'm trying to save him, can't you understand that?
KILBURNE: My only concern is Homeworld Security.
CLYDE: Yeah, well it looks to me like you're sitting down on the job.

(Clyde kicks a coffee table into Kilburne's knee. That hurts, and he drops his gun. Clyde jumps onto him.)

SARAH JANE: Brilliant, Clyde.
RANI: I'd stay where you are if I were you, Major. He's got worse than that.
BRIGADIER: You do what you have to. I'll keep an eye on the Major.
SARAH JANE: Rani, stay with the Brigadier. Clyde, with me.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: I registered these energy readings from the Tunguska Scroll. I need you to initiate a tracker search across the UK.

(Sarah Jane puts her watch into Mister Smith's scanner.)

[Lounge]

KILBURNE: When I said my only concern was Homeworld Security, I meant my world, not yours.

[Attic]

MR SMITH: Satellite tracking now active.
CLYDE: They could be anywhere, and we've got no idea how much time we've got.
SARAH JANE: Wherever they are, however much time we have, we have one advantage. Luke. Remember that.
MR SMITH: Target acquired. It is apparently mobile, and heading along the A786 towards the village of Whitebarrow.
CLYDE: Whitebarrow? Hang on. We went there on a school trip. It's one of those places like, er, Stonehenge.
SARAH JANE: A neolithic burial site, three thousand years old. That's where Horath is buried.

(She retrieves her watch.)

[Lounge]

RANI: You're Bane?
BRIGADIER: I'm warning you, sir, keep your distance.
KILBURNE: No, Sir Alistair. Remember, I invited you to dinner. And you're it.

(Kilburne transforms.)

BRIGADIER: I warned you.

(The Brigadier's walking stick is also a gun. He shoots Kilburne.)

SARAH JANE: I always suspected that Major Kilburne was a slimy creep. Come on.

[Bannerman Road]

GITA: Well, of course you can borrow my van, Sarah. It's the least I can do. I hope your funny little motor isn't too poorly.
SARAH JANE: Thank you. I appreciate it more than you can ever know.
GITA: Don't be late for tea.
SARAH JANE: Thank you for all your help, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: Oh, my pleasure, Sarah Jane. I'll keep an eye on what's left of the Major until the UNIT chaps take him away. You do what you have to do, and God speed.

[Stone circle]

KAAGH: Move.

(He pushes Luke out of the Bentley. They are on a flat hilltop by a circle of six small standing stones with a much smaller one in the middle.)

WORMWOOD: This is it. The resting place of Horath, the birthplace of a new galactic aeon. The Age of Wormwood.
KAAGH: And Kaagh.
WORMWOOD: If you really want the empire to sound like a firm of solicitors.
KAAGH: No female can rule an empire alone. You need me, Wormwood.

(Kaagh bounces off a forcefield surrounding the stone circle.)

WORMWOOD: It seems you're right. A blundering Sontaran has its uses.

(Mrs Wormwood cannot pass through either.)

LUKE: It's a forcefield. You've come all this way for nothing.
WORMWOOD: Not at all. The force field must be attuned to non-Earth life forms. Those who concealed Horath within its stones would see that humans were no threat. They're too stupid. Only an off-worlder would know what was hidden here, and they would be kept safely at bay. How very clever. Yet, I, Luke, have you.

(Sarah Jane, Rani and Clyde are just three miles away and travelling fast.)

WORMWOOD: Of course. I see it now. It was meant that I should give you life, then lose you to Sarah Jane Smith, that you should remain on Earth awaiting my return. For this moment.
LUKE: You're talking about fate. I don't believe in fate.
WORMWOOD: I made you for this moment, Luke, to enter the circle of stones, and to be my prince.
LUKE: Mum was right. You are mad.
WORMWOOD: Sarah Jane Smith was the wet-nurse. I am your mother. Now do as I say and fulfil your destiny. Bring me Horath.
KAAGH: Like you, half-form, I believe we make our own destiny. But mine lies within that circle. So do as she says.
WORMWOOD: Place the scroll on the altar stone at the heart of the circle.

(Luke enters the circle with the scroll.)

KAAGH: Do it.
WORMWOOD: Do it, my prince.
LUKE: Come quickly, Mum.

(Luke places the scroll in the handy slot in the stone, and energy beams out to each of the six taller stones.)

WORMWOOD: The Age of Wormwood approaches.

[Van]

(The ground shakes. The van screeches to a halt.)

RANI: It's an earthquake.
SARAH JANE: We have to hurry. We may already be too late.

[Stone circle]

WORMWOOD: Luke, see. The scroll is unlocking the Tomb of Horath.
LUKE: It's a portal. Horath was never buried on Earth. This is a doorway to somewhere else. Another dimension, maybe. That's where Horath is.
WORMWOOD: And you have opened that door, Luke. You have earned your place at my side. Rulers of a billion stars. Soon, the most almighty power in the universe will be ours.
KAAGH: What treachery is this, Bane? The half-form has no place in our bargain.
WORMWOOD: Consider our arrangement terminated.

(Kaagh suffers the full power of her phonic disruptor. It doesn't kill him.)

WORMWOOD: Join me, my son.
LUKE: No. You can't control the portal. It's too powerful.
WORMWOOD: Sarah Jane Smith has made you timid, Luke. But I shall make you strong. You shall be a god.
LUKE: I don't want to be a god.
WORMWOOD: It is your fate to sit beside your mother and preside over all creation. You are my prince.
SARAH JANE: Luke!
LUKE: Mum.

(Luke runs to Sarah Jane.)

SARAH JANE: Thank goodness you're all right.
WORMWOOD: Luke.
CLYDE: It never looked like that when we came with the school.

(The ground inside the circle drops away to leave the altar stone handing above a swirling vortex.)

CLYDE: Whoops.
RANI: I bet the National Trust is going to be really pleased about that. A stone circle with a black hole in the middle.
CLYDE: I'd pay to see it.
LUKE: The portal. It's opened.
WORMWOOD: Luke. Come with me, Luke. I will show you things beyond even your imagination.

(Clyde goes to the stricken Kaagh.)

KAAGH: Half-form.
CLYDE: I'm trying to help you. Are you hurt?
WORMWOOD: Come to me, Luke. Come to your mother.
LUKE: No. Sarah Jane is my mother.
SARAH JANE: Do you hear that, Mrs Wormwood? Luke is my son because I have cared for him and looked after him. Because I love him. And you don't understand love. People who understand love don't want to crush planets or take over the universe. Those people aren't people at all. They truly are monsters.
WORMWOOD: You're right, Miss Smith. And it is so much more fun to embrace one's nature.
KAAGH: Get me my gun.
CLYDE: No. I can't.
KAAGH: I have been a disgrace to Sontar. I have betrayed the brotherhood of warriors. Give me this chance of honour.
WORMWOOD: And what more fun could there be than to destroy? With your deaths, the Age of Wormwood shall begin.
KAAGH: Sontar-ha!

(Kaagh runs forward, and he and Mrs Wormwood go into the portal just as she activates her ring.)

SARAH JANE: Get down!

(Boom! When they get up again, the circle is back to normal, with the scroll still in the altar stone.)

RANI: What happened?
SARAH JANE: Mrs Wormwood was about to discharge her ring when Kaagh pushed her into the portal. I think it sort of overloaded the system.
LUKE: Is she dead?
SARAH JANE: I don't know.
CLYDE: Hey, the scroll's still here.

(Sarah Jane takes out her lipstick.)

RANI: You've got another one?
SARAH JANE: Do I look like the kind of girl who only has one lipstick?
LUKE: What are you going to do?
SARAH JANE: What UNIT should have done when they first found it.

(She sonicks it into its constituent quarks.)

SARAH JANE: Now the portal is closed for good. No one will ever find Horath.
RANI: We saved the universe, again.
SARAH JANE: Did we? I told you when we first met, Rani, the universe is an amazing place. It's got so many surprises for us. But one thing I never expected to see was the universe being saved by a Sontaran.
SARAH JANE [OC]: Yet the truly marvellous thing is to share the wonders that the universe brings us, with good, true friends. The people we can rely on, no matter what.

[Outside Sarah Jane's home]

(They wave goodbye to the Brigadier.)

CLYDE: See you.
SARAH JANE [OC]: The people we love.
BRIGADIER: Bye, Sarah Jane.
SARAH JANE [OC]: But the universe hasn't finished with us yet. There will always be some alien species visiting Earth. And why not? It's a wonderful place to be.

[Attic]

SARAH JANE: Just remember who lives here.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

Back to top