I was having a bad day.

I was having a very bad day, the kind of day that starts with an hour-long phone call to a government agency (with about forty-five minutes of that hell being serenaded with hold music), and doesn't really get any better from there. So, I decided I'd take the plunge, and finally read The Story. The one I've been hearing about for months. The one consistently described as brilliant; the one with so much hype that I was scared, I really was, that after I had read it I would never find anything as good ever again, and reading would be ruined for me forever; go home everyone, no one can top the Murder Llamas!

Ordinarily, it may seem strange to mark this as a spoiler in an already spoiler-warned review, but you have to understand, given the nature of the story - well, perhaps you don't. Perhaps you haven't read it yet. If that is the case, do yourself a favour and read it read it read it right now (https://www.arcbeatlepress.com/news-and-updates/a-christmas-codex-our-gift-to-you) - it cured the pain of dealing with the government! What better accolade could there possibly be?

one billion out of five (but I gave it five stars because the site can't handle the true majesty of the Murder Llamas).

A truly joyous story that has a brilliant balance of worldbuilding, emotions, references, plot, and Llamas.

Never has there been, and never will there be, a villain that can top this creation. An invention to rival the Noodle Man - antagonists with just the right amount of build-up so the reader doesn't feel they aren't living up to the hype. They are everything you could ever hope to see from such a beast; invincible, but in the way of an ancient eldritch monster from a fairytale with no end, rather than a superhero. A natural fact; unbeatable, a statement. The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. There is something about the balance of cruelty and dopey-ness - the blank Llama stare contrasted with the malicious, telepathic spark behind the eyes... and of course, the concept itself! I do not think I can say anything further that can do these beings justice. No words can describe the true terrible sublimity of the Murder Llamas.

I also think it is worth noting that, Plum having sadly missed the wonderful (I'm not biased, hush) Coloth anthology the year before, s/he more than made up for it with this decidedly Coloth-y story. The flavour of the thing feels right - as in, the assignment has been understood. I can easily see the same Callum and Maritsa I've grown to adore from The Book of the Snowstorm (not that this was their debut; just the first time I'd come across them) in this story, taste the dust of the same Library - this is not only an excellent story, but an excellent Coloth story.

The bleeding plant was a very visceral image, with the importance to Coloth's home and backstory meshing well with his new life with high-strung Maritsa, her emotions around giving him a perfect Christmas feeding into the very plant that is key to her plan. I'm a sucker for emotions having an impact on the physical world, causing changes that can't quite be explained in the purely physical realm, so this plot felt made for me. This, combined with the hilarity/terror of the villain, and the lovely smattering of nods to other parts of the Whoniverse, settled nicely with the holiday theme to create a wonderful story that I would happily recommend to anyone who stands near me long enough for me to get out a sentence.

Here's to hoping that the writer never finds this review - I worry that her ego would become unbearable, perhaps swelling to the point where it overtakes all of reality, and Plum subsumes the entire universe, much like what I'm sure must be becoming his most infamous creation - the Murder Llamas.