Closing Time

[Ladies clothing]

(Evening. The Sanderson & Grainger department store sign and the street lights are flickering in the pedestrian area outside. The last customers are leaving.)

WOMAN: Thank you.
KELLY: Better cash up then. Suppose John Joe can just wait for me.
SHONA: No, I'll do it. You head off.

(The lights flicker again.)

KELLY: When's the council going to fix this? Last night my telly went off in the middle of Top Model.
SHONA: John Joe's waiting. I'll do the changing rooms, too.
KELLY: Oh, thanks, Shona.

[Craig's home]

SOPHIE: There's a list on the fridge.
CRAIG: I saw it.
SOPHIE: And I've labelled the food and sort of numbered it.
CRAIG: Sophie, you don't need to number food.
SOPHIE: It's just a suggestion. Also, my mum might phone.
CRAIG: Might?
SOPHIE: And your Mum, and my Dad, and you know, just some people.
CRAIG: I can cope on my own. Now, please go and have a rest. You need it. I love you.
SOPHIE: I love you, too. And thank you for this. And I do know you can cope on your own. And I may have drawn some arrows in the fridge.
CRAIG: You really have to go now.

[Changing rooms]

(There are garments and accessories scattered everywhere.)

SHONA: Oh, Kelly.

(One of the cubicle curtains moves in the flickering light.)

SHONA: Hello? Sorry, we need to close up. Two minutes, okay?

[Living room]

CRAIG: Mum, it's not just you. I'm phoning everybody. I'm texting the world. Craig Owens can do it on his own. No one is coming to help me.

(A knock at the door.)

CRAIG: Mum, I'm going to have to call you back. I'm coping. I'm coping on my own. I'm coping on my own!

[Front door]

CRAIG: I'm coping on my own!
DOCTOR: Hello, Craig. I'm back.
CRAIG: She didn't. How could she phone you?
DOCTOR: How could who phone me? Nobody phoned me, I'm just here. Oh, you've redecorated. I don't like it.
CRAIG: It's a different house. We moved.
DOCTOR: Yes, that's it.
CRAIG: Doctor, what are you doing here?
DOCTOR: Social call. Thought it was about time I tried one out. How are you?
CRAIG: I'm fine.
DOCTOR: This is the bit where I say I'm fine too, isn't it? I'm fine, too. Good. Love to Sophie. Bye.

(The Doctor turns to leave, then the lights flicker.)

DOCTOR: Something's wrong.

(He runs inside and heads upstairs with the sonic screwdriver.)

[Staircase]

DOCTOR: On your own, you said. But you're not. You're not on your own.
CRAIG: Just shush.
DOCTOR: Increased sulphur emissions. And look at the state of this place. What are you not telling me?
CRAIG: Doctor, please.
DOCTOR: Shush.
CRAIG: No, you shush.
DOCTOR: Shush!
CRAIG: Shush!
DOCTOR: No, you shush!
CRAIG: Doctor!

[Changing rooms]

SHONA: Hello, who's in there?

[Alfie's bedroom]

(The Doctor bursts in.)

DOCTOR: Whatever you are, get off this planet.
ALFIE: Whaaaa!!
CRAIG: You've woken him!

[Changing rooms]

SHONA: Hello? Are you all right?

(She pulls back the curtain to reveal - a Cyberman!)

[Kitchen]

DOCTOR: So when you say on your own
CRAIG: Yes, I meant on my own with the baby. Yes. Because no one thinks I can cope on my own. Which is so unfair, because I can't cope on my own with him. I can't. He just cries all the time. I mean, do they have off switches?
DOCTOR: Human beings. No. Believe me, I've checked.
CRAIG: No, babies.
DOCTOR: Same difference. Sometimes this works though. Shush.

(Alfie goes quiet.)

CRAIG: Can you teach me to do that?
DOCTOR: Probably not.
CRAIG: Oh, please. Come on, I need something. I'm rubbish at this.
DOCTOR: At what?
CRAIG: Being a dad. You read all the books, and they tell you you'll know what to do if you follow your instincts. I have no instinct. That's what this weekend's about, trying to prove to people I can do this one thing well.

(The Doctor is flicking through the books on the table. He laughs at Daisy's Wild Ride.)

DOCTOR: So, what did you call him? Will I blush?
CRAIG: No, we didn't call him the Doctor.
DOCTOR: No, I didn't think you would.
CRAIG: He's called Alfie. What are you doing here anyway?
DOCTOR: Yes, he likes that, Alfie, though personally he prefers to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord Of All.
CRAIG: Sorry, what?
DOCTOR: That's what he calls himself.
CRAIG: And how do you know that?
DOCTOR: I speak baby.
CRAIG: Of course you do. I don't even know when his nappy needs changing, and I'm the one supposed to be his dad. Oh.
DOCTOR: Yeah. He's wondering where his mum is? Where is Sophie?
CRAIG: She's gone away with Melina for the weekend. She needs a rest.
DOCTOR: No, he's your dad. You can't just call him Not Mum.
CRAIG: Not Mum?
DOCTOR: That's you. Also Not Mum, that's me. And everybody else is peasants. That's a bit unfortunate.
CRAIG: What are you here for? What's happening?
DOCTOR: I just popped in to say hello.
CRAIG: You don't do that. I checked upstairs when we moved, it's real. And next door, both sides, they're humans. Is it the fridge? Are there aliens in my fridge?
DOCTOR: I just want to see you, Craig! Cross my hearts. I've been knocking about on my own for a bit. Bit of a farewell tour. One last thing, popping in to see you, then I'm off to the Alignment of Exedor.
CRAIG: The Alignment of Exedor?
DOCTOR: Seventeen galaxies in perfect unison. Meant to be spectacular. I can't miss it. Literally can't. It's locked in a time stasis field. I get one crack at flying my TARDIS straight into it, if I get my dates right. Which I have.
CRAIG: Sounds nice.

(The Doctor looks through the local paper.)

DOCTOR: So this is me, popping in and popping out again. Just being social. Just having a laugh. Never mind that.
CRAIG: Never mind what?
DOCTOR: Nothing.
CRAIG: No, you've noticed something. You've got your noticing face on. I have nightmares about that face.
DOCTOR: Ooo, nope, given up all that. Done noticing things. I didn't even notice that, for example. Well, got to go. Good seeing you, Craig. Goodbye, Stormageddon.
CRAIG: No, no, wait, wait. Can you do the shushing thing?
DOCTOR: No, it only works once, and only on life forms with underdeveloped brains.
CRAIG: Hang on. You said farewell tour. What do you mean, farewell?
DOCTOR: Shush.

[Outside Craig's home]

DOCTOR: Just go. Stop noticing. Just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop noticing, just go. Stop it. Am I noticing? No. No, I am not. And what I am not doing is scanning for electrical fluctuations. Oh, shut up, you. I'm just dropping in on a friend. The last thing I need right now is a patina of teleport energy. I'm going. Do you hear me? Going. Not staying, going. I am through saving them. I am going away now.

[Toy department]

(The Doctor is demonstrating a remote control helicopter to a group of children.)

DOCTOR: It goes up tiddly up, it goes down tiddly down for only forty nine ninety nine, which I personally think is a bit steep, but then again it's your parents' cash and they'll only waste it on boring stuff like lamps and vegetables. Yawn!
CRAIG: Yeah, Soph. Just enjoy your holiday. Yeah, coping.
DOCTOR: Nobody panic, but I appear to be losing control.

(The helicopter crashes near Craig.)

CRAIG: Yeah, love you.
DOCTOR: Oops. Guys, guys, ladies and gentlemen. While I deal with this awkward moment, you go and find your parents slash guardians. Try in lamps. Craig!
CRAIG: What the hell are you doing here?
DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. I work in a shop now. Here to help. Look, they gave me a badge with my name on in case I forget who I am. Very thoughtful, as that does happen.
CRAIG: You were leaving. The Alignment of Exeter, what about that? One chance to see it, you said.
DOCTOR: Well, I was on my way, you know. Saw a shop, got a job. You got to live in the moment. Craig, mind Yappy.
CRAIG: What?
DOCTOR: Yappy. The robot dog. Not so much fun as I remember. You look awful.
CRAIG: I haven't slept, have I? I still can't stop him crying. I even tried singing to him last night.
DOCTOR: Yeah, he did mention that he thought you were crying, too. He didn't get a wink. Yappy, say goodbye to Craig and Stormageddon. Goodbye, Craig. Goodbye, Stormageddon.

(As the Doctor puts down the little robot dog, something whizzes past the end of the aisle.)

DOCTOR: What was that?
CRAIG: You're here for a reason, aren't you? You noticed something, and you're investigating it. And because it's you, it's going to be dangerous and alien.
DOCTOR: Might not be.
CRAIG: Doctor, I live here. I need to know.
DOCTOR: No, you don't.
CRAIG: My baby lives here. My son.
DOCTOR: Sheila Clark went missing Tuesday. Atif Ghosh last seen Friday. Tom Luker last seen Sunday.
CRAIG: Why's none of this on the front page?
DOCTOR: Oh, page one has an exclusive on Nina, a local girl who got kicked off Britain's Got Talent. These people are on pages seven, nineteen, twenty two. Because no one's noticed yet. They're far too excited about Nina's emotional journey, which in fairness, is quite inspiring.
CRAIG: And what else?

(The Doctor wheels Alfie's buggy out into -)

[Children's clothing]

DOCTOR: These funny old power fluctuations which just happen to coincide with the disappearances.
CRAIG: That's just the council putting in new cables, isn't it?

(He stops at an Out Of Order lift.)

DOCTOR: Oh yes, that's it. Mystery solved. Wasting my time. Now, you can go home and I can go to Exedor. Goodbye.

(He uses his sonic screwdriver.)

DOCTOR: And here's the lift.
CRAIG: It says it's out of order.
DOCTOR: Not any more. See? Here to help.
CRAIG: It says danger.
DOCTOR: Oh, rubbish. Lifts aren't dangerous.
CRAIG: Do I look like I'm stupid?

(Alfie makes a comment in Baby. The Doctor laughs.)

DOCTOR: Quiet, Stormy. Oh, all right. There's more.

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Just between you, me and Stormy, don't want to frighten me punters. Someone's been using a teleport relay right here in this shop. Missing people last seen in this area. Before you ask, CCTV's been wiped.
CRAIG: A teleport? A teleport? A teleport like, a beam me up teleport, like you see in Star Trek?
DOCTOR: Exactly. Someone's been using a beam me up Star Trek teleport. Could be disguised as anything.

(There are six circles in a circle on the ceiling.)

CRAIG: But a teleport in a shop? That's ridiculous.

[Cybership]

CRAIG: What was that? Was that the lights again?
DOCTOR: (strangled) Yes, that's it. That's all. It's the lights.
CRAIG: Why did you say that like that?
DOCTOR: Like what?
CRAIG: Like that, in that high pitched voice.
DOCTOR: Just keep looking at me, Craig. Right at me. Just keep looking.
CRAIG: Why?
DOCTOR: Well, because, because, because I love you.
CRAIG: You love me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. It's you. It's always been you.
CRAIG: Me?
DOCTOR: Is that so surprising?

(The Doctor puts his arms around Craig's neck and uses the sonic screwdriver on whatever it is behind the definitely-not-a-lift-anymore scene behind him.)

CRAIG: Doctor, are you going to kiss me?
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig. Yes, I am. Would you like that? Bit out of practice, but I've had some wonderful feedback.
CRAIG: Doctor, no. I can't. I'm taken.

(Craig looks behind him.)

CRAIG: Oh, my God!
DOCTOR: Or we could just hold hands if it make you'd feel more comfortable.

(A Cyberman notices them.)

CRAIG: What is happening?
DOCTOR: Well, first of all, I don't really love you, except as a friend.
CRAIG: What is that?

[Lift]

DOCTOR: Quick reverse.
CRAIG: What the hell just happened?

[Children's clothing]

DOCTOR: They must have linked the teleport relay to the lift, but I've fused it. They can't use that again. Stuck up there on their spaceship.

[Soft furnishings]

CRAIG: What were those things?
DOCTOR: Cybermen.
CRAIG: Ship. A spaceship. We were in space?

[Pedestrian precinct]

(After sunset.)

DOCTOR: It's got to be up there somewhere. Can't get a fix. It must be shielded.
CRAIG: But you fused the teleport. You sorted it. They can't come back.
DOCTOR: No, no, no, I've just bought myself a little time. Still got to work out what they're doing before I can stop it.
CRAIG: But if they've got the teleport and they're that evil, why haven't they invaded already?
DOCTOR: Craig, take Alfie and go.
CRAIG: No.
DOCTOR: No?
CRAIG: No. I remember from last time, people got killed. People that didn't know you. I know where it's safest for me and Alfie, and that's right next to you.
DOCTOR: Is that so?
CRAIG: Yeah. You always win. You always survive.
DOCTOR: Those were the days.
CRAIG: I can help you. I'm staying.
DOCTOR: Craig. Craig. All right. All right, maybe those days aren't quite over yet. Let's go and investigate. I mean, there's no immediate danger now.

[Jewellry section]

DOCTOR: Good afternoon, Val.
VAL: Hello.
CRAIG: Where am I investigating?
DOCTOR: Well, look round. Ask questions. People like it when you're with a baby. Babies are sweet. People talk to you. That's why I usually take a human with me.
CRAIG: So, I'm your baby?
DOCTOR: You're my baby.

(The Doctor hugs Craig. Val smiles indulgently.)

VAL: Hope you don't mind me saying, Doctor, but I think you look ever so sweet, you and your partner and the baby.
DOCTOR: Partner. Yes, I like it. Is it better than companion?
VAL: Companion sounds old-fashioned. There's no need to be coy these days.
DOCTOR: You've not noticed anything unusual around here lately, Val?
VAL: Well
DOCTOR: Yes, yes?
VAL: Mary Warnock saw Don Petheridge snogging Andrea Groom outside the Conservative Club on his so-called day off golfing.
DOCTOR: Yeah. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.

(The Doctor air-kisses Val and moves away.)

VAL: And then there's that silver rat thing.
DOCTOR: What?

[Ladies underwear]

(The thing that has just scuttled past.)

CRAIG: All right, Alfie, you watch Daddy investigate. You look cute, I'll do the talking.

(He finds Kelly by a rack of bras.)

KELLY: Good afternoon, sir. Can I help you?
CRAIG: Hiya. I'm Craig.
KELLY: Yeah?
CRAIG: Do you mind if I just ask you some questions.
KELLY: You what?
CRAIG: Just between me and you, in confidence, have you noticed anything unusual? Interesting?
KELLY: You what?
CRAIG: Talk to me about ladies wear.
KELLY: George!

(Enter the well built security guard.)

CRAIG: Hi, George. Nice uniform.

[Toy department]

(The Doctor is underneath a table, scanning.)

DOCTOR: A silver rat, glowing red eyes.
VAL: Yes. Then it zizzed off. I wanted to get one for my nephew, but stockroom say there's no such item.
DOCTOR: I bet they do.
VAL: Well, what was it then? Answer me that.

[Ladies underwear]

GEORGE: Can I help you, sir?
CRAIG: Have you seen how cute my baby is? Look at his face. I'm going to head off, actually. All right, whoa.

[Toy department]

CRAIG [OC]: Whoa!
VAL: What's all that hullabaloo?
DOCTOR: Er, that'll be my partner with the er
VAL: Ah.

[Ladies underwear]

(Craig has knocked over a rack of frillies.)

GEORGE: Make a habit of hanging round in women's wear, sir?
CRAIG: I'm sorry. Oh, shush. Alfie, come on.
KELLY: He's a pervert. Look at him.
DOCTOR: Hello, everyone. Here to help.
KELLY: Hello, Doctor.
GEORGE: Hello, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Hello. Has anyone seen a silver rat? No. Okay. Long shot. I see you've met my friend, Craig. Nice uniform, George.
GEORGE: Thank you, Doctor. If he's with you, that's all right, then.
KELLY: Sorry. I thought he was hassling me, because that's the last thing I need today, because Shona's not turned up, right, so I'm doing twice the work for the same money, if you don't mind.
DOCTOR: Shush.
CRAIG: Please teach me how to do that.
DOCTOR: No. Hold on. Un-shush. Shona?
KELLY: My supervisor. She's meant to be in today but never showed up.
DOCTOR: Well, where did you last see her?

[Changing rooms]

CRAIG: How do you do that? It's a power, isn't it. Some sort of weird alien hypnotic power. I bet you excrete some sort of gas that makes people love you.
DOCTOR: Would that I could, Craig.

(The Doctor looks through a curtain and a woman screams.)

DOCTOR: Er, sorry, Madam. I'd try that in red if I were you.
CRAIG: I'm right though, aren't I?
DOCTOR: Well, you love me, I've never excreted any weird alien gases at you.
CRAIG: I don't love you. Don't start that again.

(Alfie gurgles.)

DOCTOR: Yes, I know. Course he does. Of course you do. We're partners.
CRAIG: Yeah, but I did exactly what you would have done, and I nearly got arrested.
DOCTOR: Stormy thinks you should believe in yourself more.
CRAIG: Great. So now my baby's reviewing me.
DOCTOR: Here. Right here. Last night. A Cyberman took Shona.
CRAIG: A Cyberman? I thought it was a little silver rat.
DOCTOR: It's not a rat. It's a Cybermat.
CRAIG: All right. Don't have a go at me just because I don't know the names.

[Ladies clothing]

DOCTOR: Cybermats are infiltrators. Very small, very deadly. They collect power like bees collect pollen. One of them's been sucking the electrical energy from this area. But why a shop? You know, why not a nuclear power station?
CRAIG: Okay, why?
DOCTOR: Let's ask it. We wait for the shop to shut. We stake the place out and grab ourselves a Cybermat.
CRAIG: And this is just a coincidence, is it?
DOCTOR: What is?
CRAIG: Aliens in Colchester. Aliens twice in my life, happening to me, just when you turn up.
DOCTOR: Whoa, whoa, whoa. This is not my fault, Craig.
CRAIG: Oh, shush. Look what you've done now.
DOCTOR: It's his nappy. He's mentioned it twice.
CRAIG: Well sorry, I don't speak baby, do I.
DOCTOR: There's a changing station over by Electrical Goods.
CRAIG: And of course, you'd know that. Come on, Alfie.
DOCTOR: Craig! It's a coincidence. It happens. It's what the universe does for

(The Doctor sees Amy and Rory walking towards him when a little girl stops them.)

ELLY: Can I have your autograph, please?
AMY: Er, yeah. Sure.
DOCTOR: Fun.
AMY: What's your name?
ELLY: Elly.
AMY: To Elly. I like your hairband.
ELLY: Thank you.

(The Doctor conceals himself.)

RORY: All right?
AMY: There you go.
ELLY: Thank you.

(Amy and Rory leave. Elly points towards the Doctor. He turns to see a big perfume advert on the wall nearby with Amy's face on it. Petrichor. For The Girl Who's Tired Of Waiting.)

DOCTOR: Amelia Pond.

[Ground floor]

(The Doctor, Craig, and Alfie hide amongst the perfume and make up counters as George makes his rounds. When it is clear, the Doctor starts scanning with his sonic screwdriver.)

DOCTOR: Right, let's be having you then, Cybermat.

(Alfie cries.)

DOCTOR: Shush.
CRAIG: Can't you put that on quiet?
DOCTOR: No. It's a sonic screwdriver. Sonic equals sound. Take this. I got it on my discount, ten percent off. It's a papoose.
CRAIG: Why do I need a papoose?
DOCTOR: Alfie wants you attached to him. You are far too slow when he summons you.
CRAIG: When's he going to stop giving me marks?
DOCTOR: Never. That's parenthood. Couldn't you have just got a babysitter? No, any babysitter. Doesn't have to be a hot one.
CRAIG: I told everyone I know I didn't need their help this weekend.
DOCTOR: Well.
CRAIG: They won't even answer my calls. I didn't know there was going to be an invasion of Cyberman.
DOCTOR: Shush.

(Down in the basement, the lights are playing up.)

DOCTOR: It's okay.

(They get Alfie out of the buggy to go into the papoose when the Cybermat shows itself. The Doctor snares it in a butterfly net.)

DOCTOR: Ah ha! That's very odd. It must be on low power. Or I'm better at that than I remember.
CRAIG: Oh, is that it?
DOCTOR: Yeah.
CRAIG: Oh, that's quite cute. Look at that. Look, Alfie, look.

(The Cybermat bares its teeth.)

CRAIG: Argh!

(The Doctor sonicks it into submission. Down in the basement, George hears some noises and goes to investigate. There is a Cyberman behind him.)

CRAIG: Metal rat, real mouth! Metal rat, real mouth.
DOCTOR: Yes, I know it is.
CRAIG: Metal rat, real mouth.
DOCTOR: Stop screaming. Stop, stop screaming. Shush.

(George screams.)

DOCTOR: Come on!

[Basement]

DOCTOR: George!

(He finds the torch, then the man.)

DOCTOR: George

(The Cyberman knocks him out. A little later...)

CRAIG: Doctor! Doctor! Doctor! What happened?
DOCTOR: Oh, I've been, I've been chipped, chapped, chopped. The Cyberman. It killed George, took him back to the ship.
CRAIG: The Cybermen are here? But you said
DOCTOR: Yeah, I know what I said. I say a lot of things. But I fused the teleport. It should have taken them days to repair.
CRAIG: Are you okay?
DOCTOR: Oh, I should be dead, but the arm it chopped me with, it was damaged. Old spare parts. Must have changed those missing people.
CRAIG: They've changed the missing into Cybermen? Why didn't they change you?
DOCTOR: A long story. I'm not exactly compatible. But why are they using spare parts? Why? Everything I find out makes less sense.
CRAIG: Doctor, listen to me. If the Cybermen are here, then we're not safe. We've got to go. We've got to go back to base.
DOCTOR: We've got a base? When did we get a base?

[Kitchen]

(The Doctor is mixing something up in a bowl.)

CRAIG: I'm going down the shop. We've run out of milk. You know what to do if he cries.

(Craig throws a mobile phone to the Doctor and leaves.)

DOCTOR: No.
CRAIG [OC]: Me neither.

(Alfie cries.)

DOCTOR: Oh.

[Alfie's room]

DOCTOR: Hello, Stormageddon. It's the Doctor. Here to help. Shush. Hey. There, there. Be quiet. Go to sleep. Really. Stop crying. You've got a lot to look forward to, you know. A normal human life on Earth. Mortgage repayments, the nine to five, a persistent nagging sense of spiritual emptiness. Save the tears for later, boy-o. Oh, no. That was crabby. No, that was old. But I am old, Stormy. I am so old. So near the end.

(The Cybermat starts to flicker back into life.)

DOCTOR: You, Alfie Owens, you are so young, aren't you? And, you know, right now, everything's ahead of you. You could be anything. Yes, I know. You could walk among the stars. They don't actually look like that, you know. They are rather more impressive.

(The Doctor sonicks up a holographic starscape.)

DOCTOR: Yeah. You know, when I was little like you, I dreamt of the stars. I think it's fair to say in the language of your age, that I lived my dream, I owned the stage, gave it a hundred and ten percent. I hope you have as much fun as I did, Alfie.

(The Cybermat is making its escape.)

DOCTOR: Your dad's trying his best, you know. Yes, I know it's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands. No, neither do I. Alfie, why is there a sinister beeping coming from behind me?

(The Cybermat gnashes its teeth at him.)

DOCTOR: Oh, no you don't.

(The Doctor sonicks it.)

DOCTOR: Come on, Alfie. Run! It's only stunned.

[Kitchen]

DOCTOR: It's going to be okay. Good Alfie. Yes. Don't worry about anything. We're going to go outside.

(The Doctor drops his screwdriver as he goes through the patio doors.)

DOCTOR: Oops.

[Craig's home]

CRAIG: I'm back!

(He puts his phone down on the hall table. It starts to buzz.)

[Garden]

(More of a patio, really.)

DOCTOR: Come on, Craig, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up.

[Craig's home]

CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor?

(He goes into the kitchen, puts the milk in the fridge and the Cybermat leaps for his throat. Craig grabs it and manages to hold it off.)

[Garden]

(Craig's phone has gone to answerphone.)

DOCTOR: Craig? Don't worry. Alfie is fine. But on no account enter the house.
CRAIG [OC]: Doctor!
DOCTOR: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
CRAIG [OC]: Help me!

(The Doctor puts Alfie in his baby bouncer and crashes through the glass door.)

[Kitchen]

CRAIG: Where's Alfie? Where's Alfie?
DOCTOR: He's safe. He's safe!
CRAIG: Get it off me!
DOCTOR: I think I can find the right frequency, shut it down again!
CRAIG: Kill it!
DOCTOR: All right, all right, all right! Move!

(The Doctor hits the Cybermat with a large pan. It leaps onto the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: Argh! Baking tray, Craig. Baking tray!

(Craig gets the tray and they get the Cybermat onto the floor under it.)

DOCTOR: Hold it down!
CRAIG: Get on with it!
DOCTOR: Ah, it must be shielded from metastatic energy. Of course.
CRAIG: Of course.
DOCTOR: Don't worry, I have an app for that. Stand back. Stand back!

(The Doctor zaps the Cybermat.)

DOCTOR: Success. That was amazing. You must be really, really strong. That thing should have had you easily.
CRAIG: Is it definitely dead?
DOCTOR: Inactive, yes. Technically never been alive. It was playing possum before, to take us by surprise. Bravo.
CRAIG: Phew. Alfie!

[Living room]

(Craig is walking up and down with Alfie while the Doctor takes the Cybermat apart.)

CRAIG: (yawns) I'm knackered. That thing was eating up the electricity?
DOCTOR: And transmitting it up to the Cybership. But why? Why do they need power? Why are those conversions not complete yet, and what are they doing up there?
CRAIG: You said you were going to look at its brain.
DOCTOR: No, I had to wipe its brain. Now I can reprogram it and use it as a weapon against them.
CRAIG: The Cybermat came after us?
DOCTOR: No, after me.
CRAIG: They sent it after us.
DOCTOR: After me. Because of me, you and Alfie nearly died. Do you still feel safe with me, Craig?
CRAIG: You can't help who your mates are.
DOCTOR: No. I am a stupid, selfish man. Always have been. I should have made you go. I should never have come here.
CRAIG: What would have happened if you hadn't come? Who else knows about the Cybermen and teleports?
DOCTOR: I put people in danger.
CRAIG: Stop beating yourself up. If it weren't for you, this whole planet would be an absolute ruin.
DOCTOR: Craig, very soon I won't be here. My time is running out. I don't mean Exedor. Silence will fall when the question is asked. Don't even know what the question is. I always knew I'd die still asking. Thing is, Craig, it's tomorrow. Can't put it off any more. Tomorrow is the day I

(Craig and Alfie are asleep on the sofa.)

DOCTOR: Ah.

[Outside Craig's home]

(Next morning.)

DOCTOR: Safe mode. Clever me. Come along, Bitey.

[Living room]

(Craig wakes to hear Sophie's voice leaving a message.)

SOPHIE [OC]: So I'll be back about ten, because Melina's totally gone off on one. She's going to kill David Jenkins. I know I'm stupid to worry. I can't wait to get home to my special boys!
CRAIG: Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Kitchen]

CRAIG: Doctor?
SOPHIE [OC]: Love you, Alfie. Love you, Craig.

(There is a message on the fridge door. Dear Craig. Gone to stop Cybermen. Sorry, goodbye. The Doctor.)

CRAIG: You idiot!

[Ladies clothing]

VAL: Morning!
DOCTOR: Morning. Teleport's still fused. They didn't repair it. So, the Cyberman last night. How did it get down here, how did it get out? And why, why, am I asking you?
VAL: You found the silver rat?
DOCTOR: But where are the silver men?

[Kitchen]

(Craig is putting Alfie into the papoose.)

CRAIG: I'm sorry, Alfie, I can't leave you here on your own. There's something up with the Doctor, and we owe him. I wouldn't have you or Mummy if it wasn't for him. He needs someone. He always needs someone. He just can't admit it. I promise nothing's going to happen to you. All right, come on, here we go.

[Changing rooms]

DOCTOR: Secondary teleport. No, there is no other teleport. They must have had a back-up system. Something complicated, something powerful, something shielded. Something like a door? A door! A disillium bonded steel door disguised as a wall.

(At the back of the cubicle.)

DOCTOR: That is cheating. So, it didn't teleport down, it climbed up.

[Cybership]

(The tunnel is nice and circular, with the occasional tree root poking through. At the bottom is a big cavern with the Cybership in it. The inside is the exact opposite of the normal Cyber clean and shiny.)

DOCTOR: Well, well, well. You have been busy.

[Ladies clothing]

CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor?
VAL: Another row? He went in the changing rooms. Something about silver men.
CRAIG: Oh, God, no. Val, I need you to look after Alfie for me, okay? Please look after him. The Doctor needs me.
VAL: I understand. You two need time alone.

(Craig hands the papoose over and runs off.)

CRAIG: And don't follow me!
VAL: I wasn't intending to.

[Cybership]

(The Doctor finds George's name tag amongst the dirt on the floor.)

CYBERMAN: You have come to us.
DOCTOR: Took me a while. Lot on my mind. Let's see. This ship crashed here centuries ago. No survivors, but the systems are dormant, waiting for power, and then the council stick a load of new cables right on top of you. Bitey wakes up and channels the power. You start crewing up from the shop as best you can. Not enough power, not enough parts.
CYBERMAN: When we are ready, we will emerge. We will convert this planet to Cyberform.
DOCTOR: What, the six of you?
CYBERMAN: You know that is enough. You know us. You are the Doctor.
DOCTOR: Correct. And the Doctor always gives you a choice. Deactivate yourself, or I deactivate you.

(A second Cyberman approaches from behind.)

[Changing rooms]

CRAIG: Doctor? Doctor?

(He finds the hole in the wall, grabs a laser barcode reader and heads inside.)

[Cybership]

(The Doctor has been seized.)

DOCTOR: Argh!
CYBERMAN: He must be the new leader.
CYBERMAN 2: No. He is not like us. Brain and binary vascular system incompatible. They will be discarded. Other body parts may be of use.
CRAIG: Oi, Cybermen! Get off my planet, or I activate this.
DOCTOR: Craig, stop this. Get out!
CRAIG: It's like you said, Doctor. Got to believe you can do it.
CYBERMAN: You located us?
CRAIG: Yeah. Teleport in the lift, bit rubbish. And that little Cybermat never stood a chance. So you see what you're dealing with?
CYBERMAN: You are compatible. You are intelligent.

(The Cyberman zaps the barcode reader from Craig's hands and a third one grabs him.)

CRAIG: Argh! No, I'm not intelligent. You don't want me.
CYBERMAN: Do not fear. We will take your fear from you. You will be like us. You will be more than us.
CRAIG: No, no, no.
CYBERMAN: Your designation is CyberController. You will lead us. We will conquer this world.
CRAIG: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Craig!
CRAIG: Do something, please!

(Craig is clamped into a conversion chamber.)

CRAIG: Doctor.
DOCTOR: Craig, don't worry. I've reprogrammed their Cybermat. It'll drain their power.

(The Cyberman stomps on the Cybermat.)

CYBERMAN: You have failed, Doctor. Begin conversion. Phase one. Cleanse the brain of emotions.
DOCTOR: No. Craig, fight it! They can't convert you if you fight back. You're strong. Don't give in to it.
CRAIG: Help me!
DOCTOR: Think of Sophie. Think of Alfie. Craig, don't let them take it all away.
CRAIG: Make it stop. Please, make it stop!
DOCTOR: Please, listen to me. I believe in you. I believe you can do this. I've always believed in all of you, all my life. I'm going die, Craig. Tomorrow, I'm going to die, but I don't mind if you just prove me right. Craig!

(A Cyberman helmet closes over Craig's face.)

CYBERMAN: Begin full conversion.

[Ladies clothing]

(Alfie is crying.)

VAL: Don't worry, It's just a little light going out.

[Cybership]

(They are on the monitor.)

CYBERMAN 2: Unknown soundwave detected.
CYBERMAN: It is the sound of fear. It is irrelevant. We will remove all fear.
DOCTOR: Alfie, I'm so sorry! Alfie, please, stop. I, I can't help him.
CYBERMAN: Emotions eradicated. Conversion complete. Alert. Emotional subsystems rebooting. This is impossible.
DOCTOR: He can hear him. He can hear Alfie. Oh, please, just give me this. Craig, you wanted a chance to prove you're a dad. You are never going to get better one than this.
CYBERMAN: What is happening?
DOCTOR: What's happening, you metal moron? A baby is crying. And you'd better watch out, because guess what? Ha ha! Daddy's coming home!

(The Cyberman helmet opens again, and Craig starts to break out of the conversion chamber.)

CRAIG: Alfie! Alfie, I'm here! I'm coming for you!
DOCTOR: Yes, Craig.
CRAIG: Alfie!

(The Doctor gets free of the confused Cyberman and grabs his sonic screwdriver.)

DOCTOR: Alfie needs you!
CYBERMAN: Emergency. Emotional influx!
DOCTOR: You've triggered a feedback loop into their emotional inhibitors. All that stuff they cut out of themselves, now they're feeling it. Which means a very big explosion.
CYBERMAN: Overload. Overload. Overload.
CRAIG: Get it open! We need to get to Alfie!
DOCTOR: They've sealed the ship!
CRAIG: We've got to get out of here!
DOCTOR: I know!

(The Cybermen's heads start exploding.)

DOCTOR: The teleport!

(The Doctor sonicks the controls and they beam away just before the whole Cybership goes KaBOOM.)

[Ladies clothing]

VAL: How did you get in there?
CRAIG: Alfie!
VAL: Here's your daddy.

(Val hands Alfie over. He gurgles.)

DOCTOR: That was another review. Ten out of ten.
CRAIG: The Cybermen. They blew up. I blew them up with love.
DOCTOR: No, that's impossible. And also grossly sentimental and over simplistic. You destroyed them because of the deeply ingrained hereditary human trait to protect one's own genes, which in turn triggered a, a, a. Yeah. Love. You blew them up with love.

[Ladies underwear]

DOCTOR: The building should be totally safe structurally, and of course the bonded disillium contained the explosion.
KELLY: Right. Why you telling me all this?
DOCTOR: I don't know. Shush.
VAL: It suits you.

(Craig has a new shirt.)

CRAIG: Thanks.
VAL: Discount applies to partners.
CRAIG: Great.
VAL: Are you two married then?
CRAIG: No, no. We talked about it, but it's just a piece of paper, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Thank you for your help, Val. Good noticing. Keep them peeled.
VAL: I will. I'm glad you two made up for baby's sake.
DOCTOR: Ah.
CRAIG: How do you mean?
VAL: It's nice for baby to have two daddies who love each other.
CRAIG: Wait. Hang on a sec. Two daddies? You think I'm?
VAL: His companion.
CRAIG: Ha ha ha! Doctor?
VAL: Oh. Now where's he rushed off to?
CRAIG: He's gone.

[Living room]

CRAIG: Who's tidied all this up?

[Kitchen]

DOCTOR: See, I do come back.
CRAIG: How did you?
DOCTOR: Time machine. But even with time travel, getting glaziers on a Sunday. Tricky.
CRAIG: You went back in time? That means you used up your hours. What about Exedor?
DOCTOR: What about you being in trouble with Sophie when she comes back? I couldn't let that happen.
CRAIG: You used up your time for me?
DOCTOR; Course I did. You're my mate. I notice Stormageddon's very quiet and happy. Oh, he prefers the name Alfie now. And he's very proud of his dad.
CRAIG: He calls me dad?
DOCTOR: Yes, of course he does now. Yeah, I know. He's a bit thick, isn't he?
CRAIG: Oi, shut up, you two.
DOCTOR: Well, now it's time. I have to go.
CRAIG: Doctor, I know that something's wrong. I can help you.
DOCTOR: Nobody can help me. I hope Sophie won't mind. I need these.

(TARDIS-blue envelopes.)

CRAIG: Where are you going to go?
DOCTOR: America.
CRAIG: Sophie'll be home any second. Are you sure
DOCTOR: I can't miss this appointment, Craig. Goodbye, mate.
CRAIG: Wait there. One second.

(Craig returns with a stetson.)

CRAIG: From Sean's stag.
DOCTOR: Wow.
CRAIG: You ride 'em, pardner.
DOCTOR: Oh, thanks.
CRAIG: Bye.

(Knock on the door.)

CRAIG: Doctor, that will be Sophie arriv

(The Doctor has gone out the back. Craig answers the door.)

[Front door]

SOPHIE: Hello, hello, I forgot my keys.
CRAIG: Oh, I've missed you so much.
SOPHIE: I missed you, too. Both of you. Are you wearing a papoose?
CRAIG: Yes.

[Living room]

SOPHIE: Oh, my God, the place is spotless. Has anything happened? You look different.
CRAIG: Nothing happened. Nothing weird.
SOPHIE: Look at you two, thick as thieves. Who's Daddy's little boy then?
ALFIE: Doctor.
SOPHIE: What? Craig?

[Outside the TARDIS]

DOCTOR: Well then, old girl. One last trip, eh?

(Some children nearby stop playing to stare at the weirdo talking to a police box.)

DOCTOR: Hey. I'm the Doctor. I was here to help. And you are very, very welcome.
BLONDE GIRL [OC]: It was funny. He seemed so happy, but so sad at the same time.
DARK BOY [OC]: I was just a kid. I thought maybe he was a cowboy on his way to a gunfight.
GIRL IN SCARF [OC]: I really liked his hat.

[Study]

(River puts the eye witness reports back into their folder and checks her diary. 22/04/11 5:02pm Lake Silencio.)
KOVARIAN [OC]: Tick tock, goes the clock, and what now shall we play? Tick tock, goes the clock, now summer's gone away.
RIVER: Hello?
KOVARIAN: Such a lovely old song. But is it about him?
RIVER: You know about the Doctor?
KOVARIAN: So very well. Oh, don't try and remember me. We've been far too thorough with your dear little head.

(Two Silence creep up behind River.)

RIVER: Oh! What are they? What are those things?
KOVARIAN: Your owners.
RIVER: My what?
KOVARIAN: So, they made you a Doctor today, did they? Doctor River Song. How clever you are. You understand what this is, don't you?
RIVER: According to some accounts, it's the day the Doctor dies.
KOVARIAN: By Silencio Lake, on the Plain of Sighs, an Impossible Astronaut will rise from the deep and strike the Time Lord dead.
RIVER: It's a story.
KOVARIAN: And this is where it begins.

(Two soldiers enter with a NASA spacesuit.)

KOVARIAN: You never really escaped us, Melody Pond. We were always coming for you.
RIVER: How do you know who I am?
KOVARIAN: I made you what you are. The woman who kills the Doctor.
RIVER: No! No! No!

(River is injected with a sedative.)

KOVARIAN: Tick tock, goes the clock, and all the years they fly. Tick tock, and all too soon, your love will surely die.

(River wakes up in the spacesuit, under water.)

CHILDREN [OC]: Tick tock goes the clock, the cradle now be rocked. Tick tock, goes the clock till River kills the Doctor.

Transcript originally provided by Chrissie. Adapted by TARDIS.guide. The transcripts are for educational and entertainment purposes only. All other copyrights property of their respective holders.

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