Review of Daybreak by Joniejoon
7 May 2024
This review contains spoilers
A great premise with mediocre writing. Once again, we have Vicki confronting a societal leader 1 to 1.
Except this time, the story clearly tries to have a message. But it’s not sure what.
This story focuses on the history lessons Vicki has had in her education. This society was overthrown and all was set right. Except, now that she’s being interrogated by the society, history’s changed, and she wonders what side she should root for.
It sounds intriguing at a glance. And plays with the ideas other stories, like the Aztecs, have had. But it doesn’t really know what it wants to add to those ideas. What concepts could be expanded with this new perspective.
Yet it just feels disconnected. The story tries to mingle the responsibilities of a time traveller with the responsibilities of a societal leader. But it has no real viewpoint on the matter and both subjects fizzle out. After that the conclusion happens. And Vicki comes across as disillusioned with it all. Shocked by her own choices. But to the listener, that feels entirely unearned, as she has barely done or considered anything.
And it could have been more. There’s ways to make it all work better. Make the connection between the responsibilities in different ways.
For example, make the examiner, who interrogates Vicki, have similar experiences to her. Vicki started a revolution. Vicki lost her parents in a massive attack. Vicki has a certain loneliness and a fear of losing it all, yet is also clever beyond our comprehension! Play with that! Make this man a mirror for Vicki, so that both sides can reflect on their deeds and draw new conclusions.
Another approach is to really make this Vicki’s “Aztecs”. Ian has had one in Audio form, but Vicki hasn’t really had the lesson yet. So play with that. Vicki is stubborn and childish, even though she’s also smart. Push that to the front and make her learn a lesson.
And this might be pushing it, but this could even be a realization moment for the Doctor. History is always going to be changed, just by you being there, is an angle the show hasn’t tackled yet. There’s always going to be an influence from you. It’s the butterfly effect. That might’ve been a good way to push this story into new directions (or maybe ones the future will tackle. I don’t know that yet).
Once again, if I do these kinds of recommendations for a story, I’m not judging it on what I want it to be. I just look back at the promise it shows, and reflect on what I’d do differently. I’ll always rate a story on it’s own grounds, not my own imaginary ones.
So that’s what I’ll also do here. While I love the idea of just having to character talking in a room for an hour, and have seen it succeed before (The Unwinding World comes to mind), this story fails because it lacks contrast between its main themes and is very vague about what it actually wants the characters and audience to feel. It needs way, way better writing for this plot to succeed. Because as it is now, the dialogue is like a old, broken car. It tries to go in a certain direction, but it isn’t sure why it even bothers.
….Okay I’ve had better metaphors, but I’m sticking to this one.