It's extremely rare that I've come out of a Doccy Who story thinking "what was even the point?"

And yet.

And yet.

When this set was announced, I recall being excited. The idea of the Time War being started early by 4, who'd regenerate into a more ruthless incarnation, sounded interesting and like it'd have a lot to explore.

Then I read reviews and thanked the lord I didn't buy this at the time.

Unfortunately, for NarvinQuest TM, I've had to listen to this. And I am genuinely baffled at the direction of this set.

Let's take the above premise. Now let's sit in on the pitch meeting for the first set of said premise. I imagine it went something like this:

"Hey Big Briggsy, what if we open our first set of our new exciting alternate universe Doctor who's more ruthless and started the time war early by not focusing on him at all, and instead on the 6th Doctor being erased by the timeline changes?"

"Wow that sounds great!"

"And for our second story, The Warrior - as he now calls himself - not knowing where he is, why he is or what's going on. With The Master telling him stuff and him denying it!"

"Oh so you mean our new interesting incarnation will have zero agency until the end of the story?"

"Yeah! And when he does have agency he does a bunch of nonsense that makes no sense!"

"Damn. You're a genius! Have a raise! We're gonna sell a gazillion copies!!!"

And that's what gets me most. I can forgive the lack of agency The Warrior has [lie], I can forgive the lack of focus both the previous story and especially this one have [lie], I can forgive the waste of Narvin (despite some good ideas with The Daleks conquering Gallifrey and being his boss, that ruled) [lie], but what I can't forgive is that absolutely nothing happens other than a couple cool ideas that come to nothing for the first 60 minutes of a 70 minute story, before tying up in a way that is incomprehensible and annoying.

This is boring art. This is frustrating art. This is a good concept completely and utterly wasted. Why should I even care about what's going on?

Urgh. I still have one more story left. What a waste of time.

P.S. Both Colin Baker and ESPECIALLY Geoffrey Beevers are great despite the material. Just not enough to elevate how much this both simultaneously bored and annoyed me.

Doctor Who – Doctor of War: Genesis

#1.02. Aftershocks ~ 4/10

◆ An Introduction

Following on from the chaotic series opener, we have the episode I was most looking forward to. Lou Morgan has something of a spotless track record – having penned two of the best stories with the War Master, and the hilarious ‘Flight 405’ – so my expectations are high.

We’re delving into an alternate Time War… and an alternate Master awaits!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

The ripples are spreading out. The Warrior is on trial. Or is he? No-one’s willing to tell him his crime so how can he know if he’s guilty? And who is trying him anyway?

◆ The Warrior

‘Aftershocks’ features a decent performance from Colin Baker.

The Warrior can only remember pain: you would’ve thought that any crime that could land you in chains would at least be memorable. He often feels like talking to himself is the only means of having a worthwhile conversation.

◆ The Master (The Warrior’s Universe)

Making his debut as the alternative Master, Geoffrey Beevers instantly becomes the greatest part of this episode.

He describes himself as dashing, clever, magnificent. At this point, the Master knows the Warrior better than he does.

◆ Story Recap

The Warrior has been put on trial, for reasons as yet unknown. Still suffering from post-regenerative trauma, there is one nagging question surrounding this new reality: if the Fourth Doctor truly exterminated the Daleks… how are they still here?

◆ Utter Drivel

Despite receiving heaps of praise from me in the introduction, Lou Morgan really dropped the ball with this script. It’s been quite a while since I listened to something quite so incoherent and messy.

There are some decent ideas floating around, such as the explanation for how the Daleks are still alive and kicking: the CIA time ring was never retrieved from the laboratory on Skaro. As time passed, the planet became a unified world of Thals, Kaleds and even Daleks. A lot of potential there, which was completely wasted.

To be honest, the only saving grace of ‘Aftershocks’ was the fairly decent performances. Geoffrey Beevers especially seemed to pull out all the stops.

◆ Sound Design

Rattling shackles have the Warrior bound. Monitors bleep in a CIA control centre. The voice of the Master has this brilliant reverb effect dubbed over it, making it sound like Beevers is inside your ear drums.

◆ Conclusion

“Genocide…”

Lou Morgan has penned some exceptional scripts over the years, which has left me wondering if she hired a pet cat to run around her keyboard for this episode.

Imagine watching ‘Trial of a Time Lord’, except that somebody has removed all the personality from the characters, and cut the whole thing down to an hour. That’s what listening to ‘Aftershocks’ was like: boring.

I’m sorry not vibing here this is my war

I get it now. It all clicked. This chaotic confusing energy has turned from baffling to extremely captivating. These stories make no sense, and they're not supposed to make sense.

A+. Maybe A.