Doctor Who – The Ninth Doctor Chronicles

#1.02. The Window on the Moor ~ 5/10

◆ An Introduction

People tend to believe that the celebrity historicals – where the Doctor encounters a famous figure from history and confronts something relating to their work – are an invention of the revival. Said people have clearly forgotten about ‘Timelash’. This is completely understandable, however, given that said script was the written equivalent of watching paint dry for ninety minutes.

Charles Dickens has encountered gaseous beings during the festive season; Agatha Christie solved a murder mystery involving a giant alien wasp; and let’s not forget the utterly heartbreaking ‘Vincent and the Doctor’.

Now it’s time for the least known of the Brontë sisters to feature in a celebrity historical… which also means I can quote this!

“Out on the wiley, windy moors
We'd roll and fall in green
You had a temper like my jealousy
Too hot, too greedy
How could you leave me
When I needed to possess you?
I hated you, I loved you, too…”

◆ Publisher’s Summary

Emily and her sisters once told each other fables of warring kingdoms: wicked princes, noble dukes, and their battling armies. Now she wanders the moors of her childhood alone, remembering those tales. The TARDIS arrives amid a strange civil war, with prisons made of glass and cities stalked by terrifying beasts. As windows open between worlds, stories and storyteller meet, and Rose comes face to face with Emily Brontë.

◆ The Ninth Doctor

The previous episode was so mediocre that I found myself struggling to find anything worth writing about in my review. I would say that Una McCormack offers us something more imaginative, but her characterisation of the Doctor was frankly bland and forgettable.

This is going to sound incredibly insulting, but why does this impersonation sound like Barney the Dinosaur is behind the microphone? I honestly think Briggsy is pitching his voice too low, which completely breaks my immersion. The accent was also quite shaky; often sounding more like Yorkshire than Mancunian.

Helping people escape is what he does; he turns up and he helps people. The Doctor believes that everybody is important.

◆ Rose Tyler

Other reviews have praised the amount of good material given to Rose, which made me seriously wonder if I was listening to the wrong episode; all that personality from the character’s other appearances has vanished. She spends the entire runtime chasing after a random side character.

This impersonation wasn’t great, and I don’t think anyone expected it would be. The fake cockney accent sounds like something you would hear in an amateur dramatics performance of Mary Poppins!

The Doctor describes her as being mouthy, but means well. Rose claims to move around a lot, so she doesn’t always hear the news. Maybes she’ll read Wuthering Heights one day.

◆ The Glass Town Game

Inside a small Yorkshire parsonage, the siblings of the Brontë family have invented a game called Glass Town, where their toy soldiers fight Napoleon and no one died. This make-believe land helps the four escape from a harsh reality: Charlotte and Emily are being sent away to a dangerous boarding school.

This episode focuses on a planet locked in civil war. Duke Alexandro’s people are stepping through interdimensional windows in order to escape the fighting; one of these windows leads to mid-nineteenth century Yorkshire, where Emily Brontë finds herself wandering the moors of her childhood. Science-fantasy is something that this franchise does very well, so it saddens me that so many writers shy away from it.

I’m sure that some of you will be confused as to why I’ve given this episode such a low rating, because the concept is clearly one I’m enthusiastic about. This leads me neatly onto my biggest issue, and that’s the pacing. Una McCormack hit upon a gold mine of ideas when she decided to take inspiration from the Glass Town Game, so I’m astounded that this episode ended up being one of the most boring things I’ve listened to in quite some time. I’m desperately in need of something entertaining and fast-paced, which gives me the perfect excuse to rewatch Helluva Boss once I finish writing this review!

◆ Sound Design

A city made of dark metal and glass. It’s a description that conjures up images of great obsidian spires casting imposing shadows, but how can you bring such a visual location to life in the realm of audio?

The sound effects here are used very sparingly to create an intoxicating atmosphere. One scene springs to mind where the Doctor is locked in a dungeon, and all you can hear is his voice echoing off the glass walls. Less is more in the case of this soundscape. Joe Meiners has done a terrific job.

◆ Music

An ethereal and dreamy score that perfectly matches the setting. It’s subtle, but highly effective.

◆ Conclusion

“Follow me to victory. In this world, the next, and a thousand worlds beyond!”

Duke Alexandro’s people are stepping through interdimensional windows in order to escape their civil war; one of these windows leads to mid-nineteenth century Yorkshire, where Emily Brontë finds herself wandering the moors of her childhood…

I expected that a script taking inspiration from the rather unknown Glass Town Game would be ethereal and moody, but all that potential has been wasted. Instead, we’re treated to the slowest pacing known to mankind and an adventure seriously lacking in actual depth.

The acting was pretty atrocious too. Rose could easily be replaced by any girl with attitude and a cockney accent, whilst the Doctor sounds like he is being voiced by Barney the Dinosaur!

I considered giving up on this range altogether, because the quality seems to be severely lacking, but I’m holding out hope that the James Goss script will be well worth the wait.