The Monthly Adventures #004 - "The Land of the Dead" by Stephen Cole

It’s no secret I have an affinity for snowy settings. The Thing is and probably always will be my favourite film of all time, the landscapes of snowy Antarctica or Alaska make for genius settings in anything from horrors to thrillers and there’s something so evocative about that endless, white nothing. So, reading the blurb for The Land of the Dead, set in an isolated, surreal house in the wastes of Alaska, I was incredibly excited for what surely had to be an atmospheric and unsettling outing for the Fifth Doctor. Turns out Stephen Cole missed the memo and instead wrote 2 hours of dull trudging around a decidedly uninteresting tundra.

Following a peculiar energy signature, the Doctor and Nyssa end up in the remote mansion of English oil baron Shaun Brett, where ravenous hybrid creatures and monsters from prehistory prepare to awaken from a very long sleep.

(CONTAINS SPOILERS)

The Land of the Dead, more than anything, disappointed me. It’s undeniably filled with some great ideas; as I mentioned before, I’m a huge fan of the setting, even if the atmosphere is barely utilised. The idiosyncrasies of Brett’s peculiar monument to his father - a house full of rooms themed to the surrounding environment - is a great background for our story and, if it had been done better, I can see it being a fantastic catalyst for some well done horror. On top of this, The Land of the Dead boasts some brilliant antagonists in the form of living fossils from the Permian era that rapidly evolve based on what they consume. Living fossils, on their own, is a great image, and I still don’t really know how The Land of the Dead makes it so very boring. Slightly helping my interest is our side cast, half of which are great. Quick-witted architect Lucy Campbell is a little too generic for my taste but the soft spoken, damaged Inuit assistant to Brett - Tulung - was excellently acted by Neil Roberts and was easily the best character here. I will note however that this story boasts Big Finish’s recurring issue of forced American accents, though I’m not too bothered by it.

I am bothered, however, by how utterly glacial this whole story is. It moves at a snail’s pace, the whole first part begins with the Doctor and Nyssa getting attacked by poorly-visualised hybrid creatures and then proceeds to wander aimlessly around Brett’s house for 25 more minutes without any care in the world, despite the rabid monsters outside. Past this, I just ended up losing interest. I listened to this audio about forty five minutes ago and I genuinely can’t remember the final part, because I’d tuned out by then. Although I praised part of our sidecast, our other half is less than stellar. My main problem lies in Brett himself, who feels like a one note evil rich stereotype who did not need to act as a very unnecessary secondary antagonist towards the end. As for the other characters, Nyssa is notably very dull here, Sarah Sutton is really not giving it her all for the sake of this script and apathetically delivers most of her lines. Really, The Land of the Dead’s biggest sin is wasting so many ideas. I love the setting and Tulung and the Permians but it’s stuck in Stephen Cole’s failed attempt at an icy chiller and frankly I’m just sad these ideas aren’t in a better story.

I heard it was bland, still got excited after reading the summary, and wasn’t too shocked to find it was, indeed, very bland. Boring and slow moving but unfortunately filled with ideas that have clearly come from better stories. Stephen Cole is a writer who I am yet to be impressed by, and this hasn’t helped him go up in my rankings.

4/10

Pros:

+ Great idea for a setting, Brett’s bizarre monument to his father is a very cool concept

+ The Permians made for incredibly interesting antagonists and had a great design

+ Tulung was easily the most likeable and interesting of the sidecast

Cons:

- Utter drag of a story that barely moves and just wallows in one spot for nearly two hours

- Brett is a thoroughly under characterised and an unneeded secondary antagonist

- Sarah Sutton’s acting is simply not up to scratch

- Utter wasted potential, filled with cool ideas that are stuck in a story as dead as the fossils featured in it