😵2/10 = ALMOST UNBEARABLE!

Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time!

A VASELINE-INDUCED FEVER DREAM!

Plastic mega ants and humanoid butterfly creatures in a barren alien world, controlled by a scary voice—surely that is a timeless classic we're all happy exists in its glorious entirety for future generations to behold?

Well, yes and no!

I'm happy to see that there's time devoted at the start of the infamous The Web Planet to some character moments, such as the lovely little scene between Barbara and Vicki in Part 1.

The opening episode is still somewhat good, maintaining a healthy amount of mystery and suspense. It is after that that things start going downhill, as the narrative turns confusing, weird, and, worst of all, hopelessly dull.

There is excessively much filler material and not enough of a plot to carry six 25-minute episodes. By the end of the second episode, the story still hasn't reached a point where there is an actual problem to solve or a bad guy to defeat. Parts 3 to 5 are the ones that drag the most (and it seems as if the plot barely develops an inch during this time), so by the time we reach the final episode, most of us have stopped caring.

The terrible pacing and the lack of any sort of engaging plot are what kill this story completely. Every conversation feels pointless, and the constant mindless running back and forth between different corners of the Vortis set turns tiresome very quickly.

The Web Planet builds its narrative upon silly 60s sci-fi concepts (those strange breathing jackets that appear in Part 1 and then never again, or the bracelet business with Barbara) and ideas so ambitious that they fall flat on a shoestring budget. Hidden under all the bizarreness is a Terry Nation-esque plot of a "war" between two factions, a traditional story type for Doctor Who, but it never feels like the focal point of the narrative, because it is so lost in its concept and execution.

The cliffhangers are lousy, except for the final one in Part 5, and there are long sequences of nothing but terrible beeping sounds and alien characters walking around aimlessly—great TV!

The Doctor Who production crew should be commended for daring to boldly try something as ambitious and high-concept sci-fi as The Web Planet. This is another example of how the show kept reinventing itself and experimenting with different story types in its early days, usually with varied success.

The production values are high for a 1960s BBC production, and there is an eerie, alien quality to the planet Vortis, coming from the barren landscapes, the strange sound design, and the infamous Vaseline-powered lens flair, making everything on Vortis look like it's pulled from a dream.

The alien sound design is painful to sit through (you'll likely have a headache after finishing Part 6).

The regulars do well with the little material they have to work with. Granted, they don't get a lot of opportunities to showcase their acting talent since the guest cast isn't very talkative.

Barbara never gets anything proper to do, vanishes completely in Part 3 (as Jacqueline Hill was on holiday), and then spends the rest of the story waiting for Strutton to wrap the story up.

Maureen O'Brien is either hopelessly lost when left alone or so strongly joined at the Doctor's hip that Vicki doesn't receive the treatment she is worthy of as the newest companion.

Too bad Strutton fails to make any of the guest cast even remotely interesting or memorable, so I couldn't care less for their troubles.

The strange butterfly creatures known as Menoptra have a strange and unnerving alien quality to them. They are generally well-realised, and their combined voices, speech patterns, and movements make them feel otherworldly. The actors inside the Menoptra suits do a generally good job, considering what is required of them.

We see the Menoptra fly in Part 4; this is a very well-made sequence that looks incredible, so a huge shoutout to whoever designed and realised it.

I have to admit that the Animus (the first of many powerful, mind-controlling evils on the show) is a good concept, with a chilling vocal performance provided by Catherine Fleming. The villain, unfortunately, remains underutilised, as Strutton crams the Zarbi into every single dangerous situation, despite the creatures being annoying rather than dangerous or terrifying. And when we finally get to meet the Animus at the end of the serial, she turns out to be utterly disappointing. I wish they had kept her as a voice instead.

The giant ant-like Zarbi are, well, laughably bad and nowhere near Dalek-levels of iconic (which is why we've never seen them again). The less said about the Optera, the better. The sets sometimes look very fake (such as the Carsinome, what in the name of ugliness is that supposed to represent?), depending on the chosen camera angle, and then we of course have the infamous Zarbi actors bumping into the camera (although, with that terrible costume design, it's no wonder that it's difficult to walk in them!). The weird lens flare effect is overused from time to time, making it difficult to see what's going on.

The Web Planet is an example of Doctor Who trying to take too big of a bite of the cake and attempt something it doesn't quite have the resources to realise convincingly.

RANDOM OBSERVATIONS:

"Come on, drop this hairdryer or whatever it is!" must be the funniest meta-line William Hartnell has ever dropped on the show.