Doctor Who – The Monthly Adventures

#172. Eldrad Must Die! ~ 1/10

◆ An Introduction

It’s time to kick off the penultimate trilogy of the “Older Nyssa” arc, and I really wish we weren’t kicking things off with this release. Even the most accomplished writers are still capable of churning out steaming piles of dog turds, and that is exactly what Marc Platt will demonstrate with ‘Eldrad Must Die!’

◆ Publisher’s Summary

"A Doctor, curse his name, threw me down among the dead… but I endure. I am Eldrad… and I must live!

A nuclear icebreaker, foundering in Arctic waters. Seabirds washed up in the fishing resort of Ambermouth, their wings encrusted with crystals. A shining artefact of uncertain provenance, up for sale on an auction site.

All of these things are linked, as the Doctor, Nyssa, Tegan and Turlough are about to discover. Linked to the rebirth of a genocidal tyrant, presumed dead many years ago…

For the sake of the planets Earth and Kastria alike… Eldrad must die!

◆ The Fifth Doctor

‘The Cradle of the Snake’ and ‘The Butcher of Brisbane’ both proved to us how well Marc Platt can write for this troupe of regulars, so I’m sure you can imagine how disappointed I was listening to this adventure. Quite possibly some of the most bland and uninspiring characterisation I have heard in a while, and the performances aren’t up to much either. Peter Davison genuinely sounds like he couldn’t care less about the material in ‘Eldrad Must Die!’, and I genuinely cannot blame him.

The Doctor genuinely made no impression in this story.

◆ Tegan Jovanka

‘Eldrad Must Die!’ is a pretty dire script, but Janet Fielding makes a vain attempt to breathe some life into the material.

Tegan does virtually nothing in this outing, except stealing someone’s Land Rover.

◆ Vislor Turlough

‘Eldrad Must Die!’ is meant to be the Turlough-centric story of this trilogy, but I genuinely found Mark Strickson’s performance here to be one of the most boring he has ever delivered.

Turlough spends the majority of this story hypnotised and reciting the title of the play.

◆ “Older” Nyssa

‘Eldrad Must Die!’ fails to give Sarah Sutton any exciting material, and she sounds just as bored as her fellow cast mates.

Nyssa doesn’t do much in this story, except nearly getting decked by a whale!

◆ Who Asked For This?

This is the first time I have genuinely considered just uploading a blank review to TARDIS Guide, because I don’t see why I should put in more effort than Marc Platt did when writing this story. This is the second story in a row with this TARDIS team to be written by Platt, and both have been sequels to classic adventures from the Philip Hinchcliffe era.

Whilst I will forever praise ‘The Butcher of Brisbane’ for being one of the best adventures with the Fifth Doctor… this has got to be one of the worst. Genuine question for you all here – who in their right mind wanted a sequel to the most boring Hinchcliffe era adventure? I cannot be the only one to think that, outside of Sarah Jane’s beautiful departure scene, ‘The Hand of Fear’ was a complete waste of nearly two hours?

There are so many adventures from Classic Who that Marc Platt could have given the sequel treatment too – we could have gotten a follow up to ‘Fury from the Deep’ that showcased a weaponised version of the weed creature, or a new Fendahl adventure that wasn’t whatever the Hell Tim Foley decided to create for the Torchwood range. We could even have gotten a sequel to ‘Nightmare of Eden’ that made excellent use of the Mandrels. You may have noticed that I’m rambling a fair bit during this review, but that is because there is absolutely no substance to ‘Eldrad Must Die!’

◆ Sound Design

Wilfredo Acosta has impressed me many times in the past with his stunning audio landscapes, especially in the ‘Lady Christina’ spin-off series, but I genuinely have no notes for his work on this story. It’s just boring beyond belief.

Sirens sound aboard a nuclear submarine. Seagulls squawking along the coast of Ambermouth, as waves lap against the beach. The clicking and whistling of a whale.

◆ Music

Wilfredo Acosta is also handling the score for ‘Eldrad Must Die!’, and I sadly have to echo what I said about his sound design. I know how brilliant of a composer he can be from his work on stories like ‘We are the Daleks’ and the ‘Dark Eyes’ box sets… but the music here made literally no impact on me.

◆ Conclusion

“The contamination has spread to humans.”

If ‘The Butcher of Brisbane’ was the perfect example of how to create a polished and exciting sequel to a classic Hinchcliffe adventure, then this is the complete antithesis. What makes that even more shocking is that both stories are written by Marc Platt!

‘The Hand of Fear’ is far from what I would call an interesting story, but I held out hope that a sequel could actually make Eldrad into a really brilliant villain. I was sorely mistaken. This has been an incredibly easy review to write, simply because there is just very little of substance to this plot. Outside of the hallucination scenes Turlough has (which are ripped wholesale from Platt’s earlier adventure for this TARDIS team, ‘The Cradle of the Snake’) I found absolutely nothing of worth in this story.

This is a borderline insufferable release. ‘Eldrad Must Die!’ is proof positive that even a fan-favourite writer can still create a lazy pile of dog turds, but will be forgiven for doing so simply because of their reputation.