(Brian produces a trowel and starts digging in the sand.)

RORY: Did you just have that on you?

BRIAN: Of course. What sort of man doesn't carry a trowel? Put it on your Christmas list.

RORY: Dad, I'm thirty one. I don't have a Christmas list any more.

DOCTOR: I do!

(The doors open to reveal two large armoured creatures backlight by a very bright light.)

BRIAN: Not possible.

DOCTOR: Run!

(The gang run away, except the Doctor.)

AMY: Doctor!

DOCTOR: I know. Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!

(Amy grabs the Doctor and pulls him away from the ankylosaurs.)

RORY: I will take you apart cog by cog and melt you down when all this is over.

ROBOT 1: Oh, I’m ssoooo scared.

(Beat.)

ROBOT 1: ...actually, I might be. A little bit of oil just came out.

RORY: Doesn’t the ship have any defence systems installed?

DOCTOR: [Delighted] Good thinking, Rory!

(The Doctor kisses Rory full on the mouth.)

DOCTOR: Computer, show us weapons and defence systems.

(The computer reads: "No Systems Available".)

DOCTOR: [Very gently slapping Rory half a dozen times on each cheek] Oh, well, that was a waste of time, wasn’t it? Getting my hopes up like that.

(Amy tries a computer keyboard. The lights come on.)

NEFERTITI: How’d you know how to do that?

AMY: Well, I’ve spent enough time with the Doctor to know whenever you enter somewhere new, press buttons.

NEFERTITI: What else have you learned from him?

AMY: Don’t stop at button pressing.

(She inserts a disc into the computer.)

BRIAN: What do I do? What do I do?

(The Triceratops sniffs Brian’s delicate parts.)

BRIAN: What’re you doing? What’re you doing?

DOCTOR: You don’t have any vegetable matter in your trousers, do you, Brian?

BRIAN: Only my balls.

(Rory looks mortified.)

DOCTOR: I’m sorry?!

BRIAN: Golf balls. Grassy residue.

RORY: What are you carrying those around for?

(The Triceratops licks Brian’s face.)

BRIAN: [Frightened] Urgh! Eurgh!!

DOCTOR: Oh, bless.

(A flying dinosaur screeches in the distance.)

BRIAN: Is that a kestrel?

DOCTOR: I do hope so.

(Brian is last out of the TARDIS.)

BRIAN: What the?

DOCTOR: Don’t move! Do you really think I’m that stupid I wouldn’t notice? How did you get aboard, eh? Transmat? Who sent you?

RORY: Doctor. That’s my dad.

DOCTOR: Well frankly, that’s outrageous.

RORY: What?

DOCTOR: You think you can just bring your dad along without asking? I’m not a taxi service, you know.

RORY: You materialised around us.

DOCTOR: Oh. Well, that’s fine, then. My mistake. Hello, Brian. How are you?