Bernice Summerfield: The Greatest Shop in the Galaxy

Benny is not digging up the car park of the Gigamarket for nothing. Oh no. There's no way on Sirius One Bee that you could conclude that she was there for any other reason than to investigate the famed Latrines of Baladroon.

Shoes? She was there to buy shoes? Get outta town! Get off the planet bub! And don't come back until you've washed out your brain with new-biological-Cortexscour.

Monsters? Nah! Don't be silly! The Borvali are on their side on the force wall ­ they could never break through it. And anyway, what would a cross between a ten-foot Pepperami and a cockeyed autopsy want with the Greatest Shop in the Galaxy? I mean, come on, what would they want to buy?

And Time Anomalies? You need the science fiction section on the four hundred and twelfth floor of the book department if you want Time Anomalies, mate. Tch!

Everything here is under control. Honest.