A story with loads of great ideas, but a presentation that doesn’t make them shine.

The Doctor and Steven land in Mesopotamia in the 1850’s, at the site of one of the first human cities. They are just in time to meet with it’s discoverer, Professor Wood. However, something might be lurking within the ruins….

A fairly standard setup, but with a lot of potential. The monster within turns out to be a locked-up alien which wants to push human progress by giving them weapons from the future. He’s never seen, but could be freed if the party breaks the seal that hold him.

The Doctor is reluctant. What good would more weapons do. The Professor, however, takes the bait. This is where all the interesting questions start to rise. Two in particular come up:

The seal is ancient, but the professor still partially breaks it for queen and country. Should loyalty to one’s country be above scientific knowledge?

What good would future weapons bring? Yes, they can put one party ahead of another, but would it not just be ruling through fear? Would that make human thrive?

Yet exploration of these questions are left to the wayside. Soon after these questions start to pop up, a third force interferes and locks the creature and himself away forever. Leaving no room to explore anything.

And that’s a massive shame on loads of fronts. The creature gets stopped before we really see more of its true nature. Making what the story describes as a “terrifying encounter” fall flat. The professor never gets the chance to take a stand for either science or his country. The Doctor never gets the chance to discuss the ramifications of ruling through fear, even though he was clearly leading up to that. It all stops too early to be interesting.

Yet I don’t think the story should be longer. It should just be harder and faster. If it were me, I would immediately push the creature as a massive threat. Think Lovecraftian. Inexplicable, unexplainable. Raise the fear. Then, add in the allure of future weapons. Show future victory after victory with no end in sight. Make it truly seem perfect. Make it high risk, high reward.

And then push the 2 main questions in the story. And make to make the professor answer them clearly. No third party to give an easy out. No cutoff from the Doctor’s speech. There is room for ambivalence in some stories, but I think this one would stand stronger with a message. Anything to make this story more decisive. Make it count.

Of course, I’m not saying mine is better or that I could make a better one. But I think this story is slowly building up to something special, until it suddenly quits and calls it a day. And I really want to see what the story could talk about. Right now, it feels like it hits around 40% before it stops. So show me 200%!

Out of the Deep is not bad as it is now, but its just very flat. It is preparation for a second half that literally caves in. It has loads of potential to do something unique, but it just stops when it’s getting there. It’s like a sentence that leaves out the last