Okay, this is literally the worst rating I've given so far for a story, so I feel that I have to justify it slightly. But, let's start with the (very few) things that I enjoyed:

• Jodie Whittaker's cameo was nice, and somehow gave her more personality than in half of series 11.
• The soundtrack was pretty good, and wasn't overly bombastic (like with some of Murray's other scores... Series 5, I'm looking at you).
• More Cherry Sunday. Always a positive.

And now... to discuss the mess that was the actual plot.

The Rani(s)

Firstly, the Rani was criminally underused. At least she wasn't just a Missy copy, like some people were worried about. Her plan actually made some sense. But (unlike with the end of Wish World) she did not feel threatening at all, and just teleports away, never to be seen again. Mrs Flood's subservience to the Panjabi Rani never becomes relevant - I know it's in character for the Rani to see a future self as superior, but for Mrs Flood to just accept that? I'm not buying it. We don't get an explanation for the fourth wall breaks, which I'm not too annoyed about, but still a slight negative.

Rani's plan isn't that bad, all things considered. She retains her scientific nature, which was her entire motif, and the desire to rebuild Gallifrey is good. I'll admit, when she began talking about how Time Lords are sterile, I thought RTD was going to canonise looms, but it seems like this was an after-effect of the Master's genocide, so never mind. But, given that the Rani claims that extinction is slow, which implies that the Time Lords are dying out from a birth rate of 0, I've now got more questions about how exactly the genocide worked? But then again, maybe I'm just reinterpreting the dialogue.

But... the section where she met the Doctor in UNIT tower felt like a bit too much exposition. The Rani feels like a character that should cut to the chase maybe slightly more quickly - just 30 or so seconds faster, not much. Stopping to claim that Time Lords are above humans is very fitting, to be fair.

The Gods

Omega is, somehow, even worse used. Another CGI monster - which, to be fair, looks decent - which is easily beaten, and poses no real threat. Hell, I don't think he even fully crawled out of his coffin. For a being claiming to be the "God of Time", it doesn't feel too appropriate. I'd like to add that in what I saw of Omega in Classic (I have only seen him in the Three Doctors. I know he appears in Arc of Infinity, so if this changes with the context of that story, then this is invalid), Omega was treated with some reverence by the Time Lords, although that might have changed after they discovered that he was trying to destroy the main universe. That side of his reputation... is pretty much ignored.

The baby god of wishes, also, feels kind of wasted. Does nothing apart from being kissed on the forehead. I feel like they could have done more, but there was too much in the episode already, so I don't really know how to feel. The idea that it is a baby feels relevant to the themes of the episode, and I feel like a lot more could have been done, if the fat was just trimmed a bit (like, did we need 5 minutes of the Doctor hugging UNIT members? Really?)

The Poppy Storyline

And... Poppy. A major part of the episode. So, the baby itself. Firstly, the idea of Poppy being the child of Belinda and the Doctor is not the best. I've never liked the idea of Doctor-companion romance, and even if this did arise from an imagined romance, the idea doesn't stick well with me. I will say this, the idea can be tolerable (like with Rose - I didn't fully like it, but I could accept that it made for a good story) if the writers fully commit. Which RTD certainly did not do so here.

My dislike of the storyline is somewhat offset by the fact that the only thing that actually exists is the baby, not the romance itself, which isn't too bad, all things considered. Of course, the Doctor could never settle down and have a normal life, so the "dying" of Poppy is understandable. But no, this isn't my problem with the episode.

My problem is (almost) entirely Belinda. The only other thing annoying me about Poppy is the scene when Ruby, Belinda, the Doctor and Poppy are all in the TARDIS. Firstly, we have the Doctor and Belinda talking about taking Poppy around the universe. Doesn't feel right, given that the universe is full of Daleks and many, many other things that could easily kill a baby. And for those saying that Belinda and the Doctor do not have a romantic relationship, rewatch this scene. Their dynamic has switched from reluctant companions/friends to young couple in love. Of course, this is intentional - the scene is meant to feel off, like something is wrong. But RTD doesn't fully commit - we have young couple in love, to just friends (and no Poppy), to friends (with Poppy). Too much switching, in too little time.

And also, that scene where Ruby started freaking out? Started off really good, a nice way to show what was happening. Excellent camera work and acting. But then the Doctor just... ignores Ruby? Continues talking with Belinda, and at times, is just ignoring Ruby's existence. Like, come on, a brilliant scene, only to be ruined. And then, Russel keeps on writing, and we get a messy section to bring Poppy back. On its own, it isn't too bad, but the changes it forces on Belinda, and the fact that it ruins what could have been a beautiful moment at the end? Just leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Also, Belinda's only function in this entire episode is motherhood. At the end, we see time changing, where she has been a mother all along. But... that doesn't fit with what we've seen of Belinda? The only time we see her interact with the ideas of a traditional gender role for women is with Alan, where she rejects them (and even this is a stretch). We don't see any hints that she might want to be a mother one day, or that she has a lover back home (no, a person she met on Hinge doesn't count. If anything, that makes the mention of Ritchie even worse). It just feels like it's pulled out of thin air. At least with the Doctor, the mentions of Susan over the past 2 seasons have implied that he would like a family one day, but it's not really something solid that a plot arc like this can be built on.

Even during the episode, Belinda's role is to sit with Poppy. It cuts to them in the Zero room, and it felt so jarring that I literally laughed out loud. I don't think that was the intention there. Given that this is Poppy, from Space Babies, it feels like Belinda's role was written for Ruby, and was hastily rewritten. Throughout this whole series, Belinda has been given so little of a character, that we can't even call it character assassination when her entire identity becomes centred around Poppy.

And also, Poppy? From Space Babies? How many people actually remembered her? Based on my very little anecdotal evidence (which, to be fair, is only like 3 data points), not many did. Again, feels too random. A slight problem with this whole era as a whole - I like most of the individual episodes, but certain elements just feel like they were pulled out of thin air (like some of the gods).

And finally...

The Regeneration

An entire regeneration just to recreate Poppy feels wasted. Like I said, I like the fact that the Doctor tries to bring back Poppy - even if it does ruin the beautiful scene with Ruby that came before, it does fit him. But the regeneration was unnecessary.

Like I said, I liked Jodie's cameo. Apparently this was in the leaks, and I'm very glad that I avoided it.

But... Billie Piper. I'll admit, Rose wasn't my favourite companion, and especially given that we just brought back an old face from the RTD1 era, this feels completely stupid. Some people have pointed out that the "Introducing Billie Piper" section in the credits didn't include "As the Doctor", so we'll see if that culminates in anything, but right now, it just doesn't work for me. Also slightly cheapened by the leaks - this one was impossible to avoid, being absolutely everywhere, on Reddit especially: in the titles of posts; in the middle of a "spoiler-free" thread, etc. Not the fault of the episode, but slightly cheapened the surprise. Also, BBC News spoiled the regeneration itself - was about to click on iPlayer to watch the episode when I saw that headline, and even though Billie wasn't mentioned, it did pretty much confirm the leak. Oh well.

Also, 18 episodes is too few for Fifteen. Nine had even less, and that was also a crime, but at least he had an actual character arc to go along with it. We've barely got to know Fifteen, to see what makes him tick, and I feel slightly disappointed that he hasn't even faced any of the classic 3 villains (Cybermen, Daleks, Master). Of course, he isn't the first Doctor to be missing at least one, and we did get plenty of returning villains, but... still. Even without them, Fifteen could have done so much more.

Minor Stuff that Also Appeared

Rogue. As I mentioned, this is a fairly full episode, and he definitely shouldn't have appeared. But there is no explanation for how he could have contacted the Doctor in Wish World. Not really something that affects my opinion of this episode, but retroactively makes the overall finale slightly worse. But, not a major grievance.

Anita was a nice character, but she doesn't get much to do here. Slightly disappointing. I feel like her pregnancy was meant to tie into the themes of the episode a bit, but it didn't really work for me. Nothing terrible, but just fell flat.

Conrad's story was kinda neat - we could have used more exploration of his flaws, and how he feels lonely, how his life of hate has affected him, etc. We see hints of this both in this episode and in Wish World, but it isn't explored fully, and feels like lost potential. Still, his ending was kind of fitting, even if Ruby didn't hit him, like she asked. (Tangentially, that was a neat little exchange).

Overall

There were one or two interesting ideas. Unfortunately, they weren't even developed enough to make me mourn the episode that could have been. Instead, we got a rushed mess that focused on all the wrong plot beats, with maybe 5-10 minutes of neat moments sprinkled in between. Almost everyone was criminally underused. 1/10.