Doctor Who – The Lost Stories

#1.01. The Nightmare Fair ~ 6/10

◆ An Introduction

RTD’s decision to resurrect the Celestial Toymaker for the 60th anniversary was honestly inspired. He’s one of the most creative villains in the show’s long-running history, treating everyone as pawns in his twisted games. But there were plans to bring him back during the mid 1980s too!

Before that prat, Michael Grade, put the show on hiatus – leading to the conception of ‘The Trial of a Time Lord’ and the eventual sacking of Colin Baker – plans were well underway for Season 23. Grand adventures were being written that would take the Doctor and Peri from contemporary Singapore to the far-off world of Magnus, but most of these stories would never see the light of day.

Written by former series producer Graham Williams, ‘The Nightmare Fair’ was set to open the season. A reunion between the Doctor and the Toymaker, set against the backdrop of Blackpool Pleasure Beach…

Time for one final game!

◆ Publisher’s Summary

The TARDIS has been drawn to Blackpool in the year 1985, where the Doctor intends to investigate a dangerous space/time vortex… while enjoying some local attractions along the way. But an old enemy is watching from his base deep within the amusement park, a timeless being who craves revenge.

The Celestial Toymaker has returned. The game is on. And, should he lose, the Doctor will pay the ultimate forfeit…

◆ The Sixth Doctor

I think most of us have become so accustomed to the mellowed out persona he’s adopted in the audio adventures that we’ve forgotten what a smug [REDACTED] this incarnation used to be! I honestly never had a problem with this version of the character and, bearing in mind when this script was written, it would be fair to say that Graham Williams did a fine job.

Colin Baker delivered a marvellous performance in ‘The Nightmare Fair’. Just listening to him exchange dialogue with David Bailie was massively entertaining, as they clearly had excellent on-air chemistry. Such a shame the actual material ended up having all the merit of a fart in a hurricane!

You can’t come to Blackpool and not go up Blackpool Tower! There’s nowhere else like it, nowhere in this galaxy anyway. They’re trying to build one out on the rim of the Crab Nebula, but the design concept is all wrong: they’re trying to build it for a purpose, something he clearly disapproves of. You can’t build a place like this for a mere purpose! Oh, don’t talk to him of fluid lines provoked by the ergonomic imperatives, or the strict adherence to the symbolic form, classical use of conceptual space: designer’s gobbledegook and architect's flimflam! The Doctor describes Blackpool Pleasure Beach as perfection; as genius; as classic frivolity. He could never understand all those sea-and-sand places Peri was talking about; taking a bath in sodium chloride and then wallowing on a bed of mica crystals? Extraordinary way to behave! Add to that long term exposure to ultraviolet, and you go a long way towards explaining the basic irrationality of the human race.

◆ Peri Brown

BigFinish have massively expanded upon the role the companion plays within their adventures, and nowhere is that more obvious than with Peri. One of my absolute favourite audios – ‘The Reaping’ – puts her at the forefront of events, delving deep into her backstory and giving her some emotionally harrowing scenes. Considering these scripts were made for television, I can’t really expect the same degree of depth with the companions… but Christ almighty, I expected her to do more than wander around an amusement park with some random pillock!

Since the script has her doing diddly squat, Nicola Bryant could easily have phoned in her performance for ‘The Nightmare Fair’, so credit where it’s due for still putting on a great show.

◆ Master of the Game

This adventure was intended to be the grand return of the Celestial Toymaker, though considering Michael Gough was in his nineties by the time this adaptation was produced, a recast was required.

David Bailie stepped into the role for ‘The Nightmare Fair’, and successfully put his own stamp on the character. He played the Toymaker as someone that’d been bored senseless by eternity, dreaming up deadly games to wile away the aeons. Prone to mood swings when things weren’t going his way, he also came across as a petulant and spoilt brat most of the time! Old beyond imagining, he would play games with his own past to ensure that his origins were shrouded in mystery.

Other versions of this character have been something of a mixed bag. Gough came across as monotone and boring. As for the most recent performer… there are only so many times you can hear Patrick Harris chanting “Und now everybody loves the balls!” before wanting to chuck a brick through your television! Bailie managed to find the perfect middle ground with his portrayal of the Toymaker, making him my personal favourite in the role… damn, I guess this means I have to check out ‘Solitaire’ now.

◆ Sound Design

Any adventure set amongst the attractions of Blackpool Pleasure Beach should feature a stunning soundscape. Then you realise that said locale is quickly thrown out the window, because the story wants to spend most of its runtime milling about the Toymaker’s nondescript factory!

The Toymaker’s laugh echoes through the amusements as he taunts another innocent that’s fallen foul of his games. Tacky fairground music drifts throughout the Pleasure Beach whilst seagulls squawk above the pier. A cackling electronic laugh can be heard coming from the ghost train, which actually reminds the Doctor of Mr Sin! Bleeping equipment from within the Toymaker’s factory. Peri lets out an adrenaline filled screech as she rides one of the many roller coasters. Spacey music emanates from the Galactic Adventure ride. The sound of game over during the Toymaker’s arcade game… resulting in the death of Yatsumoto.

◆ Music

Jamie Robertson transports us back to the mid 1980s by ramming a load of harsh synthesisers into his score.

There were several moments where the music reminded me of the ominous sewer scenes from ‘Attack of the Cybermen’ – which I rewatched only a few days ago now. Unfortunately, there’s no jazzy Lytton theme to be found in this adventure…

◆ Conclusion

“I detest caging even the wildest beast, Toymaker, but for you there is no other answer.”

The Toymaker has constructed his own arcade cabinet and plans on shipping it worldwide, but not before having one final game with his old opponent in Blackpool…

After spending thirty minutes milling around the Pleasure Beach and taking in the atmosphere, we switch locations to the Toymaker’s factory… and the entire story grinds to a halt as a result. There are sporadic mentions of the arcade cabinet being constructed, but the majority of the runtime is focused on the Doctor and Peri being locked in a cell with two comic relief characters and a growling monster!

What a tremendous mistake to review this story at midnight, when I’m desperate for my comfy pillows and some relaxing ASMR. I’m likely to fall asleep at my keyboard discussing something as boring as ‘The Nightmare Fair’!