Iris Wildthyme

#1.01. Wildthyme at Large ~ 5/10

◆ An Introduction

Comedy is subjective, but that wont stop me slating stories that utterly fail in their attempts to be funny. People sold me on the idea that ‘Heroes of Sontar’ would be a hilarious pastiche of Dad’s Army, but the result was congealed failure. However, some comedies have managed to escape criticism.

The continuing adventures of a drunken old time-traveller who lives in a double-decker bus, treating all of time and space like one intergalactic pub crawl! Iris is such an instantly likeable character, and I could easily see myself necking cocktails with her in Wetherspoon’s. The majority of her adventures are lovingly crafted parodies of Doctor Who, but they were still clearly finding their feet with this first series…

◆ Publisher’s Summary

A message to you from Panda:

Apparently, it has been ten years since Tom's adventures aboard Iris Wildthyme's trans-dimensional double-decker bus. Tom has now settled into a life of writing weird and wonderful novels (his description; I call them schlocky) about his erstwhile friend in order to support himself and, of course, his best real friend, me! One small, highly intelligent and terribly sophisticated Panda.

Then, one night at a book launch, there was a ruckus in the signing queue. Suddenly, the loud-mouthed floozy of the multiverse was back in his life, no our lives! I ask you, how rude is that? Anyway, she embarrassed him in front of his fans and caused a punch up. Before Tom even knew it, Iris had entrusted him with her most precious possession, ridden off into the night with Robin Hood, and revealed that she was being hunted by evil forces from a higher dimension.

Of course, they both needed me to save the day.

◆ Iris Wildthyme

Whilst Katy Manning delivers a solid performance, the material she’s been given is rather underwhelming.

Iris is hoping for a free copy of Tom’s book, and quickly causes trouble with his fans at the launch party. She’s got no idea how long it’s been since she last saw Tom; her life has been a bit rackety and messy lately. One of the fans is convinced Iris is decked out in full cosplay, saying she looks like an old tramp. Unsurprisingly, that remark lands him with a broken nose! Destroying the memory crystal has left Iris feeling liberated.

◆ Tom

Tom managed to last two episodes before being booted out of this range. This is likely due to Ortis Deley, who provides one of the most wooden performances I’ve heard in years!

Tom asserts that his books aren’t really science fiction, because they happen to be real: he’s only written three, but they all feature him and this “peculiar woman.” His travels aboard the bus ended ten years ago. Tom has a habit of getting terribly p***ed at events and public appearances, before returning home to complain about everything and his rubbish life!

◆ Panda

Pompous and arrogant, this talking build-a-bear plushie serves as Iris’ most loyal companion. David Benson delivers an excellent performance in this episode, and he’ll only improve as time goes on.

Panda objects to being referred to as a toy; he is actually an esteemed and respected expert on any number of subjects. He claims to be trained in jujitsu, and is quick to flirt with Tom’s editor.

◆ Incomprehensible Claptrap

‘Iris Wildthyme’ is definitely one of the more absurd spin-offs: the writers will seemingly try anything once. It wouldn’t surprise me if they all took several swigs of Absinthe before sitting down to write a script! This story is split into two parts, and I’ll try my best to explain exactly what happens.

Tom and Panda attempt to deal with a strange publishing house named Satan and Satan, which couldn’t be given a less subtle name if you tried. Meanwhile, Iris goes gallivanting with a man claiming to be Robin Hood… who is actually working for a giant talking head on a spike, that’s supposedly a creature from a higher plain of existence!

Paul Magrs has done his best to make an incredibly barmy adventure, but gone several steps too far, resulting in something completely incoherent. I found myself skipping back and forth throughout the episode to see if I’d missed scenes: I was totally lost.

◆ Lacking a Sense of Humour

Put simply, this script isn’t funny: there’s the odd innuendo, but it just expects you to laugh at the utter insanity going on in the story. A total mess, but I would still rather listen to this than ‘Heroes of Sontar’ again.

◆ Sound Design

Joseph Fox previously worked on ‘Something Inside’: a dull adventure that did nothing but rip-off the classic indie horror film Cube. The soundscape for this episode manages to be dull and uninspired, and unfortunately for us, Fox worked on both titles in Series One.

Tom is applauded by a bustling crowd at the launch party for his latest book. Punters at an Italian restaurant chow down on pizza. Robin Hood and his Merry Men break into the restaurant and perform a hold up, their horses neighing away. Police turn up at the restaurant, their sirens emitting a hi-lo signal in the background. Panda performs classical music whilst deep in contemplation. Birds tweet around a crackling fire, as one of Robin’s merry men plays the lute. Trickling water in a dank underground cell. The voice of the Head bellows like some sort of deity. It’s clearly voiced by Stephen Chance: I know the voice of Nimrod too well.

◆ Conclusion

“I can trust you with my life, and all my secrets!”

I utterly adore Iris – which I made clear during my review of ‘The Wormery’ – but her spin-off started on such an underwhelming note. There are elements of a decent adventure here, buried under the incomprehensible plot and the crap jokes, but the execution is atrocious.

Tom sticks out like a sore thumb throughout the episode too. He has all the personality of an ironing board!