Can I just say f**k Kerblam? The original episode is not this impressive feat of filmmaking, and the incredibly frustrating third act, including a speech from the Doctor that is infamously out of character, is just another frustration to pile on top of an already middling episode from a middling season of television (for the most part).

I was SURE the novelization would improve things, and in a lot of ways it does. McTighe’s prose is very good. It’s a quick, engaging read that builds upon key details from the original episode, primarily adding backstory for both Judy and Charlie. Which is precisely what makes it so enraging for me personally whenever the third act, once again, portrays the Doctor as ignorant to the flaws of capitalism and the “heroes” are completely amoral while Charlie, the antagonist, becomes the only sympathetic character.

Judy especially, who is sort of just this hapless administrative person in the original episode, is such a strange character in the novelization. Her backstory as someone who grew up in poverty due to mass layoffs portrays her as a “f**k you I got mine” figure as she tells us that only ten percent of the staff of Kerblam are organic. Despite this, the Doctor repeatedly congratulates her for having humanity’s back, and her decision at the end to hire more human workers comes out of nowhere. Charlie, on the other hand, is shown to be much more sympathetic. His relationship with Kira is a lot sweeter in prose than the actor was able to portray on TV. The backstory with years and years of fighting for basic human rights is treated by the novel as immoral, simply because he and his parents would lie to police. His decision to use violence to harm Kerblam is completely justified, although his plan makes no sense and is stupid as can be. The Doctor of course makes the exact same speech about how individuals are the problem, not the system, and I’m left feeling angry and disappointed that the Doctor would do such a thing (let alone the implication that the 7th would as well, which happens on the final page). This is easily the most angry I’ve been reading Doctor Who. I know McTighe isn’t a bad writer, but this is an abomination