I am a horrible completionist.

This is one of the first things anyone who meets me will learn - I try to do everything. As a kid, I wanted to try every sport, win every competition, learn everything there was to know about the world - it's the ADHD, as I have now realised. It is, generally speaking, not a healthy way to live your life, and is something I have made great strides in changing about myself (though, the chronic fatigue did most of the work for me, if we're being honest). But, there is one stubborn shred of completionism left, and it will not let go - I have decided, ultimately, that as I cannot make it go anywhere, I may as well let it make itself at home.

That home is here. Welcome to my TARDIS.guide page, where I can quite literally track my progress in doing the impossible - I'm going to do all of doctor who! As Doctor Who very quickly spreads, like a sort of fungus, to encompass anything and everything in it's vicinity, calling this a 'herculean' task is an understatement. Perhaps now, finally, through this one indulgence, I can fulfill that childhood need to do everything.

Including, apparently, a ten second long clip of a worm being chased by some Daleks.

Now, at this point you must be wondering - why is ze still writing this. Where is this going. This feels more like an autobiography than a review. Well, the truth is, I have to write this! It's my homework! To scratch that horrible completionist itch, I asked Shauny to pretty please add this video (which he had initially not added because it is, quite literally, three Daleks chasing a worm and nothing else. For ten seconds). He kindly did this (super-fast, I might add!) upon my request, and then said, and I quote, "I want you to write a 200 word review of this masterpiece now". Well, after he so kindly accquiesced to my insanity, it seemed the least I could do.

So, without further ado... an actual honest to gd review of 'The Daleks Chase Walter the Worm'!

Although only ten seconds long, this video is a masterpiece in storytelling, visual dynamics, and expression. The story itself is simple: a worm, soon to become known to all true Doctor Who fans as a dear friend who makes an appearance in many a Dr. Men story, is being chased by three Daleks.

I would like to take a moment, if you will, to admire the composition - the shape of the fields, layered curves at sloping angles, create a wonderful impression of soft rolling hills, the subdued natural greens of the landscape and of Walter marred only by the harsh, unnaturally metallic Daleks. This creates a statement: the Daleks are out of place. They come in here with their great comic-bubble "EXTERMINATE!"s and their, their, their bumps, they harass the natives - they aren't supposed to be there. The story that is told through this composition and the uncannily smooth movements of the great metal beasts is one of imperialism, of colonialism, of everything that nature fears about man.

Walter is a victim of nazi oppression, so typically British - and who is helping him as he wriggles away, terrified, the emotion clear on his simply-drawn face? No one. Everyone says they would have helped hide the Jews, but they forget that it was ordinary people, people like them, who voted the nazis in - and it is ordinary people who are allowing the destruction of nature now. Who are feeding into the consumerist culture carefully curated by people who don't care about the damage they're causing, so long as they get rich. Who cares if we lose the rainforests so long as we can keep pulping out billions of shitty notebooks, right? Who cares if we don't have a planet to watch brilliant works of art like this on in a decade, if people are dying from wildfires and floods right now, as you are reading this, because, what, shrimp Jesus and being able to talk to simulations of popular characters was more important than human suffering???

Billionaire agendas funding industries like oil and AI are destroying our world and holding out a twelve-fingered hand, and you're eating right out of it's blurry palm! This is the palm of the Corporate! This is the palm of the 1% who take your jobs and stop you from getting healthcare and leave people to freeze to death to increase their bottom line and burn the planet!! If you really cared, if you really want to make a difference... you would help the worm.

Stop pumping money into Elon Musk's fortieth yacht and get involved in your local communities, fight back with kindness and solidarity, stand up when you see people threatened... don't be the sun, smiling on like nothing's happening. Ignorance is bliss, but you can't be ignorant forever. Not when a worm's life is in danger.

The lack of detail of the art allows the true horror the worm is experiencing to come through in an endless cycle, as the video is on a loop... that face, that face should haunt your nightmares. Contrasted with the playful, childish background of the smiling sun and the cartoon word bubbles of hate the Daleks spew, this video is nothing short of a masterpiece.

5/5

A more in-depth discussion took place in the discord while I was writing this review about the true nature and intent of the sun, smiling... malignant, ambivalent with a job to do, a bystander who did nothing to help Walter, or an innocent child with no understanding of the situation? For more conversations like this, please join the discord! Thank you to Sef, Owen, Delia, and everyone else who stopped me from going too far. This is surely a reasonable response to a ten second video of some daleks chasing a worm across a field.