The Monthly Adventures #001 - "The Sirens of Time" by Nicholas Briggs

Recently, I got a very stupid idea. What if I were to listen and review every single audio in the Monthly Range? All 275, over £2000 needed to get them all, what if I just sat down and started slowly working my way through them. It was a dumb idea and for some reason I’m still doing it. So, as I go from some of the greatest works in Doctor Who to stories dreaded by the entire fandom, join me for a titanic amount of reviews that will take years to complete because ADHD and my bank won’t let me do it in one go. What is possibly the greatest run of stories in Doctor Who had to begin somewhere, and that somewhere was The Sirens of Time, a multi-doctor story that is renowned for falling short of being a good opener.

Gallifrey is under attack, and the cause of this destruction? The Doctor, three of him, actually. But as an omnipotent being follows the traveller throughout the vortex, a trio of threats promise to end his lives.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

Starting such a massive, influential series was always going to be a tall task, and I really can’t say that The Sirens of Time manages it. It’s pretty harmless fun, the final part is easily the best with Davison, Baker and McCoy all playing off each other quite well but it’s undeniable that the story is a mess of different plots unable to settle on a core concept. As a pilot, it’s pretty good; it sets up some later stories, introduces the three main Doctors that we will be following throughout the range and shows off its mission statement nicely, even if the story fumbles the ball. However, the reveal of Elenya/Helen/Ellie/Lyena being the same person was a twist that genuinely got me the first time I listened to the story years back, so I will give it props for that.

However, everybody is painfully aware of the story's shortcomings. Composed of four small stories that are each relegated to one part, none of the settings or characters are well explored and most of the plot threads fall flat, all lacking actual content with nothing to do in them but wait for the next part so we can eventually reach the ending. Big Finish would do more well defined anthology releases later on down the line but here, they really didn’t organise it well. A glaring issue that damages the whole audio is the performances. Davison and Baker are both pretty good, they’d have more impressive performances later on but there’s nothing wrong with their material here. However, somebody put sleeping pills in McCoy’s coffee the day he recorded his lines and subsequently, he was falling asleep throughout the entire script, giving a decidedly sleepy performance that fails to impress. And whilst I have levelled praise at the final part for having the movement the glacial first three parts lacked, it doesn’t exactly dazzle you either. The Sirens are pretty lacklustre villains that have a great concept behind them but are ultimately unexplored, beaten by the pushing of a button - really, their greatest strength was Mowat’s performance.

The Sirens of Time is a hot but slightly loveable mess that does well introducing us to the Monthly Range and all its ups and downs but literally nothing else past that. A couple poor performances and a really vacuous plot that trudges around empty areas for ages puts a massive damper on my first of 275 stories (why do I do these things to myself?). Honestly, the best bit is a pre-Evelyn Maggie Stables doing an old hag voice, which is incredibly funny with context.

5/10

Pros:

+ Typical fun multi-doctor shenanigans

+ Harmless opener that does well setting up the Monthly Range and what it’s about

+ The reveal that Elana/Helen/Ellie/Lyena were all the same person is genuinely quite good

Cons:

- None of the stories last long enough for you to get invested in them and a mostly aimless wandering around a plot-shaped absence

- The vocal performances of our main cast isn’t as good as it will be, especially with McCoy

- The Sirens are a somewhat underdeveloped antagonist