Thworping through time and space, one adventure at a time! 

“THE TIME CROCODILE – CHOOSE YOUR OWN DISAPPOINTMENT”

The Time Crocodile, the third instalment in the Decide Your Destiny series, attempts to offer younger Doctor Who fans the thrill of crafting their own adventure alongside the Tenth Doctor and Martha. Unfortunately, it ends up being more of a limp shuffle through a bland alien zoo than a thrilling journey through space and time. Penned by Colin Brake, this entry continues the trend of these books offering minimal interactivity, wafer-thin storytelling, and only a vague sense of danger or excitement.

You begin—as in all entries in the series—aboard the TARDIS, where you’re given the illusion of choice as you step into a new adventure. But within a few pages, it becomes clear that your decisions don’t really matter. Branches frequently converge again, differences between choices are cosmetic at best, and the scenes are so short they barely develop anything before you're off to the next one.

A ZOO OF MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

The core setting—an alien zoo filled with shape-shifting humanoid animals—has promise. A place that could offer strange creatures, ethical dilemmas, or tense chases through bizarre enclosures is instead rendered completely inert. The zoo never feels alive, mysterious, or threatening. Its inhabitants are never more than a passing curiosity, and their human-like traits deflate any sense of wonder. The potential for a Doctor Who-style commentary on captivity, evolution, or species relations is completely untouched.

Instead, you're left with dull corridors, flat interactions, and a vague sense of something sinister happening… somewhere off-screen. It’s all atmosphere with no payoff.

TIM E. CROCODILE: WHO APPROVED THIS?

Let’s talk about that title. “The Time Crocodile” sounds like it could be terrifying or mysterious. But when that’s shortened to Tim E. Crocodile, a name that sounds like it belongs on a children's puppet show rather than a Doctor Who antagonist, it becomes instantly farcical. And the story's big “reveal”—that Tim, and indeed all the zoo's animals, are actually humanoid shape-shifters—manages to be both mildly clever and utterly deflating. It sucks the magic and danger out of what could have been a very fun concept.

Depending on your choices, Tim can be your friend or your enemy, which is the book’s one real point of replay value. But he never becomes much more than a novelty either way. Whether he's growling at you menacingly or offering you help, there's no real emotional investment in how your relationship develops. The shapeshifter twist ends up feeling more like a budget-saving device than a plot development.

DOCTOR LIGHT, MARTHA EVEN LIGHTER

The Tenth Doctor is, as expected, the star of the show—but only when the book allows him to be. He’s written in a way that approximates David Tennant’s energy and quirks, but he’s often sidelined depending on the reader’s path. Martha fares even worse. She’s barely present in most versions of the narrative, and even when she is, she contributes very little. She’s unfortunately reduced to background noise rather than a companion with agency, echoing a problem the TV series occasionally flirted with during her run.

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE…

One of the book’s more (accidentally) hilarious quirks is the strange emphasis on a water machine. You can spend multiple sections simply sipping water, debating whether to go after the Doctor or enjoy your hydration break. It’s a moment so banal that it loops back around to being memorable, if only because it perfectly encapsulates how little there is to actually do in this adventure. This is the interactive equivalent of watching someone else drink from a cooler.

NO BITE, NO TEETH, JUST A DULL SNAP

While the Decide Your Destiny format is aimed at a younger audience, that shouldn’t excuse a lack of imagination or narrative drive. Kids' stories can be smart, thrilling, and emotionally rich (The Sarah Jane Adventures proved this week in, week out). But The Time Crocodile is about as low-effort as interactive fiction gets. Even the basic mechanics of choice are undermined by circular plots and meaningless decisions. There's no thrill in navigating it because there are no real stakes.

📝 VERDICT: 33/100

The Time Crocodile promises a zany alien zoo adventure but delivers a bland, repetitive trudge through an underwritten setting populated by unremarkable characters and one of the most groan-worthy villain names in Doctor Who history. The choices are shallow, the pacing is broken into forgettable fragments, and neither the Doctor nor Martha feel integral to the plot. Even for younger readers, this lacks bite, spark, or substance. The only destiny you’re deciding here is whether to stop reading and get a glass of water instead.