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Review of The Long Despair by PalindromeRose

28 June 2024

The War Master: Solitary Confinement

#9.02. The Long Despair ~ 7/10


◆ An Introduction

How does it feel to be sailing in the open ocean, in the middle of nowhere? Some people would argue that it’s absolutely peaceful in terms of ones innermost self. There is the calming knowledge that the decisions you make in the morning will have a direct effect on whether you, and your little boat, will still be alive at the end of the day.

To quote Joseph Conrad, “the true peace of God starts anywhere a thousand miles from the nearest shore.”

An ocean paradise reduced to murky seas. Grab your life-jackets, because we’re going on a nautical adventure with the Master!


◆ Publisher’s Summary

On the ocean world of Mehr Kee, the Master enlists the help of a captain to voyage across its seas. Their target: a beacon on a distant isle, shining across the waves. But what deadly trials await?


◆ The War Master

I cannot think of anyone I would like to share a boat with less than the Master, especially in this incarnation. He would be the person that deliberately steered into choppy waters to make you feel sea-sick, and then laugh in your face about it. Failing that, he’d probably just turn you into giblets and feed you to an enormous seal! Surprisingly, the Master actually develops something of a rapport with his cabin buddy as they sail across the seven seas: had this review been a podcast, I would’ve started singing OMD by this point, so be thankful for small mercies! Some great material from Tim Foley.

I personally love the idea of sitting down to hear Sir Derek recount some maritime literature, then again, I would be just as entranced if he read the instruction manual for a flatpack wardrobe! ‘The Long Despair’ features an awful lot of narration, as the institutionalised Master discusses his exploits on Mehr Kee with what I assume is one of the orderlies. This wont be to everyone’s taste, but Jacobi really nailed his performance throughout.

There’s a leak in his cell. Bartholom sent someone to fix the pipe and he became quite aggressive. The Master was just warning them of the dangers: many have tried to cross the murky sea, many have failed. These waters have claimed the lives of thousands of souls, it is no mere puddle! Bartholom can see that he is clearly drawn to the water, and she wants to hear the story. Have you ever heard of the Mehr Kee? It’s an oceanic planet, very far from its star, so it’s nearly in constant darkness: black water in a backwater. The “Mehr Kee”, as in the murky sea. The play on words was definitely owned by the locals, and the waters certainly revelled in their dimness; their grimness. Any sort of nickname might suggest a fondness for the place, but there was no affection here, only the effected. Those that lived on what little landmass was there had salt in their lungs, hunger in their bellies, and a wildness in their eyes that even the Master can’t match. There were many who were drawn to their desolate sea, like lost souls drawn to the edge of cliffs: the Master supposes that he himself was lost, but whether he has a soul though is another composition. Surely it was obvious he wasn’t from round here the moment he arrived? He never belongs anywhere. The Master is intrigued by the Light, and would like to visit. He tells the Captain that he’s a dab hand at the mechanical. The first few days of their voyage were dull: the seas were calm, and the murmurings of the murky waters became a white noise that drowned out everything else. There was nothing, and sometimes he does well with nothing; Bartholom will have noticed him sitting very still in his cell, content with his own thoughts. Of course, there were moments during the voyage where the Master tried to occupy himself. He turned his hand to fishing, without success. He did a bit of reading by lantern light, and the sea spray became his bookmark: by the end of the novel, the tome was so wet he had no choice but to throw it away. It was an Earth classic – Moby Dick – and he can’t be the first person to have thrown that book in the sea! The Master believes it’s interesting how knowing someone’s motives makes someone smaller, like a ship in a bottle. It’s true that he likes to shrink things; to dominate them, to tower over them, so perhaps he was going to do this to the Captain. But he knew what drove him now.


◆ Suffering from the Maritime Blues

Considering how much I adored the first episode of ‘Solitary Confinement’, I wanted to know what my aforementioned friend on Twitter thought of the others. Her rating for this episode certainly wasn’t encouraging: she gave it a “genuinely forgot this story existed/10”.

‘The Long Despair’ is a character study that focuses entirely on our sea-faring guide to Mehr Kee: the Captain. His father went searching for the beacon many years ago and never returned. He made his mother a promise that he would never search for him within her lifetime: he scattered her ashes only a week prior to the events of this episode, and was preparing to set sail even before the Master joined his worn-out little boat.

My biggest issue with the Captain is that I found him totally uninteresting: that must be a cardinal sin for a character study. He spends the majority of the episode sulking aboard his boat, making it near impossible to like him. I also wasn’t a fan of Jason Flemyng’s performance, which is best described as wooden.


◆ Secret of the Beacon

Towards the end of this episode, it transpires that the Master and his sea-faring friend have travelled backwards in time, arriving on the island long before the temporal beacon was activated. This means they now have a choice: leave well alone and prevent an entire planet being damned, or switch it on so the Master can get his TARDIS back!

What a horrific twist of fate for the Captain, who must have realised he was witnessing the event that turned Mehr Kee into a desolate backwater. He was a shell of a man by this point in the voyage, and couldn’t stop the Master even if he wanted to.


◆ Sound Design

Ocean worlds produce some of the most relaxing soundscapes. My suggestion is that you close your eyes whilst listening to this episode: just listen to the water witches and the endless lapping of the waves.


◆ Music

The delicate pianos from the first episode take a back seat here, replaced by the strumming of an acoustic guitar. It’s something of a tranquil score; one you could imagine sailors playing to pass the time, out amongst the seven seas. Yet more impressive work from Robert Harvey.


◆ Conclusion

Wave farewell to the land, to the dry. Anchors away! And let’s hope we don’t die…”

A beacon has been causing problems on Mehr Kee for many years, and the Master has joined a grieving sea-captain who is prepared to sail straight there. They’ll encounter water witches and other trials along the way, but by the end of this journey, they’ll be forced to confront a terrifying choice!

Continuing our box set of character studies, ‘The Long Despair’ puts the focus squarely onto a man known only as the Captain. This salty old sea dog has been planning on sailing to the beacon ever since his father went missing, so he’s got no qualms in making the Master his cabin boy! There was real potential with this character: he could have been this charming old man armed with sea shanties, stories of mermaids, and two kegs full of white rum! Unfortunately, he is one of the most insufferably boring characters to have appeared in this range. The Captain has a really unpleasant attitude to him, so the episode doesn’t even give you a chance to like him.

I’ll admit to being somewhat worried when I saw Tim Foley’s name in the credits – his previous contributions to this range were part of the abysmal third set – but ‘The Long Despair’ was actually alright. I still think the Captain needs to grow a personality, but otherwise this was a genuinely fun little episode. It also reminded me of the hit OMD song Sailing on the Seven Seas, which has been blasting out of my headphones whilst I write this review.

Review created on 28-06-24