KATE: Don't you dare point a gun at her! You were right, Conrad, I didn't remember you. So I checked my notes from that interview eight years ago, and do you know what I wrote?

SHIRLEY: I’d throw in a compliment

KATE: The three words that summed you up? "Don't trust him."

CONRAD: Mm. You think you're so superior. Up in your tower, looking down on us.

KATE: Keeping you safe

CONRAD: I want a confession. On camera. Admit to the lies. Show us the monster costumes. Show us the tech that you’re hiding, that we’ve paid for.

KATE: You’re deluded

CONRAD: The grown ups are talking. Come on, Commander-in-chief. Admit. Or are you a coward, like your father was?

KATE: You should be very careful what you say about my father

CONRAD: His only legacy was a pack of lies.

KATE: He was 100 times the man you are. And that gun is UNIT issue. So where's Jordan Lang?

CONRAD: Who?

IBRAHIM: He's been shot. Ground team are rushing him to the infirmary.

KATE: You shot someone to get in here?

CONRAD: It's nothing to do with me.

KATE: A man's life is hanging in the balance and you're not even sorry.

CONRAD: Maybe you shot him. Or he was an actor. Or he never existed. So come on. Confess! All right. Let's start with your best friend. Where is the Doctor and his box of tricks?

RUBY: Oh, you're so lucky he's not here.

KATE: She's telling the truth. And, actually, I'm glad he's not here. Because he would've stopped me.

CONRAD: Oh. From what?

KATE: From showing you and your followers what we're protecting them from. The truth, Conrad. As requested.

DOCTOR: You have to be invited into my TARDIS, Conrad. To be special. But you? You're special, for all the wrong reasons. You see, I am fighting a battle on behalf of everyday people... who just want to get through their day, and feel safe, and warm, and fed. And then along comes this... Noise. All day long, this relentless noise. Cowards like you, weaponising lies, taking people's insecurities and fear, and making it currency. You are exhausting. You stamp on the truth, choke our bandwidth, and shred our patience. Because the only strategy you have is to wear us down. But the thing is, Conrad, I have energy to burn and all the time in the universe.

BELINDA: But really. Cos my parents are back home, and if this is Friday, then they go to this bar with their mates, and my dad sings and everyone laughs and then the whole room ends up singing. Is that still happening, Doctor? Are they safe?

DOCTOR: I hope so.

BELINDA: You hope?

DOCTOR: Come here. I will meet your mum and dad, and I will make your dad laugh, and your mum can whistle at my behind. And I will sing. I will do the singing. That is a promise.

BELINDA: But you can't promise.

DOCTOR: Look at me. I can. I will. I do.

SHAYA: Doctor, you said you'd been here before. When was that?

DOCTOR: A different life. Back when the world was made of diamonds. And I met something so vile. It had no face, no name, no self. I have never been so scared in my life.

BELINDA: What did it do?

DOCTOR: It had fun. Oh. Huh. It played games. I think it was learning.

ALISS: Don't turn your back on me. Please, don't turn your back on me.

DOCTOR: You're not celluloid. You're made of light. Light come to life.

MR RING-A-DING: I'm beamin' at ya!

BELINDA: I'm Belinda, and this is the Doctor. Really? Just "the Doctor"? Always?

DOCTOR: Yeah.

BELINDA: Ridiculous.

Lizzie Abel: Well, I really really loved it, though I marked it down to a 7 out of 10, 'cause it gave away the ending in the middle, and the villain's motivation changed.

Hassan Chowdry: And technically, it's puppets that want to be boys, not cartoons.

Robyn Gossage: Oh my god!

Lizzie Abel: We're still here!

*excited laughter*

MR RING-A-DING: Don't make me laugh! Because... (sings) I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding. I'll make your heart bells sing. Please don't make me laugh. Just take my autograph. Now don't be crazy, pretty lady, I know just one thing. For I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Did you ever meet a Ring-a-Ding? Did you ever see such a lovely thing? Now jump and hop and laugh and sing for I am he! Oh, yes! I'm Mr Ring-a-Ding! Oh, my!

RENÉE: I'll talk to anyone about that boy of mine... if you'll bend the rules.

LOGAN: I got no problem. This time of night, who's looking?

BELINDA: Bend the rules?

DOCTOR: In 1952 Miami, the diner is segregated. No blacks, which includes you. We're breaking the law just by being in here.

BELINDA: But that's... Oh, my God, I can't...

DOCTOR: Save it for later, Belinda. Right now we are busy.

BELINDA: How can you say that?

DOCTOR: I have toppled worlds. Sometimes I wait for people to topple their world. Until then, I live in it and I shine.

LUX: I'm a two-dimensional character, you can't expect a backstory!

BELINDA: Have you got two hearts?

DOCTOR: Padam, padam.

DOCTOR: I can’t help thinking, Bel, that maybe we are meant to be connected.

BELINDA: Like this is destiny? Is that what you say to all the girls? Is that what you said to Sasha? She trusted you, and she died. And you tested my DNA without even asking my permission. God. You’re dangerous.

DOCTOR: I’m sorry. Inexcusable. With both hearts, I apologise.

BELINDA: I am not one of your adventures. Now I’m asking you, Doctor, to do the right thing.

BELINDA: So, what’s your name? Doctor what?

DOCTOR: Just the Doctor.

BELINDA: What, you’re actually called the Doctor?

DOCTOR: Yeah.

BELINDA: All right, then. I’m called the Nurse.

DOCTOR: Doctor and Nurse. Good team.

BELINDA: Planet of the incels.

SCOOT: Polish Polish

BELINDA: You mean it's literally the same diploma, like in a time travel way?

DOCTOR: Timey-wimey.

BELINDA: Timey-wimey?

DOCTOR: Yup.

BELINDA: Am I six?

BELINDA: Is that better or worse than humans?

DOCTOR: If you start deciding which body is best, you’re going down a very dangerous path.

DOCTOR: Typical humans. The only thing you ever learn from your mistakes is how to make them all over again.

TEGAN: If you're trying to fob us off with shopping, it's working.

THE HYPNOTISING CAT: You are under my command. Jump into that puddle behind you.

DOCTOR: Honey, I'll ruin my shoes.

WOLF: You can't run forever, Time Lord!

DOCTOR: But I have! I was with Pheidippides at Marathon. I trained with the Chariots of Fire boys, in 1924!

DOCTOR: How's the theme go? "Der-der-der-der-der-derr, der-der-der-der-derr..."

DOCTOR: Hello, I'm-

TOSHKA: A demon from hell!

DOCTOR: Close enough.

DOCTOR: We couldn't save all of them.

FADE: We could save some.

DOCTOR: "Some" isn't good enough.