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Review of Five Twenty-Nine by PalindromeRose

3 September 2024

The Diary of River Song

#2.02. Five Twenty-Nine ~ 10/10


◆ An Introduction

You ever noticed that the world seems to be ending every other Tuesday in the Whoniverse? Sometimes, there’ll be a massive space opera as Daleks attempt to decimate reality. On other occasions, writers will focus on a small group of the soon-to-be-dead: that’s exactly what John Dorney did… and it’s about as depressing as you can get!


◆ Publisher’s Summary

River has made a terrible discovery.

Billions of lives hang in the balance. But if she can save just a few, then it might just help her solve the conundrum of Earth’s destruction.

But how can she win when survival becomes a race against time itself? A race against Five Twenty-Nine?


◆ Prof. River Song

Alex Kingston’s performance in this episode was simply divine: an exceptionally good job.

River claims that her title is complicated, but that Professor is the best choice (saves her drawing a lot of diagrams). She enjoys questions, that’s why she’s a professor; it means she can keep asking them. Emmet thinks that she’s the perfect house guest – barely troubles the sheets and doesn’t eat anything. River tells Lisa that her life is a little too complicated for children. For somewhat ironic reasons, she simply doesn’t have the time. The minute she realises that the end of the world is not even a day away, she springs into action and starts drawing up a plan to try and save the islanders. River is clearly panicking, as she’s got no idea how to save the Burrows… she has no answers to give them. She could have left the moment she found Rachel, but she wanted to save the Burrows, wanted to save just one person at least.


◆ “And now, the end is near…”

Armageddon: a scenario that writers never seem to tire of, but continue to innovate with by coming up with new and depressing ways to decimate the planet!

My favourite aspect of this episode is that we never find out what is causing the end of the world – all we know is that if your time-zone hits 5:29pm, and you’re still in it, then you’re basically doomed. Keeping us in the dark makes it so much more unnerving, as whole sections of the planet just go silent.


◆ The Burrows

When creating stories that chronicle the end of the world, it’s always interesting to focus on a small group of ordinary people trying to escape the inevitable – that’s what makes the Burrows family so likeable.

An old couple, unable to have any children of their own, sold everything and moved to this island – it was the only way they could afford to purchase a synthetic android: the same one that appeared during the end of the previous episode.

Lisa and Emmet clearly adore each other, and their daughter is a huge part of their lives… which makes the ending such a brutal gut punch. They know that 5:29pm will catch up with them eventually, so decide to just embrace it and die together – though Rachel will live on, due to River giving her a power boost. It’s a depressing end to an already bleak episode, but it’s somewhat sweet too; Lisa and Emmet loved the bones off each other, and they spent their last moments together.


◆ Sound Design

An isolated island in the middle of the sea: tranquil and beautiful… a far cry from the reality bending visuals conjured up in the last episode! Carter does an excellent job with the soundscape for ‘Five Twenty-Nine’.

Waves lap against the side of the island, whilst sheep bleat in the nearby fields. Crackling static flooding the radio waves. A gas hob being lit, and a kettle being boiled. There’s a lovely crackling fire going inside the Burrows’ family home. A radio broadcast informs the world of the 5:29 blackouts. An ethereal, piercing howl is emitted when Steven steps onto the oil rig… and drops down dead. Crackling static comes from the radio, as the UK becomes the last nation to succumb to 5:29.


◆ Conclusion

I’m very sorry to tell you, it’s the end of the world.”

Armageddon has arrived again, killing humanity time zone by time zone. River is doing her best to try and save at least one family… but she’s fighting a losing battle.

Well this was utterly depressing! Keeping us in the dark about what is causing the 5:29 event was absolutely the right decision, because it filled me with such a sense of dread for the entire runtime. It also made it all the more sad when you realise all bar one person dies during this episode! A simply phenomenal script from Dorney, and one that I’ll definitely be returning to in future.

Review created on 3-09-24