The Monthly Adventures #064 - “The Next Life" by Gary Russell & Alan Barnes

The Divergence Arc was a very strange thing. This little island in the world of post-Zagreus Main Range that never really felt wholly unique or worthy of its runtime. Apparently, this arc was meant to go on for far longer than it did and judging by how hard they struggled to make it work, I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed they didn’t give it another shot. Either way, it all ended up here: The Next Life. An intimidatingly long finale that has to wrap up the poorly conceived threads of the Divergence Arc? It was certainly not dealt a good hand, but it's how you use the cards I suppose. So, does The Next Life work as a satisfying conclusion? Let’s see.

Finally reunited with his TARDIS, the Doctor is quickly thrown off course again when he and his companions are stranded on a mysterious planet central to the Divergent Universe’s mythology - a world where great evils lie and the secret of time is kept.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

Was there really any possibility the Divergence Arc would end well? In reality, I don’t think The Next Life is quite as bad as I’m going to make it out to be, it tries some neat things and there’s probably worse stuff in other, similar stories but it’s just too incompetent for me to care. Also, it’s three hours long, which, without the innate zaniness of Zagreus helping it, just makes it a slog to get through. Firstly, I should probably say that it functions well enough as a closer to the Divergence; for a season so poorly communicated and held together, The Next Life actually does manage to bring it to a head with all mysteries decently explained and concluded, the nature of the “timeless universe” finally revealed to us as… not timeless. Granted, the explanation of a universe that constantly repeats and loops is interesting but it isn’t what we were promised and was explored better in The Last (which didn’t even explore it that well in the first place).

As for the story itself, there’s very little to write home about but I will say that the setting and central mystery, regarding the nature of the planet that ends the universe’s loop is enough to keep the story moving and is even relatively creepy at times, especially during the explanation that keeps flipping between narrators (the most ambitious this audio ever gets). It’s not much but as a foundational (heh.) element to build off of, it does well.

Which is where we run into a problem. The Next Life is a story that really does nothing for me, in nearly every way. You know it’s a stinker when the only positives I can pull out of the air are could’ve-beens. I guess I should start with my main issue which is that The Next Life is booooring. It’s so unbelievably f**king boring, three hours of derivative mess with abysmal pacing that never seems to be trying anything interesting. We have a point A and a point B and Russel & Barnes spend the next six parts just trying to fill the void. Whilst The Creed of the Kromon is certainly more lacking in ideas, that at least had some charm and fun characters to pull you through but here, everything is fundamentally disappointing.

For one, every character is insufferable; yes, even our mains. Charley and C’rizz spend the entire audio squabbling because of some basic manipulation from Rassilon (it’s predictable, contrived, annoying and doesn’t go anywhere) and every side character begins slipping into melodrama the more the story goes on. Especially Charley, I have to say, who acts ridiculously out of character here, being childish and selfish without any of the charm or personality that makes her so likeable, which is very weird coming from the guy who created her. And C’rizz isn’t much better, flip-flopping between alliances inelegantly, made out to be an idiot and easily manipulated. I hate that these two are so forcibly at each other’s throats because their dynamic has to be my favourite part of this arc. 

As for our villains, all of them fail as interesting antagonists. We have no less than four threats here and each fizzle out for their own special reasons. C’rizz’s father is barely a presence and is only there to create a little more unnecessary drama between characters before being killed off. Keep and (especially) Perfection are just a chore to listen to, overacting pushed to the extreme in a way that makes both a complete joke instead of genuine threats, even with the mad-hat reveal that the former is Eight and Charley after getting merged in Scherzo. Rassilon is the only real character here who may be considered genuinely formidable but he’s quickly made a joke and sidelined when the script gets bored with him - it’s an embarrassing checklist of poorly done characters that really should’ve been cut down to a single antagonist.

Eventually, we get to our big climactic moment and it is, unsurprisingly, a let down. The Divergence was actually just Keep (sort of) and the universe is just going to reset again. Some basic and slightly dull shenanigans ensue, some interesting ideas are thrown around but not explored and the Doctor, Charley and C’rizz escape, but not before one of the hokiest emotional moments I’ve ever sat through. Our main trio literally stops the story to go “but we need to be friends again!” and then air out their differences in a scene containing all the tact of a Disney channel show. It’s very funny to me that Russell & Barnes wrote a completely unnecessary conflict and then couldn’t find an organic way to get out of it, so just had the characters literally explain their emotional arcs to the listener until we were back at status quo. It’s an incredibly disappointing end to this run and just leaves me mentally exhausted.

The Next Life was nothing special. However, it was nothing special for 180 minutes. Adding the fact that it was a season finale and this is a complete let down, with a by-the-numbers script stretched to infinity, poor character development and no less than four terrible villains. I am glad the Divergence Arc is over, the writers were clearly floundering and the well had run dry, but I’m also sad to see it end on such a dower note, especially when it contains a couple favourites of mine. Oh well, I’ll probably forget The Next Life in a week anyway, it’s one of those stories.

4/10

Pros:

+ Manages to somewhat conclude the loose, undefined plot threads running through the arc

+ Decently creepy and intriguing mystery

+ Tries to explore the mechanics of the Timeless Universe in an interesting way

Cons:

- Unnecessarily long and poorly paced

- Every villain was ineffective and each got progressively more insufferable as it went on

- Horribly generic and derivative script

- The jealous spats between Charley and C’rizz/Perfection are predictably annoying

- The whole first act is somewhat pointless

- Muddled and poor conclusion

- Poor characterisation and dialogue choices