The Diary of River Song

#2.04. The Eye of the Storm ~ 8/10

◆ An Introduction

It’s curtains down for Series Two, and River has double trouble to deal with. I was really looking forward to this finale, to hear how the Speravore scheme would be dealt with.

This really wasn’t what I expected, by any means…

◆ Publisher’s Summary

The Great Storm of 1703 approaches. The fate of planet Earth hangs in the balance.

The only person who can save it is the Doctor. Or River Song. Or quite possibly another Doctor. Or maybe this whole situation is their fault in the first place.

Two Doctors. One River. An infinite number of ways to destroy the world. It’s going to be a bumpy ride…

◆ Prof. River Song

Alex Kingston gives a phenomenal performance in this finale.

She only has a matter of days to save the world, and she’s convinced that her husbands are causing the problem. River’s reason for trying to hijack the TARDIS is comfort over convenience… and because she needs it to fix the catastrophic dimensional slippage. Within seconds of meeting up with Ol’ Sixie, she’s accused of being a member of the Celestial Intervention Agency: an agent for the Time Lord President! She’s a scholar of the strange. River was pardoned herself, not that long ago, after a long period of confinement. She had around a dozen husbands at the last count. Some days she’s dreamed of having two Doctors to play with… but not Six and Seven! River tells Sarah her life story, because she can relate to someone that has essentially no free will – hoping that a solid life-story will convince her to erase herself from the timelines!

◆ The Sixth Doctor

Colin Baker does a fantastic job with the material in ‘The Eye of the Storm’.

He claims to be something of an expert in matters of the heart – yes, we all know how well your matchmaking went in ‘Arrangements for War’. The Doctor is quite the expert when it comes to matters interdimensional. Before having his memory wiped, he gets a loving kiss from his wife-to-be.

◆ The Seventh Doctor

‘The Eye of the Storm’ featured a fabulous performance from Sylvester McCoy.

He remembers every single victory over every single alien species, because he happens to keep a score card! His memories of what happened aboard the Saturnius in the warped timeline are not quite gone… which explains why he worryingly knows the name of his future wife! The Doctor believes only a fool goes blundering into history, hoping for the best. He’s decided to handcuff River to a table, and cites escapology as one of his favourite hobbies. Listening to the Doctor trying to decipher River’s identity is hilarious – at least he knows she isn’t mother! This slippery manipulator managed to dodge all River’s attempts to wipe his mind of her… so she just stuns him with her gun.

◆ Story Recap

Speravores feed on potential futures, decisions that were never made. That’s why their Queen has latched onto a young woman from the 18th century: she plans to feed on the potential future of her entire bloodline!

The only way to stop the Queen from taking complete control of her life – taking control of the lives of her lover and their family-to-be – is by convincing them to commit suicide… a task even the master manipulator himself couldn’t do. River steps in to have a chat with the doomed couple.

◆ Damsel in Distress

River spends half the runtime trying to convince both incarnations of her husband to assist her… only for both to be complete and utter morons: Seven decides to handcuff her to the inside of some MP’s house, getting her locked up for breaking and entering.

It’s a shame, because I wanted to spend more time getting to know Isaac and Sarah, especially before that brutal ending where they sacrifice themselves.

◆ Sound Design

The titular storm is fiercely battering London, something Howard Carter brought to life tremendously well.

The shaking of iron shackles as River is thrown into Newgate Prison. Rain pours down, and hurricane like winds batter London during the Great Storm. Sarah Dean’s house collapses around her, the wooden beams crumbling like dominoes. The Golden Futures space station continues to collapse around River. Speravore larvae squirm away in the remnants of the station, begging for more food. The voices of the Speravore are honestly disgusting – it’s like listening to an angry, snarling man have a rant whilst his mouth is full of noodles! An old-fashioned English tavern, filled with punters enjoying good meals and fine conversation.

◆ Conclusion

“I remember everything!”

The fate of the timeline hangs in the balance, as two planet Earths are suspended in the skies. The only way to stop the swarming of the Speravores is for River to convince a young couple to off themselves!

This was a weird finale. It begins like your standard River Song outing, with the multi-Doctor element shoe-horned in for good measure. Then things get really bleak and depressing towards the conclusion, as Sarah and Isaac prepare to sacrifice themselves.

Series Two has been a real treat though, and I’m honestly looking forward to the next set.