DOCTOR: Hello, I'm-

TOSHKA: A demon from hell!

DOCTOR: Close enough.

DOCTOR: We couldn't save all of them.

FADE: We could save some.

DOCTOR: "Some" isn't good enough.

CHRIS: The overrides are biometrically linked to me.

DOCTOR: So I’d need a sample of your DNA to trip the lock. Right! You know what you need to do.

CHRIS: Oh, all right, fine. I’ll kiss you.

(Mwah! Chris kisses the Doctor.)

DOCTOR: Oh. No, I just meant a follicle of your hair.

CHRIS: Oh. Really?

DOCTOR: But don’t worry about it.

CHRIS: Oh, I’m so embarrassed.

DOCTOR: There should be enough on my lips, um—oh, actually I probably need a bit extra. Hang on.

(Mmmmwah! The Doctor kisses Chris back.)

DOCTOR: I'm guessing this isn't the Strictly final? I should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.

STEVEN: I suppose everyone thinks of the war they were in as the war.

The prophecies of old foretold a war across the stars.

The cosmos torn asunder. Every planet left with scars.

From Skaro to Kasterborous, and Villengard as well —

Some know it as the Time War, but the Time Lords call it Hell.

The seven deaths of Davros, and the slaughter of Skull Moon.

The Neverwhen, the Never-weres, the Never-Gone-Too-Soon.

The war raged on for eons, and it’s only just begun,

Fragmenting space and causing time itself to be undone.

Until a man is born upon the barren sands of Karn,

Until that man confronts himself twice over, in a barn.

Until the Daleks breach the second city, and it falls.

Until that man engraves the words “No More” into the walls.

I am that man, and I will take this Moment to avow:

If once there was a Doctor, there is not a Doctor now.

DOCTOR: So a hotel, but instead of rooms, time portals, yeah?

TREV: Yeah.

DOCTOR: Oh! Oh! That stone door up there, that is actual stone, live from the Stone Age. God... Live from a submarine. Mesopotamia. (a leaning door) Oh, come on, got to be Pisa.

TREV: Yeah, Pisa.

DOCTOR: Ha! (looking at leaflet) Ancient Rome, the fall of Troy, your favourite assassination. Package deals for all of history's biggest hits. No wonder there was no room at the inn.

DOCTOR: Ugh! Do you see? This is why nobody likes you! You have to be mysterious all the time. That's why everyone leaves you. That is why you are always alone.

JOY: She died on Christmas Day. On Christmas Day! I said goodbye on an iPad! Because of the rules! She died alone! And those awful people and their wine fridges, and their dancing, and their parties, and I listened to them, and I let my mother die alone! So I can never be home on Christmas Day, and I can never be with anyone on Christmas Day because I let her down. I let her down on the last day of her life, on Christmas Day. I can’t ever change that. I can’t ever change it.

DOCTOR: I mean, basically the code came from nowhere, but then so did the universe, and no-one complains about that.

DOCTOR: You are being mansplained by a briefcase.

JOY: I thought I was being mansplained by you.

DOCTOR: Honey, the Doctor's in the room - it's the mansplain central.

DOCTOR: Do you know how lonely you are? You live in a great, big, giant spaceship and there aren't any chairs! And you haven't even noticed because nobody ever comes round!

MR COLCHESTER: You can never go wrong with the Muppets.

ACE: The Doctor once showed the film to Charles Dickens. He died a very happy man.

Audacity: Doctor, at least try to make sense?

They always found one another, didn't they? Romana, and Narvin, and Leela; always together in some combination. An enclave of familiarity against the vastness of time.

TEGAN: I can't go back there Doctor, you can't let me go back there.

DOCTOR: I won't.

ADRIC: The Doctor can find a way out of this Tegan, you know that, he'll never let any of us down.

TEGAN: I was angry about the suppression coronet, I still am, but I don't know if I was entirely fair.

ADRIC: People aren't always fair to me.

TEGAN: Shut up Adric.

TEGAN: This is you all over Doctor, you're always thinking about the adventure, you never stop to look after the people you're supposed to care about!

DOCTOR: That's not fair.

NYSSA: The Doctor was trying to protect you Tegan.

TEGAN: Only as far as it suited his own interests.

EMILY BARNFATHER: Who are you Doctor?

DOCTOR: I am me.

DALEK DIGGER: EXCAVATE!

DOCTOR: Well done you did it.

EMILY BARNFATHER: It also means at some point we will have to come back this way.

DOCTOR: We'll cross that plank when we come to it.

BUCCA: Who are you?

DOCTOR: I'm the Doctor. You are the Bucca, I presume.

BUCCA: Are you the good one?

DOCTOR: I've always thought so, but some people prefer one of my other regenerations.

DOCTOR: We’re not lost, Charley. Think of it more as we’ve “gone on holiday by mistake”.

CHARLEY: Doctor, that’s life with you all over!

DOCTOR: What can I say? I’m the original accidental tourist.

EMILY BARNFATHER: A secret tunnel... We found an honest to goodness secret tunnel!

CHARLEY: And a very nice one too.

EMILY BARNFATHER: But who put it here?